HI HI HI : D
I just love even weeks. Well, as much as you can love school weeks, anyway.
Googled Ryan Ross just now, and up came a whole slew of articles and interviews and just stuff on him. He gave a lot of interviews to MTV.com (I think) recently, clearing up the band break-up issue (I found the mention of Pete sad - how Pete is apparently firmly ensconced in Brendon's and Spencer's side, because - I mean, Ryan was the one who liked Pete first, and the most, and contacted him and all), the cocaine issue, as well as talking about his new music! Most noteworthy of all, Jon's and his new single, tentatively titled Change is coming out soon, and he says his new album is due to come out this year! That will go far into assuaging my residual devastation over the Break-Up. I'll be really annoyed, though, because Brendon/Spencer's album (I just can't call them Panic yet /: ) will most likely be coming out around then too, and there will invariably be comparisons, and people will throw the term "former bandmates" around, and start making snide comments about the side that sells less records D: Typical, really, but.
Ryan Ross' just my favourite in Panic :D (Also, the break-up totally screws up the fandom, because how do people classify fanfiction now? Under Panic? If it's Ryan/Brendon, does that go under crossovers? Do all writers have to reorganize their fics now? What I am supposed to search for? Panic slash? Panic fics? Ex-Panic fics? Panic crossovers? I am sad.) I also find it really annoying that people judge Ryan about all the coke photos and blame him for the break-up. Obviously I have a bit of a soft spot for him (:D), but I don't think I need to say whether I believe Ryan when he says he didn't do coke; it's really not my place to say whether I do. It's his own life; whatever he chooses to tell the public on his Twitter and whatever is his choice, and I don't think we should judge him for it (this is where I admit to a slight bias, because if it was any other celebrity, maybe I'll be inclined to argue that they do have a responsibility to be a role model, but not entirely, either). It's really unfair that people blame him for the break-up too, because without Ryan, there wouldn't even be Panic in the first place, so there :P
ALSO, Ryan Ross is the most adorable thing ever, I swear: Gabe Saporta Interviews Ryan Ross The awesome thing about Gabe is that I can't tell if he's for real, seriously. Go watch the video - Ryan's all poised and slightly starstruck (I swear!) and Gabe's all excited and slick (I mean, he turns and says "Delicious" as Ryan leaves) and Ryan has this awed, contented, young look on his face when he hugs Gabe (and literally presses his face into Gabe's shoulder/chest region). It's just adorable; Ryan feels like a young kid there, all sunshine and bright smile.
I feel kind of strange, because somehow Ryan (and Panic) feel so young to me, but after starting on my Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross crack!fic, I realize that Ryan (Ross)'s actually pretty old compared to Ryan Evans, since the latter's just graduated while Ross is like, around 26. Or 24. Still, age gap? To Evans, Ross must be the worldly, enigmatic older man (HAHAHAHA) . And then in my previous paragraph, I exclaim effusively about how Ryan's so young and cute. Ah, strange.
I'm listening to Panic again. It doesn't hurt so bad now, although that sudden pang of inexplicable loss is still there; it's going to take more time (and two albums!).
Today was pretty interesting. Our class is seriously epic! All photos on Facebook, I bet.
Lunch was unexpectedly awesome. Or, far more awesome than I expected, even though I was already expecting it to be fun. I remember telling various people at various points in time about how I sometimes vaguely regret not getting to know more of my class, because there are still many wonderful people I haven't gotten to know because of previous engagements (that sounded weird) and limited mobility (that sounds even weirder), basically, and it's the end of two years now, so it's, in a sense, kind of regrettable, but also natural. It's never too late, though, I think?
Then I went swimming! Just ten laps, because I needed to do work - although I'm not exactly proving my point by LJing, am I?
(Can you tell, I'm practicing being short and concise.)
During lunch today, all of us said many incriminating things, I swear. Somehow, we always end up talking about publicly taboo topics like sex and polygamy and SERIOUSLY WANHUI STOP SAYING I WRITE PORN OMG. I don't! I don't! There (:
I have this nasty feeling that I've become more selfish over the course of this year, completely unnoticingly.. I'm not saying this in a self-flagellant way, but as a sneaking suspicion, because. I remember when my mantra used to be If equal passion cannot be, let the more loving one be me and how there used to be the general, constant awareness for all my friends and their emotional states, like this blinking sign at the forefront of my mind, and it was a pervasive choice to make a conscious effort with the people around me daily - but sometime over the past few months, I seem to have lost that impetus, that spark. It took me a while to realize it, but lately, I think it's really all been about me. What I'm going to get out of this, what I need to do, what I want today - and the gradual shift into this egoist mindset feels so natural that it scares me, because the comfort and ease of existence in this mental state means I can live like this and not be bothered about it, if I hadn't first caught myself. I really don't know how it happened. My urgency finally burnt itself out? It's kind of like, after realizing that this term, my results matter most, keeping my options open matters most, my GPA matters most, all my energies are focused on that even subconsiously, and I don't have (or make the) time or effort to care about other things or people except on a mere superficial level. I don't know. There's no external infatuation (using that word metaphorically) to distract me anymore.
Ooh, last thing! Today's LJ Spotlight have awesome sites. There's a Singapore-based LJ community on oldschool film photos that's really gorgeous, this Scottish artist's LJ with the most hilarious and quirky art/posts (there was a picture where he took a photo of birds on telephone wires and 'transposed' them into sheet music to play!) as well as this person who's writing an online book, and readers pay as much as they think it deserves (skimmed through it slightly; reminded me of Pretty. Odd; has solid writing).
Googled Ryan Ross just now, and up came a whole slew of articles and interviews and just stuff on him. He gave a lot of interviews to MTV.com (I think) recently, clearing up the band break-up issue (I found the mention of Pete sad - how Pete is apparently firmly ensconced in Brendon's and Spencer's side, because - I mean, Ryan was the one who liked Pete first, and the most, and contacted him and all), the cocaine issue, as well as talking about his new music! Most noteworthy of all, Jon's and his new single, tentatively titled Change is coming out soon, and he says his new album is due to come out this year! That will go far into assuaging my residual devastation over the Break-Up. I'll be really annoyed, though, because Brendon/Spencer's album (I just can't call them Panic yet /: ) will most likely be coming out around then too, and there will invariably be comparisons, and people will throw the term "former bandmates" around, and start making snide comments about the side that sells less records D: Typical, really, but.
Ryan Ross' just my favourite in Panic :D (Also, the break-up totally screws up the fandom, because how do people classify fanfiction now? Under Panic? If it's Ryan/Brendon, does that go under crossovers? Do all writers have to reorganize their fics now? What I am supposed to search for? Panic slash? Panic fics? Ex-Panic fics? Panic crossovers? I am sad.) I also find it really annoying that people judge Ryan about all the coke photos and blame him for the break-up. Obviously I have a bit of a soft spot for him (:D), but I don't think I need to say whether I believe Ryan when he says he didn't do coke; it's really not my place to say whether I do. It's his own life; whatever he chooses to tell the public on his Twitter and whatever is his choice, and I don't think we should judge him for it (this is where I admit to a slight bias, because if it was any other celebrity, maybe I'll be inclined to argue that they do have a responsibility to be a role model, but not entirely, either). It's really unfair that people blame him for the break-up too, because without Ryan, there wouldn't even be Panic in the first place, so there :P
ALSO, Ryan Ross is the most adorable thing ever, I swear: Gabe Saporta Interviews Ryan Ross The awesome thing about Gabe is that I can't tell if he's for real, seriously. Go watch the video - Ryan's all poised and slightly starstruck (I swear!) and Gabe's all excited and slick (I mean, he turns and says "Delicious" as Ryan leaves) and Ryan has this awed, contented, young look on his face when he hugs Gabe (and literally presses his face into Gabe's shoulder/chest region). It's just adorable; Ryan feels like a young kid there, all sunshine and bright smile.
I feel kind of strange, because somehow Ryan (and Panic) feel so young to me, but after starting on my Ryan Evans/Ryan Ross crack!fic, I realize that Ryan (Ross)'s actually pretty old compared to Ryan Evans, since the latter's just graduated while Ross is like, around 26. Or 24. Still, age gap? To Evans, Ross must be the worldly, enigmatic older man (HAHAHAHA) . And then in my previous paragraph, I exclaim effusively about how Ryan's so young and cute. Ah, strange.
I'm listening to Panic again. It doesn't hurt so bad now, although that sudden pang of inexplicable loss is still there; it's going to take more time (and two albums!).
Today was pretty interesting. Our class is seriously epic! All photos on Facebook, I bet.
Lunch was unexpectedly awesome. Or, far more awesome than I expected, even though I was already expecting it to be fun. I remember telling various people at various points in time about how I sometimes vaguely regret not getting to know more of my class, because there are still many wonderful people I haven't gotten to know because of previous engagements (that sounded weird) and limited mobility (that sounds even weirder), basically, and it's the end of two years now, so it's, in a sense, kind of regrettable, but also natural. It's never too late, though, I think?
Then I went swimming! Just ten laps, because I needed to do work - although I'm not exactly proving my point by LJing, am I?
(Can you tell, I'm practicing being short and concise.)
During lunch today, all of us said many incriminating things, I swear. Somehow, we always end up talking about publicly taboo topics like sex and polygamy and SERIOUSLY WANHUI STOP SAYING I WRITE PORN OMG. I don't! I don't! There (:
I have this nasty feeling that I've become more selfish over the course of this year, completely unnoticingly.. I'm not saying this in a self-flagellant way, but as a sneaking suspicion, because. I remember when my mantra used to be If equal passion cannot be, let the more loving one be me and how there used to be the general, constant awareness for all my friends and their emotional states, like this blinking sign at the forefront of my mind, and it was a pervasive choice to make a conscious effort with the people around me daily - but sometime over the past few months, I seem to have lost that impetus, that spark. It took me a while to realize it, but lately, I think it's really all been about me. What I'm going to get out of this, what I need to do, what I want today - and the gradual shift into this egoist mindset feels so natural that it scares me, because the comfort and ease of existence in this mental state means I can live like this and not be bothered about it, if I hadn't first caught myself. I really don't know how it happened. My urgency finally burnt itself out? It's kind of like, after realizing that this term, my results matter most, keeping my options open matters most, my GPA matters most, all my energies are focused on that even subconsiously, and I don't have (or make the) time or effort to care about other things or people except on a mere superficial level. I don't know. There's no external infatuation (using that word metaphorically) to distract me anymore.
Ooh, last thing! Today's LJ Spotlight have awesome sites. There's a Singapore-based LJ community on oldschool film photos that's really gorgeous, this Scottish artist's LJ with the most hilarious and quirky art/posts (there was a picture where he took a photo of birds on telephone wires and 'transposed' them into sheet music to play!) as well as this person who's writing an online book, and readers pay as much as they think it deserves (skimmed through it slightly; reminded me of Pretty. Odd; has solid writing).