Oh hey, hi.
Um. I was going to post, but I can't think of how to start.
Oh, okay. While reading through my flist (I really must remember to stop watching my Icons and PotC fic communities; they're clogging up my flist, and I barely ever click on them), I saw my junior's post about her return from her three-week South Africa service learning trip. It's part of a programme run by this organization called Global Leadership Adventures, and it creates programmes to a lot of rustic places all around the world (think Galapagos Island and Cape Town, which is where my junior went), and it's basically this awesome opportunity to see the world in a different perspective. Anyway, my junior applied for it, and I wanted to go after she told me about it, but it was a day before the deadline, and there was a lot of things to clear like my parents and the school because it's during the first three weeks of school. The point is, so in the end I didn't go, even though at that time, I was desperate to, because I thought I could - get rid of the ennui that was threatening to swamp me during the holidays (remember the last two weeks of inescapable nihilism which resulted in undone homework?), and I was seriously pissed that my parents wouldn't let me - but. Now that the three weeks is up, I realized that I haven't thought about it much after that. My three weeks back at school haven't (oh definitely) been boring, I think; I've still learnt stuff (and I don't mean academically), I've still grown, I suppose, there has been much emotional turmoil (come on, I'm like, fifteen - emotional turmoil practically defines my life) and it turns out that my life hasn't been the worse off for it. Whether it's better off for it is definitely a different question; there's this vaguely uneasy feeling that if I had gone, things would have been much different, which is undeniable, but then I can never find out, so it just doesn't matter anymore, fades into meaninglessness.
I wonder if this is what happens to all missed opportunities? I mean, it was like that for the unsuccessful French immersion; after the interview, the whole matter just slipped from my mind eventually, and when the French girls came, there was no sudden sting of regret, no sharp sense of loss for it; the same thing goes for not having won any individual accolades at WSC finals. They all eventually fail to matter anymore - I don't know if it's a good thing, this easy acceptance. Or even if it will last; maybe it's because I've never had to make a big decision before. Will the same thing apply to which JC I select? To which university I go to? Does this mean nothing matters in the end, or that I just have to live with the decisions I make, or both?
(I suppose a logical inference is that I just don't care very much for these things. In that case - I don't know. Are you suppose to continue caring for something indefatigably, unchangingly? Maybe I just have too many different things to care about that it's all diluted; sometimes I actively work towards that, because, defense mechanism, yeah? If you reduce your dependency on something, its departure has less power to hurt you - but I suppose you also miss out on the complete joy of it. The clearest example is CCA; I don't know if the reason I'm so blasé about my juniors' negative posts about it when it affected my batchmates so much is that they just aren't that big a part of my life, their opinions don't matter that much as to get me upset about it, or if it's because I know they don't mean it, I know it isn't our fault entirely, I know the accusations are not entirely valid. It's difficult to be sure.)
Moving on to something less heavily introspective! The past week has been - eventful, I suppose? I went to play pool with a couple of Dora's church friends and it was pretty awesome because um, pool? Words cannot describe the novel excitement of pool-playing; I don't know! It's some kind of strange, illicit enjoyment, like, whoa, I'm playing pool now, I'm such a bad kid - or something. I totally sound ridiculous, I realize; also, I obviously like saying 'pool playing'. Pool playing playing pool. Okay, okay, it's not that - weird. It was fun, although I'm not very good at it (even though I totally pwned at the Miniclip version of it, okay) but it was only my first time, in my defense. Dora's friends were good at it, though (it feels weird just calling them 'Dora's friends', but um, it feels weirder mentioning them by name because it's not likely that anyone reading this will know them, right); it's kind of exhilarating to watch. The novelty of it, I'm sure, but - still. If there was a pool CCA wherever I'm going, I sure wouldn't mind joining.
Speaking of Dora's friends, one of them's in university, another one's from RGS-Hwa Chong Humanities Prog, and another's in ACS IB, so - in terms of options, I'm actually pretty much covered, haha. Okay, ignoring the fact that it's weird referring to them by name, Clara's the one from RGS, and she was really excited about getting another RGS girl to go to Hwach, because it really helped her, apparently; she got a scholarship to a UK university and she's leaving December, and she said Hwach's really good in terms of environment and academics and all - and I know the words don't sound very convincing, but the way she said it sounds like how I would describe RGS to someone else. I have a lot of quarrels with the school system and shit, but in the end, RGS drastically changed me as a person, allowed me to grow and flourish despite everything, and - I heard the same conviction in Clara's voice.
Clara's good at pool :D They all are, actually - and I think I've already said that so I will shut up about it now.
Stanley (The ACS guy) said IB's exactly like secondary school, with tutorials and all, and - I don't know, I wasn't really considering it in any case, but he didn't bring up any dramatic attractions of the programme, so there's nothing for me to say; Clara did respond archly that most people go because "there're like, five girls and masses of boys", which, you know, funny, but not illuminating. I can't figure out who Clara reminds me of, but she's strangely endearing; quite typically RGS - we actually had this whole conversation which revolved around her and how fat she was emphatically not. Sounds familiar? Apparently, she hasn't heard the "Oh yeah, if you were any skinnier, you'd disappear" line, because she found it hilarious. It was very cute, because she's all normal and intelligent usually, and all of a sudden, she asks gleefully if anyone in our year was anorexic, and Gabriel (the university guy!) tells me that Clara's all overjoyed about being mistaken for anorexic once because that meant she was thin, which was all very amusing because she's conscious about it in a self-deprecating way, and do I sound like I'm fangirling? Because I'm not, really. Anyway, Clara actually offered to come down to Hwach with me sometime next week or the next to talk to the coordinator - and I really have no reason to say no. I don't know.
Although this other St. Nick-RJC girl was telling me (in response to my gripe that I wanted to leave Raffles because of the system) that RJC is actually really different from RGS - so that surprised me a lot. She did say that the most common reason was a change of environment, being bored with the people who you've been with for four years, but I thought that was really sad, but she did say that's what most people have to go through, usually, which is a point. Apparently, only 300 out of the 1400 batch intake are O-level students, which must be scary for them. I'm really not sure now, which is why I think I should just try out for Hwach, if only to keep my options open. Maybe in the end, it won't make a difference - or it'll cease to matter (see above point, yes).
Of course, intimately related to that point is, again, the exhortation to study hard, the best way of keeping my options open. It's like this unceasing refrain that's being chanted in my head.
Gabriel's really - intelligent. Well, he's twenty, and in university, so that's pretty much a given, but he's also very intelligent and articulate about Christianity and religion (which is something I'm not used to) because he brought up Pascal's Wager and the whole difference between spirituality and religion, as well as the typical response to the Euthypro's dilemma after I just alluded to it, and his answers to my questions make sense, in a way that forces me to think about the whole issue again from a new perspective. Maybe the few years in NS and university really make all the difference, huh? He's gone on missionary work overseas too, and today he told us about the way they told people in China about God through coloured beads on a bracelet, and - his faith and his evangelism (usually a word with extremely negative connotations for me, I'm sorry) were touchingly beautiful in a simple way (and it's not about him, okay; I realize how I sound but); I've felt this way about Christianity a couple of times, once at Bernice's church camp last year, when the people were singing hymns at night, voices rising and falling in harmony with the stars overhead, I remember, and around my other Christian friends too.
But it's always about the people; that's what pulls you to it, I think. The beauty I can see in Christianity sometimes comes only from the faith of the people; I remember telling Bernice's pastor last year that in God's 'miracles' or God's work, I see the best of humanity - it's the people that's doing all these things, I think. I also told Clara on the MRT today that I don't need God, now; Christianity, right now, is fundamentally incompatible with my belief system, my philosophy, and because I don't need God, the impetus to smash through that established structure isn't there. Maybe this is the height of pride, of narcissism. I do also realize the concept of humanity, and the overwhelming importance I place on it is entirely contradictory to my nihilist, fundamentally existentialist views on life, but - I'm still figuring things out. The preliminary direction I have (and this is something that Gabriel also brought up, except for him it had the obvious religious dimension, naturally; it both reassures and scares me at the same thing that there are people like Gabriel in Christianity because even though his views of religion - he doesn't believe in organized religion, either - are closely aligned with mine, not all of Christianity believes or even cultivates the same ideas, and therein lies the crux of my problems with it, and organized religion in particular: that it encourages blind, unquestioning, ignorant faith, and the ones that break free of that are rare, because the purpose of religion is anesthesia) is that the essence of humanity (this is in spite of reading Russell's theory that there isn't an essence to objects, that dog doesn't refer to a perfect idea of dogs that manifest itself in different ways in different species of dogs, but rather, dog is a collective noun that refers to a class of physical objects all recognized arbitrarily as individual members of the class, dog - which I actually disagree with, but in any case has profound implications for the definition of humanity, and I'm going to stop now) is empathy - which sounds trite and stupid, but in elaboration, is that, I may be able to say that morality doesn't exist and all humans are egoistic and there's no such thing as altruism because everything is eventually done for one's own benefit and that there's no intrinsic value to human life but when it comes to actually doing what I say, it's - impossibly hard. For me, at least, I can't escape the emotional consequences, the personal entanglements of just pursuing my own ends without thought for others, even though I may rationally claim that that isn't wrong per se. I - probably don't make much sense here, but I'm still in the middle of figuring it out, okay.
But that ties in with Christianity - and religion. It's very interesting in an economic way to analyze how the Church organizes its operations to sustain itself. I mentioned it today that it's very smart of Christianity to be the only religion to claim to be the exclusive way to God, because it immediately establishes a raison d'etre, yes, as opposed to Buddhism, of which someone might ask, why do I need it if I already know my own purpose in life? But Christianity sells salvation, so it has to cripple its clientèle first - and it does, with the doctrine of original sin. I - and then there's the strong suprastructure of familial and platonic bonds intermeshing - the power of that can't be denied, really. I'm feeling the pressure after just three afternoons spent there; it's hard knowing that it's difficult to spend more time with these awesome people if I don't eventually convert - and I'm not likely to. I won't, actually, because of this. This wasn't meant to be offensive, yeah; objectively analyzing, it just makes sense when I look at it like that.
I know I said I wasn't going to be introspective. Damn.
THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING PLAYED POOL IS THAT NOW I CAN WRITE POOL! FIC CONVINCINGLY. That looked like pool-as-in-swimming-pool! fic. Which is also possible, but. Moving on!
I'm too thought-out now to go into what happened with Philo class. It - was cathartic and maybe also due to the fact that I slept ne'er an hour the night before, and the cumulative effect of not having a decent Philosophy teacher for three-and-a-freaking-half years, but it again, probably isn't what you thought it was, and I suppose - I mean, I don't care if you're going to judge me for it, because it's not like I can really stop you from doing it, right, but. It's - it was a revelatory event. Oh my god I don't want to sound dramatic, because it really isn't, it really doesn't matter anymore but you can tell who feels what about me and it by their responses, who accepts and are just there for me and who jumps to conclusions and who I'm okay crying in front of (SOMEHOW IT'S ALWAYS BERNICE TIAN THAT CATCHES ME OUT SORRY MY DEAR you know I love you :D) and who I'm decidedly not, and I'm not upset about it, you know, I'm really not; I HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA made peace with it. I am incredibly grateful for who I have, and what I can get from them, and even from the ones I don't.
It's just kind of interesting and also relieving, in a way, to see glimpses - it's rather like the morbid urge to find out what people would say after you die. Then again, sometimes it isn't that you having someone, but rather, letting them get you, I think? It still doesn't hurt to not ask for what you can't have, though.
:D
History trip with Law was incredibly awesome (reminded me of things before they changed, I say cryptically); Wei Qing completely got tricked by Law, which is just epic, and Kar Min got bested by a pink stamp, which, you know, again, hilarious, and I'm totally not mentioning the part where I walked right in front of people taking photographs twice, but anyway. It was lovely, even though we didn't learn much, and then I got chewed out by Fournier when I walked in an hour and a half late, because they were going through the practice paper and she apparently canceled break to do it but - I would say it was worth it, but now she says I can't miss French anymore, presumably not even for History CES, which lousily means I need to leave CES early, which. Isn't worth two hours of fun at Science Center. Is it? It shouldn't be. Maybe I shouldn't have gone for SSC if it meant that I've to miss History CES. I don't know. Law shouldn't be such a big part of History, I know, okay.
I haven't done any homework today ): Except for a bit I squeezed in during the church break (we had chocolate fondue!) but I spent like, three hours on pool and then half on this silly arcade game (and yeah, the arcade seriously; I'm probably this serious nerd who doesn't like, actually go out, but being in the arcade with the blaring music and the blinking lights and the dimly lit pool place made me feel - like I'm going to be freaking in trouble if my parents found out. Huh. I feel like such a lightweight.) Omg such a loserish sentiment.
Have at fic! It's adorable, Stargate: Atlantis fic, Rodney and John in kindergarten: Kindergarten. It's rated G. I'm going to do homework now. I finished the last episode of Supernatural S3 yesterday night and oh my god Dean! It's also suspicious that the only plausible female characters to be paired with Dean and Sam were conveniently killed off/disappeared by the end of S3, and the only new character introduced next season is a male, which to my conspiracy-theorist mind, just shows that the producers of Supernatural is gradually inching us towards the Dean/Sam taboo pairing :D Yes. It's also amazing how Ruby's actress can so dramatically play both Ruby and Lilith, both two dominant characters, especially when the only indication of their personalities is inside them, thanks to the demons possessing them.
Night, all! :D
Oh, okay. While reading through my flist (I really must remember to stop watching my Icons and PotC fic communities; they're clogging up my flist, and I barely ever click on them), I saw my junior's post about her return from her three-week South Africa service learning trip. It's part of a programme run by this organization called Global Leadership Adventures, and it creates programmes to a lot of rustic places all around the world (think Galapagos Island and Cape Town, which is where my junior went), and it's basically this awesome opportunity to see the world in a different perspective. Anyway, my junior applied for it, and I wanted to go after she told me about it, but it was a day before the deadline, and there was a lot of things to clear like my parents and the school because it's during the first three weeks of school. The point is, so in the end I didn't go, even though at that time, I was desperate to, because I thought I could - get rid of the ennui that was threatening to swamp me during the holidays (remember the last two weeks of inescapable nihilism which resulted in undone homework?), and I was seriously pissed that my parents wouldn't let me - but. Now that the three weeks is up, I realized that I haven't thought about it much after that. My three weeks back at school haven't (oh definitely) been boring, I think; I've still learnt stuff (and I don't mean academically), I've still grown, I suppose, there has been much emotional turmoil (come on, I'm like, fifteen - emotional turmoil practically defines my life) and it turns out that my life hasn't been the worse off for it. Whether it's better off for it is definitely a different question; there's this vaguely uneasy feeling that if I had gone, things would have been much different, which is undeniable, but then I can never find out, so it just doesn't matter anymore, fades into meaninglessness.
I wonder if this is what happens to all missed opportunities? I mean, it was like that for the unsuccessful French immersion; after the interview, the whole matter just slipped from my mind eventually, and when the French girls came, there was no sudden sting of regret, no sharp sense of loss for it; the same thing goes for not having won any individual accolades at WSC finals. They all eventually fail to matter anymore - I don't know if it's a good thing, this easy acceptance. Or even if it will last; maybe it's because I've never had to make a big decision before. Will the same thing apply to which JC I select? To which university I go to? Does this mean nothing matters in the end, or that I just have to live with the decisions I make, or both?
(I suppose a logical inference is that I just don't care very much for these things. In that case - I don't know. Are you suppose to continue caring for something indefatigably, unchangingly? Maybe I just have too many different things to care about that it's all diluted; sometimes I actively work towards that, because, defense mechanism, yeah? If you reduce your dependency on something, its departure has less power to hurt you - but I suppose you also miss out on the complete joy of it. The clearest example is CCA; I don't know if the reason I'm so blasé about my juniors' negative posts about it when it affected my batchmates so much is that they just aren't that big a part of my life, their opinions don't matter that much as to get me upset about it, or if it's because I know they don't mean it, I know it isn't our fault entirely, I know the accusations are not entirely valid. It's difficult to be sure.)
Moving on to something less heavily introspective! The past week has been - eventful, I suppose? I went to play pool with a couple of Dora's church friends and it was pretty awesome because um, pool? Words cannot describe the novel excitement of pool-playing; I don't know! It's some kind of strange, illicit enjoyment, like, whoa, I'm playing pool now, I'm such a bad kid - or something. I totally sound ridiculous, I realize; also, I obviously like saying 'pool playing'. Pool playing playing pool. Okay, okay, it's not that - weird. It was fun, although I'm not very good at it (even though I totally pwned at the Miniclip version of it, okay) but it was only my first time, in my defense. Dora's friends were good at it, though (it feels weird just calling them 'Dora's friends', but um, it feels weirder mentioning them by name because it's not likely that anyone reading this will know them, right); it's kind of exhilarating to watch. The novelty of it, I'm sure, but - still. If there was a pool CCA wherever I'm going, I sure wouldn't mind joining.
Speaking of Dora's friends, one of them's in university, another one's from RGS-Hwa Chong Humanities Prog, and another's in ACS IB, so - in terms of options, I'm actually pretty much covered, haha. Okay, ignoring the fact that it's weird referring to them by name, Clara's the one from RGS, and she was really excited about getting another RGS girl to go to Hwach, because it really helped her, apparently; she got a scholarship to a UK university and she's leaving December, and she said Hwach's really good in terms of environment and academics and all - and I know the words don't sound very convincing, but the way she said it sounds like how I would describe RGS to someone else. I have a lot of quarrels with the school system and shit, but in the end, RGS drastically changed me as a person, allowed me to grow and flourish despite everything, and - I heard the same conviction in Clara's voice.
Clara's good at pool :D They all are, actually - and I think I've already said that so I will shut up about it now.
Stanley (The ACS guy) said IB's exactly like secondary school, with tutorials and all, and - I don't know, I wasn't really considering it in any case, but he didn't bring up any dramatic attractions of the programme, so there's nothing for me to say; Clara did respond archly that most people go because "there're like, five girls and masses of boys", which, you know, funny, but not illuminating. I can't figure out who Clara reminds me of, but she's strangely endearing; quite typically RGS - we actually had this whole conversation which revolved around her and how fat she was emphatically not. Sounds familiar? Apparently, she hasn't heard the "Oh yeah, if you were any skinnier, you'd disappear" line, because she found it hilarious. It was very cute, because she's all normal and intelligent usually, and all of a sudden, she asks gleefully if anyone in our year was anorexic, and Gabriel (the university guy!) tells me that Clara's all overjoyed about being mistaken for anorexic once because that meant she was thin, which was all very amusing because she's conscious about it in a self-deprecating way, and do I sound like I'm fangirling? Because I'm not, really. Anyway, Clara actually offered to come down to Hwach with me sometime next week or the next to talk to the coordinator - and I really have no reason to say no. I don't know.
Although this other St. Nick-RJC girl was telling me (in response to my gripe that I wanted to leave Raffles because of the system) that RJC is actually really different from RGS - so that surprised me a lot. She did say that the most common reason was a change of environment, being bored with the people who you've been with for four years, but I thought that was really sad, but she did say that's what most people have to go through, usually, which is a point. Apparently, only 300 out of the 1400 batch intake are O-level students, which must be scary for them. I'm really not sure now, which is why I think I should just try out for Hwach, if only to keep my options open. Maybe in the end, it won't make a difference - or it'll cease to matter (see above point, yes).
Of course, intimately related to that point is, again, the exhortation to study hard, the best way of keeping my options open. It's like this unceasing refrain that's being chanted in my head.
Gabriel's really - intelligent. Well, he's twenty, and in university, so that's pretty much a given, but he's also very intelligent and articulate about Christianity and religion (which is something I'm not used to) because he brought up Pascal's Wager and the whole difference between spirituality and religion, as well as the typical response to the Euthypro's dilemma after I just alluded to it, and his answers to my questions make sense, in a way that forces me to think about the whole issue again from a new perspective. Maybe the few years in NS and university really make all the difference, huh? He's gone on missionary work overseas too, and today he told us about the way they told people in China about God through coloured beads on a bracelet, and - his faith and his evangelism (usually a word with extremely negative connotations for me, I'm sorry) were touchingly beautiful in a simple way (and it's not about him, okay; I realize how I sound but); I've felt this way about Christianity a couple of times, once at Bernice's church camp last year, when the people were singing hymns at night, voices rising and falling in harmony with the stars overhead, I remember, and around my other Christian friends too.
But it's always about the people; that's what pulls you to it, I think. The beauty I can see in Christianity sometimes comes only from the faith of the people; I remember telling Bernice's pastor last year that in God's 'miracles' or God's work, I see the best of humanity - it's the people that's doing all these things, I think. I also told Clara on the MRT today that I don't need God, now; Christianity, right now, is fundamentally incompatible with my belief system, my philosophy, and because I don't need God, the impetus to smash through that established structure isn't there. Maybe this is the height of pride, of narcissism. I do also realize the concept of humanity, and the overwhelming importance I place on it is entirely contradictory to my nihilist, fundamentally existentialist views on life, but - I'm still figuring things out. The preliminary direction I have (and this is something that Gabriel also brought up, except for him it had the obvious religious dimension, naturally; it both reassures and scares me at the same thing that there are people like Gabriel in Christianity because even though his views of religion - he doesn't believe in organized religion, either - are closely aligned with mine, not all of Christianity believes or even cultivates the same ideas, and therein lies the crux of my problems with it, and organized religion in particular: that it encourages blind, unquestioning, ignorant faith, and the ones that break free of that are rare, because the purpose of religion is anesthesia) is that the essence of humanity (this is in spite of reading Russell's theory that there isn't an essence to objects, that dog doesn't refer to a perfect idea of dogs that manifest itself in different ways in different species of dogs, but rather, dog is a collective noun that refers to a class of physical objects all recognized arbitrarily as individual members of the class, dog - which I actually disagree with, but in any case has profound implications for the definition of humanity, and I'm going to stop now) is empathy - which sounds trite and stupid, but in elaboration, is that, I may be able to say that morality doesn't exist and all humans are egoistic and there's no such thing as altruism because everything is eventually done for one's own benefit and that there's no intrinsic value to human life but when it comes to actually doing what I say, it's - impossibly hard. For me, at least, I can't escape the emotional consequences, the personal entanglements of just pursuing my own ends without thought for others, even though I may rationally claim that that isn't wrong per se. I - probably don't make much sense here, but I'm still in the middle of figuring it out, okay.
But that ties in with Christianity - and religion. It's very interesting in an economic way to analyze how the Church organizes its operations to sustain itself. I mentioned it today that it's very smart of Christianity to be the only religion to claim to be the exclusive way to God, because it immediately establishes a raison d'etre, yes, as opposed to Buddhism, of which someone might ask, why do I need it if I already know my own purpose in life? But Christianity sells salvation, so it has to cripple its clientèle first - and it does, with the doctrine of original sin. I - and then there's the strong suprastructure of familial and platonic bonds intermeshing - the power of that can't be denied, really. I'm feeling the pressure after just three afternoons spent there; it's hard knowing that it's difficult to spend more time with these awesome people if I don't eventually convert - and I'm not likely to. I won't, actually, because of this. This wasn't meant to be offensive, yeah; objectively analyzing, it just makes sense when I look at it like that.
I know I said I wasn't going to be introspective. Damn.
THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING PLAYED POOL IS THAT NOW I CAN WRITE POOL! FIC CONVINCINGLY. That looked like pool-as-in-swimming-pool! fic. Which is also possible, but. Moving on!
I'm too thought-out now to go into what happened with Philo class. It - was cathartic and maybe also due to the fact that I slept ne'er an hour the night before, and the cumulative effect of not having a decent Philosophy teacher for three-and-a-freaking-half years, but it again, probably isn't what you thought it was, and I suppose - I mean, I don't care if you're going to judge me for it, because it's not like I can really stop you from doing it, right, but. It's - it was a revelatory event. Oh my god I don't want to sound dramatic, because it really isn't, it really doesn't matter anymore but you can tell who feels what about me and it by their responses, who accepts and are just there for me and who jumps to conclusions and who I'm okay crying in front of (SOMEHOW IT'S ALWAYS BERNICE TIAN THAT CATCHES ME OUT SORRY MY DEAR you know I love you :D) and who I'm decidedly not, and I'm not upset about it, you know, I'm really not; I HAVE ACHIEVED NIRVANA made peace with it. I am incredibly grateful for who I have, and what I can get from them, and even from the ones I don't.
It's just kind of interesting and also relieving, in a way, to see glimpses - it's rather like the morbid urge to find out what people would say after you die. Then again, sometimes it isn't that you having someone, but rather, letting them get you, I think? It still doesn't hurt to not ask for what you can't have, though.
:D
History trip with Law was incredibly awesome (reminded me of things before they changed, I say cryptically); Wei Qing completely got tricked by Law, which is just epic, and Kar Min got bested by a pink stamp, which, you know, again, hilarious, and I'm totally not mentioning the part where I walked right in front of people taking photographs twice, but anyway. It was lovely, even though we didn't learn much, and then I got chewed out by Fournier when I walked in an hour and a half late, because they were going through the practice paper and she apparently canceled break to do it but - I would say it was worth it, but now she says I can't miss French anymore, presumably not even for History CES, which lousily means I need to leave CES early, which. Isn't worth two hours of fun at Science Center. Is it? It shouldn't be. Maybe I shouldn't have gone for SSC if it meant that I've to miss History CES. I don't know. Law shouldn't be such a big part of History, I know, okay.
I haven't done any homework today ): Except for a bit I squeezed in during the church break (we had chocolate fondue!) but I spent like, three hours on pool and then half on this silly arcade game (and yeah, the arcade seriously; I'm probably this serious nerd who doesn't like, actually go out, but being in the arcade with the blaring music and the blinking lights and the dimly lit pool place made me feel - like I'm going to be freaking in trouble if my parents found out. Huh. I feel like such a lightweight.) Omg such a loserish sentiment.
Have at fic! It's adorable, Stargate: Atlantis fic, Rodney and John in kindergarten: Kindergarten. It's rated G. I'm going to do homework now. I finished the last episode of Supernatural S3 yesterday night and oh my god Dean! It's also suspicious that the only plausible female characters to be paired with Dean and Sam were conveniently killed off/disappeared by the end of S3, and the only new character introduced next season is a male, which to my conspiracy-theorist mind, just shows that the producers of Supernatural is gradually inching us towards the Dean/Sam taboo pairing :D Yes. It's also amazing how Ruby's actress can so dramatically play both Ruby and Lilith, both two dominant characters, especially when the only indication of their personalities is inside them, thanks to the demons possessing them.
Night, all! :D