My Sex (also on MySpace)
I need to say something about my sexuality. At the peek of hormonal influence, I came out of the closet as a bisexual. That was during my 7th Grade year, 1997. The basis of my homosexuality derives from the gay male icon of that time. Politically active and proudly gay, I had the infamous “gay voice” and lisp and I wasn’t afraid to break gender expectations. Currently, too, I get along great with the gals and many gay stereotypes apply for me as they do with the gay male icon.
I feel that subconsciously I molded myself to this icon because it was an image, a type of person which people were aware of and moderately comfortable with. If I would have projected a self that wasn’t so easily identifiable or agreeable, they wouldn’t have accepted me. At least that’s what I thought. In retrospect, I see that I was the one whom needed the label(s.) I needed an easy, shallow understanding of who I was to build off of and grow.
When I was discovering and developing my sexuality in High School I went through two major processes. At the beginning of my High School career I came out of the closet as a gay. With very narrow sexual options, I channeled my sexual energy into defining my self as a gay person. I put myself through a rigorous “Homosexuality: 101,” including gay-themed movies, books, websites and light activism. Within a couple years my sexuality was accepted by my parents, school and even my inner-judge.
In latter High School my sexuality was more defined and stable and my sex-drive began to pick up. Unfortunately, my sexual options were just as narrow, but at this point I had a wider friend base to offer meaningful companionship. My friends at the time were almost exclusively straight girls with mild libidos. They sought maturity and understanding in a relationship. In emulation, I joined them and it was almost as if we held high expectations because we didn’t want to be in a relationship. We weren’t ready or interested. Most guys near us were practically brothers or un-datable in our eyes for a number of reasons. In my case, they were all only un-datable for one obvious reason. I graduated happily and learned how to interact with members of the same sex, or at least the straight ones… most of them… the mature ones.
I’ve had relationships but none worth mentioning. I’ve moved away from my defining homosexuality increasingly and I’ve been growing toward becoming a more complete, well-rounded individual. My libido remains relatively low, though seemingly incontrollable at times if I keep it pent-up. I figure I’ll be with someone when I’m ready.
I imagine a blend of distance, cuddling, kink and comfort when I’m with him… or her.
I feel that subconsciously I molded myself to this icon because it was an image, a type of person which people were aware of and moderately comfortable with. If I would have projected a self that wasn’t so easily identifiable or agreeable, they wouldn’t have accepted me. At least that’s what I thought. In retrospect, I see that I was the one whom needed the label(s.) I needed an easy, shallow understanding of who I was to build off of and grow.
When I was discovering and developing my sexuality in High School I went through two major processes. At the beginning of my High School career I came out of the closet as a gay. With very narrow sexual options, I channeled my sexual energy into defining my self as a gay person. I put myself through a rigorous “Homosexuality: 101,” including gay-themed movies, books, websites and light activism. Within a couple years my sexuality was accepted by my parents, school and even my inner-judge.
In latter High School my sexuality was more defined and stable and my sex-drive began to pick up. Unfortunately, my sexual options were just as narrow, but at this point I had a wider friend base to offer meaningful companionship. My friends at the time were almost exclusively straight girls with mild libidos. They sought maturity and understanding in a relationship. In emulation, I joined them and it was almost as if we held high expectations because we didn’t want to be in a relationship. We weren’t ready or interested. Most guys near us were practically brothers or un-datable in our eyes for a number of reasons. In my case, they were all only un-datable for one obvious reason. I graduated happily and learned how to interact with members of the same sex, or at least the straight ones… most of them… the mature ones.
I’ve had relationships but none worth mentioning. I’ve moved away from my defining homosexuality increasingly and I’ve been growing toward becoming a more complete, well-rounded individual. My libido remains relatively low, though seemingly incontrollable at times if I keep it pent-up. I figure I’ll be with someone when I’m ready.
I imagine a blend of distance, cuddling, kink and comfort when I’m with him… or her.