(drabble) photosynthesis

Apr 22, 2011 17:51

photosynthesis
yuri-centric
pg-13, 396w
Yuri will never tell anyone this, but sometimes the spotlight terrifies her.

a/n; trying to get my muse back ;~;

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Yuri will never tell anyone this, but sometimes the spotlight terrifies her.

It's the way the light burns through the thin material of her outfit, permeating her skin with a warmth that isn't real - that she knows isn't real - lulling her into false sense of security, before tearing it away from her with a vicious comment, a quick dismissal (not pretty enough, not thin enough - just not what we're looking for) or an order from management (sing, dance, act - be better).

The spotlight leaves her naked in the worst possible way, stripped of her defences and left to fend for herself against the judgment on the faces of people she will never know.

Yuri isn't strong enough to brave the words that are hurled at her, not like Jessica and Yoona are. But she can pretend she is.

No one can tell she is hurting, not when her smile is bright and brilliant (veneers will do wonders), not when her hips are cocked in a way that exude sexiness and confidence (she doesn't feel the bones underneath her fingertips, instead she focuses on the skin she can pinch and calculates how many lunches she needs to skip to lose it), not when her hair is glossy (never black, that's far too boring) and her eyes dark and smoky (it's harder to see the fear that flicker in them every so often).

Yuri puts on her shield, painstakingly paints it on with every stroke and hope no one sees that it's only canvas, not the steel that everyone has on. Nothing touches her, not when she won't let anything come close. Shes smiles and sways her hips and never misses a beat, but there is a wall with only a window to look through, because Yuri knows better to put up a door that anyone can knock down.

She might not be as strong as the others (canvas will never last as long as metal, not when this industry can hack through the toughest materials) but that doesn't mean she can't protect herself for as long as possible.

So Yuri holds her head up high, tosses her hair over her shoulder and stands there with her girls - girls that are stronger, harder, better - and pretends like the spotlight doesn't burn her skin.

She knows she won't last for long.

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fandom; girls' generation, fic; drabble

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