fic: all the stars and boulevards [ 8 ]
title all the stars and boulevards [ 8 ]
author snuffleslove
pairing zayn/liam, harry/louis, girl!niall
word count 60k
rating pg-13 (now)
warnings slash, swearing, drugs, genderswap, abuse, domestic violence, dub-con
summary zayn and louis take on columbia (university!au)
a/n AU where the boys are international students at columbia university and new york city is taken by storm.
Harry drops Zayn's bag into the chair next to his at lunch and settles into the one on his other side with a fond roll of his eyes and a shit eating grin, stretching out his limbs and tilting his chair back.
"Thanks, Haz," Zayn apologizes meekly, "Sorry about last night I - "
"S'okay," Harry interrupts him with a wave of his hand, "Get to see you do the walk of shame, that's repayment enough."
"I am not doing the walk of shame," Zayn protests indignantly.
"Those are Liam's clothes. You probably couldn't wear yours because they had come on them - "
"Oh my god, Harry."
"And that, mate, is the definition of the walk of shame," Harry says gleefully, pinching Zayn's side.
But then after a moment his smirk shifts into a sincere smile and he nudges at Zayn happily with his head, tickling Zayn with his curls.
"Bloody ridiculous," Zayn mutters when he's recovered, wrapping an arm around him, "Did you get all your work done last night then, without me to distract you?"
"No," Harry turns slightly to shoot him a mischievous grin. "Went back to your place to meet Louis, was feeling pretty confident that you'd end up staying at Liam's."
Zayn chuckles despite himself, letting the laughter fade into the crowd around them. They're silent for a moment and Zayn enjoys the pause. From their table they've got a bird's eye view of the cafeteria, friends laughing on the pizza line, couples leaning against each other as they wait, the occasional kid in his pajamas, trudging straight to the coffee. Everything feels bright and perfect and happy and Zayn feels like giggling, or dancing or something equally ridiculous, but he contains the giddiness rushing through him, sits with Harry, smiling until his cheeks hurt.
"I didn't tell him, you know," Harry speaks up after a while, thoughtful and slow. Zayn shifts.
"He didn't ask where I was?"
Here, Harry's mouth curves into a smirk.
"Didn't really give him a chance to say much."
"God, please tell me you at least took the time to get to his bed."
Harry shrugs, mysterious and smug and Zayn headbutts him. "You're awful Haz."
When Harry laughs his entire body shakes with it.
"I need your help with something." The words are out of Zayn's mouth before the idea is even fully formed and when Harry glances at him inquisitively, Zayn clears his throat, "How busy are you this week?"
--
shitttt i 4got i hve eats 2nite w the team :( :( wana chill after though comes in while Zayn's walking with Harry towards Dodge. His face must fall a little, because Harry nudges him with a bony elbow, grips a little at his jacket.
"S'nothing, Liam's just busy tonight."
"Oh. S'okay though, you have to tell Louis, remember? I can't promise I can keep it a secret for much longer, you know." he laughs a sheepish laugh and Zayn rolls his eyes.
"You have to keep this a secret though," he waves his hands in front of them, as though this (silly, ridiculous) idea that he has is right in front of them.
"I'll try."
"Harry."
"S'not my fault," he whines, "It's like. I want to share everything with him, you know? I get excited, and then I can't stop talking, and -" he cuts off to open the door for Zayn and Zayn offers a charming smile to the lady sitting behind the desk.
"I'm dealing with children," Zayn tells her woefully. She gives him a look that manages to be both disdainful and uninterested and lets them into the building, Harry snorting into the back of Zayn's neck as they pass.
In the elevator, Zayn thumbs out a quick, i shldn't i have to tell louis with Harry reading over his shoulder.
oh. do i have to ask his permission? comes back a couple seconds later and Zayn chuckles, is about to shoot back a hah, funny when Harry stops him.
"He's serious, Zayn," Harry says, practically tugging him out of the elevator when Zayn looks up at him in surprise. They continue down the long, dimly lit hallway, Harry waving absentmindedly to the few students they pass, and Zayn is momentarily distracted by the fact that everyone greets Harry by name and with a bright smile. "He thinks he needs Louis' approval. Honestly? I think he does too."
Zayn stares at him and Harry stares pointedly back.
"You're being serious."
"Yeah, course I am. You know how Louis is about you."
Zayn raises his eyebrows.
"He's not my father, Harry - " but Harry cuts him off with a long, exasperated sigh. "What?"
"You're infuriating."
"So are you," Zayn snarks back, earning himself a cuff to the back of his head.
"Just let him take care of you ok? Even if it's only to make him feel better."
Zayn considers this for moment, staring at the back of Harry's head while they wait in line to sign out a practice room. Finally, with a relenting sigh he pulls out his phone again.
maybe. and then but he probably likes you better than me at this point, so dw xx
He looks up in time to find that they've reached the front of the line. Harry's leaning against the countertop, long limbs folding ungracefully.
"Hey Beth," he says, voice low, colored with a smile, tinted with a smirk. "You alright?"
"Harry!" she squeals, running around the countertop to throw her arms around him. He laughs good-naturedly. "Where have you been, stranger?"
"Sorry," Harry says in genuine apology, "Been busy, you know. Miller's class is kicking my arse."
She shoots him a skeptical look from behind the countertop once more.
"I highly doubt that. She adored you last semester."
"Not as much as she adored you," Harry counters charmingly, and Zayn's not sure if he should laugh at him or learn from him. Beth colors prettily, lowers her eyes shyly and Zayn smothers his laugh into a cough.
"Harry, stop," she protests with a giggle. "Anyway, what are you doing here today? It's Monday."
"Oh," Harry says, turning sheepish. "About that." He draws his curls to the front of his face and then flips them back quickly. "I was actually wondering -. See my friend Zayn here. We're working on something together. A duet, yeah? But it's a bit time sensitive so I was wondering if you might be able to -" he crooks one corner of his mouth up in a hopeful smile, " - bend the rules for us a little bit?"
"Oh! A duet!" she exclaims delightedly, eyes moving from Harry to examine Zayn, and Zayn forces himself to smile brightly at her. "Will you let me watch?"
"Maybe when it's done," Harry promises her, leaning in over the countertop. She considers him.
"Well alright then, but it wasn't me ok? I don't want to lose my job," she warns him and he grins at her, takes the key she hands him and gives her his ID.
"Brilliant, thanks Beth!" He shoots her a lazy grin over his shoulder as they retreat into the back hallways and it's only when he's sure they're out of earshot that Zayn doubles over with laughter.
"Christ, Haz," he manages.
"What," Harry tries for casual but his ears have gone pink, "It worked, didn't it?"
The room is dark and cramped when they enter it, but Harry finds the light easily and flicks the switch, shutting the heavy soundproof door behind them with a thud. There're two chairs, a few old wired stands and a small piano in one corner with a piano bench that has definitely seen better days.
"You ever, you know, in here?" Zayn asks him innocently, smirking when Harry blushes.
"Maybe," he fumbles around a bit with his bag. "Not with, ah. Not with Louis though so - I mean. Obviously before we got together, I swear - "
"S'okay Haz, relax," Zayn says kindly, coming up to place a hand on the back of his neck.
"Right, yeah," Harry smiles again, "So what song did you have in mind?"
"Have you heard um, Lego House, by Ed Sheeran?"
Harry scoffs, insulted.
"Course I have, it's brilliant."
"Right, sorry. Well, it's only one part, but I was hoping you might um, want to try some harmonies together?"
"Yeah, sounds cool," Harry nods seriously, "I'll see what I can do."
Zayn grins, settles on the floor with his legs spread out in front of him, and Harry settles on the opposite wall, adjusting his feet so they settle in the spaces Zayn has left.
"Let me find the lyrics," he says, reaching for his phone and doing a quick search. Zayn waits, inexplicably nervous without the dim lit attic and the shared toke. He drums his hands against his knees, rhythm unsteady and erratic, until Harry looks up at him with a reassuring smile. "Found em," he says. "You good?"
"Yeah, I think so," he clears his throat against the crack in his voice and Harry nudges him with the edge of his foot.
"Do you wanna start?"
"Oh. Right," Harry giggles a little at him, soft and sweet, so Zayn clears his throat, hums a pitch. Harry's brow scrunches up a bit and he hums the rest of the melody, catching Zayn's note from him.
"S'too high, for me at least. Can we start -" he hums a pitch a step and a half lower, reaching up with a long arm to thumb a note on the piano, "S'a D."
Zayn nods, takes a deep breath and begins to sing. His voice is shaky at first, but it steadies sure enough, settling into Ed Sheeran's first verse, smiling through it when Harry sighs happily and closes his eyes. When he trails off at the end Harry is smiling a secret smile and Zayn frowns worriedly.
"What? Did it sound awful or - "
"No, no, nothing," Harry says, and he can't seem to stop smiling. "It just sounds really good, just you, just like that. But I'm still gonna sing with you," Harry adds quickly when Zayn glares at him, "Go on into the chorus then."
This time Harry catches the harmony, a third below. His voice tangles with Zayn's easily, warm and full against Zayn's lighter sound. Zayn's always known Harry's talented, of course he has. He's watched him perform on stage and improvise easily in the attic but. Here, in this small space, his voice lifts to fill up the room and Zayn can catch every tremor and ornamentation and it's beautiful. He stays low, creating dissonance and then resolving it, focused on the melody Zayn's carrying and Zayn's voice grows stronger, more confident.
When they finish, Harry's beaming.
"That was brilliant," he says earnestly.
"You're alright," Zayn tells him, unable to hide his smile. Harry's grin doesn't falter and he kicks at Zayn lightly, "Do you want the next verse?"
"Fine, but then you pick up the harmony for the next chorus."
"Harry -"
"Zayn," Harry says stubbornly, raising his eyebrows at him.
"Fine," Zayn accepts defeat, "I'll try ok?"
"Zayn, you're good at this, you'll be great. Ok," he takes a breath and then picks up the next verse, nodding at Zayn to cue him in, pointing his finger up with a smirk. Zayn rolls his eyes but obeys, coming in above Harry this time, voice soaring easy against the solid melody Harry lays down, until Harry's grinning into his voice and Zayn's smiling too, satisfied.
"We're good," Harry says firmly, and Zayn has to agree, begins to wonder what they'd sound like with Liam's voice and Louis' guitar in the mix, like if they actually rehearsed something instead of just dicking around. Harry seems to be thinking the same thing because when he catches his eye his gaze is a little bit wild with the idea and the beginnings of a smirk form on his lips.
"Do you wanna run it once and then get out of here?"
Harry nods.
"So are you gonna sing right into Liam's eyes then?"
"Shut up," Zayn mutters around a smile.
--
They part ways in front of Butler.
"Send Louis my love," Harry calls out as he enters the library, narrowly missing running over a small girl with a large coffee.
"Ew," Zayn wrinkles his nose.
--
Louis is stretched out in Zayn's bed when Zayn gets in, a heavy looking book in his lap and a highlighter in his mouth and Zayn ducks his head to hide his foolish smile at the sight, can hardly wait to drop the weight of his bag and join him.
Louis hardly glances up at him even as Zayn lets the door slam so Zayn toes off his shoes and Liam's sweatshirt and nudges his head onto Louis's lap, legs folding so he can lie horizontally on the bed.
"Hi you," he says brightly. From this angle he can see the beginnings of stubble over Louis' chin and he lifts his hand up awkwardly to feel the roughness of the skin there. "I have something to tell you - Louis? Are you alright?" His brain has finally caught on to the fact that Louis looksoff, weary like he's been thinking too many heavy thoughts. "Is this my shirt?" he tugs at the hem of it, shifts to sit up. Louis made this into a habit when they were younger, crawling in through Zayn's bedroom window in the evenings when his parents were fighting or his sisters were ganging up on him, shedding his own clothes in favor of Zayn's sweats and oldest t-shirts and curling up in his bed to wait for Zayn to come back from dinner.
"Nothing's wrong," Louis says meekly, putting the book aside and studiously avoiding eye contact, "That's Liam's shirt isn't it."
"Louis."
"M'not sure the color really suits you - "
"Louis."
Louis sighs, coughs slightly.
"It's really nothing."
"Ok, cool," Zayn waits expectantly, watches the way Louis blushes, twists his hands nervously.
"It's just. Harry and I. We ah. We had sex for the first time," he whispers finally. Oh. Zayn turns so that he can face his friend, tucking his feet under him so his knees fall over Louis' knees and his hands fall over Louis' hands. He stills their fidgeting with a firm pressure.
"That's. That's good right?" Zayn asks cautiously. "I'm surprised you waited this long -"
"It was Harry's first time. With a guy anyway, you know."
Zayn's eyes widen and he closes his mouth with a snap and Louis gives a weak laugh.
"Trust me, that was my reaction too," he says. Well that was something Zayn hadn't really expected but -
"First times are normally awful though, aren't they? So -"
"Exactly," Louis interrupts mournfully, extracting his hands from Zayn to bury his face in them.
"Ok Lou, now you've lost me -"
"It was really good, Zayn," Louis says softly, looking up at Zayn, "I mean, it wasn't like, rose petals and smooth sailing, or anything like that, but. He was perfect, you know?" Louis's looking at Zayn with wide eyes and color in his cheeks and Zayn can't help but grin back at him, cheeky and knowing, "Shut up," Louis mutters, smiling despite himself, "I know I sound like a complete tosser, I just. I love him so much, yeah? It terrifies me."
"Oh, Louis," Zayn shakes his head fondly, slim fingers curling round his wrists to feel his quickened pulse. He leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, and then shifts to tuck Louis into his side. "He loves you too."
"Fuck."
"Fuck," Zayn agrees, laughing softly in Louis' hair. "And I love you."
Louis snorts.
"I know that, you sap," he scoffs, squeezing Zayn's side. "Anyway. I told you I was just being a twat. So what did you have to tell me."
It's Zayn's turn to heat up, but he smiles through it, safe in the way Louis clutches at the hem of Liam's shirt.
"Liam and I are gonna give it a go," he says.
"Oh really?" Louis grins, not sounding the least bit surprised. He sits up to look Zayn in the eye, "I hear you used words and everything this time."
Zayn stares at him for a second and then it dawns on him.
"Oh my god, he actually asked for your permission," Zayn says wonderingly.
"Course he did. He's a smart bloke," Louis says loftily, kissing the top of Zayn's head, "M'really happy for you," he whispers, "Are you ok?"
Zayn doesn't hesitate.
"Yeah, I mean. I'm really bloody nervous about fucking things up but - "
"You're not the only one," Louis chimes in softly.
"We'll be ok," Zayn tells him on a wave of bravado, nosing into Louis' neck and inhaling.
"Look at us," Louis says quietly, after a moment of simple, tangled limbs. "All settled down with these fucking brilliant people," his thumb finds it's way under Zayn's shirt to trace his scar and for the first time it feels like nothing but dead knotted skin, "and so stupidly happy. Did you ever think that could be us?"
"Happiness was never a question," Zayn chides gently, resting his chin against Louis' head, "M'always happy when I'm with you."
Louis says nothing for a long while after that, just smiles a pleased smile and hums, content.
"Now we just need to find someone for Niall," Louis comments idly.
"Niall is not allowed to date anybody," Zayn growls out stubbornly and Louis tangles their feet together and calls him an idiot and Zayn feels whole.
Alive and happy and whole.
--
The problem with dicking around the entire weekend is that now Zayn's scrambling to catch up. He's got two ten page papers due at the end of the week and about a hundred pages of reading besides. As much as he hates to do it, he buckles down, holes himself up in the library for hours on end, and his relationship with Liam is reduced to a handful of i miss you texts and quiet phone calls at night, and that one time Zayn manages to it make to sociology, hushed promises like god the next time i see you im gonna suck your brains out through your cock.
He's forced to whine about it to Niall, who comes to visit him at the Barnard Library with a coffee in one hand and one of the Zayn's favorite muffins from Liz's Place in the other. She jumps to straddle his lap, nearly tipping them in the old wooden chair, and after headbutting him with a fiercely whispered how dare you not tell me first she kisses him full on the lips.
"M'so happy for you," she sings softly, "Liam's walking around like Christmas came early or finals were cancelled or they have those jelly donuts he likes so much from John Jay."
"Really?" Zayn grins at her, tongue against the back of his teeth. He's proud, he realizes after a moment. Proud that it's him that makes Liam feel this way. And that's not an unusual feeling, really. He's grateful when he can cheer up Louis or console Niall, but with Liam, it's. It's all consuming, this desire to make him happy, to - to make sure he doesn't have to endure anything else alone.
He feels the heat rise to his cheeks at the idea and Niall presses into him, burying her face in the crook of Zayn's neck so that tendrils of her long hair get tangled in the creases of his sweatshirt. He feels her inhale and exhale, breath warm. "Tired?" He asks her softly. She nods her head against him, scoots closer, and Zayn puts down the book he's holding and wraps his arms around her. "People are staring, Nialler," he whispers, looking up to see that the students spread out on tables full of heavy books and empty coffee cups are not so subtly glaring at them from behind laptop screens.
Niall pulls back to make sure Zayn can see the way she rolls her eyes, deliberate and dramatic.
"Girls have been staring at you since you walked in here, Zayn, you're the only guy here and you're you."
Zayn smirks amusedly at her and she narrows her eyes at him.
"You're infuriating," she tells him matter-of-factly.
"I've been getting a lot of that recently," he beams at her and she shakes her head at him, smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"Love you," she says, and Zayn softens, kisses her on the cheek.
"Everyone here's gonna think I have a girlfriend now," he whines when he pulls away.
"You have a boyfriend, though," she teases.
"I have a boyfriend though," he repeats a little dumbfounded, sitting back in his chair to look up at Niall with wide eyes.
"Zayn and Lee-yum sitting in a tree," she hums innocently and Zayn wrinkles his nose.
"Niall shut up," he groans, "God."
author snuffleslove
pairing zayn/liam, harry/louis, girl!niall
word count 60k
rating pg-13 (now)
warnings slash, swearing, drugs, genderswap, abuse, domestic violence, dub-con
summary zayn and louis take on columbia (university!au)
a/n AU where the boys are international students at columbia university and new york city is taken by storm.
Harry drops Zayn's bag into the chair next to his at lunch and settles into the one on his other side with a fond roll of his eyes and a shit eating grin, stretching out his limbs and tilting his chair back.
"Thanks, Haz," Zayn apologizes meekly, "Sorry about last night I - "
"S'okay," Harry interrupts him with a wave of his hand, "Get to see you do the walk of shame, that's repayment enough."
"I am not doing the walk of shame," Zayn protests indignantly.
"Those are Liam's clothes. You probably couldn't wear yours because they had come on them - "
"Oh my god, Harry."
"And that, mate, is the definition of the walk of shame," Harry says gleefully, pinching Zayn's side.
But then after a moment his smirk shifts into a sincere smile and he nudges at Zayn happily with his head, tickling Zayn with his curls.
"Bloody ridiculous," Zayn mutters when he's recovered, wrapping an arm around him, "Did you get all your work done last night then, without me to distract you?"
"No," Harry turns slightly to shoot him a mischievous grin. "Went back to your place to meet Louis, was feeling pretty confident that you'd end up staying at Liam's."
Zayn chuckles despite himself, letting the laughter fade into the crowd around them. They're silent for a moment and Zayn enjoys the pause. From their table they've got a bird's eye view of the cafeteria, friends laughing on the pizza line, couples leaning against each other as they wait, the occasional kid in his pajamas, trudging straight to the coffee. Everything feels bright and perfect and happy and Zayn feels like giggling, or dancing or something equally ridiculous, but he contains the giddiness rushing through him, sits with Harry, smiling until his cheeks hurt.
"I didn't tell him, you know," Harry speaks up after a while, thoughtful and slow. Zayn shifts.
"He didn't ask where I was?"
Here, Harry's mouth curves into a smirk.
"Didn't really give him a chance to say much."
"God, please tell me you at least took the time to get to his bed."
Harry shrugs, mysterious and smug and Zayn headbutts him. "You're awful Haz."
When Harry laughs his entire body shakes with it.
"I need your help with something." The words are out of Zayn's mouth before the idea is even fully formed and when Harry glances at him inquisitively, Zayn clears his throat, "How busy are you this week?"
--
shitttt i 4got i hve eats 2nite w the team :( :( wana chill after though comes in while Zayn's walking with Harry towards Dodge. His face must fall a little, because Harry nudges him with a bony elbow, grips a little at his jacket.
"S'nothing, Liam's just busy tonight."
"Oh. S'okay though, you have to tell Louis, remember? I can't promise I can keep it a secret for much longer, you know." he laughs a sheepish laugh and Zayn rolls his eyes.
"You have to keep this a secret though," he waves his hands in front of them, as though this (silly, ridiculous) idea that he has is right in front of them.
"I'll try."
"Harry."
"S'not my fault," he whines, "It's like. I want to share everything with him, you know? I get excited, and then I can't stop talking, and -" he cuts off to open the door for Zayn and Zayn offers a charming smile to the lady sitting behind the desk.
"I'm dealing with children," Zayn tells her woefully. She gives him a look that manages to be both disdainful and uninterested and lets them into the building, Harry snorting into the back of Zayn's neck as they pass.
In the elevator, Zayn thumbs out a quick, i shldn't i have to tell louis with Harry reading over his shoulder.
oh. do i have to ask his permission? comes back a couple seconds later and Zayn chuckles, is about to shoot back a hah, funny when Harry stops him.
"He's serious, Zayn," Harry says, practically tugging him out of the elevator when Zayn looks up at him in surprise. They continue down the long, dimly lit hallway, Harry waving absentmindedly to the few students they pass, and Zayn is momentarily distracted by the fact that everyone greets Harry by name and with a bright smile. "He thinks he needs Louis' approval. Honestly? I think he does too."
Zayn stares at him and Harry stares pointedly back.
"You're being serious."
"Yeah, course I am. You know how Louis is about you."
Zayn raises his eyebrows.
"He's not my father, Harry - " but Harry cuts him off with a long, exasperated sigh. "What?"
"You're infuriating."
"So are you," Zayn snarks back, earning himself a cuff to the back of his head.
"Just let him take care of you ok? Even if it's only to make him feel better."
Zayn considers this for moment, staring at the back of Harry's head while they wait in line to sign out a practice room. Finally, with a relenting sigh he pulls out his phone again.
maybe. and then but he probably likes you better than me at this point, so dw xx
He looks up in time to find that they've reached the front of the line. Harry's leaning against the countertop, long limbs folding ungracefully.
"Hey Beth," he says, voice low, colored with a smile, tinted with a smirk. "You alright?"
"Harry!" she squeals, running around the countertop to throw her arms around him. He laughs good-naturedly. "Where have you been, stranger?"
"Sorry," Harry says in genuine apology, "Been busy, you know. Miller's class is kicking my arse."
She shoots him a skeptical look from behind the countertop once more.
"I highly doubt that. She adored you last semester."
"Not as much as she adored you," Harry counters charmingly, and Zayn's not sure if he should laugh at him or learn from him. Beth colors prettily, lowers her eyes shyly and Zayn smothers his laugh into a cough.
"Harry, stop," she protests with a giggle. "Anyway, what are you doing here today? It's Monday."
"Oh," Harry says, turning sheepish. "About that." He draws his curls to the front of his face and then flips them back quickly. "I was actually wondering -. See my friend Zayn here. We're working on something together. A duet, yeah? But it's a bit time sensitive so I was wondering if you might be able to -" he crooks one corner of his mouth up in a hopeful smile, " - bend the rules for us a little bit?"
"Oh! A duet!" she exclaims delightedly, eyes moving from Harry to examine Zayn, and Zayn forces himself to smile brightly at her. "Will you let me watch?"
"Maybe when it's done," Harry promises her, leaning in over the countertop. She considers him.
"Well alright then, but it wasn't me ok? I don't want to lose my job," she warns him and he grins at her, takes the key she hands him and gives her his ID.
"Brilliant, thanks Beth!" He shoots her a lazy grin over his shoulder as they retreat into the back hallways and it's only when he's sure they're out of earshot that Zayn doubles over with laughter.
"Christ, Haz," he manages.
"What," Harry tries for casual but his ears have gone pink, "It worked, didn't it?"
The room is dark and cramped when they enter it, but Harry finds the light easily and flicks the switch, shutting the heavy soundproof door behind them with a thud. There're two chairs, a few old wired stands and a small piano in one corner with a piano bench that has definitely seen better days.
"You ever, you know, in here?" Zayn asks him innocently, smirking when Harry blushes.
"Maybe," he fumbles around a bit with his bag. "Not with, ah. Not with Louis though so - I mean. Obviously before we got together, I swear - "
"S'okay Haz, relax," Zayn says kindly, coming up to place a hand on the back of his neck.
"Right, yeah," Harry smiles again, "So what song did you have in mind?"
"Have you heard um, Lego House, by Ed Sheeran?"
Harry scoffs, insulted.
"Course I have, it's brilliant."
"Right, sorry. Well, it's only one part, but I was hoping you might um, want to try some harmonies together?"
"Yeah, sounds cool," Harry nods seriously, "I'll see what I can do."
Zayn grins, settles on the floor with his legs spread out in front of him, and Harry settles on the opposite wall, adjusting his feet so they settle in the spaces Zayn has left.
"Let me find the lyrics," he says, reaching for his phone and doing a quick search. Zayn waits, inexplicably nervous without the dim lit attic and the shared toke. He drums his hands against his knees, rhythm unsteady and erratic, until Harry looks up at him with a reassuring smile. "Found em," he says. "You good?"
"Yeah, I think so," he clears his throat against the crack in his voice and Harry nudges him with the edge of his foot.
"Do you wanna start?"
"Oh. Right," Harry giggles a little at him, soft and sweet, so Zayn clears his throat, hums a pitch. Harry's brow scrunches up a bit and he hums the rest of the melody, catching Zayn's note from him.
"S'too high, for me at least. Can we start -" he hums a pitch a step and a half lower, reaching up with a long arm to thumb a note on the piano, "S'a D."
Zayn nods, takes a deep breath and begins to sing. His voice is shaky at first, but it steadies sure enough, settling into Ed Sheeran's first verse, smiling through it when Harry sighs happily and closes his eyes. When he trails off at the end Harry is smiling a secret smile and Zayn frowns worriedly.
"What? Did it sound awful or - "
"No, no, nothing," Harry says, and he can't seem to stop smiling. "It just sounds really good, just you, just like that. But I'm still gonna sing with you," Harry adds quickly when Zayn glares at him, "Go on into the chorus then."
This time Harry catches the harmony, a third below. His voice tangles with Zayn's easily, warm and full against Zayn's lighter sound. Zayn's always known Harry's talented, of course he has. He's watched him perform on stage and improvise easily in the attic but. Here, in this small space, his voice lifts to fill up the room and Zayn can catch every tremor and ornamentation and it's beautiful. He stays low, creating dissonance and then resolving it, focused on the melody Zayn's carrying and Zayn's voice grows stronger, more confident.
When they finish, Harry's beaming.
"That was brilliant," he says earnestly.
"You're alright," Zayn tells him, unable to hide his smile. Harry's grin doesn't falter and he kicks at Zayn lightly, "Do you want the next verse?"
"Fine, but then you pick up the harmony for the next chorus."
"Harry -"
"Zayn," Harry says stubbornly, raising his eyebrows at him.
"Fine," Zayn accepts defeat, "I'll try ok?"
"Zayn, you're good at this, you'll be great. Ok," he takes a breath and then picks up the next verse, nodding at Zayn to cue him in, pointing his finger up with a smirk. Zayn rolls his eyes but obeys, coming in above Harry this time, voice soaring easy against the solid melody Harry lays down, until Harry's grinning into his voice and Zayn's smiling too, satisfied.
"We're good," Harry says firmly, and Zayn has to agree, begins to wonder what they'd sound like with Liam's voice and Louis' guitar in the mix, like if they actually rehearsed something instead of just dicking around. Harry seems to be thinking the same thing because when he catches his eye his gaze is a little bit wild with the idea and the beginnings of a smirk form on his lips.
"Do you wanna run it once and then get out of here?"
Harry nods.
"So are you gonna sing right into Liam's eyes then?"
"Shut up," Zayn mutters around a smile.
--
They part ways in front of Butler.
"Send Louis my love," Harry calls out as he enters the library, narrowly missing running over a small girl with a large coffee.
"Ew," Zayn wrinkles his nose.
--
Louis is stretched out in Zayn's bed when Zayn gets in, a heavy looking book in his lap and a highlighter in his mouth and Zayn ducks his head to hide his foolish smile at the sight, can hardly wait to drop the weight of his bag and join him.
Louis hardly glances up at him even as Zayn lets the door slam so Zayn toes off his shoes and Liam's sweatshirt and nudges his head onto Louis's lap, legs folding so he can lie horizontally on the bed.
"Hi you," he says brightly. From this angle he can see the beginnings of stubble over Louis' chin and he lifts his hand up awkwardly to feel the roughness of the skin there. "I have something to tell you - Louis? Are you alright?" His brain has finally caught on to the fact that Louis looksoff, weary like he's been thinking too many heavy thoughts. "Is this my shirt?" he tugs at the hem of it, shifts to sit up. Louis made this into a habit when they were younger, crawling in through Zayn's bedroom window in the evenings when his parents were fighting or his sisters were ganging up on him, shedding his own clothes in favor of Zayn's sweats and oldest t-shirts and curling up in his bed to wait for Zayn to come back from dinner.
"Nothing's wrong," Louis says meekly, putting the book aside and studiously avoiding eye contact, "That's Liam's shirt isn't it."
"Louis."
"M'not sure the color really suits you - "
"Louis."
Louis sighs, coughs slightly.
"It's really nothing."
"Ok, cool," Zayn waits expectantly, watches the way Louis blushes, twists his hands nervously.
"It's just. Harry and I. We ah. We had sex for the first time," he whispers finally. Oh. Zayn turns so that he can face his friend, tucking his feet under him so his knees fall over Louis' knees and his hands fall over Louis' hands. He stills their fidgeting with a firm pressure.
"That's. That's good right?" Zayn asks cautiously. "I'm surprised you waited this long -"
"It was Harry's first time. With a guy anyway, you know."
Zayn's eyes widen and he closes his mouth with a snap and Louis gives a weak laugh.
"Trust me, that was my reaction too," he says. Well that was something Zayn hadn't really expected but -
"First times are normally awful though, aren't they? So -"
"Exactly," Louis interrupts mournfully, extracting his hands from Zayn to bury his face in them.
"Ok Lou, now you've lost me -"
"It was really good, Zayn," Louis says softly, looking up at Zayn, "I mean, it wasn't like, rose petals and smooth sailing, or anything like that, but. He was perfect, you know?" Louis's looking at Zayn with wide eyes and color in his cheeks and Zayn can't help but grin back at him, cheeky and knowing, "Shut up," Louis mutters, smiling despite himself, "I know I sound like a complete tosser, I just. I love him so much, yeah? It terrifies me."
"Oh, Louis," Zayn shakes his head fondly, slim fingers curling round his wrists to feel his quickened pulse. He leans in to press a kiss to his forehead, and then shifts to tuck Louis into his side. "He loves you too."
"Fuck."
"Fuck," Zayn agrees, laughing softly in Louis' hair. "And I love you."
Louis snorts.
"I know that, you sap," he scoffs, squeezing Zayn's side. "Anyway. I told you I was just being a twat. So what did you have to tell me."
It's Zayn's turn to heat up, but he smiles through it, safe in the way Louis clutches at the hem of Liam's shirt.
"Liam and I are gonna give it a go," he says.
"Oh really?" Louis grins, not sounding the least bit surprised. He sits up to look Zayn in the eye, "I hear you used words and everything this time."
Zayn stares at him for a second and then it dawns on him.
"Oh my god, he actually asked for your permission," Zayn says wonderingly.
"Course he did. He's a smart bloke," Louis says loftily, kissing the top of Zayn's head, "M'really happy for you," he whispers, "Are you ok?"
Zayn doesn't hesitate.
"Yeah, I mean. I'm really bloody nervous about fucking things up but - "
"You're not the only one," Louis chimes in softly.
"We'll be ok," Zayn tells him on a wave of bravado, nosing into Louis' neck and inhaling.
"Look at us," Louis says quietly, after a moment of simple, tangled limbs. "All settled down with these fucking brilliant people," his thumb finds it's way under Zayn's shirt to trace his scar and for the first time it feels like nothing but dead knotted skin, "and so stupidly happy. Did you ever think that could be us?"
"Happiness was never a question," Zayn chides gently, resting his chin against Louis' head, "M'always happy when I'm with you."
Louis says nothing for a long while after that, just smiles a pleased smile and hums, content.
"Now we just need to find someone for Niall," Louis comments idly.
"Niall is not allowed to date anybody," Zayn growls out stubbornly and Louis tangles their feet together and calls him an idiot and Zayn feels whole.
Alive and happy and whole.
--
The problem with dicking around the entire weekend is that now Zayn's scrambling to catch up. He's got two ten page papers due at the end of the week and about a hundred pages of reading besides. As much as he hates to do it, he buckles down, holes himself up in the library for hours on end, and his relationship with Liam is reduced to a handful of i miss you texts and quiet phone calls at night, and that one time Zayn manages to it make to sociology, hushed promises like god the next time i see you im gonna suck your brains out through your cock.
He's forced to whine about it to Niall, who comes to visit him at the Barnard Library with a coffee in one hand and one of the Zayn's favorite muffins from Liz's Place in the other. She jumps to straddle his lap, nearly tipping them in the old wooden chair, and after headbutting him with a fiercely whispered how dare you not tell me first she kisses him full on the lips.
"M'so happy for you," she sings softly, "Liam's walking around like Christmas came early or finals were cancelled or they have those jelly donuts he likes so much from John Jay."
"Really?" Zayn grins at her, tongue against the back of his teeth. He's proud, he realizes after a moment. Proud that it's him that makes Liam feel this way. And that's not an unusual feeling, really. He's grateful when he can cheer up Louis or console Niall, but with Liam, it's. It's all consuming, this desire to make him happy, to - to make sure he doesn't have to endure anything else alone.
He feels the heat rise to his cheeks at the idea and Niall presses into him, burying her face in the crook of Zayn's neck so that tendrils of her long hair get tangled in the creases of his sweatshirt. He feels her inhale and exhale, breath warm. "Tired?" He asks her softly. She nods her head against him, scoots closer, and Zayn puts down the book he's holding and wraps his arms around her. "People are staring, Nialler," he whispers, looking up to see that the students spread out on tables full of heavy books and empty coffee cups are not so subtly glaring at them from behind laptop screens.
Niall pulls back to make sure Zayn can see the way she rolls her eyes, deliberate and dramatic.
"Girls have been staring at you since you walked in here, Zayn, you're the only guy here and you're you."
Zayn smirks amusedly at her and she narrows her eyes at him.
"You're infuriating," she tells him matter-of-factly.
"I've been getting a lot of that recently," he beams at her and she shakes her head at him, smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
"Love you," she says, and Zayn softens, kisses her on the cheek.
"Everyone here's gonna think I have a girlfriend now," he whines when he pulls away.
"You have a boyfriend, though," she teases.
"I have a boyfriend though," he repeats a little dumbfounded, sitting back in his chair to look up at Niall with wide eyes.
"Zayn and Lee-yum sitting in a tree," she hums innocently and Zayn wrinkles his nose.
"Niall shut up," he groans, "God."