(no subject)
things change.
people change, feelings change... time changes everything...
sometimes i wish that they didn't, or at least... change in the way that they do. i'm always the one being left behind, people change in how they feel, but i am always left feeling the same way, hurting, and struggling with why i got left behind again. sometimes you see things, glimpses of how things were, or perhaps you just imagine it... most likely the latter. i wish that for once i would be the one who would change first, perhaps hurting the other person, but for once, avoiding being hurt. but then again, i know that i would never want to hurt anyone, and no one really means to hurt me, or anyone else... but that's just how things are. new things come along, old things go away, and you are left wishing that you could go back to a simpler time, when you were sure of what you felt and what they felt for you. back when you were so sure, and had something to hold onto. but the winds of change bring new things, new complications, new situations, new players in this sometimes cruel game we call life... and suddenly... you're not good enough anymore. no one needs you anymore, and you wonder if they ever really did at all. but in times like this i can find solace in knowing that somewhere, someone needs me, somewhere someone thinks the world of me, and appreciates me for what i try to do, and would do for them. perhaps someday when the allure of the new and intrigue of the unknown have worn off, they will notice what they miss, discover that they wish only for the one thing that was always there, but in the rush to explore what's new, got pushed aside and forgotten. perhaps, if they are lucky, it will still be there. perhaps they will find something new and better amongst the new experiences, and the old familiarity of comfort and security will seem just that... old. perhaps when the tables are turned, when what they couldn't have is found to be sadly lacking, and what they had before is no longer in their grasp, perhaps they will realize what they had... and perhaps not. perhaps in the eyes of one, their importance in the grand scheme of things, and in the lives of others is vastly out of proportion, inflated by a belief that what they did was truly worthwile... when in reality, it was nothing. oh how cruel is the twist of fate that leaves me here contemplating the workings of the human heart, and the enigmas of the female mind. a man will never understand what a woman sees in another man, when in his eyes he is twide the man than the object of her affections. but in truth, only she knows what she wants, and one can think that he would fulfill every wish that she would ever have... but if she wishes for another, then in that wish he falls sadly short. and it is late, and i am over analyzing life, and my place in it. why do i even care so much? what makes one any different than another... if i truly believed that it didn't matter, then would it bother me that much? probably not, so obviously it matters. but it doesn't, because there is nothing i can do to change how things are.
people change, feelings change... time changes everything...
sometimes i wish that they didn't, or at least... change in the way that they do. i'm always the one being left behind, people change in how they feel, but i am always left feeling the same way, hurting, and struggling with why i got left behind again. sometimes you see things, glimpses of how things were, or perhaps you just imagine it... most likely the latter. i wish that for once i would be the one who would change first, perhaps hurting the other person, but for once, avoiding being hurt. but then again, i know that i would never want to hurt anyone, and no one really means to hurt me, or anyone else... but that's just how things are. new things come along, old things go away, and you are left wishing that you could go back to a simpler time, when you were sure of what you felt and what they felt for you. back when you were so sure, and had something to hold onto. but the winds of change bring new things, new complications, new situations, new players in this sometimes cruel game we call life... and suddenly... you're not good enough anymore. no one needs you anymore, and you wonder if they ever really did at all. but in times like this i can find solace in knowing that somewhere, someone needs me, somewhere someone thinks the world of me, and appreciates me for what i try to do, and would do for them. perhaps someday when the allure of the new and intrigue of the unknown have worn off, they will notice what they miss, discover that they wish only for the one thing that was always there, but in the rush to explore what's new, got pushed aside and forgotten. perhaps, if they are lucky, it will still be there. perhaps they will find something new and better amongst the new experiences, and the old familiarity of comfort and security will seem just that... old. perhaps when the tables are turned, when what they couldn't have is found to be sadly lacking, and what they had before is no longer in their grasp, perhaps they will realize what they had... and perhaps not. perhaps in the eyes of one, their importance in the grand scheme of things, and in the lives of others is vastly out of proportion, inflated by a belief that what they did was truly worthwile... when in reality, it was nothing. oh how cruel is the twist of fate that leaves me here contemplating the workings of the human heart, and the enigmas of the female mind. a man will never understand what a woman sees in another man, when in his eyes he is twide the man than the object of her affections. but in truth, only she knows what she wants, and one can think that he would fulfill every wish that she would ever have... but if she wishes for another, then in that wish he falls sadly short. and it is late, and i am over analyzing life, and my place in it. why do i even care so much? what makes one any different than another... if i truly believed that it didn't matter, then would it bother me that much? probably not, so obviously it matters. but it doesn't, because there is nothing i can do to change how things are.