2 am I should be sleeping.

[spaz00]

Once more I jump into something with foot firmly in mouth. I tried to explain to Rob my mood for the past couple of days. Apparently I've been quieter than usual. which had him thinking I was upset about something else going on. (I have no clue why.) I explained my current situation about the envy and my beating myself up over it. which got a confused look from him. I added it wasn't just him but others as well. (which is true Ritual really stung.) I also explained that I wasn't asking them to change anything. (Side note. I explained this to Crystal, and she wanted to get me on a dating site fast.) Now what I was able to get through to Rob is I'm not ready to date yet. As I'm still getting used to this no parents and becoming a person thing. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt a little to see others being happy and not sure if I deserve the same. He said it wasn't going to change how they acted.(Which to me is good, if they are happy they deserve to show it.) I'll get over it I just need to deal with some shit first. Like deciding what it is I want.

I'm not fighting some things anymore I know in the world of sexual identities I'm a bear. (big hairy kinda scary on the outside. Yet soft and gentle most of the time on the inside.) I'm also bi with possible leaning towards flat out homosexual. (not sure yet.) but I think this is all moot as I'm also a Virgin. (but hey what do I know.)

That's all for now. As I sort it out peace and love.