Chapter 7 - The Dementor, by VKitty
Why is Ron always underappreciating Scabbers? He'll be lucky if he doesn't lose him in some weird way to an evil dark overlord...
Anyways, after Mrs. Weasley chases down Ron to give him back his useless rat, the Trio eventually find a booth in the train after apparently searching the whole thing and finding that every other car is full. Well I guess that sucks for all of those kids who are still in the halls, huh?
Also, this car contains a sleeping man and a bottle of alcohol. Party in the fourth car, dude.
Harry presumably tells Harry and Ron about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban specifically to chase down Harry (although, Harry, don't flatter yourself. He's probably just dying for some chocolate turtles or something. Yes, that was my theory on the real reason Sirius Black escaped when I first read the books. He was just dying for chocolate turtles.) Apparently the act of telling them "Sirius Black is a majorly evil murderer who is out for my guts and has just escaped from Azkaban, which is, like, impossible to the nth degree" takes a few hours.
For illustration, it goes from this:
to this:
Ron, once again being a shining beacon of confidence and hope in midst of the darkness of a corrupt world, tells Harry that he's being chased after someone who did the impossible. Thank you, Ron. We definitely know who to call when we need a pick-me-up, don't we?
(Although, in my opinion, I'd probably call R.J. Lupin, seeing as how he apparently carries a bottle of alcohol wherever he goes. He must know how to party.)
Hermione complains that Ron stepped on her foot (which, you know, THANK YOU Hermione for bringing up something SO IMPORTANT while the WINDOWS ARE FREEZING OVER.) Ron must have some long-ass legs then, because he's way on the other seat. I have a feeling it was actually Harry who stepped on her foot. Or maybe even herself. Cold can inspire insanity. But I've digressed.
DEMENTOR'S INNER THOUGHTS:
*insert a Star Wars/Lord of the Rings joke here at your leisure*
HERMIONE'S INNER THOUGHTS:
Oh god, I've read about this. Damn, where are the hobbits when you need them?
RON'S INNER THOUGHTS:
Aiiiiiiiiiiieeee! SAVE US HARRY! *se moja sus pantalones*
HARRY INNER THOUGHTS:
Dude, am I tripping?
Anyways, the Dementor starts to suck out Harry's soul. It looks really freaky, too. I mean, seriously, Dementors obviously don't get enough to eat if they're going around and stealing the souls of completely innocent people. I think maybe Hermione should start a United Race for the Protection of Inequally Campaigned Kinsmen of Humans (otherwise known as U. R. P. R. I. C. K. H.)
The Dementor continues to suck out Harry's soul. Apparently Harry's soul is all cloudy and blurry. In fact, you could probably put a "Harry's the good pot" joke right around this scene if you wanted. Either way, Harry passes out to the sound of somebody screaming in his ears.
A few minutes later, Harry wakes up. The Sleeping Drunk (also known as their New and Shiny Professor Lupin) hands him chocolate. Because, you know, chocolate solves everything. Chocolate and arson, that is. Harry, having never had parents to remind him never to take candy from strangers (especially strangers with a funny mustache), accepts the chocolate while Lupin goes off to talk to the driver.
Harry asks Hermione and Ron if either of them passed out like he did. They reply no, because they're not spun of complete floss like he is. The plot thickens.
Let me take this time to comment on just how pale the Trio is.
Look at that. They almost glow in the dark.
Anyways, after Mrs. Weasley chases down Ron to give him back his useless rat, the Trio eventually find a booth in the train after apparently searching the whole thing and finding that every other car is full. Well I guess that sucks for all of those kids who are still in the halls, huh?
Also, this car contains a sleeping man and a bottle of alcohol. Party in the fourth car, dude.
Harry presumably tells Harry and Ron about Sirius Black escaping from Azkaban specifically to chase down Harry (although, Harry, don't flatter yourself. He's probably just dying for some chocolate turtles or something. Yes, that was my theory on the real reason Sirius Black escaped when I first read the books. He was just dying for chocolate turtles.) Apparently the act of telling them "Sirius Black is a majorly evil murderer who is out for my guts and has just escaped from Azkaban, which is, like, impossible to the nth degree" takes a few hours.
For illustration, it goes from this:
to this:
Ron, once again being a shining beacon of confidence and hope in midst of the darkness of a corrupt world, tells Harry that he's being chased after someone who did the impossible. Thank you, Ron. We definitely know who to call when we need a pick-me-up, don't we?
(Although, in my opinion, I'd probably call R.J. Lupin, seeing as how he apparently carries a bottle of alcohol wherever he goes. He must know how to party.)
Hermione complains that Ron stepped on her foot (which, you know, THANK YOU Hermione for bringing up something SO IMPORTANT while the WINDOWS ARE FREEZING OVER.) Ron must have some long-ass legs then, because he's way on the other seat. I have a feeling it was actually Harry who stepped on her foot. Or maybe even herself. Cold can inspire insanity. But I've digressed.
DEMENTOR'S INNER THOUGHTS:
*insert a Star Wars/Lord of the Rings joke here at your leisure*
HERMIONE'S INNER THOUGHTS:
Oh god, I've read about this. Damn, where are the hobbits when you need them?
RON'S INNER THOUGHTS:
Aiiiiiiiiiiieeee! SAVE US HARRY! *se moja sus pantalones*
HARRY INNER THOUGHTS:
Dude, am I tripping?
Anyways, the Dementor starts to suck out Harry's soul. It looks really freaky, too. I mean, seriously, Dementors obviously don't get enough to eat if they're going around and stealing the souls of completely innocent people. I think maybe Hermione should start a United Race for the Protection of Inequally Campaigned Kinsmen of Humans (otherwise known as U. R. P. R. I. C. K. H.)
The Dementor continues to suck out Harry's soul. Apparently Harry's soul is all cloudy and blurry. In fact, you could probably put a "Harry's the good pot" joke right around this scene if you wanted. Either way, Harry passes out to the sound of somebody screaming in his ears.
A few minutes later, Harry wakes up. The Sleeping Drunk (also known as their New and Shiny Professor Lupin) hands him chocolate. Because, you know, chocolate solves everything. Chocolate and arson, that is. Harry, having never had parents to remind him never to take candy from strangers (especially strangers with a funny mustache), accepts the chocolate while Lupin goes off to talk to the driver.
Harry asks Hermione and Ron if either of them passed out like he did. They reply no, because they're not spun of complete floss like he is. The plot thickens.
Let me take this time to comment on just how pale the Trio is.
Look at that. They almost glow in the dark.