i hate late nights with a passion. i hate the passion in late nights.
fuck. im going to be using that word a lot right now so excuse me.
fuck. i hate night time. i used to love it because it meant i had time to sleep. and usually i felt i didnt have enough time. now i cant sleep. i havent slept in ages it seems, and i dread the night. i want eternal daytime so i dont have to be bored and alone and sad. i hate myself for going online this late at night. well, early in the morning really. and finding out that klima is moving to south carolina by the end of this month. i hate feeling like everything is finally slipping away from me and that im really just losing control this time. i cried tonight while i was doing my not-sleeping/zoning-out stuff. i want to sleep again and i want to erase tonight from my life. and i want chris to stay. and i really wish danyelle would talk to me again, but i know that will never happen. it is okay to be mad at him? he just tells me tonight in my vulnerable drowzy state and im upset and hes telling me nice things about wishing he could come back as my tears and im mad. mad. mad. mad. mad. mad. i dont want to have to miss anybody. its another emotion i dont want to have to feel. i hate south carolina for stealing my friend. like i hate georgia and california for taking hunter from me those years ago. i hate hot states for stealing my friends. they hate me too. thats why i love new york.
::sarah::
fuck. i hate night time. i used to love it because it meant i had time to sleep. and usually i felt i didnt have enough time. now i cant sleep. i havent slept in ages it seems, and i dread the night. i want eternal daytime so i dont have to be bored and alone and sad. i hate myself for going online this late at night. well, early in the morning really. and finding out that klima is moving to south carolina by the end of this month. i hate feeling like everything is finally slipping away from me and that im really just losing control this time. i cried tonight while i was doing my not-sleeping/zoning-out stuff. i want to sleep again and i want to erase tonight from my life. and i want chris to stay. and i really wish danyelle would talk to me again, but i know that will never happen. it is okay to be mad at him? he just tells me tonight in my vulnerable drowzy state and im upset and hes telling me nice things about wishing he could come back as my tears and im mad. mad. mad. mad. mad. mad. i dont want to have to miss anybody. its another emotion i dont want to have to feel. i hate south carolina for stealing my friend. like i hate georgia and california for taking hunter from me those years ago. i hate hot states for stealing my friends. they hate me too. thats why i love new york.
::sarah::