beautiful disaster
beautiful disaster
krystal
rated pg-13
disclaimer: i know i might get a lot of hate for writing this fanfic,
but it is what it is: fanfiction. it's a very.. controversial piece & lots of angst.
i am not an anti of any of the people mentioned in the story.
all of the people are my biases: jessica, yuri, minho, krystal & sulli.
i just felt like experimenting with this idea... and this is how it turns out.
so here we go...
Krystal doesn’t even know when all this hate started building up in her. All the anger, all the pain, they just seem to keep on coming, mounting, building up in her… She doesn’t know if it will stop, if it’ll ever stop. But she’s a teenager. Isn’t she subjected to being like this? She’s emotional; but isn’t that how all teenagers act? Sometimes, people forget that idols are human too. She gets mad, she gets angry, she gets upset. She would want to scream in the middle of the broadcast sometimes when she sees the camera lens closing up on her. It’s all too much. Can’t you stop? She wants to cry when she reads the comment boards. All those people, hiding behind their virtual selves, their computers-what right do they have to criticize her?
“Omo, what is that girl wearing? Doesn’t she know she’s underage?”
“She’s such a slut.”
“That fucking bitch better get the fuck off my oppa.”
Krystal’s already used to all that. All she can do was swallow that lump that’s forming in her throat and keep on thrusting harder next to their precious oppas, just to taunt them bitches some more.
It’s not fair. Had she really trained all these years for this? For all the criticism, for all the labeling, for all the judging? These people know absolutely nothing about her, yet they’re the first to say and teach her how to act, how to be a good person-how to be a proper Krystal Jung?
Day after day, all these feelings-frustration, anger, disappointment, irritation-it just builds up and mounds. Krystal thinks that her heart is about to burst from feeling so full. It wasn’t fair.
Jessica sees it. Probably because she’s gone through it. She tries to comfort Krystal by petting the younger sister’s head. It’ll be alright. These feelings will go away with time. You’ll get used to it. You’re just young. But Krystal doesn’t need the comfort. Jessica shouldn’t feel the need to be an older sister, Krystal does well on her own. In fact, it should be the other way… Krystal comforting Jessica, because well… those words have been bubbling on Krystal’s lips for so long.
Unnie, how does it feel? It’s sad isn’t it… that you’re just here because of me. Without me, would you have such success with SoNyuhShiDae? Really? Ask yourself. Without your baby sister, would you really have the life you have now? You, … would you have Tiffany unnie? What about Yuri unnie? No. You are here because of me. Remember that. Everyone refers to me as ‘Jessica’s sister.’ They think I’m riding on your fame. But the truth is, SM Entertainment wanted to recruit me, never you. So how does it feel… riding on my fame, unnie? You’re riding on my luck. Just never forget that.
Those were Krystal’s true words. But she would never act upon them. Doesn’t mean she never feels it.
Sulli sees the sullen look in Krystal’s eyes. “Krystal…” Sulli tilts her head and looks up at Krystal with wide, bright eyes. “Are you ok these days? You haven’t been talking much to me or Victoria unnie… Is there anything I-”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, just look after yourself.” Krystal mutters softly, but the icy undertone was noticed and the words had affected Sulli already, seeing the way her round eyes widened and her jaw dropped, forming a small ‘o’ with her full lips. Krystal doesn’t even have the time to bother… It was her turn to get her hair and make-up done by codi-unnie and so she left Sulli without another word. Krystal could only scoff when she saw that Sulli still have the bewildered expression on her face. She was one of Krystal’s closest friends, but how could it be that Krystal feels like Sulli’s such a fake?
Stop acting cute. You’re not even the maknae. And that eye-smile of yours? It’s not even pretty. I’m not even going to lie. Why do you look surprised? Just because you think you’re pretty, the whole world isn’t going to agree. Face it, your smiles are not even as genuine as Fany unnie’s, I see you trying hard to crinkle your eyes everytime. Don't you get tired? And you will never even reach the fame of Hyori unnie’s even with that fake eye-smile of yours. Seeing you every day… it’s getting tiring. Watching your aegyo, I want to throw up. It’s really not that appealing, and I’m pretty sure Luna’s getting tired of it too. Jinri, you’re not five. Stop making those expressions and grow up.
And then Yuri comes and pretends to care with that fake smile and the fake spark in her eyes she gives whenever she’s around females she pretends to give a fuck about. (Basically, that includes everyone besides her members.) “Krystal! How have you been? You were great on that special stage! Wow, you’re almost as good as BoA sunbae!” How pathetic, you can hear her voice raise a few octaves higher with that unnecessary syrupy greeting and fake compliment. If only her singing skills could be as good… and her acting skills? Not even impressive. Krystal could see through her façade like a glass. (Hah, how ironic. Yuri…glass… probably she was destined to be seen through her fake exterior. This girl was never meant to be an actress, Krystal can tell you that much.) The sad thing was, Yuri hasn’t even been like this when SoNyuhShiDae first debuted. But probably because her popularity was never as high as Yoona’s (even though they were both equal in beauty) that the true, friendly Yuri has turned into a cold, icy bitch. It came as no surprise for Krystal… she could feel it happening to herself, to be quite honest.
“I’m fine, unnie,” she said curtly and with a quick, polite bow, she turned to follow Luna back to their dressing rooms.
Maybe Krystal was just bitter. Yuri was definitely the trophy-wife type. She was tall, with beautiful, flowing, raven-colored hair. Her skin was flawless… and her sex appeal was immense. But then again…
Unnie, all of Korea can see how hard you try. Your so called ‘bad-attitude’ and jealousy of Yoona unnie has been called out. We can all see that you’re the most attention-seeking whore in SoNyuhShiDae, possibly even SM… And you and your so-called ‘scandals’? I don’t even know what Minho-oppa sees in you.
Or yes… maybe she was just bitter that Choi Minho never even looked her way ever since she has entered SM Entertainment, because he was too blinded by the black pearl that is Kwon Yuri. The stupid way he ruffled her hair like she was five and the dumb way he smiled that dimpled smile at her.
“Soojung, that was a good performance. Next time, oppa will treat you to some jajangmyun, hm? Good job.” Those words, during their trainee days would make her heart flutter, but now that she found out that Minho and his lovely Yuri noona had been fucking since SHINee’s debut, Krystal could only roll her eyes and wondered what she had ever seen in him.
Even the public can see what a hyung whore you are. Oh, and a noona whore too. Everyone in SM knows that you’re fucking BoA unnie now, right when Yuri unnie broke it off with you because she was finished playing her games with you. To be quite honest, Minho, they’re right... The netizens, when they say that you are pretty useless in SHINee. Seriously, what are you here for? Jinki oppa and Jonghyun oppa are the actual singers, not you. Key could rap and Taemin is hot and cute and the maknae. What nitch do you fill? And you’re really not that handsome, Minho. Don’t flatter yourself. Fangirls will fall for anyone this day and age. Look at how many fans Hyukjae has, oh and Shindong too. See what I mean?
Krystal already knows that her heart has been slowly breaking. She was too young for this-she has been exposed to this industry for so long, she doesn’t even know how it feels to be happy anymore. She just has all this hatred for all these people-especially the ones that love her the most; the ones that treat her best. It was so masochistic of her. But she was also smart enough to know that if she doesn’t preserve her heart in a big, thick shard of ice, it would just continue breaking… So she’ll be the first to leave. Leave her beautiful sister, Jessica; her best friend, Jinri; her role model, Yuri… and the only person she has ever loved, Minho. She’s going to leave them first, before they leave her.
She’s young, but she’s smart, and she’s learned how to keep her heart from breaking already-at such a young age.
She's not a drama queen, she doesn't want to feel this way; only seventeen, but tired…
She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster
But she just needs someone to take her home.