end game
You: Is this fic???
Me: NO. ...ok, yes.
title: End Game
After it’s over, Kame wonders if it would have worked if they lived in a different world. Kame wonders if, maybe if they weren’t idols, maybe if they were anonymous, maybe if they didn’t have obligation upon obligation upon obligation, they could’ve made it work. Kame wonders if Johnny’s Entertainment is worth this, wonders if he could drop it all and never turn back.
After it’s over, Kame wonders if it would have worked if they lived in a different world. Kame wonders if, maybe if they weren’t idols, maybe if they were anonymous, maybe if they didn’t have obligation upon obligation upon obligation, they could’ve made it work. Kame wonders if Johnny’s Entertainment is worth this, wonders if he could drop it all and never turn back.
It’s something he’s too afraid of doing, leaving behind everything he knows and facing an uncertain future. He doesn’t want to live with too many regrets. Being an idol hardly seems like an opportunity anyone would pass up.
Kame would like to think that he’s spontaneous, but when it comes to important things, he thinks too much. He thinks about things like his future, like if the amount he’s saving now is enough for him and his loved ones in the future, like if his investments are yielding a decent return. Kame wishes he could leave everything behind and go for a three-month excursion in Europe, but he’s afraid that he’ll depreciate in value if he’s not in the public eye.
Kame’s got it in his head that being “Kamenashi Kazuya, idol” is more important than being “Kamenashi Kazuya, Akanishi Jin’s lover,” so he finds it rather peculiar that when Jin tells him, “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he starts to cry like someone near and dear to him has died.
(He doesn’t get that he starts to cry because his heart is breaking.)
“I’m sorry,” Jin says helplessly, a few minutes later. Jin is driving to his apartment, and Kame is in the passenger-side seat, knees folded against his chest, chin pressed into his knees and arms wrapped around his legs.
“It’s okay,” Kame says, voice thick with mucous, “I get it.”
“It’s not like that,” Jin says, voice sounding desperate. Kame closes his eyes but feels Jin’s eyes on him, boring into his head and reading his thoughts.
“Okay,” Kame says, voice calm. He controls his breaths, keeps his eyes closed. He tries to quiet his mind. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Jin asks. Kame opens his eyes to take a quick peek at Jin’s facial expression. His mouth is contorted into a lopsided, trembling frown. His eyes are glassy. “What does that mean?” Jin looks over at him, and a tear rolls down his cheek. “What the fuck does that even mean?” His voice cracks.
“Look at the road,” Kame says, and winces, braces himself as Jin presses down hard on the brake to avoid running a red light.
“I still love you,” Jin says, squeezes one of Kame’s hands in his own.
Me: NO. ...ok, yes.
title: End Game
After it’s over, Kame wonders if it would have worked if they lived in a different world. Kame wonders if, maybe if they weren’t idols, maybe if they were anonymous, maybe if they didn’t have obligation upon obligation upon obligation, they could’ve made it work. Kame wonders if Johnny’s Entertainment is worth this, wonders if he could drop it all and never turn back.
After it’s over, Kame wonders if it would have worked if they lived in a different world. Kame wonders if, maybe if they weren’t idols, maybe if they were anonymous, maybe if they didn’t have obligation upon obligation upon obligation, they could’ve made it work. Kame wonders if Johnny’s Entertainment is worth this, wonders if he could drop it all and never turn back.
It’s something he’s too afraid of doing, leaving behind everything he knows and facing an uncertain future. He doesn’t want to live with too many regrets. Being an idol hardly seems like an opportunity anyone would pass up.
Kame would like to think that he’s spontaneous, but when it comes to important things, he thinks too much. He thinks about things like his future, like if the amount he’s saving now is enough for him and his loved ones in the future, like if his investments are yielding a decent return. Kame wishes he could leave everything behind and go for a three-month excursion in Europe, but he’s afraid that he’ll depreciate in value if he’s not in the public eye.
Kame’s got it in his head that being “Kamenashi Kazuya, idol” is more important than being “Kamenashi Kazuya, Akanishi Jin’s lover,” so he finds it rather peculiar that when Jin tells him, “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he starts to cry like someone near and dear to him has died.
(He doesn’t get that he starts to cry because his heart is breaking.)
“I’m sorry,” Jin says helplessly, a few minutes later. Jin is driving to his apartment, and Kame is in the passenger-side seat, knees folded against his chest, chin pressed into his knees and arms wrapped around his legs.
“It’s okay,” Kame says, voice thick with mucous, “I get it.”
“It’s not like that,” Jin says, voice sounding desperate. Kame closes his eyes but feels Jin’s eyes on him, boring into his head and reading his thoughts.
“Okay,” Kame says, voice calm. He controls his breaths, keeps his eyes closed. He tries to quiet his mind. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Jin asks. Kame opens his eyes to take a quick peek at Jin’s facial expression. His mouth is contorted into a lopsided, trembling frown. His eyes are glassy. “What does that mean?” Jin looks over at him, and a tear rolls down his cheek. “What the fuck does that even mean?” His voice cracks.
“Look at the road,” Kame says, and winces, braces himself as Jin presses down hard on the brake to avoid running a red light.
“I still love you,” Jin says, squeezes one of Kame’s hands in his own.