Wow...
Sorry about the delay in the updates people. I actually put some effort into school and got straight A's for the first time in my life, but this is at a community college, so I don't think it's something to be totally proud of. Anyway, one of my friends, Scott, and I are finally having our Eagle Ceremonies. Yeah...that's right. I was a Boy Scout. But that isn't the important part. Statistically, only 2 in 100 boy scouts attain the rank of eagle. That being said, it means that Scott and I screwed 98 other boy scouts out of getting the rank of eagle, that's the important part, hehehe...
Oh yeah, something really awesome happened to me the other day. A friend that I haven't talked to in a while sent me a message on aim. That really ended up brightening up my day as I've really wanted to talk to her for a long time, but I lost her screen name and phone #. Heh, go figure.
In other news, I am gonna try to work at a library. This is my dream job, by the way. There is a lot of reading I need to do. I'm stuck in a rut of sorts. My mind has exploded with all these philosophical ideas (as lame as it sounds) and I need to know more. My current focus is that of the existence of God. All my old religious beliefs have been shattered, and I'm trying to figure out if God even exists. My current state of mind is that God doesn't exist, but I'm still open to possibility that it does. Hence, I need to read more about this topic and come to my own conclusion.
It's an odd feeling. One day you wake up, you beleive that God is there watching over you. The next, God is gone. It's a sort of hopeless happiness. Happiness in that I don't feel shackled to something that has control over all aspects of my life. However, hopeless in that all my pain, all my suffereing will mean nothing when I die.
Who knows, maybe this emptiness I feel sometimes isn't that I don't have an answer, but rather that I'm covering up my real problem with the question of God's existence. As with most things, only time will tell.
Oh yeah, something really awesome happened to me the other day. A friend that I haven't talked to in a while sent me a message on aim. That really ended up brightening up my day as I've really wanted to talk to her for a long time, but I lost her screen name and phone #. Heh, go figure.
In other news, I am gonna try to work at a library. This is my dream job, by the way. There is a lot of reading I need to do. I'm stuck in a rut of sorts. My mind has exploded with all these philosophical ideas (as lame as it sounds) and I need to know more. My current focus is that of the existence of God. All my old religious beliefs have been shattered, and I'm trying to figure out if God even exists. My current state of mind is that God doesn't exist, but I'm still open to possibility that it does. Hence, I need to read more about this topic and come to my own conclusion.
It's an odd feeling. One day you wake up, you beleive that God is there watching over you. The next, God is gone. It's a sort of hopeless happiness. Happiness in that I don't feel shackled to something that has control over all aspects of my life. However, hopeless in that all my pain, all my suffereing will mean nothing when I die.
Who knows, maybe this emptiness I feel sometimes isn't that I don't have an answer, but rather that I'm covering up my real problem with the question of God's existence. As with most things, only time will tell.