day 88
well. missions festival is over.
chris is making kool-aid.
i have hebrew homework. and a paper sometime soon for sys III. i'm doing mine on how being adopted through Christ affects self-image and depression. kind of ironic.
i have no idea what to write.
i just have no drive right now to do anything.
at least, i think i've upgraded from damien rice to ben harper and bill withers...
EDIT: it's funny. tonight, i spent a while talking with two women who i have been part of my life for a long time now. and to say that feelings were attached would be an understatement. but tonight, it was surreal. like, it didn't even register that the woman i was talking to had once been such a focus of my attention. or, maybe more that it was something i had dealt with and processed, and can now actually live my life, by the grace of God. which helps me grasp that this, too, shall pass.
you know, growing up in a divorced home, all i've ever wanted was to be married. a whole family. i think that's why i've always latched onto friends with strong families. maybe? anyway, my whole life has been so focused on finding that completion that it easily becomes an idol in my heart. and this whole ordeal has really shown me that my heart is an atrocious idol-factory that easily gives up God. thankfully, His love is infinitely greater than mine.
so yes, tomorrow is another day. more troubles, more joys. there is healing at the cross. i think i'll try to rest there.
chris is making kool-aid.
i have hebrew homework. and a paper sometime soon for sys III. i'm doing mine on how being adopted through Christ affects self-image and depression. kind of ironic.
i have no idea what to write.
i just have no drive right now to do anything.
at least, i think i've upgraded from damien rice to ben harper and bill withers...
EDIT: it's funny. tonight, i spent a while talking with two women who i have been part of my life for a long time now. and to say that feelings were attached would be an understatement. but tonight, it was surreal. like, it didn't even register that the woman i was talking to had once been such a focus of my attention. or, maybe more that it was something i had dealt with and processed, and can now actually live my life, by the grace of God. which helps me grasp that this, too, shall pass.
you know, growing up in a divorced home, all i've ever wanted was to be married. a whole family. i think that's why i've always latched onto friends with strong families. maybe? anyway, my whole life has been so focused on finding that completion that it easily becomes an idol in my heart. and this whole ordeal has really shown me that my heart is an atrocious idol-factory that easily gives up God. thankfully, His love is infinitely greater than mine.
so yes, tomorrow is another day. more troubles, more joys. there is healing at the cross. i think i'll try to rest there.