painfully silent
today marks the first service i ever attended in God knows how long... its also the first time i had a holy communion in God knows how long... honestly speaking... that kind of sense of familiarity is flowing back all of a sudden... gushes in like as if a strong wave hit me... it sure felt a lot... but i guess its good to be back there again... hopefully this feeling is gonna see me thru from now onwards... to be faithful in following His footsteps...
anyway things have been deteoriating i guess as far as i m concerned... and maybe its the begining of a new chapter... the chapter whereby the old gets forgotten and ignored... and the embracing of a new coming of a new life... hmm so the old just gets chucked and ignored... and embracing the new with slow and careful steps... but my main concern is the old being chucked and ignored... heh its painfully silent... but wat the heck... i guess it doesn matter anymore... ive never dreamt that things will turn out this way... i guess this is one of those rare moments my dreams turn out in the exact opposite...
had a nice chat with a fren on my way back home... told me a lot of stuff... abt God and stuff... he too am experiencing something simliar to my situation.. and the time frame is abt the same that it happened... and so im actually quite amazed how he has turned over a new leaf... like last time we guys just some self centered apes ... now its all different for him as far as im concerned... God fearing and stuff... and a few of his sentences just struck me... real hard... he told me this... God actually will do anyhtnig and evertyhing to just to catch our attention... so God is doing this to get me back... and obviously he succeeded... the next thing that struck me... is that all negative thoughts come from the devil... the devil will attack ur weakest link to try and get u away from God... which is somehting i wn wanna happen... maybe for a while the devil did succeed... but heck.. God is with me now... the one more thing tat struck me... in order to be completely surrendering evertyhing to Him... i need to first calm down... i always thought i was cool abt everything... but i guess i haven been... i still have those short outburst of anger and disbelieve every single night... though short and often forgotten... but i cant deny is still there... maybe i jsut need to work much harder to drive those feeling out of my life... then completely surrender these stuffs to God... in exchange for the peace that God has promised me...
one more thing that made me thought alot... as of always been told to me a million times by countless number of ppl... if God puts me through this test... He will definitely provide u enough to pass this test... and that is only if u ask Him to give u... the test comes in a 2 fold thingie... first He wans u to ask for it... to open urself to ask God for it... next is to test ur patience and ur lvl of faith... and i guess in all this ive nothing to loose in trusting Him.. so i guess the only way out now is to calm myself down... forget everything... and move on and trust in the Lord... things may turn out fine and well someday...
and 3 days of impulse left me with a new gf... quite happy abt it.. haha shud be having a good time with her soon
in the meantime... indulge in my ever piling work... an act of stupidity to overload things... a sacrifice tat i made and now in a little regret... but wats the point... do it and accomplish it
anyway things have been deteoriating i guess as far as i m concerned... and maybe its the begining of a new chapter... the chapter whereby the old gets forgotten and ignored... and the embracing of a new coming of a new life... hmm so the old just gets chucked and ignored... and embracing the new with slow and careful steps... but my main concern is the old being chucked and ignored... heh its painfully silent... but wat the heck... i guess it doesn matter anymore... ive never dreamt that things will turn out this way... i guess this is one of those rare moments my dreams turn out in the exact opposite...
had a nice chat with a fren on my way back home... told me a lot of stuff... abt God and stuff... he too am experiencing something simliar to my situation.. and the time frame is abt the same that it happened... and so im actually quite amazed how he has turned over a new leaf... like last time we guys just some self centered apes ... now its all different for him as far as im concerned... God fearing and stuff... and a few of his sentences just struck me... real hard... he told me this... God actually will do anyhtnig and evertyhing to just to catch our attention... so God is doing this to get me back... and obviously he succeeded... the next thing that struck me... is that all negative thoughts come from the devil... the devil will attack ur weakest link to try and get u away from God... which is somehting i wn wanna happen... maybe for a while the devil did succeed... but heck.. God is with me now... the one more thing tat struck me... in order to be completely surrendering evertyhing to Him... i need to first calm down... i always thought i was cool abt everything... but i guess i haven been... i still have those short outburst of anger and disbelieve every single night... though short and often forgotten... but i cant deny is still there... maybe i jsut need to work much harder to drive those feeling out of my life... then completely surrender these stuffs to God... in exchange for the peace that God has promised me...
one more thing that made me thought alot... as of always been told to me a million times by countless number of ppl... if God puts me through this test... He will definitely provide u enough to pass this test... and that is only if u ask Him to give u... the test comes in a 2 fold thingie... first He wans u to ask for it... to open urself to ask God for it... next is to test ur patience and ur lvl of faith... and i guess in all this ive nothing to loose in trusting Him.. so i guess the only way out now is to calm myself down... forget everything... and move on and trust in the Lord... things may turn out fine and well someday...
and 3 days of impulse left me with a new gf... quite happy abt it.. haha shud be having a good time with her soon
in the meantime... indulge in my ever piling work... an act of stupidity to overload things... a sacrifice tat i made and now in a little regret... but wats the point... do it and accomplish it