Lemons and lemonade.
I'm trying.
I'm trying to take it slowly and be careful and not mess up. I'm trying to do it right. To not let me get the better of me.
So far, I think I'm doing ok.
He brought up making plans that were farther than next Tuesday and I didn't immediately cringe and reach for the door handle. He held my hand, and I didn't immediately pull away.
It's baby steps. And I think I'm kinda like 15 months old in that respect. I can do it, but I'm slow, and I stumble a lot.
I think half the battle is that I'm just trying. I'm trying to work on it. I'm trying to be cool with the idea of having a boyfriend again. It's farther away than I think anyone realizes, especially his friends, but I thought about it today. And I thought thinking about that was a pretty big deal.
He's a sweetheart, and so chill. Which is great. So as long as he stays cool with this going the speed of smell, I'll keep trying too. I'll keep trying to move on and be ready. Because with a nice guy, it might just happen. I might take a leap.
Maybe if we go slowly, and he doesn't push too much, we might make it.
Because I really want to. I really want to make a go of this new part of my life. I don't want to live in fear forever, in sadness, in complacency about love because I had it once and lost it. I want to try. And he might be the one to get me to try.
I'm trying to take it slowly and be careful and not mess up. I'm trying to do it right. To not let me get the better of me.
So far, I think I'm doing ok.
He brought up making plans that were farther than next Tuesday and I didn't immediately cringe and reach for the door handle. He held my hand, and I didn't immediately pull away.
It's baby steps. And I think I'm kinda like 15 months old in that respect. I can do it, but I'm slow, and I stumble a lot.
I think half the battle is that I'm just trying. I'm trying to work on it. I'm trying to be cool with the idea of having a boyfriend again. It's farther away than I think anyone realizes, especially his friends, but I thought about it today. And I thought thinking about that was a pretty big deal.
He's a sweetheart, and so chill. Which is great. So as long as he stays cool with this going the speed of smell, I'll keep trying too. I'll keep trying to move on and be ready. Because with a nice guy, it might just happen. I might take a leap.
Maybe if we go slowly, and he doesn't push too much, we might make it.
Because I really want to. I really want to make a go of this new part of my life. I don't want to live in fear forever, in sadness, in complacency about love because I had it once and lost it. I want to try. And he might be the one to get me to try.