this is sucky
so... whoever the powers that be that control the surgical puppet strings at the VA hospital here have ordered a second MRI on my bad shoulder... by second MRI, they mean extra images, not a redo. when they called me to schedule it, they actually used the words "extra images."
i'm still in pain from the last one where they positioned me funny and hurt my shoulder worse.
i'm having the second MRI tomorrow at 1 pm. i don't even know. i kinda want them to find something, anything wrong with it because that would at least explain why i'm in constant pain. but, BIG BUT, i don't want a third surgery on this arm. it feels like my repair is literally ripping apart from the inside out, like someone is taking a giant seam ripper to my shoulder. i have a pretty high pain tolerance (thank you army, for teaching me that pain was weakness leaving the body instead of teaching me that pain is a sign of something being wrong) and this pain level is nearly at the self surgery level.
we all know how shitty the VA is, so there must be something wrong because if it was inconclusive, they would pat me on the ass and send me on my merry way. i tried to get the nurses that give me my depo shot to tell me, and they were like "you know we can't tell you, but we think ortho ordered the extra images, and you pretty much know what time it is." they told me when i come in for my MRI? that i could try to come in early as a walk in to my clinic and seeing if my case manager will tell me what the hell is going on, and i might just do that. however, my case manager is a stupid bitch that doesn't deserve her job, so we'll see.
i just want the pain to stop. i want them to fix it right this time, and i want to not have to ever take a super physical job again that might fuck it up again.
i'm still in pain from the last one where they positioned me funny and hurt my shoulder worse.
i'm having the second MRI tomorrow at 1 pm. i don't even know. i kinda want them to find something, anything wrong with it because that would at least explain why i'm in constant pain. but, BIG BUT, i don't want a third surgery on this arm. it feels like my repair is literally ripping apart from the inside out, like someone is taking a giant seam ripper to my shoulder. i have a pretty high pain tolerance (thank you army, for teaching me that pain was weakness leaving the body instead of teaching me that pain is a sign of something being wrong) and this pain level is nearly at the self surgery level.
we all know how shitty the VA is, so there must be something wrong because if it was inconclusive, they would pat me on the ass and send me on my merry way. i tried to get the nurses that give me my depo shot to tell me, and they were like "you know we can't tell you, but we think ortho ordered the extra images, and you pretty much know what time it is." they told me when i come in for my MRI? that i could try to come in early as a walk in to my clinic and seeing if my case manager will tell me what the hell is going on, and i might just do that. however, my case manager is a stupid bitch that doesn't deserve her job, so we'll see.
i just want the pain to stop. i want them to fix it right this time, and i want to not have to ever take a super physical job again that might fuck it up again.