fic: all the stars and boulevards [ 7 ]
title all the stars and boulevards [ 7 ]
author snuffleslove
pairing zayn/liam, harry/louis, girl!niall
word count 60k
rating pg-13 (now)
warnings slash, swearing, drugs, genderswap, abuse, domestic violence, dub-con
summary zayn and louis take on columbia (university!au)
a/n AU where the boys are international students at columbia university and new york city is taken by storm.
"Oh my god, please say you all have clothes under there," Niall exclaims when she barges in, voice high with incredulity. Harry grunts a little.
"Zayn's not wearing trousers, can feel his hairy legs," he mumbles.
"Hey, this is my bed," Zayn throws out, too sleepy to sound indignant. Niall throws her head back and laughs.
"Oh my god," she repeats, toeing off her shoes and jumping into bed to press her cold feet to Zayn's where they hang outside the blanket.
"We should start locking our door," Zayn grumbles, shifting to move away from the cold. "Fuck Ni, your feet are like ice." She just giggles a little, settles in on top of Louis over the blankets and pillows her head in her arms over his chest.
"What're you doing here," Louis mumbles, not opening his eyes.
"Uh, it's five thirty? Liam's instructed us to help Zayn figure out what to wear for tonight?" she reminds them sternly. Zayn bolts upright, nearly dislodging Harry,"Wait, have the three of you actually not gotten out of bed yet?"
"Fuck. Liam. I'm not sure this is such a good idea," Zayn tries, watching as Niall pulls herself off the bed gracefully, starts heading towards his closet to rummage through it. "Maybe I should -"
She whirls around, hair flying.
"Maybe you should what? Cancel?" she arches an eyebrow disdainfully, "He's not a child Zayn, he's a big boy, he can take care of himself. He knows what he wants and he knows what you want and he's made his choice to spend time with you and you have no business trying to protecthim or whatever fuckall idea you've got going on in your head." Zayn stares at her, swallows.
"Marry me," Harry turns to face her.
"Me too," Louis seconds, tucking his chin in Harry's neck. Niall spares them an eye roll before turning back to Zayn.
"If you don't like spending time with him, if he makes you angry or upset, if you think he's pressuring you into something you don't want, go ahead, cancel on him. But otherwise Zayn? Just bloody go, enjoy yourself for once, ok? Believe it or not, you deserve at least that."
Zayn heaves a heavy sigh. She's right, of course. And he did tell Louis he'd do this one thing. If it turns out badly, there's always tomorrow, right?
"What have you got for me then?"
Niall grants him a small satisfied smile and Harry lets out a cheer which turns into a giggle fast as Louis rolls him over forcefully.
"You two sort that, Harry and I will just. Don't mind us we'll be here -" he leans in to kiss Harry, cupping the back of his neck and pulling him close.
Zayn throws a pillow at them as he leaves bed.
"This," Niall says, pulling out a navy blue blazer that -
"That's not mine though," he turns confusedly to the pair on the bed and Louis leans up a bit to take a look.
"S'Harry's," he tells him matter-of-factly. Zayn raises an eyebrow.
"How are your boyfriend's clothes ending up in my closet?" Louis gives a horizontal shrug.
"You tell me. You two going at it behind my back then?" he asks, tickling Harry. Harry squirms and giggles.
"Don't start with me Tomlinson, I've got like a foot on you and my hands were made for tickling."
"Oh yeah?" Louis quirks an eyebrow, his voice goes low, "I thought they were made for something else -" Harry groans with the rest of the room.
"Oh my god, Lou," he mutters, "Shut up."
"No?" Louis asks innocently, "I seem to recall a moment not too long ago where there was some bragging going on about -"
"Oh my god," Harry repeats, pulling the blankets up over his face. Niall cackles.
"You two are perfect," she says sweetly. Harry groans again, only peeking out of the blankets to look at Zayn.
"Wear it," he says, "It'll look good on you."
"Everything looks good on Zayn and his cheek bones," Louis affirms, kissing the part of Harry's forehead that sticks out from under the covers as a way of apology. Harry pulls him down for a real kiss, eyes smiling.
"Shut up," Zayn mumbles, turning his attention back to Niall. She stuffs a pair of jeans, plain white shirt and Harry's blazer into him with an amused smile.
"Try these," she orders. Zayn fumbles a bit under her gaze, but manages to tug on his jeans. When he has to remove his shirt he looks up at Niall, fingers playing with the edge of the tee, eyes questioning.
"Go on," she coaxes, voice soft. She averts her eyes when he tugs the shirt off, biting her lip to keep a reaction from escaping, but Zayn hears a sharp intake of breath from behind him.
"Sorry," he says to Harry without turning, tugging on the new shirt as fast as he can.
"Don't fucking apologize, Zayn, christ," Harry tells him fiercely. Niall helps him shrug on the blazer and then he eyes himself in the mirror, adjusting the lapels.
"Thanks, yeah? For this," he says to Harry by way of reconciliation. Harry just nods and Zayn knows they're square. He turns back to the mirror, studies himself. He looks good, if he's being honest with himself. Harry's blazer hangs off him a little bit but it suits him still and Niall's chosen his favorite pair of jeans, of course she has. He runs his hands through his hair to straighten his quiff, allows himself a small satisfied smile.
Niall moves in front of him, pulls his chains out over his shirt.
"You're gonna have a really good time tonight," she says confidently, fidgeting with the hem of his blazer. Zayn cups her hand. thanks, i love you. From the bed, Louis stands up, moves to the fridge and then to the cupboard and then places a shot glass and a bottle of rum on the table.
"Liquid courage?" he asks, and for once he's not taking the piss.
"Yeah, yeah, let me just.brush my teeth."
"Brush after," Harry suggests. Zayn nods, downs the two shots Louis pours for him with a wince and a whine, taking Niall's proffered glass of water. Not the ideal chaser, but it'll do.
He brushes his teeth with the bathroom door open, and over the sound of the running water he can just make out the concerned murmurs of his three best friends.
By the time Liam finally shows up at his door, Zayn's a proper mess. He insisted on taking one more shot that Louis poured him hesitantly and now he's anxious buzzed, energy filled and unable to sit still.
The sight of Liam stops him short though. He's smiling through the door frame at the four of them, his cheeks coloring when Niall lets out a low whistle.
"Damn, I didn't think you owned a pair of trousers that weren't Columbia sweats, Li, but you clean up nice," Louis remarks almost casually, almost. Liam just grins at him.
"Thanks Lou. You ready to go?" he asks Zayn. Zayn manages to use the small amount brain cells that haven't short circuited to string together a few coherent thoughts. One, Liam looks really good in all black. Two, Liam has really nice collarbones. Three, he is fucked.
"I uh yeah," Zayn manages, making to head straight out the door. Niall tuts.
"Shoes, Zayn?" she reminds him. Zayn blushes. It takes him way too long to toe on a pair of shoes. He makes to leave again but Louis holds out a hand to stop him.
"Wallet?" he asks.
"Fuck," Zayn curses, fumbling around to find it. Liam's laughing at him heartily.
"Don't tease him Haz," Liam giggles. Zayn turns to find Harry's holding up his wallet for him.
"Got it," Harry says innocently from where he'd fished out Zayn's trousers from yesterday. He slides it into Zayn's back pocket and gives his bum a friendly encouraging pat. "Go on you two, have fun."
"Don't bring my baby home too late," Louis says sternly, eyes dancing. Liam offers him a small salute and encloses Zayn's wrist with a warm hand.
"C'mon, Zayn," he smiles excitedly, "Let's get out of here."
In the elevator Zayn gets a chance to take him in quietly and uninterrupted. He's wearing a black dress shirt that's tight around his shoulders and unbuttoned so that the lines of his collarbones carve a path to his neck as well as black fitted trousers and black shoes. He's rolled up his sleeves over the muscle of his forearms and he looks. Really good. When he looks back up at Liam, Liam's giving him a small amused smile.
"Do I pass then?" he asks with a chuckle. Zayn swallows. Pass is probably the biggest understatement of Zayn's existence at the moment.
"We must be going some place fancy," Zayn says out loud. Liam nods.
""ve put on my Sunday best for you," he says solemnly, giggling after only a moment. "You're going to love it," he assures him earnestly, and yeah, that last shot was definitely a bad idea.
"Thanks for um. Thanks for taking me out."
Liam shrugs almost bashfully, shoves into him gently.
"We needed to celebrate this," he pauses, looks down at the ground where they're footsteps align. "I needed to celebrate this." He glances up at Zayn out of the corner of his eye, "So how was last night then? I watched Niall pick up a lot of bud so it must have been brilliant."
"Yeah, yeah, it was really good," Zayn says. "But we missed you," he confesses, biting his lip when Liam breaks into a smile, all previous melancholia gone.
"Yeah sorry about that. You know Aiden from the team yeah? He turned twenty one last night so it was a big thing, you know."
"Right yeah, did you get plastered then?"
"Yeah, I had a good time," Liam shrugs, "I wasn't nearly as bad as Aids though. He was making out with Matt for about a minute before he realized that wasn't his girl friend."
Zayn throws his head back with laughter, can imagine perfectly the look on Aiden's face.
"That is an awful nickname, Liam," Zayn says between snorts.
"What? Aids?" He grins a bit wickedly, couples it with an innocent shrug, "I had nothing to do with it."
They turn right on Broadway, make their way uptown past Barnard campus and NoCo library and the last of Columbia's reach into Harlem, and then they're past the bridge, lights from the traffic posts fading into the signs of dingy bars.
"So where are you taking me?" Zayn asks, Liam just hums, nudges him with a shoulder again.
"You'll see soon enough."
They arrive finally outside a small empty looking restaurant, the sign El Porton, missing one O and one T. Liam shoots Zayn an excited grin and after a skeptical glance at his surroundings, Zayn follows his friend inside. The interior is no more appealing. There are a few tables spread unevenly throughout, and a bar where one lone lady sits with the books, long skirt twisted up in the cross of her legs.
Liam's practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and Zayn's starting to think he might still be drunk from last night when the lady looks up and her face splits into a grin.
"Ai dios mio, Liam, ¿eres tu, por verdad?" She slides gracefully off the chair and moves quickly to him, drawing Liam in to kiss both his cheeks and ruffle up his hair. "Pero, Liam, ¿cuanto tiempo? ¿No nos olvidaste?" her voice has turned stern and Zayn can't understand what she's saying but she's got a hand on her hip and a contrasting warm smile.
"Nunca," Liam says firmly, keeping a hand on her waist. "¿Como podría? ¿Y Carolina?"
"Alla, en la cocina. Carolina," she calls, cupping her hands to her mouth, "¡Ven aqui! Mira quien esta."
A beautiful girl around Liam's height emerges from the kitchen, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, long hair folded into a braid, and eyes wide. When she sees Liam she runs, launching herself into him, and he catches her easily, despite her height.
"Liam" she sings, accent thick and settled around his name. "Lindo, ¿que lo que?"
"Nada, todo bien," Liam responds with a wave of his hand, "¿Y tu? ¿Que pases todo bonito?"She nods warmly at him, stepping back to inspect him further, and then her sharp gaze turns to Zayn.
"Who is your friend?" she switches to a careful English, and the woman beside her starts, as if only now realizing Zayn's presence.
"Oh, right, sorry. This is my friend Zayn. Zayn, this is Carolina, and her mother Christina." Carolina leans forward to kiss both his cheeks swiftly and then so does Christina, swiping at the stain of lipstick she leaves behind with a skinny finger.
"Well, make yourself at home. Any friend of Liam's is a friend of ours," Carolina says, pulling out a chair at a table by the window, secluded from the rest of the place by a pole decorated with flags from what Zayn can only assume are Latin American countries.
"You remember," Liam exclaims, eyes alight.
"Where you used to sit and throw peanuts at me when I wasn't looking? How could I forget," Carolina remarks drily. Zayn snorts helplessly at the mental image and Carolina shoots him a bemused smile. "I hope you're not saddling me with another troublemaker," she scolds. Liam lifts one shoulder.
"He takes awhile to warm up so you have some peace left."
Zayn opens his mouth to protest but Liam's already tugging him to the table, a stage whispered, "You're my friend so you're on my side, Zayn, come on," hot at his neck.
"I always make myself a promise that I'm not going to let you surprise me again, and then you manage to outdo yourself every time, Li, bloody hell," Zayn stares with disbelief at Liam from across their table and Liam turns smug.
"Told you, Malik, I've still got -"
"Some secrets, yeah," Zayn shakes his head. "Ok, so spill." For all the smirk Liam's got in his eyes, he shrugs a meager shrug.
"There's nothing to tell. I came here freshman year still caught up in my life back in Florida. I was homesick, and I stumbled across this place, and well. It reminds me of home. I started showing up here so often they had no choice but to get to know me. It's like," he shrugs again, embarrassed, "like a piece of home, I guess."
Zayn nods seriously.
"Guess that's what Louis is for me," he says slowly.
"Have you known him your whole life?" Liam asks.
"Since I can remember, yeah."
"How did you meet?"
Zayn chuckles.
"I don't even remember, honestly. Probably in like, first year at grade school. And probably because he got me into trouble or something. Both our families used to live on the outskirts of Doncaster, so we grew up going to the same schools and all that. When my family moved out to Bradford, Louis' mum let me stay on with him and finish my A-levels."
"And then you ended up here," Liam finishes.
"And then we ended up here," Zayn agrees. "Actually, I've no idea how you talked me into ending up here, exactly," Zayn says, glancing around the room idly, and grinning when Liam rolls his eyes.
"You'll see," Liam scolds. "Patience."
Carolina comes back with a pitcher of sangria and a plate of nachos and dip.
"Are you two ready to order?" she asks politely. Zayn glances down at his forgotten menu and then back up at Liam.
"He'll have what I'm having," Liam says, "Which is the usual," he adds, before Carolina can open her mouth.
"You're so boring," she says affectionately, clearing away their menus and pouring them each a drink.
"This is new," Liam comments, eyeing the drink almost suspiciously and Carolina laughs.
"Boring creature of habit you are," she says, scratching the back of his head, "Go on, Liam, it's good."
"Sangria isn't even from Latin America though," he protests.
"It's good for business, just drink," Carolina says, watching with arms crossed as he takes a sip, closing his eyes to savor the taste.
"Oh wow. Yeah, alright, this is amazing. Go on Zayn, try it," Liam encourages. Zayn eyes his drink warily, knows he should have all his wits about him tonight, the way Liam's looking at him with sparkling eyes and wine stained lips.
On second thought, maybe it's better if he does have a drink. Or five. He takes a sip, lets the rich red wine unfurl over his tongue, made tart by fresh fruit.
"Damn," he says. He takes another sip. "That's really good, thanks, Carolina," he says, smiling brilliantly at her.
"I like him better than you, he's charming," she proclaims to Liam, grinning back at Zayn with a wink. Across the table Liam mutters something about stupid boys and stupid accents.
"Shouldn't you be getting us our food?" he whines. Carolina turns reluctantly away from where she's leaning on Zayn's chair to scowl at Liam.
"Yessir," she stomps off and when she's gone Zayn shoots Liam an innocent grin, nudges him lightly under the table with a foot.
"So how'd you learn Spanish?" Zayn asks him when he's got Liam smiling begrudgingly at him. Liam shrugs.
"My nurse used to speak to me in Spanish sometimes and when I was younger she'd take me all over with her and all her friends spoke Spanish so, I dunno, I just sort of picked it up? Char can speak it too."
"I'm impressed. Unsurprised, but impressed," Zayn quips and Liam blushes.
"Shut up," he mumbles, nudging Zayn back.
Zayn's about three glasses in when Carolina comes back with a plate of fried plaintains and he knows he's had too much when Liam makes a noise of protest at the amount of oil and Like you have anything to worry about, Li trips out of his mouth.
Liam just smiles but Zayn catches the way his eyes darken, the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips. Carolina, thankfully, doesn't comment and Zayn grabs at a slice, folds it into his mouth clumsily.
"Fuck, these are so good," Zayn says, and they are, crunchy and soft in a way that melts on his tongue and fills his mouth with cinnamon sweet. Carolina gives a satisfied smirk, moves away to attend to another table.
And that's when Zayn notices the place has filled up.
"Holy shit, where'd all these people come from?" he asks, genuinely bewildered. How long had they been sitting here?
Liam checks his watch and then looks back up at Zayn with a glint in his eye.
"Not much longer now," he says, and as if on cue, music blares and Zayn starts, head snapping towards the source of the noise. A space has been cleared in the far end of the restaurant and people are getting up, couples are heading towards the dance floor, until it's coming to life with hips and interlaced fingers and slotted thighs. Zayn turns back to Liam with wide eyes.
"You - " is all he manages.
"You wanted to see me dance, didn't you?" and Liam's blushing a little, and smirking a lot, the bastard.
"Fuck."
"Not exactly, but close," Liam agrees casually. Zayn wants to. Fuck. He closes his eyes, prays the small sound he just made was all in his head. When he opens his eyes, Liam's looking away, searching the crowd for something and Zayn takes a deep breath, tries to fit back into his skin.
Carolina reappears at their table suddenly and Liam stands, offers her the crook of his arm, which she takes, giggling slightly and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Do you want to watch from the bar?" Carolina asks knowingly, and Zayn gives a shaky nod, allows himself a moment to focus on standing straight up.
They make their way into the throng of people and Carolina leans into whisper in his ear.
"This is called bachata," she tells him, "Hear the music?" she pressed the beat into Zayn's shoulder with dancing fingers, "It's a four step style, really easy to learn." And then Liam's pulling Carolina into him, parting her legs with a knee and tipping his whole body into the step. He dances like he thoroughly enjoys it, head dipped in close, smile bright and clear. He whispers something to Carolina and she laughs, head thrown back so that Zayn can follow the line of her neck. She's moving easily with Liam, lets him twirl her out and move her whichever way he pleases and Zayn has never wanted so badly to be someone the way he wants to be Carolina at the moment.
"Go on then," someone whispers in his ear suddenly when the music changes and the beat slows up. Zayn turns slowly, hardly able to tear his eyes away from the way Liam dips back into the rhythm of it, adjusts his limbs to the slower tempo, "My daughter can find someone else to dance with," Christina says, and she's smiling, features softened by the hazy light of the dance floor, "Go on," she encourages, and Zayn thinks she's the wisest person in the world, until she turns, abruptly, disappears into the crowd.
Zayn looks back up to see Liam and Carolina making their way towards him and when he's close enough, Zayn tugs him forward by his belt loop, stumbling into him under the weight of the liquor.
"Teach me," he breathes out and he feels Liam's intake of breath against his neck, hears the shallow moan against his ear.
"Fuck. Yeah, yeah, ok," Liam groans, drags him forward to interlace their fingers. He guides Zayn's hand to his waist and brings their bodies flush together, until Zayn can feel the length of Liam's thick cock press up against his thigh. Zayn's feet are moving with Liam's, because there's no space to move otherwise, and Zayn pushes his thigh closer, takes pride in Liam's whimper.
"Shit, shit, sorry, I'm sorry," Liam chants out, hiding embarrassment the crook of Zayn's neck even as he thrusts into Zayn's leg and Zayn shakes his head, nips at Liam's ear until Liam's detangling their fingers to yank his chin up and bring his lips crashing to Zayn's.
It's hungry, their first kiss, and messy and rough and it drives Zayn completely insane. Liam's abandoned all pretenses of dancing and he wraps both hands around Zayn's waist, sneaking fingers under his t-shirt to drag nails along the grooves of his hips. Zayn hisses, bites hard at Liam's lower lip in retaliation, his dick filling up so fast it leaves him dizzy.
And just like that Liam's pulling away abruptly.
"We should go," Liam says, and he's looking studiously at his hands, hands that were just pressing heat into Zayn's skin.
"Liam - " he protests, can't think about anything but want. "Please, Li, I - "
"I can't, Zayn," Liam whispers. He looks up finally and Zayn is caught, can't hear anything but the blood in his ears and the anguish in Liam's voice, "Not like this. You'll ruin me, Zayn. I can't."
He leaves him in the middle of the dance floor and suddenly the world comes rushing back to Zayn, the music loud and the couples giddy and Zayn is stuck there, unmoving with the burden of the exchange. He makes his way out in a trance, realizes that their table is empty and their meal's been paid for, so he grabs his blazer off the back of his chair and pushes his way outside.
It's warm out and Zayn wishes it wasn't, wishes it was cold air that might have shocked him out of drunkeness, given him back some kind of pretense of actual thought.
Liam's waiting for him, leaning heavily against the wall, eyelids heavy. He smiles hesitantly but Zayn can only offer a twisted grimace in return. His blood's running too hot in his veins and his skin feels tight over strained sinews. He takes a deep breath and orders his feet forward, the alcohol reducing him to fuzzy thoughts and clumsy gait.
After a moment, he hears Liam follow.
This isn't how he wanted tonight to go, he thinks. He wanted them to have a good time, a safe time, with no intimate lighting and only very few friendly pats on the back or something. He wanted them to part ways under the lights of Low Library with not so much as a handshake, even and simple, a goodbye of sorts so that Zayn could move on, regain his footing again. He -
(They brush up against each other briefly as one of their paths curves and Zayn looks up to see Liam's looking anxiously at him, lower lip between his teeth.)
- wants to tug at that lower lip until it's swollen, ease the ache with a swipe of tongue. He wants to be on his knees for Liam, get off to the feeling of Liam fucking his mouth, biting down hard on his lip to keep quiet. He wants Liam to fuck him, lips swollen and hanging open as he pants into the crook of Zayn's neck, kisses him sloppily on the side of his head.
And he can't even blame himself for what happened back at the bar, he thinks, with the confidence of a drunk man. No, there are greater men than him that couldn't resist a drunk Liam Payne dressed in all black.
Zayn stumbles a bit when they reach the cobbled College walk, and he blinks until the lights of campus stops swimming before him and he can move again.
"You don't have to walk me home," he slurs out, when he realizes, much too late, that that's exactly what Liam's doing.
"Told Lou I'd bring you home safely, didn't I?" Liam teases softly and the words send a jolt of arousal through Zayn. Fuck but shouldn't it be Zayn taking care of Liam after everything he's done for Zayn? God knows Zayn wants to return the favor, wants to take care of him with his hands and his mouth and his teeth. Fuck. He is so drunk.
"M' so drunk," he says out loud. Liam laughs at him, a gentle sort of rumbling that make Zayn want to lick him, bite at his collarbones. Collarbones that should probably stay hidden for the good of humanity.
"No collarbones for you," he mumbles and Liam grips his elbow, muffles another laugh into his shoulder.
"ID?" Liam prompts when they enter his dorm building. Zayn fumbles for his wallet, muttering disgruntedly.
"I've got it, Liam, I'm not a child," he insists, stabbing at the call elevator button with more force than necessary.
Liam's eyes turn almost predatorial.
"Trust me," he says, eyes tracking up the lines of Zayn's body, "I'm aware."
The elevator door opens and Zayn backs into it, fisting a hand in Liam's shirt and tugging him along until Zayn's got his own back to the wall, and Liam's close enough that Zayn can see the way his pupils have dilated, feel the way his breath turns shallow.
"Yeah?" he growls out, eyes dropping to follow Liam's tongue as it traces his lips. He moves forward to taste but Liam's got a large hand on his chest, holds him back.
Zayn groans, head thudding back against the frame of the elevator.
"Liam," he wrenches out, reaching for him again. When Liam doesn't let up, he switches tactics. "Is this how you'd fuck me then? Hold me down with my hands above my head?" Liam moans in response, eyes falling shut, "Get off on the fact that I was yours and there was nothing I could do about it?"
Liam leans in to nip at Zayn's lower lip, retreating too quickly for Zayn to kiss him properly.
"M'gonna make you beg for it, Zayn," he tells him in a voice that is low and dangerous and curls in Zayn's stomach, "Gonna fucking take you apart, piece by piece until I won't have to hold you down," he leans forward, so he can tug at Zayn's ear with his teeth, "Until you'll want nothing more than to be mine."
"Fuck," Zayn's voice breaks around the word and he's so turned on he can hardly see, but the elevator door opens again and Liam's gone. Zayn forces himself to follow, barely making it out in time.
There are people in the hallway, coming in from bars with hiccups in their steps. Zayn adjusts himself in his trousers, clears his throat against curious eyes. Liam's waiting for him outside the door to his room and they pause before it, searching each other for - something.
The smile on Liam's lips is sweet, almost apologetic, but there's still desire in his eyes, dark and unforgiving and in that moment Zayn realizes it's never going to back to the way it was. Not now that Zayn knows the way Liam tastes, has felt the heat of his skin. He'll never be able to stop wanting that, wanting to take Liam's clothes off, press him into worn sheets. And he wants more than that, doesn't he? Wants to close the space between them in bed and tuck himself into Liam's warmth and kiss him good morning. Wants to take care of him with coffee on late nights and fond scoldings when he works too hard. Wants to meet his sister and take him back to England and touch and stare and hold and - it's probably selfish of him but - he doesn't know how to stop wanting those things, doesn't think he could ever stop wanting those things.
He draws in a breath that shudders with nerves and smiles a smile that is weak with the thoughts that race through him and he doesn't even know where to begin, but he thinks Liam understands because Liam just smiles wider and he cups Zayn's face gently, presses a soft kiss to his forehead and then turns and heads back down the hallway, back home.
--
When Zayn finally pushes open his door, he finds Louis' curled up with his back to the door, asleep in his bed, and so he shucks Harry's blazer and his own jeans and slides in next to him, presses his nose into Louis' shoulder to breathe in his familiar smell.
"If you need a wank, go ahead, only don't expect me to help," Louis mumbles, turning over to brush their noses together. Zayn groans in embarrassment, tries to turn away, but Louis's opened his eyes and now he fixes Zayn with a stern stare.
"So?"
"So," Zayn sighs, moves further into Louis' warmth. When he replies it’s in a small voice and after a long moment, “I’m in trouble.”
"Excellent," Louis nods sideways, closing his eyes with a satisfied smile and wrapping his arms around Zayn tightly.
--
It's Sunday morning which means family brunch, as they've come to affectionately call it. Zayn wakes up with a massive headache but no nausea, thankfully. The shower's running and the other side of his bed is empty, but there's a glass of water and two ibuprofen on the bedside table that Zayn downs hurriedly before settling back into his pillow, drifting back off to sleep.
The next thing he knows, he's getting a pair of sweats thrown at his face. He shoves them off grumpily and opens his eyes cautiously, anticipating a pounding in his head and sighing in relief when there isn't one.
"Feeling alright then?" Louis asks, smiling when Zayn nods warily, "Liam said you were proper smashed."
"You talked to Liam?" Zayn asks, sitting up straighter. Louis just shrugs non-commitally.
"He just texted to tell me to let you sleep in, on account of you were proper smashed last night." Louis's staring hard at Zayn, and then suddenly he comes forward to sit at the edge of the bed by Zayn. His hair is still wet and Zayn follows the trail of a water droplet through one of his strands. "Is everything going to be ok?" Louis asks. Zayn smiles, grateful that Louis somehow understands not to pry.
"Yeah," he says, "I think so. Guess I'll just have to be really careful not to fuck it up."
"You won't, Zayn, you care too much about him," Louis says, interlacing their fingers. "And besides, Niall will surely be on your arse if you do so -"
Zayn wrinkles his nose.
"Isn't she supposed to be on our side?" he asks, a bit disgruntled. "She was our friend first."
"They're nicer to her than we are, mate," Louis says with a wink, "Anyway, go on, put some trousers on. We're late."
--
On the way to John Jay, Zayn throws his arm around Louis, pulls him into his side, and Louis does a quick shuffle, aligns their footsteps.
--
The three of them are already lounging around a corner table when Zayn and Louis enter the dining hall. Zayn's stomach gives a lurch when his eyes land on Liam, dressed once more in his usual oversized sweats and worn hoodie, laying back in his chair with his head on Niall's shoulder and his eyes closed.
He looks like his ordinary self and yet, Zayn's blood has already turned hot with want and the ghosts of Liam's body aligned with his and he wants to press his fingers underneath the soft fabric, leave prints in his skin.
They're still far enough away that Louis can get away with a mischievously whispered never seen you this nervous before and it's enough to turn Zayn determined. He approaches their table, sinks down into the seat pulled close next to Liam.
"Long night, huh?" he asks nonchalantly. Liam starts, and when he sees Zayn's smirk his eyes widen and his skin flushes red.
Zayn didn't think it was possible to want someone so badly.
The rest of the table has erupted into snorts and giggles at Liam's reaction and in the middle of it, Liam leans in close.
"Not nearly long enough," and god does he really need teeth to whisper. Zayn has to clench his hands into fists in his lap at the press of them into the curve of his neck.
Liam moves away again looking smug and Zayn wants to jump him, kiss the look right off his face. Instead, he turns to the group.
"Food?" he asks them. He's in the mood for bananas.
--
"So, library day today?" Harry asks the group when they've cleared away their plates.
"I've got rehearsal downtown," Niall says regretfully, "Fuck me."
"I'm in," Zayn says, shooting Niall a sympathetic look. He turns to Liam hopefully, but Liam shakes his head apologetically.
"Can't, Zayn, I've got a meeting with Coach Ryder and then I've got this thing with the team - " he trails off and Zayn holds back a frustrated groan. It must show on his face anyway because Liam mumbles a quiet I'm sorry into the sleeve of his hoodie. Zayn shrugs, leans into him a bit.
"S'okay, we'll figure it out," he says firmly, hoping Liam catches the double meaning.
"Lou?" Harry asks, but Louis too shakes his head.
"Can't, Haz, I've got that study group thing for Lit Hum, remember? They want to meet in Lerner."
"Rats," Harry frowns, then brightens again. "Looks like it's just me and you Zayner."
"I can hardly wait," Zayn says, slowing down his words to mimic Harry's drawl.
--
They're at the library for six bloody hours and Zayn alternates between periods of productivity and periods of pouting and it's driving him insane. He just wants to. Fuck. He just wants to sort their shit out so he can get his hands on Liam again, or just, feel the strength of his arms around him, or the fondness of his smile.
He tries to focus on his reading, he does, but mostly he just ends up fidgeting agitatedly or running his hands through his hair exasperatedly until finally Harry looks up from across the narrow wooden table they're splitting.
"Wow, it's really hit you hard, huh?" he asks, voice curious and sort of wondering, but not teasing in the slightest, so Zayn tries to bite back his irritation for a second.
"What?"
"This thing. With Liam," he clarifies.
"Yeah," Zayn says truthfully. "Yeah, it has."
"Good," Harry smiles at him kindly, "I'm really glad. I thought what you were telling yourself before was bullshit, just so you know."
Zayn swallows.
"Are you sure?" he can't help but ask.
"Yeah, Zayn," Harry says earnestly, leaning forward a bit and swiping back his hair, "He's happiest around you. That's what this is all about isn't it? Making each other happy. And besides. Everyone's got baggage, haven't they? You've got baggage, and he's got baggage, and Lou and I have baggage, too. The important thing is we try to be the best possible people we can be for each other, yeah?"
"Yeah," Zayn says slowly, "Yeah, you're right. Fuck, you're perfectly right, Haz I have to. Do you think he's home by now?" He checks his phone. "He must be home, right?"
Harry nods, grinning until his dimples show.
"I've got to go see him. You don't mind do you?"
He's barely seen the shake of Harry's head before he's out the door, leaving all his stuff behind and eliciting a few narrowed eyed stares as he passes, bumping into tables and bags on his way.
He runs down College Walk, thinks back to the last time he was headed to Liam's place like this, thinks about the weight he carried with him, thinks about how much things have changed since then.
He's grinning like a crazy person and completely out of breath when he reaches Liam's building. Curves into his hands on his knees to catch his breath in the elevator.
When he gets to Liam's room he knocks, and then opens the door without waiting for an answer. Liam's at his desk, expression startled when he meets Zayn's eyes.
"Are you doing next week's work?" he asks him. Liam shrugs sheepishly.
"It's good to stay ahead -" he begins, but Zayn's crossed the room in two strides and he tugs Liam up by his thin t-shirt, one hand on the curve of his hip and the other fisted in the short hairs at the nape of his neck.
"I'm gonna kiss you," he murmurs softly. He leans in, lips ghosting against Liam's, "And then we're gonna to talk about this, I promise. But first, Li, I have to -"
Liam's already pressing his lips to Zayn's though, letting out a broken moan and fisting his hands in Zayn's shirt to pull him flush against him.
There's no sweetness to it, just a forceful press of tongues, a slight of teeth and Liam's whimpers, and Zayn feels the heat pool in his belly fast.
"Liam," he tries, even as he presses closer, tugs at Liam's bottom lip, "We should -"
"Yeah," Liam breathes out, "Fuck. Take these off." He's sliding Zayn's sweats off, and Zayn helps him on a moan, stepping out of them and kicking them away. He fists his hands in Liam's tee and they separate briefly so Liam can tug it off with one arm.
"Fuck," Zayn says with wonderment, eyes running the length of Liam's torso. Liam blushes deep and Zayn can follow the color down his chest and he traces it with his fingers, a barely there caress.
Liam trembles and Zayn feels it like a jolt of arousal.
"Please," Liam whimpers, keeps his hands clenched into fists at his sides, "Zayn -"
"You're fucking perfect," Zayn groans out, stepping closer to run his hands along the line of Liam's waist teasingly, enjoying the way Liam sways into him, lets his eyes flutter shut.
Zayn unbuckles his belt and thumbs open his trousers and then he's sliding them off, reconnecting their lips.
"Bed," he orders between kisses, pushing Liam back until his knees hit the edge and they topple. Zayn straddles Liam, allows himself a beat to take in the boy beneath him, flushed and messy and Liam.
When Liam opens his eyes, they're dark and dilated and Zayn sucks in a breath at their intensity unwavering.
"M'gonna do my best to be the person you deserve, Liam, I swear to you," he whispers fiercely, and the words take a piece of him with them that he's not sure he'll ever be able to get back and yet leave Zayn somehow more whole than before. He swallows at the shock that flickers across Liam's face, and then Liam sits up, readjusting them so Zayn's straddling his lap.
He searches Zayn's eyes for a long, agonizing moment, and then, finally, he leans forward to kiss him. Zayn meets him halfway with a breath of relief, and this time the kiss is sweet, little licks and hesitant pressure. Zayn draws his arms around Liam's neck, shuffles closer determinedly - and with the press of his cock against Liam's stomach the moment is lost and Liam turns firm again, heady and demanding.
Liam's hands trail over Zayn's torso over his shirt, firing every neuron as they pass, even without the skin to skin contact, until they're slipping into Zayn's pants, pulling at his cock.
Zayn freezes, the touch feeling foreign and strange. He breaks the kiss with a wounded noise, bats Liam's hand away.
"Fuck," he chokes out.
Liam goes rigid.
"Did I hurt you?" he asks anxiously.
"No, fuck. I just. I haven't been. I haven't been touched like that in a really long time," he forces himself to say. Liam's opening his mouth to speak again, forehead creased in confusion and Zayn pleads silently with him, desperately does not want to admit He never bothered to touch me out loud.
When Liam sees the look on Zayn's face his mouth snaps shut, expression clouding with anger. He shifts away slightly, puts space between them, and Zayn tries not to pay attention to the way his stomach bottoms out at the loss of contact.
"Fuck, wait Li. I'm sorry, I. Please. You can. Whatever you want," he swallows against the bile rising in his throat, "Please," he whispers, and he's not even sure what he's asking for, just knows he needs the pressure of their limbs together again and it must show on his face because Liam crowds back into him with a choked noise, wrapping Zayn in strong arms and pressing kisses to the top of his head.
"I'm not upset at you, ok," Liam says, and Zayn can tell he's straining to keep his voice even, "I'm just. I need a moment because I'm just so angry that - fuck," he takes a deep breath, "That you had so much less than you deserve. And I don't want this to be about that, I want this to be about us."
Zayn just shrugs his shoulders. He looks down at where Liam's interlaced their fingers and wishes suddenly that they didn't fit this well together because he's fucked this up already and it was probably an awful idea to begin with and -
"Hey, no, don't do that," Liam cups his jaw, gently forces him to look up, "This is not a bad idea, Zayn. This," he leans forward to press silly kisses to Zayn's lips, "is probably the best idea we've ever had," until Zayn is forced to give him a reluctant smile, curl in closer to him. "Let me show you Zayn," and his voice drops low and settles in Zayn's stomach and he turns their kisses hot again, "Let me show you what it's supposed to be like."
Zayn snorts.
"M'not a school girl virgin, Li," but he doesn't move away, and suddenly Liam's flipping them over so effortlessly Zayn doesn't have a chance to be surprised. Zayn lands on his back with a groan that is all parts arousal again.
"Know you're not," Liam murmurs, eyes dark and dilated from where he straddles Zayn. Zayn arches into him.
"Bloody fucking hell," he reaches for Liam once more, but Liam snags his wrists with a large palm, tugs his hands above his head.
"Let me show you. Let me take care of you," Liam repeats and Zayn doesn't know how to let him do that and so he diverts the weight of the exchange with a feeble attempt at a smirk.
"So I was right then?" Zayn sidesteps him, wriggling his hands uselessly against Liam's grip. Liam flushes, leans forward to nip at Zayn's ear in retaliation.
"You look so good spread out for me like this," he soothes the bite with a lick, "God do you know how hard it's been to keep my hands off you, fuck. I want to drive you crazy."
"Liam," Zayn whines breathlessly, arching into his touch, "Let me - "
"Take this off," Liam interrupts him, hand snaking down to snag at the end of his tee. Zayn's entire body goes limp and he bites his lip.
"Bruises aren't exactly sexy, Liam," he says darkly, averting his gaze and willing himself not to flush.
"You couldn't be anything but sexy," Liam counters firmly and Zayn rolls his eyes in embarrassment, "C'mon Zayn, wanna see you. Please?" And the way Liam's looking at him Zayn can hardly say no, not to those wide eyes or that hopeful smile, or the blur of arousal and fondness that folds Liam's features. He gives a tiny, hesitant nod and Liam lights up. He sits up, runs big hands down the length of Zayn's torso before pulling up at the ends of the shirt, waiting until Zayn lifts up to tug it over his head.
When Zayn finally gathers the courage to look at Liam, there's a gentle veneration in his gaze and a shyness in the turn of his smile that steals Zayn's breath away. Liam presses a soft kiss behind Zayn's ear and Zayn shudders helplessly, whimper caught in the back of his throat.
"Beautiful," Liam threads into his skin between nips and licks.
"Liam -" Zayn protests feebly, not able to quite shed the shame that accompanies the way Liam's laid him out, bare and vulnerable.
"You're so breathtakingly beautiful, Zayn," he kisses down Zayn's neck softly, spending time on each inch until Zayn is achingly hard and barely biting back his desperation and still, Liam doesn't let up.
"Fucking gorgeous," he murmurs, mouthing the words down Zayn's chest, pausing to pull at a nipple with his teeth, soothing the sharpness with a swipe of tongue. Every touch goes straight to Zayn's cock and Zayn can't stop trembling, digs his fingers into his palm for the distraction.
Sexy is written with teeth underneath Zayn's heart and stunning is tongued where Zayn takes a breath and alluring is kissed over his stomach until Zayn is writhing uncontrollably, a litany of pleaseliampleasepleasefuck falling from Zayn's lips. He's not sure he can take a second more of the torture and even then, Liam doesn't stop.
He presses a kiss to the flesh of Zayn's thigh as he slides down Zayn's pants. "Ravishing," he teases into Zayn's knee, and Zayn has tears in his eyes and he's not sure if they're from Liam's words or the way he sets Zayn's entire body on fire with want.
"Can I?" Liam asks him from between his legs, intention clear in the way he licks his lips. Zayn closes his eyes and shudders as desire courses through his veins. "Zayn?"
"You don't - you don't have to," Zayn gasps out, "Let me do you -"
"I want to though, Zayn," Liam murmurs, "Want to taste you, want to let you fuck my mouth, please, Zayn. Let me take care of you."
"Fuck," Zayn groans, meeting Liam's hooded gaze, "Fuck, yeah ok, yeah."
When Liam finally brings his mouth to Zayn's cock Zayn's blind with need, can't think past Liam's tongue on him. Liam swallows him down to the base with a moan that's filthy and gorgeous.
Zayn comes with a sob and Liam's name like a prayer on his lips.
He feels boneless and heavy and blessed and he has to blink back tears in the aftershocks, mind fuzzy and blissfully blank.
Liam stays between Zayn's legs, presses kisses in the crease of Zayn's thigh, and Zayn's dick doesn't even get the chance to soften before Liam's mouthing at his balls again, purposeful.
"Wanna make you come again," he whispers, thumbs swiping up Zayn's legs, leaving goosebumps, "Can you do that for me Zayn? Can you come again for me?"
no, he wants to say, no, you've taken everything already but he finds himself nodding.
"Anything," is what he does say, and it's a promise and Liam knows it too. Something flashes in his eyes, and then he's helping to push Zayn's knees up to his chest, careful and tender.
A warm breath is all the warning Zayn gets before Liam's pressing a kiss to Zayn's rim, and Zayn bucks up, heat rushing under his skin, back arching almost painfully. And then Liam's licking into his hole, tongue fucking him unforgivingly and Zayn's body is clenching and unclenching and the line blurs between pain and pleasure.
"Please," he gasps out, pushing his hips down into the touch, "Fuck, Liam, I need - "
"What do you need?" Liam asks him, teases him with the tip of his tongue.
"I can't - " Zayn chokes out, "Please -"
Liam relents, wraps a hand round his painfully oversensitive dick and thumbs at the head, and with his tongue, curls into Zayn's soft spot and Zayn sees stars, white heat and black nothing, and he comes with a whimper that starts from his toes.
When he comes to, Liam's left the bed and Zayn watches through eyes half closed as he wets a wash cloth and turns off the light. He navigates back to Zayn with the dim light from the window, cleans Zayn's belly. When he dabs gently at Zayn's softened cock, Zayn hisses and tears escape and Liam kisses them away with soft murmurings of encouragement.
He gets up to discard the wash cloth and then he's back, sinking heavily onto Zayn's thin frame and laying his head in the crook of Zayn's neck.
"Are you - Are you nuzzling me?" Zayn manages to ask him incredulously, voice almost nonexistent. He feels a little off, unsure of himself, but Liam just hums in response, rubs his head against Zayn's neck.
Zayn can only laugh weakly, wrap still trembling arms tight around Liam.
"Are you ok?" Liam asks softly, shifting slightly so he tumbles to Zayn's side. Zayn's hand stays firm to Liam's hip, silently demanding that he close the gap between them again.
"Yeah," he mumbles, sleepy and dazed, "I've never - "
"I know," Liam says.
"Thank you," he mumbles finally, pulling Liam impossibly closer, until Liam's legs slot between his and his erection presses insistently into Zayn's thigh.
Zayn panics.
"Shit, Liam, I should have - I never should have let you - Fuck. Let me blow you or -" he swallows, "You can fuck me? I'm so sorry, I -"
"Shh, Zayn, don't -" Liam tries, but Zayn is already sitting up, tugging at the waist of Liam's pants.
"God, you must be furious, fuck. I'm not like this normally, I swear. I'm - I'm really good. I can be really good, Liam, I promise - "
"Zayn," Liam raises his voice just a fraction, cups his face with a neverending amount of tenderness. "You're fine, Zayn," he whispers, infinitely patient, "I'm not mad. I wanted to take care of you, ok? Tonight was about you." He presses a soft kiss to Zayn's forehead.
"But you -" Zayn says weakly.
"S'okay," Liam interrupts, voice quiet but firm, "I'll live. Just. Can you - I mean. Will you stay?"
Zayn lets out a surprised, almost hysterical laugh.
"I'm not sure I could move even if you wanted me out," he says slowly, considering the boy in bed with him. Liam looks at him with wide eyes, nervous and uncertain and Zayn sucks in a breath at how much Liam's giving back, at how much Liam's letting him keep. He lowers them both gently back to the bed, curving into Liam to rest his head on Liam's chest. "I'm here, Liam, yeah? I'm staying," Zayn tells him, quiet and sure.
Their feet tangle together and Zayn brings an arm around Liam's waist, tucks his head underneath Liam's shoulder and Liam breathes out relief and pulls Zayn in closer.
"This is all I need for now, ok?" Liam whispers, "This, for as long as you'll have me."
--
This time, Zayn wakes up in a tangle of too hot limbs and sweaty sheets but he stays put when he looks up to see Liam's still sleeping soundly, mouth slightly parted, arms curled around Zayn. He grins to himself, nuzzles quietly into Liam's chest, runs his fingers over his naked torso.
Liam makes a small noise, a content sigh, pushes closer into Zayn like he's drawn to him, and Zayn can't resist, he twists up to press his lips to Liam's, kissing him until he responds back slowly, bringing him back from dreams.
"Good morning," he kisses into his mouth, smiling against him. Liam groans softly and Zayn watches the tips of his eyelashes as they flutter open. When he focuses on Zayn his smile widens into something silly and so warm that Zayn has to duck his head, hide the blush that comes fast to color his cheeks.
"Good morning," Liam returns, cupping his cheek to turn his head, kiss Zayn again, morning breath be darned.
Zayn fits himself to Liam's body, turns the kisses deep despite Liam's valiant attempts to remain sweet, until they're breathing heavy through bruised lips.
"What time is it?" Liam asks, arching into Zayn to kiss him once more.
"Probably time to get up for class," Zayn groans out. He turns to check and Liam takes advantage of the angle to press kisses to his neck. "Liam," he protests shakily, turning his head despite himself to give him more access.
"Hmm," Liam hums, nipping lightly. "I think I left hickies last night," he says thoughtfully.
"Fuck," Zayn moans, giving in and turning to kiss Liam properly, "We've got class, Li -"
Liam makes a noise of agreement in his throat, and after one last lingering kiss he rolls over Zayn to stumble out of bed, groaning with the effort. His hair stands up on end and his pants fall low and twisted on his hips and Zayn wants him back in bed right now.
"God, I can't believe you could stand to kiss me, my breath tastes horrible," he wrinkles his nose, padding off to the bathroom to brush his teeth with the door open. He comes out with his toothbrush still in his mouth.
"You wanna borrow a shirt or something?" he asks with his mouth full.
"And like, a notebook and pen," Zayn adds sheepishly, getting out of bed and slipping back into his pants. Liam rolls his eyes, spits into the sink.
"What'd you bring with you last night?"
"Err," Zayn rubs the back of his head, "I may or may not have dropped everything and ran here from the library. Shit I hope Styles grabbed my stuff."
Liam cackles.
"Not an ounce of patience, Malik," he teases him.
"Not at all," he growls playfully, "Come here," he demands as soon as Liam's finished washing his mouth. Liam's eyes are dancing but he moves obediently to Zayn, places his hands around his waist and thumbs down the lines of Zayn's hips.
"You rang?" he asks, ducking his head playfully to look up at Zayn from under his lashes.
"Shameless," Zayn scolds. Liam's eyes widen indignantly but Zayn is kissing him before he has a chance to object.
--
In the elevator Liam is all silly giggles and shy eye contact until Zayn rolls his eyes, trying desperately to look exasperated and not terribly fond.
"Out with it Payne," he orders, just as the elevator door opens. Liam shrugs and shakes his head, says good morning to the desk attendant with a cheery wave as they pass.
"I just really like you in my clothes," he grins innocently and unabashedly and Zayn will not be fond, damnit.
"Really? 'Cause I think I just look stupid," Zayn grumbles out. He's wearing a Columbia wrestling tee that he probably swore he'd never be caught dead in at one point in his life, and one of Liam's sweatshirt's that's like three sizes too big, stretches past his fingers and keeps falling off his shoulder.
"Well to be fair, the sweatshirt's a bit big on me too," Liam concedes. "But not by that much," he adds, and Zayn swats at him with an oversized sleeve.
"The cheek on you this morning, christ," Zayn scolds teasingly.
"Yeah, well I started my day out real enjoyably, it's put me in a pretty good mood," Liam responds seriously. Zayn turns to him. They're in the middle of College Walk and they've got to part ways, but -
"Liam -" he tries.
"Yeah?"
Zayn sighs. "I hope the rest of your day's good as well," he says, and Liam smiles brightly at him.
"Thanks, you too," Liam says warmly. "I'll see you later?"
"Yeah, later." Liam turns to go, but Zayn catches his wrist.
"Wait," he swallows, and then cups Liam's face with one sweatshirt clad hand and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. He lets his eyes fall shut, lets himself take in the feel of this other boy pressed against him, the heat of the day against the back of his neck. The sounds of students and professors grow muted until Zayn can hear only his heart beating in his ears and the warm sigh Liam lets out against him.
When he pulls back Liam's eyes are still closed so Zayn steeples their foreheads together, traces his bottom lip with his teeth.
"Are we really going to do this then?" Liam asks him softly, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal raw longing. Zayn swallows.
"If you still want to I mean. After last night -. I mean. I want to. So. If you want to then - " he trails off, nervous despite everything.
"If I want to," Liam repeats with a shake of his head, "God Zayn you are. Yes. Yes, I want to. Of course I want to," he leans in to kiss him again, ends up pressing a smile into Zayn's lips instead, "Want to dress you in my clothes and keep you in my bed in the mornings and fuck I want to keep kissing you but I'm gonna be late to class."
Zayn laughs, low and fond and happy. He presses a quick kiss to the corner of Liam's mouth.
"Go on then, I'll see you later."
"Fuck," Liam says, and he's grinning wide and a little disbelievingly and he nods. "I'll see you soon." He presses another kiss to Zayn's mouth.
"Go on Payne," Zayn scolds and if he can't feel anything but fondness again for the rest of his life it'll be all Liam Payne's fault.
"Yeah yeah, I'm going," he makes to move back, "God, do I look this irresistible in my clothes or is it just you?"
"Liam."
"Ok, ok, really going now, I promise," he kisses Zayn's temple, "Bye," he says softly.
"Bye, Li."
--
He really has no idea what goes on in his next two classes.
author snuffleslove
pairing zayn/liam, harry/louis, girl!niall
word count 60k
rating pg-13 (now)
warnings slash, swearing, drugs, genderswap, abuse, domestic violence, dub-con
summary zayn and louis take on columbia (university!au)
a/n AU where the boys are international students at columbia university and new york city is taken by storm.
"Oh my god, please say you all have clothes under there," Niall exclaims when she barges in, voice high with incredulity. Harry grunts a little.
"Zayn's not wearing trousers, can feel his hairy legs," he mumbles.
"Hey, this is my bed," Zayn throws out, too sleepy to sound indignant. Niall throws her head back and laughs.
"Oh my god," she repeats, toeing off her shoes and jumping into bed to press her cold feet to Zayn's where they hang outside the blanket.
"We should start locking our door," Zayn grumbles, shifting to move away from the cold. "Fuck Ni, your feet are like ice." She just giggles a little, settles in on top of Louis over the blankets and pillows her head in her arms over his chest.
"What're you doing here," Louis mumbles, not opening his eyes.
"Uh, it's five thirty? Liam's instructed us to help Zayn figure out what to wear for tonight?" she reminds them sternly. Zayn bolts upright, nearly dislodging Harry,"Wait, have the three of you actually not gotten out of bed yet?"
"Fuck. Liam. I'm not sure this is such a good idea," Zayn tries, watching as Niall pulls herself off the bed gracefully, starts heading towards his closet to rummage through it. "Maybe I should -"
She whirls around, hair flying.
"Maybe you should what? Cancel?" she arches an eyebrow disdainfully, "He's not a child Zayn, he's a big boy, he can take care of himself. He knows what he wants and he knows what you want and he's made his choice to spend time with you and you have no business trying to protecthim or whatever fuckall idea you've got going on in your head." Zayn stares at her, swallows.
"Marry me," Harry turns to face her.
"Me too," Louis seconds, tucking his chin in Harry's neck. Niall spares them an eye roll before turning back to Zayn.
"If you don't like spending time with him, if he makes you angry or upset, if you think he's pressuring you into something you don't want, go ahead, cancel on him. But otherwise Zayn? Just bloody go, enjoy yourself for once, ok? Believe it or not, you deserve at least that."
Zayn heaves a heavy sigh. She's right, of course. And he did tell Louis he'd do this one thing. If it turns out badly, there's always tomorrow, right?
"What have you got for me then?"
Niall grants him a small satisfied smile and Harry lets out a cheer which turns into a giggle fast as Louis rolls him over forcefully.
"You two sort that, Harry and I will just. Don't mind us we'll be here -" he leans in to kiss Harry, cupping the back of his neck and pulling him close.
Zayn throws a pillow at them as he leaves bed.
"This," Niall says, pulling out a navy blue blazer that -
"That's not mine though," he turns confusedly to the pair on the bed and Louis leans up a bit to take a look.
"S'Harry's," he tells him matter-of-factly. Zayn raises an eyebrow.
"How are your boyfriend's clothes ending up in my closet?" Louis gives a horizontal shrug.
"You tell me. You two going at it behind my back then?" he asks, tickling Harry. Harry squirms and giggles.
"Don't start with me Tomlinson, I've got like a foot on you and my hands were made for tickling."
"Oh yeah?" Louis quirks an eyebrow, his voice goes low, "I thought they were made for something else -" Harry groans with the rest of the room.
"Oh my god, Lou," he mutters, "Shut up."
"No?" Louis asks innocently, "I seem to recall a moment not too long ago where there was some bragging going on about -"
"Oh my god," Harry repeats, pulling the blankets up over his face. Niall cackles.
"You two are perfect," she says sweetly. Harry groans again, only peeking out of the blankets to look at Zayn.
"Wear it," he says, "It'll look good on you."
"Everything looks good on Zayn and his cheek bones," Louis affirms, kissing the part of Harry's forehead that sticks out from under the covers as a way of apology. Harry pulls him down for a real kiss, eyes smiling.
"Shut up," Zayn mumbles, turning his attention back to Niall. She stuffs a pair of jeans, plain white shirt and Harry's blazer into him with an amused smile.
"Try these," she orders. Zayn fumbles a bit under her gaze, but manages to tug on his jeans. When he has to remove his shirt he looks up at Niall, fingers playing with the edge of the tee, eyes questioning.
"Go on," she coaxes, voice soft. She averts her eyes when he tugs the shirt off, biting her lip to keep a reaction from escaping, but Zayn hears a sharp intake of breath from behind him.
"Sorry," he says to Harry without turning, tugging on the new shirt as fast as he can.
"Don't fucking apologize, Zayn, christ," Harry tells him fiercely. Niall helps him shrug on the blazer and then he eyes himself in the mirror, adjusting the lapels.
"Thanks, yeah? For this," he says to Harry by way of reconciliation. Harry just nods and Zayn knows they're square. He turns back to the mirror, studies himself. He looks good, if he's being honest with himself. Harry's blazer hangs off him a little bit but it suits him still and Niall's chosen his favorite pair of jeans, of course she has. He runs his hands through his hair to straighten his quiff, allows himself a small satisfied smile.
Niall moves in front of him, pulls his chains out over his shirt.
"You're gonna have a really good time tonight," she says confidently, fidgeting with the hem of his blazer. Zayn cups her hand. thanks, i love you. From the bed, Louis stands up, moves to the fridge and then to the cupboard and then places a shot glass and a bottle of rum on the table.
"Liquid courage?" he asks, and for once he's not taking the piss.
"Yeah, yeah, let me just.brush my teeth."
"Brush after," Harry suggests. Zayn nods, downs the two shots Louis pours for him with a wince and a whine, taking Niall's proffered glass of water. Not the ideal chaser, but it'll do.
He brushes his teeth with the bathroom door open, and over the sound of the running water he can just make out the concerned murmurs of his three best friends.
By the time Liam finally shows up at his door, Zayn's a proper mess. He insisted on taking one more shot that Louis poured him hesitantly and now he's anxious buzzed, energy filled and unable to sit still.
The sight of Liam stops him short though. He's smiling through the door frame at the four of them, his cheeks coloring when Niall lets out a low whistle.
"Damn, I didn't think you owned a pair of trousers that weren't Columbia sweats, Li, but you clean up nice," Louis remarks almost casually, almost. Liam just grins at him.
"Thanks Lou. You ready to go?" he asks Zayn. Zayn manages to use the small amount brain cells that haven't short circuited to string together a few coherent thoughts. One, Liam looks really good in all black. Two, Liam has really nice collarbones. Three, he is fucked.
"I uh yeah," Zayn manages, making to head straight out the door. Niall tuts.
"Shoes, Zayn?" she reminds him. Zayn blushes. It takes him way too long to toe on a pair of shoes. He makes to leave again but Louis holds out a hand to stop him.
"Wallet?" he asks.
"Fuck," Zayn curses, fumbling around to find it. Liam's laughing at him heartily.
"Don't tease him Haz," Liam giggles. Zayn turns to find Harry's holding up his wallet for him.
"Got it," Harry says innocently from where he'd fished out Zayn's trousers from yesterday. He slides it into Zayn's back pocket and gives his bum a friendly encouraging pat. "Go on you two, have fun."
"Don't bring my baby home too late," Louis says sternly, eyes dancing. Liam offers him a small salute and encloses Zayn's wrist with a warm hand.
"C'mon, Zayn," he smiles excitedly, "Let's get out of here."
In the elevator Zayn gets a chance to take him in quietly and uninterrupted. He's wearing a black dress shirt that's tight around his shoulders and unbuttoned so that the lines of his collarbones carve a path to his neck as well as black fitted trousers and black shoes. He's rolled up his sleeves over the muscle of his forearms and he looks. Really good. When he looks back up at Liam, Liam's giving him a small amused smile.
"Do I pass then?" he asks with a chuckle. Zayn swallows. Pass is probably the biggest understatement of Zayn's existence at the moment.
"We must be going some place fancy," Zayn says out loud. Liam nods.
""ve put on my Sunday best for you," he says solemnly, giggling after only a moment. "You're going to love it," he assures him earnestly, and yeah, that last shot was definitely a bad idea.
"Thanks for um. Thanks for taking me out."
Liam shrugs almost bashfully, shoves into him gently.
"We needed to celebrate this," he pauses, looks down at the ground where they're footsteps align. "I needed to celebrate this." He glances up at Zayn out of the corner of his eye, "So how was last night then? I watched Niall pick up a lot of bud so it must have been brilliant."
"Yeah, yeah, it was really good," Zayn says. "But we missed you," he confesses, biting his lip when Liam breaks into a smile, all previous melancholia gone.
"Yeah sorry about that. You know Aiden from the team yeah? He turned twenty one last night so it was a big thing, you know."
"Right yeah, did you get plastered then?"
"Yeah, I had a good time," Liam shrugs, "I wasn't nearly as bad as Aids though. He was making out with Matt for about a minute before he realized that wasn't his girl friend."
Zayn throws his head back with laughter, can imagine perfectly the look on Aiden's face.
"That is an awful nickname, Liam," Zayn says between snorts.
"What? Aids?" He grins a bit wickedly, couples it with an innocent shrug, "I had nothing to do with it."
They turn right on Broadway, make their way uptown past Barnard campus and NoCo library and the last of Columbia's reach into Harlem, and then they're past the bridge, lights from the traffic posts fading into the signs of dingy bars.
"So where are you taking me?" Zayn asks, Liam just hums, nudges him with a shoulder again.
"You'll see soon enough."
They arrive finally outside a small empty looking restaurant, the sign El Porton, missing one O and one T. Liam shoots Zayn an excited grin and after a skeptical glance at his surroundings, Zayn follows his friend inside. The interior is no more appealing. There are a few tables spread unevenly throughout, and a bar where one lone lady sits with the books, long skirt twisted up in the cross of her legs.
Liam's practically bouncing on the balls of his feet and Zayn's starting to think he might still be drunk from last night when the lady looks up and her face splits into a grin.
"Ai dios mio, Liam, ¿eres tu, por verdad?" She slides gracefully off the chair and moves quickly to him, drawing Liam in to kiss both his cheeks and ruffle up his hair. "Pero, Liam, ¿cuanto tiempo? ¿No nos olvidaste?" her voice has turned stern and Zayn can't understand what she's saying but she's got a hand on her hip and a contrasting warm smile.
"Nunca," Liam says firmly, keeping a hand on her waist. "¿Como podría? ¿Y Carolina?"
"Alla, en la cocina. Carolina," she calls, cupping her hands to her mouth, "¡Ven aqui! Mira quien esta."
A beautiful girl around Liam's height emerges from the kitchen, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, long hair folded into a braid, and eyes wide. When she sees Liam she runs, launching herself into him, and he catches her easily, despite her height.
"Liam" she sings, accent thick and settled around his name. "Lindo, ¿que lo que?"
"Nada, todo bien," Liam responds with a wave of his hand, "¿Y tu? ¿Que pases todo bonito?"She nods warmly at him, stepping back to inspect him further, and then her sharp gaze turns to Zayn.
"Who is your friend?" she switches to a careful English, and the woman beside her starts, as if only now realizing Zayn's presence.
"Oh, right, sorry. This is my friend Zayn. Zayn, this is Carolina, and her mother Christina." Carolina leans forward to kiss both his cheeks swiftly and then so does Christina, swiping at the stain of lipstick she leaves behind with a skinny finger.
"Well, make yourself at home. Any friend of Liam's is a friend of ours," Carolina says, pulling out a chair at a table by the window, secluded from the rest of the place by a pole decorated with flags from what Zayn can only assume are Latin American countries.
"You remember," Liam exclaims, eyes alight.
"Where you used to sit and throw peanuts at me when I wasn't looking? How could I forget," Carolina remarks drily. Zayn snorts helplessly at the mental image and Carolina shoots him a bemused smile. "I hope you're not saddling me with another troublemaker," she scolds. Liam lifts one shoulder.
"He takes awhile to warm up so you have some peace left."
Zayn opens his mouth to protest but Liam's already tugging him to the table, a stage whispered, "You're my friend so you're on my side, Zayn, come on," hot at his neck.
"I always make myself a promise that I'm not going to let you surprise me again, and then you manage to outdo yourself every time, Li, bloody hell," Zayn stares with disbelief at Liam from across their table and Liam turns smug.
"Told you, Malik, I've still got -"
"Some secrets, yeah," Zayn shakes his head. "Ok, so spill." For all the smirk Liam's got in his eyes, he shrugs a meager shrug.
"There's nothing to tell. I came here freshman year still caught up in my life back in Florida. I was homesick, and I stumbled across this place, and well. It reminds me of home. I started showing up here so often they had no choice but to get to know me. It's like," he shrugs again, embarrassed, "like a piece of home, I guess."
Zayn nods seriously.
"Guess that's what Louis is for me," he says slowly.
"Have you known him your whole life?" Liam asks.
"Since I can remember, yeah."
"How did you meet?"
Zayn chuckles.
"I don't even remember, honestly. Probably in like, first year at grade school. And probably because he got me into trouble or something. Both our families used to live on the outskirts of Doncaster, so we grew up going to the same schools and all that. When my family moved out to Bradford, Louis' mum let me stay on with him and finish my A-levels."
"And then you ended up here," Liam finishes.
"And then we ended up here," Zayn agrees. "Actually, I've no idea how you talked me into ending up here, exactly," Zayn says, glancing around the room idly, and grinning when Liam rolls his eyes.
"You'll see," Liam scolds. "Patience."
Carolina comes back with a pitcher of sangria and a plate of nachos and dip.
"Are you two ready to order?" she asks politely. Zayn glances down at his forgotten menu and then back up at Liam.
"He'll have what I'm having," Liam says, "Which is the usual," he adds, before Carolina can open her mouth.
"You're so boring," she says affectionately, clearing away their menus and pouring them each a drink.
"This is new," Liam comments, eyeing the drink almost suspiciously and Carolina laughs.
"Boring creature of habit you are," she says, scratching the back of his head, "Go on, Liam, it's good."
"Sangria isn't even from Latin America though," he protests.
"It's good for business, just drink," Carolina says, watching with arms crossed as he takes a sip, closing his eyes to savor the taste.
"Oh wow. Yeah, alright, this is amazing. Go on Zayn, try it," Liam encourages. Zayn eyes his drink warily, knows he should have all his wits about him tonight, the way Liam's looking at him with sparkling eyes and wine stained lips.
On second thought, maybe it's better if he does have a drink. Or five. He takes a sip, lets the rich red wine unfurl over his tongue, made tart by fresh fruit.
"Damn," he says. He takes another sip. "That's really good, thanks, Carolina," he says, smiling brilliantly at her.
"I like him better than you, he's charming," she proclaims to Liam, grinning back at Zayn with a wink. Across the table Liam mutters something about stupid boys and stupid accents.
"Shouldn't you be getting us our food?" he whines. Carolina turns reluctantly away from where she's leaning on Zayn's chair to scowl at Liam.
"Yessir," she stomps off and when she's gone Zayn shoots Liam an innocent grin, nudges him lightly under the table with a foot.
"So how'd you learn Spanish?" Zayn asks him when he's got Liam smiling begrudgingly at him. Liam shrugs.
"My nurse used to speak to me in Spanish sometimes and when I was younger she'd take me all over with her and all her friends spoke Spanish so, I dunno, I just sort of picked it up? Char can speak it too."
"I'm impressed. Unsurprised, but impressed," Zayn quips and Liam blushes.
"Shut up," he mumbles, nudging Zayn back.
Zayn's about three glasses in when Carolina comes back with a plate of fried plaintains and he knows he's had too much when Liam makes a noise of protest at the amount of oil and Like you have anything to worry about, Li trips out of his mouth.
Liam just smiles but Zayn catches the way his eyes darken, the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips. Carolina, thankfully, doesn't comment and Zayn grabs at a slice, folds it into his mouth clumsily.
"Fuck, these are so good," Zayn says, and they are, crunchy and soft in a way that melts on his tongue and fills his mouth with cinnamon sweet. Carolina gives a satisfied smirk, moves away to attend to another table.
And that's when Zayn notices the place has filled up.
"Holy shit, where'd all these people come from?" he asks, genuinely bewildered. How long had they been sitting here?
Liam checks his watch and then looks back up at Zayn with a glint in his eye.
"Not much longer now," he says, and as if on cue, music blares and Zayn starts, head snapping towards the source of the noise. A space has been cleared in the far end of the restaurant and people are getting up, couples are heading towards the dance floor, until it's coming to life with hips and interlaced fingers and slotted thighs. Zayn turns back to Liam with wide eyes.
"You - " is all he manages.
"You wanted to see me dance, didn't you?" and Liam's blushing a little, and smirking a lot, the bastard.
"Fuck."
"Not exactly, but close," Liam agrees casually. Zayn wants to. Fuck. He closes his eyes, prays the small sound he just made was all in his head. When he opens his eyes, Liam's looking away, searching the crowd for something and Zayn takes a deep breath, tries to fit back into his skin.
Carolina reappears at their table suddenly and Liam stands, offers her the crook of his arm, which she takes, giggling slightly and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"Do you want to watch from the bar?" Carolina asks knowingly, and Zayn gives a shaky nod, allows himself a moment to focus on standing straight up.
They make their way into the throng of people and Carolina leans into whisper in his ear.
"This is called bachata," she tells him, "Hear the music?" she pressed the beat into Zayn's shoulder with dancing fingers, "It's a four step style, really easy to learn." And then Liam's pulling Carolina into him, parting her legs with a knee and tipping his whole body into the step. He dances like he thoroughly enjoys it, head dipped in close, smile bright and clear. He whispers something to Carolina and she laughs, head thrown back so that Zayn can follow the line of her neck. She's moving easily with Liam, lets him twirl her out and move her whichever way he pleases and Zayn has never wanted so badly to be someone the way he wants to be Carolina at the moment.
"Go on then," someone whispers in his ear suddenly when the music changes and the beat slows up. Zayn turns slowly, hardly able to tear his eyes away from the way Liam dips back into the rhythm of it, adjusts his limbs to the slower tempo, "My daughter can find someone else to dance with," Christina says, and she's smiling, features softened by the hazy light of the dance floor, "Go on," she encourages, and Zayn thinks she's the wisest person in the world, until she turns, abruptly, disappears into the crowd.
Zayn looks back up to see Liam and Carolina making their way towards him and when he's close enough, Zayn tugs him forward by his belt loop, stumbling into him under the weight of the liquor.
"Teach me," he breathes out and he feels Liam's intake of breath against his neck, hears the shallow moan against his ear.
"Fuck. Yeah, yeah, ok," Liam groans, drags him forward to interlace their fingers. He guides Zayn's hand to his waist and brings their bodies flush together, until Zayn can feel the length of Liam's thick cock press up against his thigh. Zayn's feet are moving with Liam's, because there's no space to move otherwise, and Zayn pushes his thigh closer, takes pride in Liam's whimper.
"Shit, shit, sorry, I'm sorry," Liam chants out, hiding embarrassment the crook of Zayn's neck even as he thrusts into Zayn's leg and Zayn shakes his head, nips at Liam's ear until Liam's detangling their fingers to yank his chin up and bring his lips crashing to Zayn's.
It's hungry, their first kiss, and messy and rough and it drives Zayn completely insane. Liam's abandoned all pretenses of dancing and he wraps both hands around Zayn's waist, sneaking fingers under his t-shirt to drag nails along the grooves of his hips. Zayn hisses, bites hard at Liam's lower lip in retaliation, his dick filling up so fast it leaves him dizzy.
And just like that Liam's pulling away abruptly.
"We should go," Liam says, and he's looking studiously at his hands, hands that were just pressing heat into Zayn's skin.
"Liam - " he protests, can't think about anything but want. "Please, Li, I - "
"I can't, Zayn," Liam whispers. He looks up finally and Zayn is caught, can't hear anything but the blood in his ears and the anguish in Liam's voice, "Not like this. You'll ruin me, Zayn. I can't."
He leaves him in the middle of the dance floor and suddenly the world comes rushing back to Zayn, the music loud and the couples giddy and Zayn is stuck there, unmoving with the burden of the exchange. He makes his way out in a trance, realizes that their table is empty and their meal's been paid for, so he grabs his blazer off the back of his chair and pushes his way outside.
It's warm out and Zayn wishes it wasn't, wishes it was cold air that might have shocked him out of drunkeness, given him back some kind of pretense of actual thought.
Liam's waiting for him, leaning heavily against the wall, eyelids heavy. He smiles hesitantly but Zayn can only offer a twisted grimace in return. His blood's running too hot in his veins and his skin feels tight over strained sinews. He takes a deep breath and orders his feet forward, the alcohol reducing him to fuzzy thoughts and clumsy gait.
After a moment, he hears Liam follow.
This isn't how he wanted tonight to go, he thinks. He wanted them to have a good time, a safe time, with no intimate lighting and only very few friendly pats on the back or something. He wanted them to part ways under the lights of Low Library with not so much as a handshake, even and simple, a goodbye of sorts so that Zayn could move on, regain his footing again. He -
(They brush up against each other briefly as one of their paths curves and Zayn looks up to see Liam's looking anxiously at him, lower lip between his teeth.)
- wants to tug at that lower lip until it's swollen, ease the ache with a swipe of tongue. He wants to be on his knees for Liam, get off to the feeling of Liam fucking his mouth, biting down hard on his lip to keep quiet. He wants Liam to fuck him, lips swollen and hanging open as he pants into the crook of Zayn's neck, kisses him sloppily on the side of his head.
And he can't even blame himself for what happened back at the bar, he thinks, with the confidence of a drunk man. No, there are greater men than him that couldn't resist a drunk Liam Payne dressed in all black.
Zayn stumbles a bit when they reach the cobbled College walk, and he blinks until the lights of campus stops swimming before him and he can move again.
"You don't have to walk me home," he slurs out, when he realizes, much too late, that that's exactly what Liam's doing.
"Told Lou I'd bring you home safely, didn't I?" Liam teases softly and the words send a jolt of arousal through Zayn. Fuck but shouldn't it be Zayn taking care of Liam after everything he's done for Zayn? God knows Zayn wants to return the favor, wants to take care of him with his hands and his mouth and his teeth. Fuck. He is so drunk.
"M' so drunk," he says out loud. Liam laughs at him, a gentle sort of rumbling that make Zayn want to lick him, bite at his collarbones. Collarbones that should probably stay hidden for the good of humanity.
"No collarbones for you," he mumbles and Liam grips his elbow, muffles another laugh into his shoulder.
"ID?" Liam prompts when they enter his dorm building. Zayn fumbles for his wallet, muttering disgruntedly.
"I've got it, Liam, I'm not a child," he insists, stabbing at the call elevator button with more force than necessary.
Liam's eyes turn almost predatorial.
"Trust me," he says, eyes tracking up the lines of Zayn's body, "I'm aware."
The elevator door opens and Zayn backs into it, fisting a hand in Liam's shirt and tugging him along until Zayn's got his own back to the wall, and Liam's close enough that Zayn can see the way his pupils have dilated, feel the way his breath turns shallow.
"Yeah?" he growls out, eyes dropping to follow Liam's tongue as it traces his lips. He moves forward to taste but Liam's got a large hand on his chest, holds him back.
Zayn groans, head thudding back against the frame of the elevator.
"Liam," he wrenches out, reaching for him again. When Liam doesn't let up, he switches tactics. "Is this how you'd fuck me then? Hold me down with my hands above my head?" Liam moans in response, eyes falling shut, "Get off on the fact that I was yours and there was nothing I could do about it?"
Liam leans in to nip at Zayn's lower lip, retreating too quickly for Zayn to kiss him properly.
"M'gonna make you beg for it, Zayn," he tells him in a voice that is low and dangerous and curls in Zayn's stomach, "Gonna fucking take you apart, piece by piece until I won't have to hold you down," he leans forward, so he can tug at Zayn's ear with his teeth, "Until you'll want nothing more than to be mine."
"Fuck," Zayn's voice breaks around the word and he's so turned on he can hardly see, but the elevator door opens again and Liam's gone. Zayn forces himself to follow, barely making it out in time.
There are people in the hallway, coming in from bars with hiccups in their steps. Zayn adjusts himself in his trousers, clears his throat against curious eyes. Liam's waiting for him outside the door to his room and they pause before it, searching each other for - something.
The smile on Liam's lips is sweet, almost apologetic, but there's still desire in his eyes, dark and unforgiving and in that moment Zayn realizes it's never going to back to the way it was. Not now that Zayn knows the way Liam tastes, has felt the heat of his skin. He'll never be able to stop wanting that, wanting to take Liam's clothes off, press him into worn sheets. And he wants more than that, doesn't he? Wants to close the space between them in bed and tuck himself into Liam's warmth and kiss him good morning. Wants to take care of him with coffee on late nights and fond scoldings when he works too hard. Wants to meet his sister and take him back to England and touch and stare and hold and - it's probably selfish of him but - he doesn't know how to stop wanting those things, doesn't think he could ever stop wanting those things.
He draws in a breath that shudders with nerves and smiles a smile that is weak with the thoughts that race through him and he doesn't even know where to begin, but he thinks Liam understands because Liam just smiles wider and he cups Zayn's face gently, presses a soft kiss to his forehead and then turns and heads back down the hallway, back home.
--
When Zayn finally pushes open his door, he finds Louis' curled up with his back to the door, asleep in his bed, and so he shucks Harry's blazer and his own jeans and slides in next to him, presses his nose into Louis' shoulder to breathe in his familiar smell.
"If you need a wank, go ahead, only don't expect me to help," Louis mumbles, turning over to brush their noses together. Zayn groans in embarrassment, tries to turn away, but Louis's opened his eyes and now he fixes Zayn with a stern stare.
"So?"
"So," Zayn sighs, moves further into Louis' warmth. When he replies it’s in a small voice and after a long moment, “I’m in trouble.”
"Excellent," Louis nods sideways, closing his eyes with a satisfied smile and wrapping his arms around Zayn tightly.
--
It's Sunday morning which means family brunch, as they've come to affectionately call it. Zayn wakes up with a massive headache but no nausea, thankfully. The shower's running and the other side of his bed is empty, but there's a glass of water and two ibuprofen on the bedside table that Zayn downs hurriedly before settling back into his pillow, drifting back off to sleep.
The next thing he knows, he's getting a pair of sweats thrown at his face. He shoves them off grumpily and opens his eyes cautiously, anticipating a pounding in his head and sighing in relief when there isn't one.
"Feeling alright then?" Louis asks, smiling when Zayn nods warily, "Liam said you were proper smashed."
"You talked to Liam?" Zayn asks, sitting up straighter. Louis just shrugs non-commitally.
"He just texted to tell me to let you sleep in, on account of you were proper smashed last night." Louis's staring hard at Zayn, and then suddenly he comes forward to sit at the edge of the bed by Zayn. His hair is still wet and Zayn follows the trail of a water droplet through one of his strands. "Is everything going to be ok?" Louis asks. Zayn smiles, grateful that Louis somehow understands not to pry.
"Yeah," he says, "I think so. Guess I'll just have to be really careful not to fuck it up."
"You won't, Zayn, you care too much about him," Louis says, interlacing their fingers. "And besides, Niall will surely be on your arse if you do so -"
Zayn wrinkles his nose.
"Isn't she supposed to be on our side?" he asks, a bit disgruntled. "She was our friend first."
"They're nicer to her than we are, mate," Louis says with a wink, "Anyway, go on, put some trousers on. We're late."
--
On the way to John Jay, Zayn throws his arm around Louis, pulls him into his side, and Louis does a quick shuffle, aligns their footsteps.
--
The three of them are already lounging around a corner table when Zayn and Louis enter the dining hall. Zayn's stomach gives a lurch when his eyes land on Liam, dressed once more in his usual oversized sweats and worn hoodie, laying back in his chair with his head on Niall's shoulder and his eyes closed.
He looks like his ordinary self and yet, Zayn's blood has already turned hot with want and the ghosts of Liam's body aligned with his and he wants to press his fingers underneath the soft fabric, leave prints in his skin.
They're still far enough away that Louis can get away with a mischievously whispered never seen you this nervous before and it's enough to turn Zayn determined. He approaches their table, sinks down into the seat pulled close next to Liam.
"Long night, huh?" he asks nonchalantly. Liam starts, and when he sees Zayn's smirk his eyes widen and his skin flushes red.
Zayn didn't think it was possible to want someone so badly.
The rest of the table has erupted into snorts and giggles at Liam's reaction and in the middle of it, Liam leans in close.
"Not nearly long enough," and god does he really need teeth to whisper. Zayn has to clench his hands into fists in his lap at the press of them into the curve of his neck.
Liam moves away again looking smug and Zayn wants to jump him, kiss the look right off his face. Instead, he turns to the group.
"Food?" he asks them. He's in the mood for bananas.
--
"So, library day today?" Harry asks the group when they've cleared away their plates.
"I've got rehearsal downtown," Niall says regretfully, "Fuck me."
"I'm in," Zayn says, shooting Niall a sympathetic look. He turns to Liam hopefully, but Liam shakes his head apologetically.
"Can't, Zayn, I've got a meeting with Coach Ryder and then I've got this thing with the team - " he trails off and Zayn holds back a frustrated groan. It must show on his face anyway because Liam mumbles a quiet I'm sorry into the sleeve of his hoodie. Zayn shrugs, leans into him a bit.
"S'okay, we'll figure it out," he says firmly, hoping Liam catches the double meaning.
"Lou?" Harry asks, but Louis too shakes his head.
"Can't, Haz, I've got that study group thing for Lit Hum, remember? They want to meet in Lerner."
"Rats," Harry frowns, then brightens again. "Looks like it's just me and you Zayner."
"I can hardly wait," Zayn says, slowing down his words to mimic Harry's drawl.
--
They're at the library for six bloody hours and Zayn alternates between periods of productivity and periods of pouting and it's driving him insane. He just wants to. Fuck. He just wants to sort their shit out so he can get his hands on Liam again, or just, feel the strength of his arms around him, or the fondness of his smile.
He tries to focus on his reading, he does, but mostly he just ends up fidgeting agitatedly or running his hands through his hair exasperatedly until finally Harry looks up from across the narrow wooden table they're splitting.
"Wow, it's really hit you hard, huh?" he asks, voice curious and sort of wondering, but not teasing in the slightest, so Zayn tries to bite back his irritation for a second.
"What?"
"This thing. With Liam," he clarifies.
"Yeah," Zayn says truthfully. "Yeah, it has."
"Good," Harry smiles at him kindly, "I'm really glad. I thought what you were telling yourself before was bullshit, just so you know."
Zayn swallows.
"Are you sure?" he can't help but ask.
"Yeah, Zayn," Harry says earnestly, leaning forward a bit and swiping back his hair, "He's happiest around you. That's what this is all about isn't it? Making each other happy. And besides. Everyone's got baggage, haven't they? You've got baggage, and he's got baggage, and Lou and I have baggage, too. The important thing is we try to be the best possible people we can be for each other, yeah?"
"Yeah," Zayn says slowly, "Yeah, you're right. Fuck, you're perfectly right, Haz I have to. Do you think he's home by now?" He checks his phone. "He must be home, right?"
Harry nods, grinning until his dimples show.
"I've got to go see him. You don't mind do you?"
He's barely seen the shake of Harry's head before he's out the door, leaving all his stuff behind and eliciting a few narrowed eyed stares as he passes, bumping into tables and bags on his way.
He runs down College Walk, thinks back to the last time he was headed to Liam's place like this, thinks about the weight he carried with him, thinks about how much things have changed since then.
He's grinning like a crazy person and completely out of breath when he reaches Liam's building. Curves into his hands on his knees to catch his breath in the elevator.
When he gets to Liam's room he knocks, and then opens the door without waiting for an answer. Liam's at his desk, expression startled when he meets Zayn's eyes.
"Are you doing next week's work?" he asks him. Liam shrugs sheepishly.
"It's good to stay ahead -" he begins, but Zayn's crossed the room in two strides and he tugs Liam up by his thin t-shirt, one hand on the curve of his hip and the other fisted in the short hairs at the nape of his neck.
"I'm gonna kiss you," he murmurs softly. He leans in, lips ghosting against Liam's, "And then we're gonna to talk about this, I promise. But first, Li, I have to -"
Liam's already pressing his lips to Zayn's though, letting out a broken moan and fisting his hands in Zayn's shirt to pull him flush against him.
There's no sweetness to it, just a forceful press of tongues, a slight of teeth and Liam's whimpers, and Zayn feels the heat pool in his belly fast.
"Liam," he tries, even as he presses closer, tugs at Liam's bottom lip, "We should -"
"Yeah," Liam breathes out, "Fuck. Take these off." He's sliding Zayn's sweats off, and Zayn helps him on a moan, stepping out of them and kicking them away. He fists his hands in Liam's tee and they separate briefly so Liam can tug it off with one arm.
"Fuck," Zayn says with wonderment, eyes running the length of Liam's torso. Liam blushes deep and Zayn can follow the color down his chest and he traces it with his fingers, a barely there caress.
Liam trembles and Zayn feels it like a jolt of arousal.
"Please," Liam whimpers, keeps his hands clenched into fists at his sides, "Zayn -"
"You're fucking perfect," Zayn groans out, stepping closer to run his hands along the line of Liam's waist teasingly, enjoying the way Liam sways into him, lets his eyes flutter shut.
Zayn unbuckles his belt and thumbs open his trousers and then he's sliding them off, reconnecting their lips.
"Bed," he orders between kisses, pushing Liam back until his knees hit the edge and they topple. Zayn straddles Liam, allows himself a beat to take in the boy beneath him, flushed and messy and Liam.
When Liam opens his eyes, they're dark and dilated and Zayn sucks in a breath at their intensity unwavering.
"M'gonna do my best to be the person you deserve, Liam, I swear to you," he whispers fiercely, and the words take a piece of him with them that he's not sure he'll ever be able to get back and yet leave Zayn somehow more whole than before. He swallows at the shock that flickers across Liam's face, and then Liam sits up, readjusting them so Zayn's straddling his lap.
He searches Zayn's eyes for a long, agonizing moment, and then, finally, he leans forward to kiss him. Zayn meets him halfway with a breath of relief, and this time the kiss is sweet, little licks and hesitant pressure. Zayn draws his arms around Liam's neck, shuffles closer determinedly - and with the press of his cock against Liam's stomach the moment is lost and Liam turns firm again, heady and demanding.
Liam's hands trail over Zayn's torso over his shirt, firing every neuron as they pass, even without the skin to skin contact, until they're slipping into Zayn's pants, pulling at his cock.
Zayn freezes, the touch feeling foreign and strange. He breaks the kiss with a wounded noise, bats Liam's hand away.
"Fuck," he chokes out.
Liam goes rigid.
"Did I hurt you?" he asks anxiously.
"No, fuck. I just. I haven't been. I haven't been touched like that in a really long time," he forces himself to say. Liam's opening his mouth to speak again, forehead creased in confusion and Zayn pleads silently with him, desperately does not want to admit He never bothered to touch me out loud.
When Liam sees the look on Zayn's face his mouth snaps shut, expression clouding with anger. He shifts away slightly, puts space between them, and Zayn tries not to pay attention to the way his stomach bottoms out at the loss of contact.
"Fuck, wait Li. I'm sorry, I. Please. You can. Whatever you want," he swallows against the bile rising in his throat, "Please," he whispers, and he's not even sure what he's asking for, just knows he needs the pressure of their limbs together again and it must show on his face because Liam crowds back into him with a choked noise, wrapping Zayn in strong arms and pressing kisses to the top of his head.
"I'm not upset at you, ok," Liam says, and Zayn can tell he's straining to keep his voice even, "I'm just. I need a moment because I'm just so angry that - fuck," he takes a deep breath, "That you had so much less than you deserve. And I don't want this to be about that, I want this to be about us."
Zayn just shrugs his shoulders. He looks down at where Liam's interlaced their fingers and wishes suddenly that they didn't fit this well together because he's fucked this up already and it was probably an awful idea to begin with and -
"Hey, no, don't do that," Liam cups his jaw, gently forces him to look up, "This is not a bad idea, Zayn. This," he leans forward to press silly kisses to Zayn's lips, "is probably the best idea we've ever had," until Zayn is forced to give him a reluctant smile, curl in closer to him. "Let me show you Zayn," and his voice drops low and settles in Zayn's stomach and he turns their kisses hot again, "Let me show you what it's supposed to be like."
Zayn snorts.
"M'not a school girl virgin, Li," but he doesn't move away, and suddenly Liam's flipping them over so effortlessly Zayn doesn't have a chance to be surprised. Zayn lands on his back with a groan that is all parts arousal again.
"Know you're not," Liam murmurs, eyes dark and dilated from where he straddles Zayn. Zayn arches into him.
"Bloody fucking hell," he reaches for Liam once more, but Liam snags his wrists with a large palm, tugs his hands above his head.
"Let me show you. Let me take care of you," Liam repeats and Zayn doesn't know how to let him do that and so he diverts the weight of the exchange with a feeble attempt at a smirk.
"So I was right then?" Zayn sidesteps him, wriggling his hands uselessly against Liam's grip. Liam flushes, leans forward to nip at Zayn's ear in retaliation.
"You look so good spread out for me like this," he soothes the bite with a lick, "God do you know how hard it's been to keep my hands off you, fuck. I want to drive you crazy."
"Liam," Zayn whines breathlessly, arching into his touch, "Let me - "
"Take this off," Liam interrupts him, hand snaking down to snag at the end of his tee. Zayn's entire body goes limp and he bites his lip.
"Bruises aren't exactly sexy, Liam," he says darkly, averting his gaze and willing himself not to flush.
"You couldn't be anything but sexy," Liam counters firmly and Zayn rolls his eyes in embarrassment, "C'mon Zayn, wanna see you. Please?" And the way Liam's looking at him Zayn can hardly say no, not to those wide eyes or that hopeful smile, or the blur of arousal and fondness that folds Liam's features. He gives a tiny, hesitant nod and Liam lights up. He sits up, runs big hands down the length of Zayn's torso before pulling up at the ends of the shirt, waiting until Zayn lifts up to tug it over his head.
When Zayn finally gathers the courage to look at Liam, there's a gentle veneration in his gaze and a shyness in the turn of his smile that steals Zayn's breath away. Liam presses a soft kiss behind Zayn's ear and Zayn shudders helplessly, whimper caught in the back of his throat.
"Beautiful," Liam threads into his skin between nips and licks.
"Liam -" Zayn protests feebly, not able to quite shed the shame that accompanies the way Liam's laid him out, bare and vulnerable.
"You're so breathtakingly beautiful, Zayn," he kisses down Zayn's neck softly, spending time on each inch until Zayn is achingly hard and barely biting back his desperation and still, Liam doesn't let up.
"Fucking gorgeous," he murmurs, mouthing the words down Zayn's chest, pausing to pull at a nipple with his teeth, soothing the sharpness with a swipe of tongue. Every touch goes straight to Zayn's cock and Zayn can't stop trembling, digs his fingers into his palm for the distraction.
Sexy is written with teeth underneath Zayn's heart and stunning is tongued where Zayn takes a breath and alluring is kissed over his stomach until Zayn is writhing uncontrollably, a litany of pleaseliampleasepleasefuck falling from Zayn's lips. He's not sure he can take a second more of the torture and even then, Liam doesn't stop.
He presses a kiss to the flesh of Zayn's thigh as he slides down Zayn's pants. "Ravishing," he teases into Zayn's knee, and Zayn has tears in his eyes and he's not sure if they're from Liam's words or the way he sets Zayn's entire body on fire with want.
"Can I?" Liam asks him from between his legs, intention clear in the way he licks his lips. Zayn closes his eyes and shudders as desire courses through his veins. "Zayn?"
"You don't - you don't have to," Zayn gasps out, "Let me do you -"
"I want to though, Zayn," Liam murmurs, "Want to taste you, want to let you fuck my mouth, please, Zayn. Let me take care of you."
"Fuck," Zayn groans, meeting Liam's hooded gaze, "Fuck, yeah ok, yeah."
When Liam finally brings his mouth to Zayn's cock Zayn's blind with need, can't think past Liam's tongue on him. Liam swallows him down to the base with a moan that's filthy and gorgeous.
Zayn comes with a sob and Liam's name like a prayer on his lips.
He feels boneless and heavy and blessed and he has to blink back tears in the aftershocks, mind fuzzy and blissfully blank.
Liam stays between Zayn's legs, presses kisses in the crease of Zayn's thigh, and Zayn's dick doesn't even get the chance to soften before Liam's mouthing at his balls again, purposeful.
"Wanna make you come again," he whispers, thumbs swiping up Zayn's legs, leaving goosebumps, "Can you do that for me Zayn? Can you come again for me?"
no, he wants to say, no, you've taken everything already but he finds himself nodding.
"Anything," is what he does say, and it's a promise and Liam knows it too. Something flashes in his eyes, and then he's helping to push Zayn's knees up to his chest, careful and tender.
A warm breath is all the warning Zayn gets before Liam's pressing a kiss to Zayn's rim, and Zayn bucks up, heat rushing under his skin, back arching almost painfully. And then Liam's licking into his hole, tongue fucking him unforgivingly and Zayn's body is clenching and unclenching and the line blurs between pain and pleasure.
"Please," he gasps out, pushing his hips down into the touch, "Fuck, Liam, I need - "
"What do you need?" Liam asks him, teases him with the tip of his tongue.
"I can't - " Zayn chokes out, "Please -"
Liam relents, wraps a hand round his painfully oversensitive dick and thumbs at the head, and with his tongue, curls into Zayn's soft spot and Zayn sees stars, white heat and black nothing, and he comes with a whimper that starts from his toes.
When he comes to, Liam's left the bed and Zayn watches through eyes half closed as he wets a wash cloth and turns off the light. He navigates back to Zayn with the dim light from the window, cleans Zayn's belly. When he dabs gently at Zayn's softened cock, Zayn hisses and tears escape and Liam kisses them away with soft murmurings of encouragement.
He gets up to discard the wash cloth and then he's back, sinking heavily onto Zayn's thin frame and laying his head in the crook of Zayn's neck.
"Are you - Are you nuzzling me?" Zayn manages to ask him incredulously, voice almost nonexistent. He feels a little off, unsure of himself, but Liam just hums in response, rubs his head against Zayn's neck.
Zayn can only laugh weakly, wrap still trembling arms tight around Liam.
"Are you ok?" Liam asks softly, shifting slightly so he tumbles to Zayn's side. Zayn's hand stays firm to Liam's hip, silently demanding that he close the gap between them again.
"Yeah," he mumbles, sleepy and dazed, "I've never - "
"I know," Liam says.
"Thank you," he mumbles finally, pulling Liam impossibly closer, until Liam's legs slot between his and his erection presses insistently into Zayn's thigh.
Zayn panics.
"Shit, Liam, I should have - I never should have let you - Fuck. Let me blow you or -" he swallows, "You can fuck me? I'm so sorry, I -"
"Shh, Zayn, don't -" Liam tries, but Zayn is already sitting up, tugging at the waist of Liam's pants.
"God, you must be furious, fuck. I'm not like this normally, I swear. I'm - I'm really good. I can be really good, Liam, I promise - "
"Zayn," Liam raises his voice just a fraction, cups his face with a neverending amount of tenderness. "You're fine, Zayn," he whispers, infinitely patient, "I'm not mad. I wanted to take care of you, ok? Tonight was about you." He presses a soft kiss to Zayn's forehead.
"But you -" Zayn says weakly.
"S'okay," Liam interrupts, voice quiet but firm, "I'll live. Just. Can you - I mean. Will you stay?"
Zayn lets out a surprised, almost hysterical laugh.
"I'm not sure I could move even if you wanted me out," he says slowly, considering the boy in bed with him. Liam looks at him with wide eyes, nervous and uncertain and Zayn sucks in a breath at how much Liam's giving back, at how much Liam's letting him keep. He lowers them both gently back to the bed, curving into Liam to rest his head on Liam's chest. "I'm here, Liam, yeah? I'm staying," Zayn tells him, quiet and sure.
Their feet tangle together and Zayn brings an arm around Liam's waist, tucks his head underneath Liam's shoulder and Liam breathes out relief and pulls Zayn in closer.
"This is all I need for now, ok?" Liam whispers, "This, for as long as you'll have me."
--
This time, Zayn wakes up in a tangle of too hot limbs and sweaty sheets but he stays put when he looks up to see Liam's still sleeping soundly, mouth slightly parted, arms curled around Zayn. He grins to himself, nuzzles quietly into Liam's chest, runs his fingers over his naked torso.
Liam makes a small noise, a content sigh, pushes closer into Zayn like he's drawn to him, and Zayn can't resist, he twists up to press his lips to Liam's, kissing him until he responds back slowly, bringing him back from dreams.
"Good morning," he kisses into his mouth, smiling against him. Liam groans softly and Zayn watches the tips of his eyelashes as they flutter open. When he focuses on Zayn his smile widens into something silly and so warm that Zayn has to duck his head, hide the blush that comes fast to color his cheeks.
"Good morning," Liam returns, cupping his cheek to turn his head, kiss Zayn again, morning breath be darned.
Zayn fits himself to Liam's body, turns the kisses deep despite Liam's valiant attempts to remain sweet, until they're breathing heavy through bruised lips.
"What time is it?" Liam asks, arching into Zayn to kiss him once more.
"Probably time to get up for class," Zayn groans out. He turns to check and Liam takes advantage of the angle to press kisses to his neck. "Liam," he protests shakily, turning his head despite himself to give him more access.
"Hmm," Liam hums, nipping lightly. "I think I left hickies last night," he says thoughtfully.
"Fuck," Zayn moans, giving in and turning to kiss Liam properly, "We've got class, Li -"
Liam makes a noise of agreement in his throat, and after one last lingering kiss he rolls over Zayn to stumble out of bed, groaning with the effort. His hair stands up on end and his pants fall low and twisted on his hips and Zayn wants him back in bed right now.
"God, I can't believe you could stand to kiss me, my breath tastes horrible," he wrinkles his nose, padding off to the bathroom to brush his teeth with the door open. He comes out with his toothbrush still in his mouth.
"You wanna borrow a shirt or something?" he asks with his mouth full.
"And like, a notebook and pen," Zayn adds sheepishly, getting out of bed and slipping back into his pants. Liam rolls his eyes, spits into the sink.
"What'd you bring with you last night?"
"Err," Zayn rubs the back of his head, "I may or may not have dropped everything and ran here from the library. Shit I hope Styles grabbed my stuff."
Liam cackles.
"Not an ounce of patience, Malik," he teases him.
"Not at all," he growls playfully, "Come here," he demands as soon as Liam's finished washing his mouth. Liam's eyes are dancing but he moves obediently to Zayn, places his hands around his waist and thumbs down the lines of Zayn's hips.
"You rang?" he asks, ducking his head playfully to look up at Zayn from under his lashes.
"Shameless," Zayn scolds. Liam's eyes widen indignantly but Zayn is kissing him before he has a chance to object.
--
In the elevator Liam is all silly giggles and shy eye contact until Zayn rolls his eyes, trying desperately to look exasperated and not terribly fond.
"Out with it Payne," he orders, just as the elevator door opens. Liam shrugs and shakes his head, says good morning to the desk attendant with a cheery wave as they pass.
"I just really like you in my clothes," he grins innocently and unabashedly and Zayn will not be fond, damnit.
"Really? 'Cause I think I just look stupid," Zayn grumbles out. He's wearing a Columbia wrestling tee that he probably swore he'd never be caught dead in at one point in his life, and one of Liam's sweatshirt's that's like three sizes too big, stretches past his fingers and keeps falling off his shoulder.
"Well to be fair, the sweatshirt's a bit big on me too," Liam concedes. "But not by that much," he adds, and Zayn swats at him with an oversized sleeve.
"The cheek on you this morning, christ," Zayn scolds teasingly.
"Yeah, well I started my day out real enjoyably, it's put me in a pretty good mood," Liam responds seriously. Zayn turns to him. They're in the middle of College Walk and they've got to part ways, but -
"Liam -" he tries.
"Yeah?"
Zayn sighs. "I hope the rest of your day's good as well," he says, and Liam smiles brightly at him.
"Thanks, you too," Liam says warmly. "I'll see you later?"
"Yeah, later." Liam turns to go, but Zayn catches his wrist.
"Wait," he swallows, and then cups Liam's face with one sweatshirt clad hand and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. He lets his eyes fall shut, lets himself take in the feel of this other boy pressed against him, the heat of the day against the back of his neck. The sounds of students and professors grow muted until Zayn can hear only his heart beating in his ears and the warm sigh Liam lets out against him.
When he pulls back Liam's eyes are still closed so Zayn steeples their foreheads together, traces his bottom lip with his teeth.
"Are we really going to do this then?" Liam asks him softly, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal raw longing. Zayn swallows.
"If you still want to I mean. After last night -. I mean. I want to. So. If you want to then - " he trails off, nervous despite everything.
"If I want to," Liam repeats with a shake of his head, "God Zayn you are. Yes. Yes, I want to. Of course I want to," he leans in to kiss him again, ends up pressing a smile into Zayn's lips instead, "Want to dress you in my clothes and keep you in my bed in the mornings and fuck I want to keep kissing you but I'm gonna be late to class."
Zayn laughs, low and fond and happy. He presses a quick kiss to the corner of Liam's mouth.
"Go on then, I'll see you later."
"Fuck," Liam says, and he's grinning wide and a little disbelievingly and he nods. "I'll see you soon." He presses another kiss to Zayn's mouth.
"Go on Payne," Zayn scolds and if he can't feel anything but fondness again for the rest of his life it'll be all Liam Payne's fault.
"Yeah yeah, I'm going," he makes to move back, "God, do I look this irresistible in my clothes or is it just you?"
"Liam."
"Ok, ok, really going now, I promise," he kisses Zayn's temple, "Bye," he says softly.
"Bye, Li."
--
He really has no idea what goes on in his next two classes.