(oneshot) don't even leave a trace behind
don't even leave a trace behind
doojoon/gina, junhyung/gina
pg-13, 819w
gina fights her battles on her own, but she's starting to run low on supplies.
-
"i'm sure if i saw you somewhere in ten years down the road, my heart would still speed up a bit"
doojoon leaves her with this, a rueful smile playing on his lips and the ghost of his fingertips pressed against her cheeks. gina doesn't remember much after that, just a collective blur of tears and aching chests, gasping for air because he took it away from her when he left.
her heart isn't broken, but splintered, and gina finds it harder to fill in the cracks than to throw it away and start afresh with a new one.
but gina tries anyway, because she's stronger than this. she's not going to give up just because he did. gina has fought for herself all these years, with four other girls and then by herself, so it's easy to pick up her weapons (her voice, her smile, and reluctantly, her body) and fight her own war.
she comes out bloodied and bruised, but her hair is blonde and she's filming her debut music video tonight, so gina likes to think she's won.
except not really. not when doojoon is supposed to play her boyfriend who leaves her for unknown reasons (it's called deja vu, gina inwardly grimaces), not when she has to tangle her fingers and legs and feet with his, not when she has to look into his eyes and pretend she's in love.
gina hates herself the moment their eyes lock (the director wanted a different angle) and feels her heart stuttering despite her telling it not to.
but gina pushes on, ignores the way doojoon looks at her with those sorry eyes (she doesn't need pity - doesn't want it - and it takes everything in her not to throw it back at him because look where i am now, i don't need you to be something, i never did) and hits the moves even harder during the choreography shots.
junhyung is watching her, gina knows. she can feel his heavy-lidded gaze, curious if not intrigued. she knows he knows their story - doojoon and gina, they would whisper in the hallways, the ones that should've worked but didn't - but junhyung has never been the type to listen to gossip.
junhyung is all cool stares and fiery words and determination pulsing in every fibre of his being. everything about him is a contradiction - he projects confidence in the timbre of his voice but his legs are shaking - and gina wonders where he gets his strength from.
and if she can have some of it, because she's running low in supplies and the more doojoon touches her, the more the fight in her gets sapped away.
she makes it through though, a polite smile and thank you for all your hard work, doojoon-sshi before leaving for her dressing room, hands trembling.
gina sits perched on the edge of her chair, spine straight and rigid because she thinks if she doesn't concentrate on controlling her muscles, she might collapse from all the dead weight in her chest.
there is a knock, and then the door opens enough for her to see junhyung leaning against the frame, watching her reflection and not saying a word. gina fixes him her blankest, most unreadable expression, eyes meeting in the mirror almost defiantly, as if challenging him to say something - something about this twisted, broken thing she's caught herself in between and is too tired to battle her way out of.
instead, he smirks, lazy and smug, and something flares up in her stomach, a kind of burn she hasn't felt in a long time. he cocks his hips just so, just so it hits the doorframe, and gina sucks in a breath.
"i'll see you at practice, noona." he drawls, low and husky enough for gina to almost forget about a boy who made her heart splintered and cracked.
the operative word is almost, gina reminds herself when the burn in the pit of her stomach doesn't go away.
but that doesn't stop junhyung from pressing her against a wall and kiss her until she sees stars. gina doesn't even try to fight it - simply melts into his arms and curls her fingers around the nape of his neck.
it's been a long time since she could set down the heavy weight of her armour.
(gina's not stupid, and neither is junhyung.
they both know that doojoon will always be lingering, physically and not. he is something - someone - that will always be in the back of their minds.
but sometimes junhyung catches her wrist in a way that shouldn't be gentle but is, circles his fingers around her pulse and looks at her, like she is beautiful and wondrous, like he wants her - nothing more, nothing less.
like she is everything he didn't know he wanted.
and gina feels the cracks filling up.)
-
doojoon/gina, junhyung/gina
pg-13, 819w
gina fights her battles on her own, but she's starting to run low on supplies.
-
"i'm sure if i saw you somewhere in ten years down the road, my heart would still speed up a bit"
doojoon leaves her with this, a rueful smile playing on his lips and the ghost of his fingertips pressed against her cheeks. gina doesn't remember much after that, just a collective blur of tears and aching chests, gasping for air because he took it away from her when he left.
her heart isn't broken, but splintered, and gina finds it harder to fill in the cracks than to throw it away and start afresh with a new one.
but gina tries anyway, because she's stronger than this. she's not going to give up just because he did. gina has fought for herself all these years, with four other girls and then by herself, so it's easy to pick up her weapons (her voice, her smile, and reluctantly, her body) and fight her own war.
she comes out bloodied and bruised, but her hair is blonde and she's filming her debut music video tonight, so gina likes to think she's won.
except not really. not when doojoon is supposed to play her boyfriend who leaves her for unknown reasons (it's called deja vu, gina inwardly grimaces), not when she has to tangle her fingers and legs and feet with his, not when she has to look into his eyes and pretend she's in love.
gina hates herself the moment their eyes lock (the director wanted a different angle) and feels her heart stuttering despite her telling it not to.
but gina pushes on, ignores the way doojoon looks at her with those sorry eyes (she doesn't need pity - doesn't want it - and it takes everything in her not to throw it back at him because look where i am now, i don't need you to be something, i never did) and hits the moves even harder during the choreography shots.
junhyung is watching her, gina knows. she can feel his heavy-lidded gaze, curious if not intrigued. she knows he knows their story - doojoon and gina, they would whisper in the hallways, the ones that should've worked but didn't - but junhyung has never been the type to listen to gossip.
junhyung is all cool stares and fiery words and determination pulsing in every fibre of his being. everything about him is a contradiction - he projects confidence in the timbre of his voice but his legs are shaking - and gina wonders where he gets his strength from.
and if she can have some of it, because she's running low in supplies and the more doojoon touches her, the more the fight in her gets sapped away.
she makes it through though, a polite smile and thank you for all your hard work, doojoon-sshi before leaving for her dressing room, hands trembling.
gina sits perched on the edge of her chair, spine straight and rigid because she thinks if she doesn't concentrate on controlling her muscles, she might collapse from all the dead weight in her chest.
there is a knock, and then the door opens enough for her to see junhyung leaning against the frame, watching her reflection and not saying a word. gina fixes him her blankest, most unreadable expression, eyes meeting in the mirror almost defiantly, as if challenging him to say something - something about this twisted, broken thing she's caught herself in between and is too tired to battle her way out of.
instead, he smirks, lazy and smug, and something flares up in her stomach, a kind of burn she hasn't felt in a long time. he cocks his hips just so, just so it hits the doorframe, and gina sucks in a breath.
"i'll see you at practice, noona." he drawls, low and husky enough for gina to almost forget about a boy who made her heart splintered and cracked.
the operative word is almost, gina reminds herself when the burn in the pit of her stomach doesn't go away.
but that doesn't stop junhyung from pressing her against a wall and kiss her until she sees stars. gina doesn't even try to fight it - simply melts into his arms and curls her fingers around the nape of his neck.
it's been a long time since she could set down the heavy weight of her armour.
(gina's not stupid, and neither is junhyung.
they both know that doojoon will always be lingering, physically and not. he is something - someone - that will always be in the back of their minds.
but sometimes junhyung catches her wrist in a way that shouldn't be gentle but is, circles his fingers around her pulse and looks at her, like she is beautiful and wondrous, like he wants her - nothing more, nothing less.
like she is everything he didn't know he wanted.
and gina feels the cracks filling up.)
-