the more mistakes i make the more i will learn
let me tell you whats been going on in realistic non poetic and no opinions unless i put it on the side
bernie had his truck break down a couple months ago
it really got him stressed out
he got paranoid about me lonna and mel and laura and nicole drinking
paranoid about our activities outside of the apartment
he got "stuck" with the idea of working for the door company
they paid him shit
and treated him the same way
for some reason because lonna quit school he thought i had given it up too
so we decided to break up
(probably a very very good choice)
i of course freaked out
that is what i do
he stayed with us for a while
mel moved in
laura moved in
4 girls and him
he made a comment about not likeing the fact that he was in bachelorette pad
(right now i have the same feelings about myself)
he moved out
i freaked out again
because it is what i do
every week or so he would show up and we would end up stressing eachother out and then sleeping together
then he went on a couple dates with this girl
and started using some substances i don't aprove of
then we slept together again
then i found out he was dating
called him up and bitched him out
i freaked out again
of course i did
he came over the next day
we talked for about 2 hours
i told him that i was discusted with the idea of him involving me with anything like that if he was going to start dating people
i asked if he was going to bother saying anything to her
he looked away and said he didn't know
i asked him if he had been using any drugs
he said no (he lied...and i rolled my eyes to confirm that i knew better)
i changed the subject
i told him i felt like he was trying to erase 3 and a half years
by treating me the way he was
he told me he didn't want to erase anything
he spoke about work
and how everything bothered him
i told him how i didn't want to stop spending time with his family
and he brought up how he didn't plan on seeing them much anymore
he spoke about how he needs to rely completly on himself
i told him he was wrong
i was angry by the time he was leaving
i told him that i didn't think he even wanted to be freinds anymore
he said that wasn't true
i told him i didn't think he was making much of an effort
he gave me one of those holding tight goodbye hugs and breathed in deeply
then gave a half smile and left
i moped around alot
i hung out with this guy one night
i did things i wish i didn't
but no not that much
i *realized* that i can't do that to myself
i decided to find something better to do and fill my time
with something better than stressing over him
so we had josh come over to stay away from drugs
he taought me a bit about how to skateboard
we hung out every night way too late
bernie showed up at my work kind of angry
bernie had his truck break down a couple months ago
it really got him stressed out
he got paranoid about me lonna and mel and laura and nicole drinking
paranoid about our activities outside of the apartment
he got "stuck" with the idea of working for the door company
they paid him shit
and treated him the same way
for some reason because lonna quit school he thought i had given it up too
so we decided to break up
(probably a very very good choice)
i of course freaked out
that is what i do
he stayed with us for a while
mel moved in
laura moved in
4 girls and him
he made a comment about not likeing the fact that he was in bachelorette pad
(right now i have the same feelings about myself)
he moved out
i freaked out again
because it is what i do
every week or so he would show up and we would end up stressing eachother out and then sleeping together
then he went on a couple dates with this girl
and started using some substances i don't aprove of
then we slept together again
then i found out he was dating
called him up and bitched him out
i freaked out again
of course i did
he came over the next day
we talked for about 2 hours
i told him that i was discusted with the idea of him involving me with anything like that if he was going to start dating people
i asked if he was going to bother saying anything to her
he looked away and said he didn't know
i asked him if he had been using any drugs
he said no (he lied...and i rolled my eyes to confirm that i knew better)
i changed the subject
i told him i felt like he was trying to erase 3 and a half years
by treating me the way he was
he told me he didn't want to erase anything
he spoke about work
and how everything bothered him
i told him how i didn't want to stop spending time with his family
and he brought up how he didn't plan on seeing them much anymore
he spoke about how he needs to rely completly on himself
i told him he was wrong
i was angry by the time he was leaving
i told him that i didn't think he even wanted to be freinds anymore
he said that wasn't true
i told him i didn't think he was making much of an effort
he gave me one of those holding tight goodbye hugs and breathed in deeply
then gave a half smile and left
i moped around alot
i hung out with this guy one night
i did things i wish i didn't
but no not that much
i *realized* that i can't do that to myself
i decided to find something better to do and fill my time
with something better than stressing over him
so we had josh come over to stay away from drugs
he taought me a bit about how to skateboard
we hung out every night way too late
bernie showed up at my work kind of angry