Tesseract, Wormhole, Whatever the F**K You Call It...
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Okay. Every time I need to go to the bathroom here at work, I head to the 4th floor. "Why the 4th floor?" you ask? Because that's where the Executive Offices are and, as we all know, Executive like clean, well-appointed bathrooms.
The weird thing about the 4th floor Men's Room is this:
On most days (weekends included,) sitting on the ledge in the larger of the two bathroom stalls is a newspaper that will be five to seven days old.. no more or less than 5-7. It's very odd. The paper is always new like it was just purchased and always complete.
Today (after getting less than stellar sleep and working a bunch of hours between here and the coffeE place) I had myself fairly convinced that this particular restroom is encased in some sort of time-bubble that rocks back and forth in a time-stream 120 to 168 hours behind the rest of the world. I mean, when you think about it, unless you're yelling from the crapper to someone outside the door of the restroom, you can't REALLY prove you didn't just go back in time, and if your only evidence is the newspaper next to you, then you almost have to accept that it's a possibility, don't you?
This was my thinking today, anyway. That is, until I realiZed that I could just as easily bring my cellphone in and see what it says, since it gets its time from an outside signal.
But then I thought,
"Why ruin the mystery?"
and then
"I don't think I want to touch my phone after I wiped my butt."
and finally
"I'm so Fu*king GLAD that I don't talk out loud to myself!"
After that, I washed my hands and traveled back to the present.
It's been a straaaaaaaaaange week....
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Okay. Every time I need to go to the bathroom here at work, I head to the 4th floor. "Why the 4th floor?" you ask? Because that's where the Executive Offices are and, as we all know, Executive like clean, well-appointed bathrooms.
The weird thing about the 4th floor Men's Room is this:
On most days (weekends included,) sitting on the ledge in the larger of the two bathroom stalls is a newspaper that will be five to seven days old.. no more or less than 5-7. It's very odd. The paper is always new like it was just purchased and always complete.
Today (after getting less than stellar sleep and working a bunch of hours between here and the coffeE place) I had myself fairly convinced that this particular restroom is encased in some sort of time-bubble that rocks back and forth in a time-stream 120 to 168 hours behind the rest of the world. I mean, when you think about it, unless you're yelling from the crapper to someone outside the door of the restroom, you can't REALLY prove you didn't just go back in time, and if your only evidence is the newspaper next to you, then you almost have to accept that it's a possibility, don't you?
This was my thinking today, anyway. That is, until I realiZed that I could just as easily bring my cellphone in and see what it says, since it gets its time from an outside signal.
But then I thought,
"Why ruin the mystery?"
and then
"I don't think I want to touch my phone after I wiped my butt."
and finally
"I'm so Fu*king GLAD that I don't talk out loud to myself!"
After that, I washed my hands and traveled back to the present.
It's been a straaaaaaaaaange week....
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