Comments | smash_logs: An Out of this World Sexual Therapy! The Smell of Cologne, Chickens and Cigarettes?!

reign_of_power in smash_logs

An Out of this World Sexual Therapy! The Smell of Cologne, Chickens and Cigarettes?!

Mar 10, 2011 23:32

Who: AU Ganondorf & Italian Spiderman
What: OPEN OFFICE LOG
Where: The not Ganondorf's Office
When: Whenever you need and want it, baby. (7th-12th)
Warnings:THIS LOG WILL BE RATED M FOR MATURE

( Look at me. Look at this log. Now back to...okay just click on this )

mario (mario), ganondorf dragmire (zelda), !open log

Comments 27

vaporeonshowers March 11 2011, 04:41:53 UTC

Date and Relative time: 7th, noonish
Door open or closed?: Open.
Snoopers allowed?: Yes totally.

Vaporeon knew what sex was. She'd never really cared to indulged in it herself, but the internet left her no stranger to the subject. Humans were kinda gross.

But lately, with the arrival of certain new people to the school, she found she had new feelings. Tingly feelings. In her heart, mostly, but sometimes elsewhere. Who else could she turn to but THE INTERNET that attractive guy who smelled really good and was apparently knowledgeable about this kind of thing?

She shamelessly strode right on into the reception area, took a deep breath and...!

HACK. COUGH. Gross.

"Hey, you're not Gary Ganning Bart Simpson... Jacob... Lemon... that other guy!"

punchthebowtie March 11 2011, 05:35:49 UTC

"Oh I'm in here," a sweet deep masculine voice answered from the door. He peeked from in, looking perfectly well dressed and crisp as morning day. "That's Italian's most famous hero, Spiderman. He's here to help me out."

vaporeonshowers March 11 2011, 05:39:02 UTC

"That's Spiderman?!"

He looked a lot different than on TV. What if. The TV version was just an actor. To keep the real Spiderman's identity a secret. Yeah, that made sense!

"Sorry, Spiderman! I didn't recognize you. I'm gonna have to get your autograph later. BUT FIRST. I need your help." She pointed at GGBLDJDF.

punchthebowtie March 11 2011, 05:42:11 UTC

GGBLDJDF waved his hand at her.

"Then come inside. My OFFICE!...is waiting." The dude had a flare for the overly dramatic, that was most certainly for sure.

Inside, the air was pure, crisp and smooth, like mere moments after a shower. There was no smoke at all in here, just a few birds fluttery about looking occupied. Gangan pointed her to a rather comfortable couch.

"Please. Have a seat."

Thread 13

pkwallstaple March 12 2011, 23:12:06 UTC

Date and Relative time: 9th, 4pm
Door open or closed?: Ooooopen
Snoopers allowed?: IT SAYS OPEN

So, Duster had been getting some mixed signals from his not-girlfriend recently. And he needed help in figuring them out. But he didn't want anybody he knew to know about it. So that left out Flint or Lucas (and anyway talking to Lucas about love problems was, for Duster, slightly awkward because he was way older than him anyway). Lighter had gone home. And he didn't really have any guy friends. Duster needed to get some guy friends.

But since he didn't have any of those, he decided to try this teacher who does sexual relationship advice thing. It was sort of weird that someone would do that. But maybe it would help.

Who... was that strange man at the desk, was he the guy? "Hello, I'd like to make an appointment," he said to the guy.

jesu_christo March 18 2011, 00:55:41 UTC

No, he was not the guy. He was a guy, but not the guy.

The guy was busy in the other room, probably showering again or folding towels or something.

"You been here before?" He asked, producing a manila folder from parts unknown.

mailcalltime March 13 2011, 03:59:24 UTC

Date and Relative time: 12th, 4PM
Door open or closed?: Open
Snoopers allowed?: Yes

Parakarry pressed himself flatly against the door, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

He wasn't here for any advice on love and sex. He had no time for such frivolous things to distract him from his job. No, Parakarry was here because he had heard that there was a man assisting Ganon that bore an uncanny resemblance to Mario.

Parakarry wanted to see for himself if it really was the Mario. And if it was him, to eliminate that bothersome plumber once and for all.

He poked his head out a bit as he waited patiently, hoping to launch a surprise attack once Mario stepped out of the dorm.

jesu_christo March 18 2011, 01:46:14 UTC

NO MARIOS HERE, JUST SPIDERMEN.

This particular Spiderman was slacking off on the job pretty bad. Was that a Vogue Magazine he was reading...? Naw.

He was blissfully unaware that he was being stalked.

mailcalltime March 18 2011, 02:55:44 UTC

Parakarry glared, not budging from his spot.

"Did he grow his hair out?" he mused to himself in a hushed tone. Was that Vogue?
No matter, his target was distracted meaning it was the perfect moment to strike!

The paratroopa sprang from his hiding place and with his hand curled into a fist, he lunged at the Italian superhero.

"Now I've got you, Mario!"

jesu_christo March 19 2011, 10:08:23 UTC

OH.

NO.

This mysterious mystery man was so surprised that the magazine went flying! For one brief second he stared death (or, in this case, a winged turtle) right in the face, and then vanished on the spot with a strange 'pop' sound.

He reappeared behind Parakarry with a similar weird noise and asked, "Who's Mario?"

Thread 9

impish_shadow March 14 2011, 00:42:28 UTC

Date and Relative time: 11th, let's say around 2 pm.
Door open or closed?: Open
Snoopers allowed?: Ye

Midna didn't need relationship advice, sexual or otherwise. What she was after was a confirmation that this Ganon Bart Lemming... whatever the hell he said his full name was. She wanted to know if he was in fact for real. Things were just too weird. Certainly Midna had expected a degree of weirdness upon her arrival, but not because the people she knew were entirely different people. Most of them, anyway. Having a few of them remain the same was comforting, but at the same time it made the ones that were different that much more worrisome.

So she strode into the room with a distinct feeling of familiarity, though she paused to take a look around her at the changes the room had undergone since she had last been in it.

punchthebowtie March 17 2011, 01:52:39 UTC

The smoke from Italian Spiderman's smirking filled the air. Gangan peeked from his weirdly clean office, cool and crisp.

"What brings such a charming and beautiful creature like you here?"

impish_shadow March 17 2011, 06:50:49 UTC

She didn't think Italian Spiderman's habits were very healthy. He might want to go get that smirk checked out.

Midna stared into Ganondorf's weirdly clean office, cocking an incredulous brow at him. "I'm afraid to say you did, lest it inflate your opinion of yourself even more."