Ah ha! Sean Connery got you! He will save your soul!
So the biggest reason that I have hesitated with her: she is still into her ex-boyfriend. I cannot deal with that. How can someone really give themselves to you when they really want to give themselves to another person? I think I fully realized the extent of which I do not want to deal with that while I was talking with him last night. Alex (his name) is a damned awesome cool guy. Srsly. He also found himself an awesome girlfriend. See, apparently she is a great kinda geek girl that can match his geekiness, which I think is wonderful for him. He deserves such an amazing kind of thing. Hell, I am even slightly jealous he got so lucky, but it is karma after all. The thing is that Kirstin thinks she is bad for him and that he is completely unhappy. Unhappiness does not come in the form of an NES cake. Never. Never. Never. She sent him something like seventy dollars worth of tea for his birthday, which is a nice present because he likes tea. However, I do believe he would find that a little strange and awkward.
With that standing there, how could I not hesitate? In fact, I am damned surprised that I have not walked away from this. I have no chance. She is still the jealous ex-girlfriend, despite her vague attempts to move on. In other words, she has not moved on at all. That cannot work in a relationship at all. She thinks I lack confidence and do not speak my mind. That is true to an extent...but not as much as it appears. I can typically speak my mind with just about anyone really well. Look what I am doing here! These are all my current thoughts really in a nutshell! I find myself not speaking my mind around her as much because I would betray myself, and I do not wish to really wish to jump into things until I am sure I want to. I take things nice and slow. She does not. Thus she seems to be getting a little impatient.
TOUGH SHIT! I shall not be rushed. Everything comes in good time, and I have great patience for a reason. I refuse to be headstrong here. Rushing into anything works considerably less than putting some thought into things. Bottom line here: Do I still like her? Yes, quite a bit. Does she still like her ex-boyfriend? Yes, quite a lot. Do I want to deal with that? No, not really. Would it even work? I doubt it. Am I wrong? That is always possible. Is that likely this time? ...*sigh* No.
With that standing there, how could I not hesitate? In fact, I am damned surprised that I have not walked away from this. I have no chance. She is still the jealous ex-girlfriend, despite her vague attempts to move on. In other words, she has not moved on at all. That cannot work in a relationship at all. She thinks I lack confidence and do not speak my mind. That is true to an extent...but not as much as it appears. I can typically speak my mind with just about anyone really well. Look what I am doing here! These are all my current thoughts really in a nutshell! I find myself not speaking my mind around her as much because I would betray myself, and I do not wish to really wish to jump into things until I am sure I want to. I take things nice and slow. She does not. Thus she seems to be getting a little impatient.
TOUGH SHIT! I shall not be rushed. Everything comes in good time, and I have great patience for a reason. I refuse to be headstrong here. Rushing into anything works considerably less than putting some thought into things. Bottom line here: Do I still like her? Yes, quite a bit. Does she still like her ex-boyfriend? Yes, quite a lot. Do I want to deal with that? No, not really. Would it even work? I doubt it. Am I wrong? That is always possible. Is that likely this time? ...*sigh* No.