An Out of this World Sexual Therapy! The Smell of Cologne, Chickens and Cigarettes?!

[reign_of_power]

Who: AU Ganondorf & Italian Spiderman
What: OPEN OFFICE LOG
Where: The not Ganondorf's Office
When: Whenever you need and want it, baby. (7th-12th)
Warnings:THIS LOG WILL BE RATED M FOR MATURE

Comments

[vaporeonshowers]

Date and Relative time: 7th, noonish
Door open or closed?: Open.
Snoopers allowed?: Yes totally.

Vaporeon knew what sex was. She'd never really cared to indulged in it herself, but the internet left her no stranger to the subject. Humans were kinda gross.

But lately, with the arrival of certain new people to the school, she found she had new feelings. Tingly feelings. In her heart, mostly, but sometimes elsewhere. Who else could she turn to but THE INTERNET that attractive guy who smelled really good and was apparently knowledgeable about this kind of thing?

She shamelessly strode right on into the reception area, took a deep breath and...!

HACK. COUGH. Gross.

"Hey, you're not Gary Ganning Bart Simpson... Jacob... Lemon... that other guy!"

[punchthebowtie]

"Oh I'm in here," a sweet deep masculine voice answered from the door. He peeked from in, looking perfectly well dressed and crisp as morning day. "That's Italian's most famous hero, Spiderman. He's here to help me out."

[vaporeonshowers]

"That's Spiderman?!"

He looked a lot different than on TV. What if. The TV version was just an actor. To keep the real Spiderman's identity a secret. Yeah, that made sense!

"Sorry, Spiderman! I didn't recognize you. I'm gonna have to get your autograph later. BUT FIRST. I need your help." She pointed at GGBLDJDF.

[punchthebowtie]

GGBLDJDF waved his hand at her.

"Then come inside. My OFFICE!...is waiting." The dude had a flare for the overly dramatic, that was most certainly for sure.

Inside, the air was pure, crisp and smooth, like mere moments after a shower. There was no smoke at all in here, just a few birds fluttery about looking occupied. Gangan pointed her to a rather comfortable couch.

"Please. Have a seat."

[vaporeonshowers]

For a moment Vaporeon could have sworn the couch resembled a pair of gigantic lips. HOW STRANGE. It was just the shape and the colour mixing her up, probably. Anyway, what was with all the birds? She shooed a sparrow away from one end of the couch before taking a seat.

"So I've never been in here before. Obviously. How's this even supposed to work?"

[punchthebowtie]

"It's a rather simple process in its elegance," he explained, sitting down himself as birds sat on his elbows. He fed them some sunflower seeds. "You tell me problems you might have, or questions regarding either the fairer sex, your own discoveries or simple questions you wish someone could tell you the answers to. And then I answer them."

[vaporeonshowers]

"Hmm." Sounded simple enough. If only she could put her troubles into words! She sighed and kicked her legs back and forth, staring at the ceiling.

"How do you make somebody like you?"

[punchthebowtie]

"It depends." He looked at her, resting his arms on the desk. "Love is not something to be taken lightly. Making someone like you, that is, forced, is not recommended. Is there someone in particular that caught your eye?"

[vaporeonshowers]

What. But other Pokemon used Attract all the time.

"Well... Sort of. I mean, he attacked me and insulted me, but there's something about him that's just... I feel like I know him somewhere. From a dream, maybe. That's a good sign, right?"

[punchthebowtie]

Something Gangan did not know much about, mysterious narrator.

"But he attacked and insulted you. That's not." He spun a finger, flicking a light in his hand as he did so. "The flames of passion can quickly be ignited but remember..." the flame died out. "...it may stop just as quickly. But you say you know him from somewhere. Tell me more."

[vaporeonshowers]

Silly Gangan. How can you be in a school full of Pokemon and not know much about them.

Vaporeon never was one for fire metaphors, but she got the gist of what he was saying. She pouted slightly. "I dunno... I can't think of where I would have met him, and he's not actually a movie star. Like I said, it might have been a dream. Or maybe a past life!" How romantic. And cheesy. And stupid.

[punchthebowtie]

Gangan never was a big Pokemon collector. He rather liked meeting them.

"Past lives. That could make sense." Don't worry, he dealt with cheesy on a daily basis. He was a professional. "Perhaps the fact he attacked you was a sign you hurt him in that previous life."

[vaporeonshowers]

That... was not what she wanted to hear. Her expression went from hopeful to absolutely crestfallen in less than a second.

"Some kind of karma, huh...?"

What if some alternate version of herself was responsible for making him what he was now?