I watched Delta Farce. That's the movie starring Larry the Cable Guy. That's the movie known for being an irredeemable collection of crude slapstick, bodily function gags, and gay stereotypes. It has a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Not only that, I own Delta Farce. I spent a whole five dollars on it. I saw it sitting on the discount rack at Blockbuster ( Read more... )

It's the year 1999. A movie called The Matrix is released, and all of a sudden the word "Wachowski" means something in Hollywood.

It's the year 2003. The Matrix Revolutions is released, and all of a sudden the word "Wachowski" means a whole lot less.

I won't attempt to figure out what went wrong after The Matrix. This review isn't the place to ( Read more... )

I'll be honest here: I don't "get" martial arts movies. I appreciate a good ass-kicking as much as the next person, but martial art buffs nerd out in a way that I'll probably never relate to. So when people talk about the momentous, long-awaited union of Jet Li and Jackie Chan, two names familiar even to those that don't spend their time watching ( Read more... )

Probably the most positive thing I can say about Shoot 'Em Up is that it reminded me a lot of Children of Men. Both are violent stories centered on babies, and both star Clive Owen as an almost inexplicably heroic man who either shoots guns a whole lot or never so much as squeezes a trigger. (Try to guess in which film he does which.) Sometimes I ( Read more... )

I'm coming in late to this one. Amelie was released in 2001, and though it is seven years later and the film has since met with plenty of warm reviews, I didn't really know all that much about it. I did not know the plot; I did not know whether it was a drama or a comedy (though I had gotten the impression that it was a light hearted flick); all I ( Read more... )

I wish you could rate films ironically on Netflix, because I watched Purple Rain last night, which is a solid four ironic stars out of five. Maybe four and a half. But you can't rate half-stars on Netflix, much less ironic half-stars. I couldn't decide at first whether to vote it two stars (which is the opposite of four ironic stars, I've decided ( Read more... )