Be my guest, you can step
It's a lot of "out of sight, out of mind stuff" happening. And that really reaffirms my decision to leave the state...to leave my life as I knew it...the norm...and to start something new. All the people that I thought were truly for me have shown their true selves since I've been away, and it's only been two months. That's remarkable. But, better now than later...
I don't hold grudges. I just pray that God helps me to forgive and move on. They all definitely burned a bridge, and I am the type of person you would want to know forever. I am a light and I am only going to shine brighter. But I'll never forget the betrayal and the disappointment. People who said they were for me...with me...they have continuously dropped the ball. It wasn't just Keith. It started with him, then my intern, my "friend"...my business partner...my business colleague... Literally everyone that was an integral part of my life for the past four years blew it. In major individual ways.
So when I'm "home" again and end up seeing all these people (thought I'm good on that), I already know they're gonna be the ones to say I'm acting brand new. They won't understand I am responding to how they played me...how I don't want to have anything to do with phoniness. They won't take accountability for their part in why I'm different towards them. And it'll be a lot of "oh, she's changed" cause I'm in law school. This experience (law school) is something THEY all put on a pedestal. I'm grateful for the opportunity to pursue a law degree, but to them, it's about prestige. So when I'm pulling away from them, they're going to associate it with my career trajectory and with not the way they have repeatedly let me down in a mere two months. If they don't love me, somebody else will. It's already done.