To a friend.
I am replying in my LJ so I don't upset your journal. If you don't like what I am saying, i do apologize but this is just how I feel also. I care for you and if i didn't care I wouldn't always worry about you and check into your LJ twice a day to see how you are, nor think about whether or not you are okay. You remind me alot of my sister (yet you have more common sense than she). Maybe tht is why we clashed so much, but it doesn't mean I didn't come to love you.
I understand how you must feel. You seem to have this feeling of beign scared, hopeless, and alone. Not having a constant home is upsetting your being and your life. You feel a little bitter towards people who do have this consistancy and feel they should have anything to complain about. Your are right, but at the same token you are wrong also. Well, that is a bit redundant, in this case no one is right it is just part of life. I do however want to relay that there are two sides of every story. Take when you lived with us for an example. I guess I never fully told you everything about the conditions that lead to us asking you to move out.
When we took you in we were excited about meeting a new person and had hoped that we would have more time to spend with you and Erin. Didin't happen that way. On some level You and I clashed, we hardly ever agreed. We didn't hang out in the livingroom, where you were, because we had a system of hanging out in our bedroom and enjoye our time together alone, and we tried to invit you into there, where we watched allen's anime, but you were nervous ever going into our room. We are rennies, we have no sense of being personal, we would run around naked if we had been more attracted and weren't afraid of scaring people. When we kept asking you to get a job, it was because we were rapidly loseing money, having another mouth to feed. We couldn't stand it if you didn't eat. We dabbled into our savings for a house so we wouldn't bounce checks. Allen and I started fighting because the tension and stress off money was to great. After what happened with corestaff, we also felt let down that you left that job after 3 days. i got reamed when I spoke to cheryl about the peircing and tried to reason with her about you keeping it. It didn't work.Then steve had a job for you that you could keep your hair and peircings and get some kind of experience you could use later in life to get paid more, but you never filled out the application. Basically the final straw was that it felt you had no ambition to ever find a job in houston. There were hiring signs all around where we lived and a huge newspaper full of listings. We tried and suggested until finally we gave up. We probibly shouldn't have given up. We never really did kick you out. We said you had 2 weeks to find a job or a new place. By that time we lost all our saving, it was not much, and we didn'tknow what else to do. Allen's ultamtum (sorry i am sleeping and my spelling if awful) was to get you to start start thinking seriously about getting a job because you were sleeping most of the day and up most of the night. We thought it was the internet that kept you up all night. We never expected you to find a place the next day and leave butyou did.
I don't and wont feel guilty about what we did towards the end. I have regrets that things didn't work out better. i feel like you shouldn't be bitter about how we treated you because it hurts to think that you might beleive we rudly kicked you to the curb overnight. We tried and I am still trying to think of some way to help you. I like you, you are a fun energetic person, but you life the past few years leads people to belive that you want to live your life living off of people or getting things handed to you. I am sorry if this is offensive, I just wanted to give you a opposing view of what others might think when tney read your journal, I admit at time I think that but I started to think otherwise when you got your job you have now. you have no idea how proud I was and am about you having a job, a job you can relate to and maybe enjoy a tiny bit.I said my mind and hope I havn't terrible offended you. If you want you can e-mail me anytime. I would enjoy hearing from you, or my msn username is sorrowsforever. I do love you in my own way and just don't want you to get hurt.
I understand how you must feel. You seem to have this feeling of beign scared, hopeless, and alone. Not having a constant home is upsetting your being and your life. You feel a little bitter towards people who do have this consistancy and feel they should have anything to complain about. Your are right, but at the same token you are wrong also. Well, that is a bit redundant, in this case no one is right it is just part of life. I do however want to relay that there are two sides of every story. Take when you lived with us for an example. I guess I never fully told you everything about the conditions that lead to us asking you to move out.
When we took you in we were excited about meeting a new person and had hoped that we would have more time to spend with you and Erin. Didin't happen that way. On some level You and I clashed, we hardly ever agreed. We didn't hang out in the livingroom, where you were, because we had a system of hanging out in our bedroom and enjoye our time together alone, and we tried to invit you into there, where we watched allen's anime, but you were nervous ever going into our room. We are rennies, we have no sense of being personal, we would run around naked if we had been more attracted and weren't afraid of scaring people. When we kept asking you to get a job, it was because we were rapidly loseing money, having another mouth to feed. We couldn't stand it if you didn't eat. We dabbled into our savings for a house so we wouldn't bounce checks. Allen and I started fighting because the tension and stress off money was to great. After what happened with corestaff, we also felt let down that you left that job after 3 days. i got reamed when I spoke to cheryl about the peircing and tried to reason with her about you keeping it. It didn't work.Then steve had a job for you that you could keep your hair and peircings and get some kind of experience you could use later in life to get paid more, but you never filled out the application. Basically the final straw was that it felt you had no ambition to ever find a job in houston. There were hiring signs all around where we lived and a huge newspaper full of listings. We tried and suggested until finally we gave up. We probibly shouldn't have given up. We never really did kick you out. We said you had 2 weeks to find a job or a new place. By that time we lost all our saving, it was not much, and we didn'tknow what else to do. Allen's ultamtum (sorry i am sleeping and my spelling if awful) was to get you to start start thinking seriously about getting a job because you were sleeping most of the day and up most of the night. We thought it was the internet that kept you up all night. We never expected you to find a place the next day and leave butyou did.
I don't and wont feel guilty about what we did towards the end. I have regrets that things didn't work out better. i feel like you shouldn't be bitter about how we treated you because it hurts to think that you might beleive we rudly kicked you to the curb overnight. We tried and I am still trying to think of some way to help you. I like you, you are a fun energetic person, but you life the past few years leads people to belive that you want to live your life living off of people or getting things handed to you. I am sorry if this is offensive, I just wanted to give you a opposing view of what others might think when tney read your journal, I admit at time I think that but I started to think otherwise when you got your job you have now. you have no idea how proud I was and am about you having a job, a job you can relate to and maybe enjoy a tiny bit.I said my mind and hope I havn't terrible offended you. If you want you can e-mail me anytime. I would enjoy hearing from you, or my msn username is sorrowsforever. I do love you in my own way and just don't want you to get hurt.