On the Subject of Ever-Changing Sexuality
So I've been thinking about my slowly but ever-changing sexuality.
At the moment, I'm pretty much stuck being single, but I don't mind it at all. I sure as hell can't afford to work less than 30 hours per week at the rate that I'm contributing into my 401(k), so that leaves me with hardly any time to do anything. I usually get two days off per week, and both of those days are taken up with either sleeping all day or doing some shopping. Almost no social life. And here's where you come in, saying, "Hey, working at a grocery store gives you a social life because you interact with thousands of people every day!" And although that's true, it's not the kind of social life I like. I'm the kind of person who would rather have a few really really good friends instead of thousands of acquaintances.
So that leaves me with sort of a problem when it comes to meeting potential significant others. I don't get to meet anyone truly interesting; rather, I don't know if I meet anybody truly interesting because I don't get to know anything else about anybody other than on-the-surface small talk.
But I don't mind.
I'm thinking I'm more asexual now than ever. The thought of interacting with another person in a sexual manner is in itself a turn-off for me. Well, I'm not sure if I can say that it's a turn-off. I'm thinking that I'm in the presence of another person while not wearing any clothing, I'd be so nervous that I won't be able to do anything as well as I could. I think that's the reason why I've never really "finished" myself while having sex. I've only successfully masturbated once in front of one person, and that took a lot of effort. It was difficult and pretty awkward. But now, I don't have any desire to do anything like that with anybody. Maybe this is what it's like when teenage hormones stop raging.
But the feeling is great, whenever I get the motivation or desire to do it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just don't feel like I'm capable of doing it with anybody.
The only exception to this is probably my occasional desire to suck a guy off. That's one thing I do absolutely love to do. Even though I've only done it about three times, it's such a great feeling. I don't know why I like it, but I just like it. It's fun and I like having something there in my mouth.
I'm kinda curious as to what it's like with a girl. Hmm.
I guess that's all I have to say on this subject.
5:14am
At the moment, I'm pretty much stuck being single, but I don't mind it at all. I sure as hell can't afford to work less than 30 hours per week at the rate that I'm contributing into my 401(k), so that leaves me with hardly any time to do anything. I usually get two days off per week, and both of those days are taken up with either sleeping all day or doing some shopping. Almost no social life. And here's where you come in, saying, "Hey, working at a grocery store gives you a social life because you interact with thousands of people every day!" And although that's true, it's not the kind of social life I like. I'm the kind of person who would rather have a few really really good friends instead of thousands of acquaintances.
So that leaves me with sort of a problem when it comes to meeting potential significant others. I don't get to meet anyone truly interesting; rather, I don't know if I meet anybody truly interesting because I don't get to know anything else about anybody other than on-the-surface small talk.
But I don't mind.
I'm thinking I'm more asexual now than ever. The thought of interacting with another person in a sexual manner is in itself a turn-off for me. Well, I'm not sure if I can say that it's a turn-off. I'm thinking that I'm in the presence of another person while not wearing any clothing, I'd be so nervous that I won't be able to do anything as well as I could. I think that's the reason why I've never really "finished" myself while having sex. I've only successfully masturbated once in front of one person, and that took a lot of effort. It was difficult and pretty awkward. But now, I don't have any desire to do anything like that with anybody. Maybe this is what it's like when teenage hormones stop raging.
But the feeling is great, whenever I get the motivation or desire to do it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I just don't feel like I'm capable of doing it with anybody.
The only exception to this is probably my occasional desire to suck a guy off. That's one thing I do absolutely love to do. Even though I've only done it about three times, it's such a great feeling. I don't know why I like it, but I just like it. It's fun and I like having something there in my mouth.
I'm kinda curious as to what it's like with a girl. Hmm.
I guess that's all I have to say on this subject.
5:14am