(no subject)
the city look absoultelly beautiful at night in the new jersey side. I'm on the bus right now going to the poconos. I guess I've been going to the poconos a lot more often now then ever because well my options are very limtied. All my boys are gone to college already soo there goes drinking plans. Many of the girls are busy at college, well valerie she is off to college in a couple of hours. I actually got to see her today. In the morning i was arguing with her about seeing her and toward the evening she saw me. It.. for some reason.. it always ends up that way. We argue to see each and then at the end she'll surprise me. I love that. We went shpping and i caught the last glimpses of the valetude and we ate some food and said our good byes. Well i never really saw good bye. Never really.. anyone ever notices i always say "lata" cause i know i'll see them again. The whole valerie thing is not over.. the books is closed but the page we ended off with is merely just a fold in the page.. to be continued. I'm kinda happy on how it ended.. i asked her if she still likes me and she played the same game.. that she can't say and thing and just smiles. which i know and everone else knows is a yes in an elementery level. Of course i wish there was a kiss at the end, but i gotta respect the whole thing...
I'm on this bus and i kinda wish i had a girl with me. someone laying their head on my shoulder. Ok don't get me wrong, i don't need a girl, and i am not going to go out and try to find one. That is not on my agenda. When i'm single, its all about me, its all about making myself feel good. I will instead of spending every bit of money i have on the girl, i can actually treat myself to new clothes and do better in school. But i guess i was daydreaming alitte.. just a girl next to me... holding hands through out the trip. Someone i can bring home to my parents on the weekends. We can go away on the weekends with each other. Its sucha late night right now, its around 12:45 well i missed the bus.. what else is new i missed it and i had to wait for the 12:30 bus. going to arrive at the poconos at like 2. But its like one of those things, late night bus trip with the girl curled up beside you. UGH... when they curl up and hit that spot right on your side.. and just snuggle up. i can lay my head next to hers and smell her hair and kiss her head. or even if it wasn't a bus. If i had my own car.i can imagine being with a girl right next to me while i am driving. holding hands... or even her sleeping and i can glance at how beautiful she is.
I'm looking up the window and its sucha a beautiful night.. the mood is bright and the roads are empty. The bus is enteresting in a way that... welll i do this thing when i'm thinking by myself. I'm very visual and when i have to go out and think about things.. my special place is not just one place.., its where ever i can actually walk around and watch busy streets. I can walk down a street and just look at everyone that is walking by me. In New York, there are soo many different kinds of people and have sooo many stories to them. Thats what i like about meeting new people, you get to learn something new, you get find out what made this person the way the person is. But when i walk down the street, obviously i can't just talk to everyone but i love to guess what everyone is thinking. Seeing a business women walking down the street wearing a power suit with a coffee in one hand, a ciggarette in the other, bags on her wrists and walking three dogs. OH and talking on the cell fone.. that will make think about what is actually going through her mind. New yorkers have to constantly mulititask all the time.. there is never just one time where i can think i'm just thinking about one thing. Thats why i think people think i have a d d its cause i can't concentrate. I have sooo many things on my mind. yes true most of it shouldn't really matter. Off the top of my head while i'm typing this i'm thinking about the gym, how much my legs hurt, what the hell am i going to do at the poconos, valerie going to college, what am i going to do about college, hope my laptop doesn't die. what song am i going to listen to next..whats the stores of the people sitting next to me... whats on tv. are there any other songs to download. stupid stuff like that, you get the point, the fact is i i'm never not thinking about something, i can't just sit somewhere and not do anything.. i'll go crazy.
If you had a choice would you want to see what happens next or would you just let time pass and find out on your own? I dunno i sometimes wonder what god has instore for me next. what or who is my next challenge that will change me in some way. Where am i going to meet this girl? Do i already know this girl or is it someone that i'll meet some other time. Is it weird that i think about these things all the time? The truth is i can meet a girl, i'm not shy i'll go up to any girl and talk to her, its not even like that. Its more like i dont know i'm ready.. physically and mentally ready to start something new. Yes its been a while since jess and i should get back to the game and i'm fully ready its just that its been soo much before her and i want to find a girl that can start out slow and i don't have to work as hard to start. thats what i want to do, i'm going to take my time with all the romantic stuff. I'm not going to put it all out there...to start i just want to talk... spend time, i want the next girl to actually be a friend to me before anything. I want to connect to her in a different way then anyone else. I want her to be someone i can go to, that i won't get sick of chilin with. Someone i can be with every weekend... well maybe not everyday but someone that i ccan chill with all the time. Someone that can make sex the best thing ever. that we can have fun with it, and just show each other that we love each other. I think my problem is that i jjust like being love for being in love. and i'll fool myself into loving someone just so i can have that feeling. But wow its sucha a great feeling. I want someone that would need me as much as i need her.a girl that would need my touch. Someone that doesn't want to be alone, and right now that we have never met eachother is feeling the same exact way i'm feeling. I want someone that would actually treat me right. That feeling... ohh that feeling you know that feeling that when that person calls you start to tremble, and you are, even though you dont want to say you are, waiting by the fone a call even though you just hung up the fone with that person. I really want those weekend, those weekends where we could just watch a movie together and just cuddle. Maybe what i need right now is a girl to show me some affection. I don't know. i want to say those three words again at the end of every fone call. The look.. the gaze the one you do when you are with that person and you can look that person in the eyes for ever. You just get lost in that persons eyes and just keep searching. I want those goodbye kisses back. those kisses i used to get when i put the girl into a cab and my signiture move where i reopen the door to get another kiss. KISSES... i'm at a point that i'll make out with anyone just to make out cause i miss it soo much. But i'm soo tired of meeting all the wrong people, how i get stuck with all the crazy ones. I must have did something really shitty in the past life or something. But honestly, its like i think the reason why i go for girls what have boyfriends is because i guess my logic is that they are girlsfriends for a reason, and they'll make due. i think.. i dunno. -adam
I was really late posting this cause i didn't have internet access and i lost train of thought during the weekend so i'm just posting it to get rid of it
I'm on this bus and i kinda wish i had a girl with me. someone laying their head on my shoulder. Ok don't get me wrong, i don't need a girl, and i am not going to go out and try to find one. That is not on my agenda. When i'm single, its all about me, its all about making myself feel good. I will instead of spending every bit of money i have on the girl, i can actually treat myself to new clothes and do better in school. But i guess i was daydreaming alitte.. just a girl next to me... holding hands through out the trip. Someone i can bring home to my parents on the weekends. We can go away on the weekends with each other. Its sucha late night right now, its around 12:45 well i missed the bus.. what else is new i missed it and i had to wait for the 12:30 bus. going to arrive at the poconos at like 2. But its like one of those things, late night bus trip with the girl curled up beside you. UGH... when they curl up and hit that spot right on your side.. and just snuggle up. i can lay my head next to hers and smell her hair and kiss her head. or even if it wasn't a bus. If i had my own car.i can imagine being with a girl right next to me while i am driving. holding hands... or even her sleeping and i can glance at how beautiful she is.
I'm looking up the window and its sucha a beautiful night.. the mood is bright and the roads are empty. The bus is enteresting in a way that... welll i do this thing when i'm thinking by myself. I'm very visual and when i have to go out and think about things.. my special place is not just one place.., its where ever i can actually walk around and watch busy streets. I can walk down a street and just look at everyone that is walking by me. In New York, there are soo many different kinds of people and have sooo many stories to them. Thats what i like about meeting new people, you get to learn something new, you get find out what made this person the way the person is. But when i walk down the street, obviously i can't just talk to everyone but i love to guess what everyone is thinking. Seeing a business women walking down the street wearing a power suit with a coffee in one hand, a ciggarette in the other, bags on her wrists and walking three dogs. OH and talking on the cell fone.. that will make think about what is actually going through her mind. New yorkers have to constantly mulititask all the time.. there is never just one time where i can think i'm just thinking about one thing. Thats why i think people think i have a d d its cause i can't concentrate. I have sooo many things on my mind. yes true most of it shouldn't really matter. Off the top of my head while i'm typing this i'm thinking about the gym, how much my legs hurt, what the hell am i going to do at the poconos, valerie going to college, what am i going to do about college, hope my laptop doesn't die. what song am i going to listen to next..whats the stores of the people sitting next to me... whats on tv. are there any other songs to download. stupid stuff like that, you get the point, the fact is i i'm never not thinking about something, i can't just sit somewhere and not do anything.. i'll go crazy.
If you had a choice would you want to see what happens next or would you just let time pass and find out on your own? I dunno i sometimes wonder what god has instore for me next. what or who is my next challenge that will change me in some way. Where am i going to meet this girl? Do i already know this girl or is it someone that i'll meet some other time. Is it weird that i think about these things all the time? The truth is i can meet a girl, i'm not shy i'll go up to any girl and talk to her, its not even like that. Its more like i dont know i'm ready.. physically and mentally ready to start something new. Yes its been a while since jess and i should get back to the game and i'm fully ready its just that its been soo much before her and i want to find a girl that can start out slow and i don't have to work as hard to start. thats what i want to do, i'm going to take my time with all the romantic stuff. I'm not going to put it all out there...to start i just want to talk... spend time, i want the next girl to actually be a friend to me before anything. I want to connect to her in a different way then anyone else. I want her to be someone i can go to, that i won't get sick of chilin with. Someone i can be with every weekend... well maybe not everyday but someone that i ccan chill with all the time. Someone that can make sex the best thing ever. that we can have fun with it, and just show each other that we love each other. I think my problem is that i jjust like being love for being in love. and i'll fool myself into loving someone just so i can have that feeling. But wow its sucha a great feeling. I want someone that would need me as much as i need her.a girl that would need my touch. Someone that doesn't want to be alone, and right now that we have never met eachother is feeling the same exact way i'm feeling. I want someone that would actually treat me right. That feeling... ohh that feeling you know that feeling that when that person calls you start to tremble, and you are, even though you dont want to say you are, waiting by the fone a call even though you just hung up the fone with that person. I really want those weekend, those weekends where we could just watch a movie together and just cuddle. Maybe what i need right now is a girl to show me some affection. I don't know. i want to say those three words again at the end of every fone call. The look.. the gaze the one you do when you are with that person and you can look that person in the eyes for ever. You just get lost in that persons eyes and just keep searching. I want those goodbye kisses back. those kisses i used to get when i put the girl into a cab and my signiture move where i reopen the door to get another kiss. KISSES... i'm at a point that i'll make out with anyone just to make out cause i miss it soo much. But i'm soo tired of meeting all the wrong people, how i get stuck with all the crazy ones. I must have did something really shitty in the past life or something. But honestly, its like i think the reason why i go for girls what have boyfriends is because i guess my logic is that they are girlsfriends for a reason, and they'll make due. i think.. i dunno. -adam
I was really late posting this cause i didn't have internet access and i lost train of thought during the weekend so i'm just posting it to get rid of it