Out of the frying pan . . .
Into the fire?
I've noticed a lot of rather heated discussion going on lately in the fandom, including proclaiming that Spuffy is solely responsible for the downfall of Western Civilization, and claims that Spuffy fans ruined BtVS by influencing Joss Whedon to have things “their way”, et cetera. I'm not going to get into that, as it has been thoroughly covered/discussed in rahirah's post (where I first came across this interesting take on the 'verse) and others. All the discussion has made me think, however, about several issues.
Now, I'm not one who watches TV with an eye to hooking up Character A with Character B. Usually, it doesn't even occur to me-it's not my focus. Sure, I did notice the smoldering chemistry between Xena and Ares, but I had no investment in becoming a Xena/Ares shipper. I definitely thought they were well-matched, but a relationship with Ares wouldn't have been nearly as good for Xena's growth and development as the one she had with Gabrielle. Before jumping right in to my thoughts about Spuffy, I'd like to compare Buffy's romantic history with that of the female second lead on the show:
I loved Willow as a character. I found Willow/Oz adorable, and the 'Willow kissage' speech in the van was one of the most romantic things I'd ever heard. Willow and Oz later developed some real problems, including Oz's trust issues after he caught Willow kissing Xander, and Willow's trust issues with Veruca. Oz had a lot of things to work out that had nothing to do with Willow, and when he left, the relationship was pretty much over. Sad, but understandable. I was happy to see that Willow was able to develop a new relationship with Tara. I found both the W/O and W/T relationships interesting because M.E. took the time to develop them both (something that was sadly lacking in W/K). The viewers got to see the build-up to W/O, could pinpoint where things went wrong and understand why the break-up happened.
The friendship with Tara slowly developed over weeks, and it was quite obvious why Willow would be attracted to Tara and fall in love with her and vice versa. No one else 'got' Willow quite the way Oz, and later Tara, did. Then Oz came back. And the writers handled the situation very well.
Most of the W/O issues hadn't really been resolved, and they both knew it. Oz was her first love, and Willow obviously still had feelings for him, but she had moved on. There was closure. Of course, now that Tara is gone, there's always the possibility that in twenty years they will run into each other in Istanbul and decide they want to begin a new relationship, but then, they may never see each other again, and that would also be okay.
Oz may have been the love of her life in high school, but she was permitted to go on and develop other satisfying relationships as an adult. When Buffy died, when Willow began abusing magic, when Willow and Tara separated, when Tara was killed, M.E. didn't keep bringing Oz back to drag her back to her high school feelings. There would have been no point. Nothing had changed. The problems between Willow and Oz hadn't been resolved, and logistically couldn't possibly have been. Seth Green wasn't coming back as a regular; he had commitments elsewhere. It was impossible for them to get together and develop a workable adult relationship, so what possible purpose would be served by having Oz pop in and out of Willow's life?
Which brings us to Buffy . . .
Buffy, like Willow, fell madly in love during high school. As with W/O, the viewer was privy to the slow build-up of the relationship, could see where things went horribly wrong, and why the relationship ended. Like W/O, B/A had insurmountable problems within the relationship and Angel had issues that had nothing to do with Buffy that he needed to resolve on his own. The relationship ended, with much sadness, he left town and it should have been over.
However, unlike Willow, Buffy was never really permitted to move on, and that is the real tragedy of Spuffy. Angel may have been the love of her young life in high school, but Buffy was never allowed to go forward and develop satisfying adult relationships, because M.E. did keep bringing Angel back. Why? There was no point. Nothing had changed. The problems between Buffy and Angel would never be resolved. Angel came back from hell, as Oz came back from Tibet, and during the entire third season, it was very apparent that B/A would never be a couple. So, why continue to bring Angel back after the third season? David Boreanaz wasn't coming back as a regular, he had commitments elsewhere. It was impossible for them to actually get together and develop a workable relationship, so what possible purpose was served by having Angel popping in and out of Buffy's life post-S3? Angel had already made his comeback appearance, and he had stayed for an entire season. Thus, Buffy was never permitted to move on. Not with Riley, and not with Spike.
While Willow was allowed to grow and develop another love that did not replace, but rather, built on the love she had for Oz, Buffy stagnated - like a fly trapped in amber, unable to give or accept mature love.
With both supernatural high school loves out of the picture, whom do our heroines begin dating next? A shy girl with hidden talents as a witch, who has been psychologically abused by her family and fears that she might be a demon, and a genuinely nice, personable guy with hidden training as a demon fighter who, unbeknownst to him, has been both psychologically and physically abused by his surrogate family. Past loves, in the form of both Oz and Angel, show up. The difference? Tara knows about Oz. Willow has obviously talked with her about her relationship with Oz. When Oz begins to change, Tara isn't surprised that he's a werewolf; she's only surprised that the change is happening in the middle of the day. She understands what Oz meant to Willow, because Willow has told her.
Buffy tells Riley very little about her relationship with Angel. What little information he has, he's gotten from Buffy's friends that assume he knows the story. She doesn't talk to him about Angel, and she hasn't told him about Faith. Buffy and Riley are so busy protecting secrets from each other that they never build up the level of trust that W/T have. Thus, both Buffy and Riley feel betrayed when he inadvertently has sex with Faith-in-Buffy's-body. They both feel betrayed when Maggie Walsh tries to kill Buffy. And Riley feels betrayed that Buffy has been harboring Spike. But the real beginning of the end for B/R occurs when Angel pops in - for no real reason. Angel had just smacked her and told her to get out of his town; if all he wanted was to apologize, he should have used the phone! But . . . here he is.
Angel and Riley whale on each other for a bit and then head for Buffy's room. Riley thinks he is protecting his girlfriend from an evil monster - something he's been trained to do. Angel is . . . what? Marking his turf? Making it very plain that, although she has no place in his town, he's still the alpha male in hers? B/A was never about equality, because Angel never saw them as equals. Initially, he had the power in the relationship because he had knowledge that she didn't. He knew he was a vampire with a long and bloody soulless history; she saw him as a cute guy ten years older than she. Leaving aside the implications of personality differences and vampireism, any relationship between a 26-year-old man who spies upon a 16-year-old girl without her knowledge is inherently unequal.
There is a stand-off in Buffy's dorm room, and then - Buffy chooses Angel. From Riley's perspective, that's exactly what happened. Angel tells Buffy they have to talk; Buffy immediately tells Riley to leave - and expects him to be understanding about it. Riley says he isn't going anywhere, and he means more than just exiting the room right that moment. He's sending a message to Angel - you had your chance and you broke up with her. You broke her heart and left, but I'm here for her now and I'm not going anywhere.
Buffy rolls her eyes, signals to Angel - who smirks at Riley - and they leave together. Why? To have a banal three minute conversation in the hall? But from Riley's perspective, Buffy chose Angel over him, and this is the moment his downward spiral really began that ended with his getting suck jobs from vampire trulls.
There's not enough trust for each other or understanding of each other's world or viewpoint for Riley to be the long-haul guy. But Riley would have been the perfect rebound guy to help Buffy move on, if Buffy had been allowed to actually move on.
Look out, here comes Spike!
And my thoughts on Spike and Spuffy will be covered in another post, as this one was getting rather long and I have to go make dinner . . .
I've noticed a lot of rather heated discussion going on lately in the fandom, including proclaiming that Spuffy is solely responsible for the downfall of Western Civilization, and claims that Spuffy fans ruined BtVS by influencing Joss Whedon to have things “their way”, et cetera. I'm not going to get into that, as it has been thoroughly covered/discussed in rahirah's post (where I first came across this interesting take on the 'verse) and others. All the discussion has made me think, however, about several issues.
Now, I'm not one who watches TV with an eye to hooking up Character A with Character B. Usually, it doesn't even occur to me-it's not my focus. Sure, I did notice the smoldering chemistry between Xena and Ares, but I had no investment in becoming a Xena/Ares shipper. I definitely thought they were well-matched, but a relationship with Ares wouldn't have been nearly as good for Xena's growth and development as the one she had with Gabrielle. Before jumping right in to my thoughts about Spuffy, I'd like to compare Buffy's romantic history with that of the female second lead on the show:
I loved Willow as a character. I found Willow/Oz adorable, and the 'Willow kissage' speech in the van was one of the most romantic things I'd ever heard. Willow and Oz later developed some real problems, including Oz's trust issues after he caught Willow kissing Xander, and Willow's trust issues with Veruca. Oz had a lot of things to work out that had nothing to do with Willow, and when he left, the relationship was pretty much over. Sad, but understandable. I was happy to see that Willow was able to develop a new relationship with Tara. I found both the W/O and W/T relationships interesting because M.E. took the time to develop them both (something that was sadly lacking in W/K). The viewers got to see the build-up to W/O, could pinpoint where things went wrong and understand why the break-up happened.
The friendship with Tara slowly developed over weeks, and it was quite obvious why Willow would be attracted to Tara and fall in love with her and vice versa. No one else 'got' Willow quite the way Oz, and later Tara, did. Then Oz came back. And the writers handled the situation very well.
Most of the W/O issues hadn't really been resolved, and they both knew it. Oz was her first love, and Willow obviously still had feelings for him, but she had moved on. There was closure. Of course, now that Tara is gone, there's always the possibility that in twenty years they will run into each other in Istanbul and decide they want to begin a new relationship, but then, they may never see each other again, and that would also be okay.
Oz may have been the love of her life in high school, but she was permitted to go on and develop other satisfying relationships as an adult. When Buffy died, when Willow began abusing magic, when Willow and Tara separated, when Tara was killed, M.E. didn't keep bringing Oz back to drag her back to her high school feelings. There would have been no point. Nothing had changed. The problems between Willow and Oz hadn't been resolved, and logistically couldn't possibly have been. Seth Green wasn't coming back as a regular; he had commitments elsewhere. It was impossible for them to get together and develop a workable adult relationship, so what possible purpose would be served by having Oz pop in and out of Willow's life?
Which brings us to Buffy . . .
Buffy, like Willow, fell madly in love during high school. As with W/O, the viewer was privy to the slow build-up of the relationship, could see where things went horribly wrong, and why the relationship ended. Like W/O, B/A had insurmountable problems within the relationship and Angel had issues that had nothing to do with Buffy that he needed to resolve on his own. The relationship ended, with much sadness, he left town and it should have been over.
However, unlike Willow, Buffy was never really permitted to move on, and that is the real tragedy of Spuffy. Angel may have been the love of her young life in high school, but Buffy was never allowed to go forward and develop satisfying adult relationships, because M.E. did keep bringing Angel back. Why? There was no point. Nothing had changed. The problems between Buffy and Angel would never be resolved. Angel came back from hell, as Oz came back from Tibet, and during the entire third season, it was very apparent that B/A would never be a couple. So, why continue to bring Angel back after the third season? David Boreanaz wasn't coming back as a regular, he had commitments elsewhere. It was impossible for them to actually get together and develop a workable relationship, so what possible purpose was served by having Angel popping in and out of Buffy's life post-S3? Angel had already made his comeback appearance, and he had stayed for an entire season. Thus, Buffy was never permitted to move on. Not with Riley, and not with Spike.
While Willow was allowed to grow and develop another love that did not replace, but rather, built on the love she had for Oz, Buffy stagnated - like a fly trapped in amber, unable to give or accept mature love.
With both supernatural high school loves out of the picture, whom do our heroines begin dating next? A shy girl with hidden talents as a witch, who has been psychologically abused by her family and fears that she might be a demon, and a genuinely nice, personable guy with hidden training as a demon fighter who, unbeknownst to him, has been both psychologically and physically abused by his surrogate family. Past loves, in the form of both Oz and Angel, show up. The difference? Tara knows about Oz. Willow has obviously talked with her about her relationship with Oz. When Oz begins to change, Tara isn't surprised that he's a werewolf; she's only surprised that the change is happening in the middle of the day. She understands what Oz meant to Willow, because Willow has told her.
Buffy tells Riley very little about her relationship with Angel. What little information he has, he's gotten from Buffy's friends that assume he knows the story. She doesn't talk to him about Angel, and she hasn't told him about Faith. Buffy and Riley are so busy protecting secrets from each other that they never build up the level of trust that W/T have. Thus, both Buffy and Riley feel betrayed when he inadvertently has sex with Faith-in-Buffy's-body. They both feel betrayed when Maggie Walsh tries to kill Buffy. And Riley feels betrayed that Buffy has been harboring Spike. But the real beginning of the end for B/R occurs when Angel pops in - for no real reason. Angel had just smacked her and told her to get out of his town; if all he wanted was to apologize, he should have used the phone! But . . . here he is.
Angel and Riley whale on each other for a bit and then head for Buffy's room. Riley thinks he is protecting his girlfriend from an evil monster - something he's been trained to do. Angel is . . . what? Marking his turf? Making it very plain that, although she has no place in his town, he's still the alpha male in hers? B/A was never about equality, because Angel never saw them as equals. Initially, he had the power in the relationship because he had knowledge that she didn't. He knew he was a vampire with a long and bloody soulless history; she saw him as a cute guy ten years older than she. Leaving aside the implications of personality differences and vampireism, any relationship between a 26-year-old man who spies upon a 16-year-old girl without her knowledge is inherently unequal.
There is a stand-off in Buffy's dorm room, and then - Buffy chooses Angel. From Riley's perspective, that's exactly what happened. Angel tells Buffy they have to talk; Buffy immediately tells Riley to leave - and expects him to be understanding about it. Riley says he isn't going anywhere, and he means more than just exiting the room right that moment. He's sending a message to Angel - you had your chance and you broke up with her. You broke her heart and left, but I'm here for her now and I'm not going anywhere.
Buffy rolls her eyes, signals to Angel - who smirks at Riley - and they leave together. Why? To have a banal three minute conversation in the hall? But from Riley's perspective, Buffy chose Angel over him, and this is the moment his downward spiral really began that ended with his getting suck jobs from vampire trulls.
There's not enough trust for each other or understanding of each other's world or viewpoint for Riley to be the long-haul guy. But Riley would have been the perfect rebound guy to help Buffy move on, if Buffy had been allowed to actually move on.
Look out, here comes Spike!
And my thoughts on Spike and Spuffy will be covered in another post, as this one was getting rather long and I have to go make dinner . . .