I think there is a big difference between acting selfish and being self-possessed. Projecting self-assurance is a signature of Leo and while you may appear to others to think and act with self-assurance, I wonder if you identify as closely with that self-assurance. What is different about how you express confidence?
Your natal Mars in Leo is just over four degrees from your Cancer Sun. When any planet is within three degrees of the Sun, astrologers say the planet is "combust the Sun" and what they mean is that the Sun outshines the other planet, muting the "combust" planet's expression. I mention this because Mars and the Sun are "combust" in my own chart and I have been accused of being selfish most of my life, when from my perspective much of my "selfishness" has been simple self-preservation.
Your Mars is just outside of the usual conditions for being "combust", but similarities can be drawn. Will and action are closely identified with self, so much so that one can seem selfish, while in application a person is only self-possessed. Observed negatively as self-serving and selfish, in a more positive light this self-possessed person would otherwise be described as enterprising and assertive.
Of course, we experience and react to the negative labels we encounter through life and in an effort to rid ourselves of what we see as negative, often project these qualities onto others. In other words, rejecting for yourself these same qualities found in your natal chart and projecting them onto other people can lead to feelings of selfishness and sensitivity around fair-play, especially when others mislabel you or you observe it in the world around you. This is often a signal that we are giving away some of our power rather than exploring how we can empower ourselves more effectively.
When you see the negativity in others and miss it in yourself it becomes easy to pass judgment on others. You are an empathic individual, as evidenced by your Moon-ruled Sun and your expressed desire to help others, so you identify with this quality as you see it in your Leo friends. So when a friend points out to you what seems to be lacking in your personality, you take notice, and why shouldn't you?
All the same, do you believe this observation is accurate?
Well, I take any criticism of my personality seriously but I spend time mulling it over, reviewing the source of that criticism and the evidence he/she uses to back it up. And...there is the simple trust level. I trust some people's judgment a little more than others'. I trust Roscoe's judgment, for example, quite a bit more than anyone else's, but even then, he's still said things about me that, after consideration, I disagreed with. Not often but...once in a while.
I used to accept the criticism of everyone I was friends with and many I didn't have any particular bond with at all (work mates, for example) and I would now consider that a product of low self esteem. As I've gotten older, and more experienced, and also more "talked up" by positive friends, I've found myself not actually rejecting something someone says is lacking in my personality, but, as I said before, taking it as something to think about and assessing accuracy for myself.
Your natal Mars in Leo is just over four degrees from your Cancer Sun. When any planet is within three degrees of the Sun, astrologers say the planet is "combust the Sun" and what they mean is that the Sun outshines the other planet, muting the "combust" planet's expression. I mention this because Mars and the Sun are "combust" in my own chart and I have been accused of being selfish most of my life, when from my perspective much of my "selfishness" has been simple self-preservation.
Your Mars is just outside of the usual conditions for being "combust", but similarities can be drawn. Will and action are closely identified with self, so much so that one can seem selfish, while in application a person is only self-possessed. Observed negatively as self-serving and selfish, in a more positive light this self-possessed person would otherwise be described as enterprising and assertive.
Of course, we experience and react to the negative labels we encounter through life and in an effort to rid ourselves of what we see as negative, often project these qualities onto others. In other words, rejecting for yourself these same qualities found in your natal chart and projecting them onto other people can lead to feelings of selfishness and sensitivity around fair-play, especially when others mislabel you or you observe it in the world around you. This is often a signal that we are giving away some of our power rather than exploring how we can empower ourselves more effectively.
When you see the negativity in others and miss it in yourself it becomes easy to pass judgment on others. You are an empathic individual, as evidenced by your Moon-ruled Sun and your expressed desire to help others, so you identify with this quality as you see it in your Leo friends. So when a friend points out to you what seems to be lacking in your personality, you take notice, and why shouldn't you?
All the same, do you believe this observation is accurate?
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I used to accept the criticism of everyone I was friends with and many I didn't have any particular bond with at all (work mates, for example) and I would now consider that a product of low self esteem. As I've gotten older, and more experienced, and also more "talked up" by positive friends, I've found myself not actually rejecting something someone says is lacking in my personality, but, as I said before, taking it as something to think about and assessing accuracy for myself.
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