This and this and this and this and this is all just too much.
I just want to cry. Things are just too much. Everything keeps on piling on top of each other. And the more I have to do, the less things get done. I wish someone could come and clean my house for me and get my laundry up to date and everything so I can just feel like I have time and room to organise my thoughts and feelings about everything else that's going on. I feel like my heart is getting flattened. And I just wish I could stop feeling guilty about everything that I don't do perfectly. Mother guilt. It's all just getting on top of me. I really want the house completely clean so that I can start putting up the Christmas decorations. For some reason it just seems like... I just can't do it. I'm so tired... Sooo fucking tired.
Also forgot to mention that I haven't been sleeping right for the last couple of weeks and that's just proof of how much this is all affecting me, because otherwise I'd just think I was overreacting. I haven't been sleeping right, I've been so tired during the day, and I've been getting sick more frequently than ever before. All illnesses seem to do have something to do with my throat and I constantly have headaches.
I don't have time to go to OPSM and take advantage of this $125 off prescription glasses voucher I have, and I really, really need new glasses, too. There's just no time or room to do anything, and so I just do nothing instead.
Le sigh.
I think my mum's depressed as well after having her mother and grandmother pass away within two weeks of each other, her grandson diagnosed with ASD, and her financial situation worsening all at the same time. And here I am, slowly but steadily falling to pieces and begging her to help keep me together.
And I have so very little energy left to just spend time enjoying playing with my son. I love him so much. I feel like he always ends up at the bottom of every "to do" list and I hate it.
Also forgot to mention that I haven't been sleeping right for the last couple of weeks and that's just proof of how much this is all affecting me, because otherwise I'd just think I was overreacting. I haven't been sleeping right, I've been so tired during the day, and I've been getting sick more frequently than ever before. All illnesses seem to do have something to do with my throat and I constantly have headaches.
I don't have time to go to OPSM and take advantage of this $125 off prescription glasses voucher I have, and I really, really need new glasses, too. There's just no time or room to do anything, and so I just do nothing instead.
Le sigh.
I think my mum's depressed as well after having her mother and grandmother pass away within two weeks of each other, her grandson diagnosed with ASD, and her financial situation worsening all at the same time. And here I am, slowly but steadily falling to pieces and begging her to help keep me together.
And I have so very little energy left to just spend time enjoying playing with my son. I love him so much. I feel like he always ends up at the bottom of every "to do" list and I hate it.