beware: self-loathing ahead.
I feel like absolute shit. I haven't felt this frustrated about life in general since the summer. Work is driving me up the wall. I walk in to either job everyday and I literally hate everyone who walks through the door that I have to wait on. I'm sick of trying to sell people things they don't need. I'm sick of working 40 hours a week and getting paid like I only worked 20. I'm so intolerant of people's stupid questions when the answers are literally right in front of them, I don't want to help anyone out if they can't make a decision, I'm tired of people delaying me going home because they can't see that the goddamn shop is clearly closed, and I'm so, so tired of smiling at them because I have to when all I want to do is strangle them for being so stupid. I'm just tired.
It's so discouraging to have a college degree and not even be using it. I almost regret getting my degree in arts administration. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have just gone into nursing like I wanted to do in like, middle school. Granted, I'd probably still be in school, but the minute I was done you bet I'd have a job. I should have listened to my dad. What the fuck am I going to do with my life with this degree?
I'm starting to get real anxious again about everything being temporary. I would not be surprised if by this time next year I'm living with my parents again in shitty Warren, still working shitty part time jobs. I don't know when things are going to settle down, and it's driving me crazy. Some nights I feel like I can't breathe because all of this just weighs down on me so much.
I just feel so exhaustingly discouraged. I need a change, I need to feel good about something again. I haven't felt proud of anything I've done since I graduated in April. And even then, I honestly didn't feel like that was that big of an accomplishment. All I want is a solid job, a husband, and to start a family. Is that so much for a twentysomething to ask for? [well, maybe it is.]
It's Monday. I just [just?] have to get through this week and I'll have a lovely weekend at home.
Time to shower off the ridiculous self-pity I'm covered in...
It's so discouraging to have a college degree and not even be using it. I almost regret getting my degree in arts administration. I don't know what I was thinking. I should have just gone into nursing like I wanted to do in like, middle school. Granted, I'd probably still be in school, but the minute I was done you bet I'd have a job. I should have listened to my dad. What the fuck am I going to do with my life with this degree?
I'm starting to get real anxious again about everything being temporary. I would not be surprised if by this time next year I'm living with my parents again in shitty Warren, still working shitty part time jobs. I don't know when things are going to settle down, and it's driving me crazy. Some nights I feel like I can't breathe because all of this just weighs down on me so much.
I just feel so exhaustingly discouraged. I need a change, I need to feel good about something again. I haven't felt proud of anything I've done since I graduated in April. And even then, I honestly didn't feel like that was that big of an accomplishment. All I want is a solid job, a husband, and to start a family. Is that so much for a twentysomething to ask for? [well, maybe it is.]
It's Monday. I just [just?] have to get through this week and I'll have a lovely weekend at home.
Time to shower off the ridiculous self-pity I'm covered in...