all secksed up and ready to go. all secksed up and nowhere to go.

[smallwhitebike]

so today was good in a weird way. i left britt's early to walk home to shower and what not but i got bored and carried away and crimped my hair and put on red lipstick and a mini-skirt and really felt gorgey. and i walked around my neighborhood and back to brittanys wearing my dramatic 20s makeup and my mini and felt really hot. actually, hott. we watched kissing a fool and B.A.P.S. it felt nice. i feel oh-so-nice. (im getting really freaky and nuts) but then i went to marni's grandmother's shiva house and remembered exactly how much i hated people for dying. like ben. i liked him so much and i think his death is what made me so focused on being happy and not needing certain things in my life. i need to stay sane and positive because i need to survive. i want to be so much like ben, he had dreams and focus and drive, and drugs. this is why i need to be me.

::sarah::