hmmmmmm
commitment... it's not what a lot of people think it is... or at least... not in the sense that they usally think. It's not time. as far as commitment goes... you never know how long it's going to last. commitment is more... a state of mind, a state of being if you will. commitment is saying that you've found someone who you think it is worth to give your all to, you believe that they are special enought to warrant your all, everything that you can give them, and you're willing to do it. does that mean there is attachment? defintiely. if there is no attachment, then what are you doing? is it really worth it? are you being fair to yourself? are you being fair to the other person? think about it... if there is attachment, is there a chance of being heartbroken? i'm not going to lie to you... yes there is. Whatever you have... it may last a long time, and it may last for a short time. It may cause you frustration, heartache, tears... but with it comes an unbelievable feeling, cherished memories, the knowledge that you are part of something unique, something special, something that everyone else has the capability to experience, and yet not another soul on earth can experience it the same way that you can. whether it ends suddenly, slowly, expectedly, unexpectedly, peacefully, violently, clearly, or unlearly, or if it doesn't end at all... it is worth every second and every effort that you put into it. if all this is commitment and what makes commitment worthwhile... then is commitment love? perhaps. is it true love if it doesn't last? of course it is. there are different kinds of love, but they're all love. so too is the varying degrees of love. love lasts forever, but not always in the same form. love between two lovers can change into the love between two friends, in time becoming like the love of siblings, or perhaps it will dwindle into cherished memory... which is yet still a form of love. is it worth it all? yes. is it worth wearing your heart and soul on your sleeve? risking humiliation, rejection, even scorn? yes, and yes. is it worth losing your heart, without control, not being able to do anything about it? yes. is it worth it even if who you lose your heart to rejects you, spurns you, turns you away, throws your affection back in your face? yes, even then. is it worth it when after you took part in something wonderful, something special, be it for a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime, when you sit there empty inside and empty outside, left holding pictures, letters, and memories... is it worth it even then? i say again, yes. is it an exercise in futility? this seemingly ineffective search for something so wonderful as to warrant the heartache and turmoil that we bring upon ourselves in the name of love? i think not. in every failed endeavor, there lies lessons, moments, memories, things that will last a lifetime, and help us each on our way to discovering our true potential for giving ourselves wholeheartedly to another. so do not despair oh weary hearted. do not fear to do it all again. even as your heart shudders from the blow of another heartache dealt by the unwilling, unable, or uncaring, be confident that all hope is not lost. for even as you heal, you grow stronger. your capacity to love grows greater, and though your faith may shudder, it will not fail, and your hope of finding love once again will carry you through, give you the strength to do it all over again. even if you were hurt, is there any justice in giving in and giving up? even when it seems like your heart has been torn out of your chest, and you have been left with an empty hole, if you have been hurt, giving up and giving in is just showing whoever hurt you that they were right, that you weren't strong enough. but you are strong enough. you are, you always were, and you always will be. give yourself a little more credit. you may not be able to stand back to your feet yet, but you're not content to crawl, and you will be o.k. do i live this... i try... and i'm more successful at times than at others... do i believe this... deep down, yes, i'm sure that this is how it has to be. love is too wonderful to be any way but this way. love is not a cruel joke, even though at times it may seem that way... it is a great gift. and that's why we can never be afraid of it.