Some random thoughts
1:14 AM - a stream of conscious...religion style
Current mood: pensive
So i'm not sure where I'm going with this. But I have some ideas :)
Firstly, thanks to all who left comments or let me know they still are reading :).
But for real...God is awesome. Just when you're having a doubt or some kinda weird day or your mind isn't in the right place or something, He totally shows up and is like HEY wait a second...pay attention girl! I had a friend message me today telling me that she read my blogs and that some of what I said was really inspirational and what not. That made me feel amazing, and see that maybe the changes that God is helping me make in my life are really affecting people. And to think it really started with Nicole's passing...I told you the girl would change lives, and that her death would have good that came out of it! Its amazing how one situation can be a catalyst for so many more to happen. Maybe it seems like something small, but to me its huge. Its little messages from God like that that really make a difference and all.
I'm reading this book by Voddie Baucham (i've had it for a while but never got around to reading it). And man there's so much in it. Its called The Ever-loving Truth. Someone asked me the other day what it was about, and its hard to even say. I got to hear Voddie speak several times, and he's one of the most amazing preachers I've ever had the privledge of hearing. seriously. He's one of those people that just has so many ideas that you'd never even consider. I think my most favorite thing about him is how he takes the ideas and actions that are considered acceptable in today's public eye, and challenges them and will flat out tell you that its not part of the Christian life. he's not afraid to tell you that something is messed up. Now don't get me wrong, he's not a judgement maker nor does he point fingers at people and just say "holy crap what the heck are you doing you're a bad person" and all...he does it in a very logical and respectable way. But with all the things he says and throws at you, it just leaves your head spinning. In the book, it addresses things like the stereotype that Christians are given in the media, it talks about the growing fears from christians to profess their faith and to talk about God, and how Christianity and the name of Jesus is considered such an "offensive" name, however if you were to use any other name...buddha, ghandi, dali llama (sp??), etc...that it would be perfectly fine, and that we would just be practicing "religious tolerance" (by the way, dont get him started on any type of tolerance. he hates that). Its just...its really cool. lots of info you'd never think about.
You know, it almost just reiterates that Christianity IS real...cause i mean, it says people will be persecuted for believing...and isn't that sort of what it is? why are people so afraid of a faith that is based on someone who by almost all people is considered to be one of the greatest and most kind person to ever walk the earth? How can people hate a faith in which the practices call for you to be loving towards all, and forgiving, and nice, and all that. What is so wrong with it all that people can't even stand to have their kids in school hear the name of Jesus in it? Jesus was a historical character too. I know you have radical christians that scare people and yell in their faces that they're going to hell...which is a practice i strongly DO NOT support, but all of that asside, what is so wrong with Christianity? Are people afraid of something that will give them a challenge to go against the grain? Are people just afraid of the truth?
Anyway, in a change of subject, (though not totally), i saw Boondock Saints tonight. it was a pretty interesting movie. I have to admit, though I didn't know what the story line was in the first place, that it didn't 100ive up to these "holy crap most amazing movie ever" status that everyone kept giving it. Though the idea of the movie was thought-provoking. But I guess I couldn't get past the fact that though the "saints" were killing bad people, that in general i dont think killing is right in any situation, save strictly self defense. If my mom or something were to be murdered, it wouldn't be up to me to get vengence. Thats not my job. He will get his own. there's even a verse in the Bible about that, though I dont remember where it is. I can check on that later if anyone wants me to. But yea. I mean the whole thing was an interesting concept, but in general I'd have to bank on the idea that I dont think killing people is right. One life is already lost, why take another. I'd rather them suffer in jail forever (though under my tax dollars) than to be killed. I think thats more impactful.
I have to admit I get scared though. I get scared about the idea of eternal life, and I dont know why. I guess its cause its something that in a sense you have no control over. you either are eternally in hell (this could be argued)or eternally in heaven. but i guess God says that if we give him ourselves, that he promises better things in return. I guess the human mind can't really fathom the greatness that heaven will be. and though in this world i feel like i'm gonna live forever, knowin that one day i actually will is even more surreal. anyone else ever felt that way? i wish i didn't. I've been prayin a lot to get rid of this fear of it all. I just dont understand it. I dont want to be scared of something that is supposed to be the greatest thing. Yet when the talk of eternal life or the end of the world comes up, i get freaked out and dont wanna talk about it. But then i guess i think about all the people I get to be around for forever, and thats consoling. but still. i guess its the uncertainty...i dont know where it is, what its gonna be like, who's gonna be there, what we'll do, etc.
I'm trustin God. thats all I can do.
oh well. thats all I got for tonight.
JeN
Current mood: pensive
So i'm not sure where I'm going with this. But I have some ideas :)
Firstly, thanks to all who left comments or let me know they still are reading :).
But for real...God is awesome. Just when you're having a doubt or some kinda weird day or your mind isn't in the right place or something, He totally shows up and is like HEY wait a second...pay attention girl! I had a friend message me today telling me that she read my blogs and that some of what I said was really inspirational and what not. That made me feel amazing, and see that maybe the changes that God is helping me make in my life are really affecting people. And to think it really started with Nicole's passing...I told you the girl would change lives, and that her death would have good that came out of it! Its amazing how one situation can be a catalyst for so many more to happen. Maybe it seems like something small, but to me its huge. Its little messages from God like that that really make a difference and all.
I'm reading this book by Voddie Baucham (i've had it for a while but never got around to reading it). And man there's so much in it. Its called The Ever-loving Truth. Someone asked me the other day what it was about, and its hard to even say. I got to hear Voddie speak several times, and he's one of the most amazing preachers I've ever had the privledge of hearing. seriously. He's one of those people that just has so many ideas that you'd never even consider. I think my most favorite thing about him is how he takes the ideas and actions that are considered acceptable in today's public eye, and challenges them and will flat out tell you that its not part of the Christian life. he's not afraid to tell you that something is messed up. Now don't get me wrong, he's not a judgement maker nor does he point fingers at people and just say "holy crap what the heck are you doing you're a bad person" and all...he does it in a very logical and respectable way. But with all the things he says and throws at you, it just leaves your head spinning. In the book, it addresses things like the stereotype that Christians are given in the media, it talks about the growing fears from christians to profess their faith and to talk about God, and how Christianity and the name of Jesus is considered such an "offensive" name, however if you were to use any other name...buddha, ghandi, dali llama (sp??), etc...that it would be perfectly fine, and that we would just be practicing "religious tolerance" (by the way, dont get him started on any type of tolerance. he hates that). Its just...its really cool. lots of info you'd never think about.
You know, it almost just reiterates that Christianity IS real...cause i mean, it says people will be persecuted for believing...and isn't that sort of what it is? why are people so afraid of a faith that is based on someone who by almost all people is considered to be one of the greatest and most kind person to ever walk the earth? How can people hate a faith in which the practices call for you to be loving towards all, and forgiving, and nice, and all that. What is so wrong with it all that people can't even stand to have their kids in school hear the name of Jesus in it? Jesus was a historical character too. I know you have radical christians that scare people and yell in their faces that they're going to hell...which is a practice i strongly DO NOT support, but all of that asside, what is so wrong with Christianity? Are people afraid of something that will give them a challenge to go against the grain? Are people just afraid of the truth?
Anyway, in a change of subject, (though not totally), i saw Boondock Saints tonight. it was a pretty interesting movie. I have to admit, though I didn't know what the story line was in the first place, that it didn't 100ive up to these "holy crap most amazing movie ever" status that everyone kept giving it. Though the idea of the movie was thought-provoking. But I guess I couldn't get past the fact that though the "saints" were killing bad people, that in general i dont think killing is right in any situation, save strictly self defense. If my mom or something were to be murdered, it wouldn't be up to me to get vengence. Thats not my job. He will get his own. there's even a verse in the Bible about that, though I dont remember where it is. I can check on that later if anyone wants me to. But yea. I mean the whole thing was an interesting concept, but in general I'd have to bank on the idea that I dont think killing people is right. One life is already lost, why take another. I'd rather them suffer in jail forever (though under my tax dollars) than to be killed. I think thats more impactful.
I have to admit I get scared though. I get scared about the idea of eternal life, and I dont know why. I guess its cause its something that in a sense you have no control over. you either are eternally in hell (this could be argued)or eternally in heaven. but i guess God says that if we give him ourselves, that he promises better things in return. I guess the human mind can't really fathom the greatness that heaven will be. and though in this world i feel like i'm gonna live forever, knowin that one day i actually will is even more surreal. anyone else ever felt that way? i wish i didn't. I've been prayin a lot to get rid of this fear of it all. I just dont understand it. I dont want to be scared of something that is supposed to be the greatest thing. Yet when the talk of eternal life or the end of the world comes up, i get freaked out and dont wanna talk about it. But then i guess i think about all the people I get to be around for forever, and thats consoling. but still. i guess its the uncertainty...i dont know where it is, what its gonna be like, who's gonna be there, what we'll do, etc.
I'm trustin God. thats all I can do.
oh well. thats all I got for tonight.
JeN