Fic: Shadows (Ch 6/?) (Cara/Kahlan)
Title: Shadows (6/?)
Author: soulsearchr
Characters/ Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG 14
Warnings: Adult Situations, violence, angst and feelings
Disclaimer: "Legend of the Seeker", its characters and situations from the show are property of ABC Studios, Disney, et al, as well as Terry Goodkind. This story can't be sold or used for profit.
Summary: This is my first attempt at fanfic of any kind, so please bear with me. Of course, it involves our two girls and some of the trouble they can get into. Oh... and some feelings along the way?
A/N: Chapter 6 deals with the aftermath of the girls’ decision.
Additional A/N: Special thanks to my friend, bobojr for betaing this and putting up with me while I struggled with a bit of writer’s block.
Chapter 6
The scent of musky oak leaves and damp moss slowly filled Kahlan’s nostrils. The sound of birds happily lifting their voices to the warmth of the sun filled her ears while a tranquil smile still painted her beautiful freckled face. As she cracked her eyes to greet the light of the day, she noticed the space beside her was empty. Suddenly alarmed, she sat up quickly surveying her surroundings. The Mord’Sith was nowhere in sight. Kahlan spotted the open journey book lying a few feet from her, with what looked like fresh writing on its tawny pages.
She leaned over, and as she reached for the book the blanket drifted down exposing her back to the cool morning air. A slight shiver ran through her as she pulled the book to her. She brought it to her lap as she pulled the wayward bedroll back around her. On the first page she saw a hastily scrawled note from Richard. ‘Still no sign of Rahl and Nicci. Either they’ve changed their course, or they’re in a big hurry. Is everything alright? We haven’t heard from you. Tell Kahlan I love her. -Richard’
The second page of the journey book held the return message in Cara’s handwriting. 'Two quads of Mord’Sith attacked us last night. Kahlan is fine. Continuing on to Aydindril. I’ll tell her.’ The instant Kahlan read the last line she knew that Cara had left the book there for her to find. She knew it was the Mord’Sith’s way of giving her the message without having to actually tell her. A pang of guilt pierced through Kahlan as she looked at those words again.
She found Cara, back against a tree, staring into the depths of the forest, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Her red clad figure made a striking contrast against the morning sunlight filtering through the hardwoods. The beams radiating from her golden hair nearly took Kahlan’s breath away. She approached the Mord’Sith carefully, unsure of what she was going to say. As her voice echoed she saw the blonde stiffen slightly. “Cara, last night was…”
“Last night should never have happened!” The Mord’Sith snarled as she straightened to look the brunette in the eye. The anger in her eyes as she spoke the words made Kahlan take a step back. Cara’s gloved hand slipped to her agiel. For a split second it looked as if she would pull the weapon from its holster, but just as quickly she turned away from the Mother Confessor’s astonished gaze, preparing to retreat.
“Oh no you don’t!” Kahlan grabbed the blonde’s shoulder and forcefully spun her back around. “You don’t get to say something like that and then just walk away.” Her voice was as hard as the steel in her daggers. She glared at the Mord’Sith with icy blue eyes.
“Let go of me,” the warning in her voice was clear, as Cara ground out the words. She pulled free of the Confessor’s grasp and took a step back. The fury in her heart threatened to erupt into a sunburst of pure rage. Her hand gripped tightly to the agiel at her side.
Kahlan stepped in front of the blonde just as she began to move toward the camp again. Her own temper flared in her eyes as she looked into the angry green eyes of her would be lover. “I don’t understand you,” the Confessor forced her tone to be calm and even, but all the while her blood was boiling. She watched Cara closely, trying desperately to understand the woman’s fierce reaction. But the Mord’Sith had steeled her expression and it was completely unreadable, even to Kahlan who could usually see through her cold mask of indifference.
The blonde looked away and simply said, “It meant nothing.” Then she pushed past the brunette and stalked off toward their camp, leaving the Confessor standing alone with only her guilt and confusion for company.
The rest of the day was spent traveling in agonizing, bitter silence. Neither woman would break the torturous reticence, let alone even chance a look at the other. The morning dragged into late afternoon and finally the waning light forced them to stop for the night. They made camp and ate without a word. Each found a place for their bedroll on opposite sides of the blazing fire. Even the warmth of the glowing fire could not melt the frigid atmosphere that encompassed the two women. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them slept.
Dawn came and the previous day’s solitude was repeated. They had walked into the early afternoon with only a scant few words between them. When the hardwoods were replaced with the softer but thicker cover of the pines and the forest seemed lost in shadows Kahlan decided she’d had enough. She stopped beside a particularly thick spruce and refused to take another step. Cara had traveled several feet before she realized the Confessor was no longer in motion. She turned on her heels and took in the woman in white standing tall and proud, staring right at her. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath as she moved toward Kahlan.
“We need to keep moving, Mother Confessor. We need to get you to Aydindril,” she snarled.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not until you start talking to me.” The brunette folded her arms across her chest and shot an obstinate look at the Mord’Sith.
The blonde returned the stubborn glare with one of her own. “There’s nothing more to say.” Cara turned her back to the Confessor and took a few steps. “Coming?” she called over her shoulder.
“No.” Kahlan stood her ground and watched as the blonde halted at her words. “Why are you doing this, Cara? How can you be so cold? Don’t you care about anything?”
“What am I doing, Kahlan?” She spoke the name as if it were a bitter root. “What do you want me to say? What we did… should never have happened,” her voice cracked slightly. “Don’t YOU feel anything, Mother Confessor? Doesn’t it bother you that we betrayed Lor… Richard? The man that you’re supposed to marry. You remember him, don‘t you?” Cara was shouting now, her hand resting instinctively on her agiel. She didn’t turn around to look at the face of the Confessor. She just stood there, fist clenching around her weapon firmly in an effort to regain her lost control. She closed her eyes and tried to breathe evenly and as her willpower raged with her emotions, she felt a hand gently grasp her shoulder.
“Cara…,” was all Kahlan could whisper through the tears that had begun to stream down her face. The blonde’s sharp words had cut her to the core. All the torturous emotions she had been dealing with came rushing at her all at once. She now understood the reasons for the Mord’Sith’s silence and it broke her heart to know that the guilt she had been feeling was shared by this woman who had come to mean so much to her. It made her chest constrict with pain.
The blonde pulled from the grasp of the Confessor and began to walk once more. “We need to go,” she announced in a tone so cold it made a shiver run down Kahlan’s spine.
The Confessor shook her head and followed the Mord’Sith through the trees. They traveled once again in solitude until the darkness made it impossible to travel any further. Each woman wordlessly fulfilled their tasks and were soon lying on opposite sides of the fire once again.
“Spirits!” Kahlan started at the sound of the blonde’s exasperated voice. “That man is so irrational sometimes.” Cara stood next to the dwindling fire, one hand on her hip and the other holding the open journey book. A look of pure disgust encompassed her face.
“What is it?” Kahlan ventured, trying not to appear too concerned.
“Richard and Zedd have decided to give up on their search for Nicci and Rahl. They’re on their way to Aydindril and intend to meet us on the way. It seems the Lord Rahl does not trust my judgment,” she said with disdain.
Alarm raced through Kahlan’s thoughts. How would she even be able to look at Richard, let alone talk to him after what she had done. What they had done. The guilt hammered at her heart pounding away at her defenses. Her throat felt tight as she fought to control the swell of emotions surrounding her. Confusion and guilt gave way to anger in the end. “What are they thinking? They need to find out what those two are up to… especially now,” she growled.
“Apparently, your betrothed has to see with his own eyes that you are alright,” Cara sneered. “His Mord’Sith’s words aren’t good enough.”
“I’m not sure I blame him,” Kahlan muttered under her breath, anger swelling at the blonde’s bitter remarks. She glared at the Mord’Sith for a few moments longer and then moved toward her. “Let me have the book. I’ll straighten this out.”
“Oh, so now my words aren’t good enough for the Mother Confessor either?” Cara shouted, the fury and resentment building in her tone.
“No. Apparently they’re not,” the brunette replied, scowling at the other woman.
The blonde’s face grew crimson as she threw the book to the ground and stormed off into the darkness of their surroundings. Cara stomped noisily through the thick undergrowth of vines and bushes. Guilt and shame and something unnamed spurred her on into the shadows of the night. Anger she knew, but it seemed when she directed it toward Kahlan it felt wrong. Confusion taunted her as she continued to move deeper into the forest. She didn’t stop until she had put a good amount of distance between her and the Confessor.
Kahlan finished her message to Richard, strongly urging them to reconsider and continue their search for the two adversaries. She had written that she was fine and there was no need to give up on their mission for such a selfish reason. As she closed the journey book and laid it to the side, her eyes swept to the darkness around her. The fire had nearly extinguished itself so she gathered an armful of wood and set to the task of rekindling the blaze. When the flames burned brightly again, she settled back onto her bedroll and stared at the stars intermittently twinkling in the night sky. As her mind raced on all of the emotions swirling in her heart, her thoughts always seemed to return to a certain obstinate blonde.
Morning came quickly once the brunette had finally surrendered to sleep. When she looked around she saw no signs of the other woman and no sign that she had even returned last night. She hadn’t expected the blonde to stay away all night, but she wasn’t surprised at the audacity of the stubborn woman. When mid-morning came and there was still no sign of Cara, her initial anger was replaced by a nagging uneasiness. The blonde woman may be arrogant and stubborn, but she was not one to shirk her duties. And Kahlan was well aware that the Mord’Sith considered one of her primary duties to be the safety of the Mother Confessor. Fear began to creep into her mind, causing her to question her earlier comments.
The Confessor knew the blonde was more than capable of taking care of herself, but it didn’t stop the anxiety from building up or the guilt from winding its way into her heart. The mere thought of something bad happening to Cara made the brunette cringe. She needed a plan of action. She needed to find the woman who could cause so much turmoil in her soul. She quickly and efficiently began to pack up their camp. Kahlan took a last sweeping look at the site and then headed into the thick growth right where the blonde had entered the night before.