so much i want to write about
and so very little brain available for sorting the words to begin writing about anything.
mostly because it's such a relief to be (nearly) done with uni. i'm terrified of the student loan debt, but it'll be manageable- i just need to remember to breathe, and it'll work out. these last two papers are coming along, finally, thanks to help from friends (what WOULD we do without friends, i ask you?), and i expect to have them done well enough and in the mail to the professor by friday.
but i'm also rendered wordless (as i babble on) by such an intense love for being alive. i want - well, not to live forever, that'd be a lot of work, and lonely, after a while- but i want to live for a good nother 20 years or so, and i want it so MUCH- desire's dangerous, it's a hook dangling us over disappointment and failure, regret and depression- but oh, oh! i do love being alive, and living, and having a life to live in, and i just- i have to say so this once, early in the (christian, western, revised-several-times) calendar year.
anyway. /sentimentality- i'm tired, tonight, and that always makes the barrier between pleasure and weepiness very thin for me (if that's even what it's between... ah, rambling).
short list of what i'm up to:
catching up with the people i've let drift away (or drifted away from) over the last two years. you know who you are, and i swear i'm here, coming back to you.
keeping healthy/getting healthier (today's not-sleeping-well aside).
finishing these papers, and thus, uni.
earning/saving/appreciating money.
getting 'life-chore' things taken care of- car serviced, medical appointments made, storage pared down, fun had.
writing.
seeing family- younger son was here for christmas; older son and grandson came a few days ago, and we went to see Yes Man (fun, that); and am gathering up scraps of old favorite fabrics to send to my mother for the quilt she's making for my brother's new baby-to-be.
reading for pleasure, watching ken burns, taking care of my tiny winter garden (jeez, the frost didn't help last night, did it? lol! i know, i know, it's not snow. thank god- we've no sanding, no snowplows, no snow tires).
taking this marvelous education i've gotten, and the life experience i've had during the getting of said education, and creating an even deeper and more textured understanding of life.
so. that is all. i didn't participate in any holiday fic-things, nor have i really written any fic/the little au for a while, but there's wonderful things out there in the holiday fic-world, and the men are still around, talking quietly amongst themselves.
fandom brought me to lj, lj brought me to a new understanding of how big and how small this world is, and that's brought me all of you.
blessings on your heads, y'all.
mostly because it's such a relief to be (nearly) done with uni. i'm terrified of the student loan debt, but it'll be manageable- i just need to remember to breathe, and it'll work out. these last two papers are coming along, finally, thanks to help from friends (what WOULD we do without friends, i ask you?), and i expect to have them done well enough and in the mail to the professor by friday.
but i'm also rendered wordless (as i babble on) by such an intense love for being alive. i want - well, not to live forever, that'd be a lot of work, and lonely, after a while- but i want to live for a good nother 20 years or so, and i want it so MUCH- desire's dangerous, it's a hook dangling us over disappointment and failure, regret and depression- but oh, oh! i do love being alive, and living, and having a life to live in, and i just- i have to say so this once, early in the (christian, western, revised-several-times) calendar year.
anyway. /sentimentality- i'm tired, tonight, and that always makes the barrier between pleasure and weepiness very thin for me (if that's even what it's between... ah, rambling).
short list of what i'm up to:
catching up with the people i've let drift away (or drifted away from) over the last two years. you know who you are, and i swear i'm here, coming back to you.
keeping healthy/getting healthier (today's not-sleeping-well aside).
finishing these papers, and thus, uni.
earning/saving/appreciating money.
getting 'life-chore' things taken care of- car serviced, medical appointments made, storage pared down, fun had.
writing.
seeing family- younger son was here for christmas; older son and grandson came a few days ago, and we went to see Yes Man (fun, that); and am gathering up scraps of old favorite fabrics to send to my mother for the quilt she's making for my brother's new baby-to-be.
reading for pleasure, watching ken burns, taking care of my tiny winter garden (jeez, the frost didn't help last night, did it? lol! i know, i know, it's not snow. thank god- we've no sanding, no snowplows, no snow tires).
taking this marvelous education i've gotten, and the life experience i've had during the getting of said education, and creating an even deeper and more textured understanding of life.
so. that is all. i didn't participate in any holiday fic-things, nor have i really written any fic/the little au for a while, but there's wonderful things out there in the holiday fic-world, and the men are still around, talking quietly amongst themselves.
fandom brought me to lj, lj brought me to a new understanding of how big and how small this world is, and that's brought me all of you.
blessings on your heads, y'all.