It's my definition, not yours
I ran into my friend Wark yesterday and we ended up talking about relationships (probably since both of us are going through transitional periods in our own respective ones), and the phrase "no one is perfect" got thrown in there.
After that, I started thinking about that phrase; and how I, myself, have never really been attracted to "perfect" people. Oh, sure, when I was young and idealistic, I'm sure there were a handful of times I put someone or another on a pedestal and called them "perfect". But of course, that was back before I knew what a real, grown-up relationship WAS. Now that I know better, I honestly think that perfect people a. are boring and b. don't truly exist.
Now, don't get me wrong. There are people that are "perfect for each other". As in, they mesh well, they click together, etc etc. That in itself does not, however, make them perfect. But sometimes, for me...the things that people tend to think of things that make them "imperfect" are the things I find the most fascinating about them. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm a little nutty, myself (since--of course--I'm about as far from the average guy's "ideal woman" as you could probably get). But the things that are "wrong" with us...physically, emotionally, whatever...they can sometimes be the things that make us seem the most human.
There are people I've met or come across that seemed "perfect" at first. But it's usually all just a facade, hiding an equally imperfect person just under the surface. And it's just getting easier and easier to become a deceptive "perfect" person in this day in age...with makeup, surgery, Photoshop, expensive clothes, credit cards...it's become easier and easier to just buy yourself into people's hearts.
Maybe that's why I don't wear much makeup. Maybe that's why I don't really care for expensive clothes. I don't know. I don't think a person should be labeled as "perfect mate material" on stupid things like that. That's why I don't judge guys based on their jobs, or the cars they drive, or how much money they make. That's not who they are. That doesn't make them a perfect or imperfect person. And I wouldn't want someone to judge me based on those things. In this day in age, you have to do what you have to do sometimes. (Well, obviously, there's a line there...I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who does illegal shit, heh.)
And we all have histories, habits, personality flaws. Some worse than others. That doesn't make us bad people, and I'm really sick of hearing the media tell us that we need to fix EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT'S WRONG WITH US, for fear that people won't like us anymore. Yes, I have depression, and yes, sometimes it's worse than others. But does that mean that I don't deserve a chance? That I don't deserve to be loved and treated like a person, just like anyone else? No. And I hate that every pharmaceutical company wants to give me a pill or a shot that would "help" me get over it, but would probably just give me a whole new laundry list of symptoms that would give me new shit to worry over. While I did take medication for awhile, I felt like a zombie...walking through a haze, all I wanted to do was sleep most of the time. While it did help me get through the worst parts of my depression, I realized after awhile that now that it was over...I could probably control it myself, with time, and with the help of those who cared about me. Just like I had before. And it's been months since I've taken any.
Mmmm, but I'm getting off track. I wish I could go back and tell every person I was ever in a relationship with, or even had a crush on, that it was their quirks, their personalities--flaws and all--that made them what they are. That drew me to them. While I might not feel the same ways about them NOW, since I've changed and they've changed and all that crap...I think more people need to understand that even when we feel at our worst, even when we feel broken beyond all repair, that somewhere out there...there is someone who might not look at us as an imperfect, broken person. That to someone, we might be the most interesting, attractive, amazing person in the whole world. And it's our flaws that help shape us.
It's hard for me to remember that. But I'm trying to. I really am. I may not be perfect, but to someone, I might be that mesh, that click, that perfectly imperfect piece that fits next to their equally imperfect piece to make something that finally feels...whole.
Ok. Rambling over now. Promise.
After that, I started thinking about that phrase; and how I, myself, have never really been attracted to "perfect" people. Oh, sure, when I was young and idealistic, I'm sure there were a handful of times I put someone or another on a pedestal and called them "perfect". But of course, that was back before I knew what a real, grown-up relationship WAS. Now that I know better, I honestly think that perfect people a. are boring and b. don't truly exist.
Now, don't get me wrong. There are people that are "perfect for each other". As in, they mesh well, they click together, etc etc. That in itself does not, however, make them perfect. But sometimes, for me...the things that people tend to think of things that make them "imperfect" are the things I find the most fascinating about them. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm a little nutty, myself (since--of course--I'm about as far from the average guy's "ideal woman" as you could probably get). But the things that are "wrong" with us...physically, emotionally, whatever...they can sometimes be the things that make us seem the most human.
There are people I've met or come across that seemed "perfect" at first. But it's usually all just a facade, hiding an equally imperfect person just under the surface. And it's just getting easier and easier to become a deceptive "perfect" person in this day in age...with makeup, surgery, Photoshop, expensive clothes, credit cards...it's become easier and easier to just buy yourself into people's hearts.
Maybe that's why I don't wear much makeup. Maybe that's why I don't really care for expensive clothes. I don't know. I don't think a person should be labeled as "perfect mate material" on stupid things like that. That's why I don't judge guys based on their jobs, or the cars they drive, or how much money they make. That's not who they are. That doesn't make them a perfect or imperfect person. And I wouldn't want someone to judge me based on those things. In this day in age, you have to do what you have to do sometimes. (Well, obviously, there's a line there...I wouldn't want to get involved with someone who does illegal shit, heh.)
And we all have histories, habits, personality flaws. Some worse than others. That doesn't make us bad people, and I'm really sick of hearing the media tell us that we need to fix EVERY SINGLE LITTLE THING THAT'S WRONG WITH US, for fear that people won't like us anymore. Yes, I have depression, and yes, sometimes it's worse than others. But does that mean that I don't deserve a chance? That I don't deserve to be loved and treated like a person, just like anyone else? No. And I hate that every pharmaceutical company wants to give me a pill or a shot that would "help" me get over it, but would probably just give me a whole new laundry list of symptoms that would give me new shit to worry over. While I did take medication for awhile, I felt like a zombie...walking through a haze, all I wanted to do was sleep most of the time. While it did help me get through the worst parts of my depression, I realized after awhile that now that it was over...I could probably control it myself, with time, and with the help of those who cared about me. Just like I had before. And it's been months since I've taken any.
Mmmm, but I'm getting off track. I wish I could go back and tell every person I was ever in a relationship with, or even had a crush on, that it was their quirks, their personalities--flaws and all--that made them what they are. That drew me to them. While I might not feel the same ways about them NOW, since I've changed and they've changed and all that crap...I think more people need to understand that even when we feel at our worst, even when we feel broken beyond all repair, that somewhere out there...there is someone who might not look at us as an imperfect, broken person. That to someone, we might be the most interesting, attractive, amazing person in the whole world. And it's our flaws that help shape us.
It's hard for me to remember that. But I'm trying to. I really am. I may not be perfect, but to someone, I might be that mesh, that click, that perfectly imperfect piece that fits next to their equally imperfect piece to make something that finally feels...whole.
Ok. Rambling over now. Promise.