wow... what a week.
So much has happened- and yet I feel no need to blog any of it. I wonder what it is about typing/writing/documenting things that is so comforting to people. hmmf...
here is what I know as of right this very second:
I have a boyfriend. He is a bit stressed and such for his own personal reasons and it seems there is not a damn thing i can do to help him. Between alone time, work and everything else, I haven't seen him much (and it may seem as though I'm complaining but I swear i'm not... i could only wish to be even remotely busy). But it does make it kinda hard to be there for someone... Although he either isn't used to/doesnt want/ doesnt need someone there for him. All I can do is give him time and whatever space he needs, and hope that that is what he'd like for me to be doing.
On a slightly different note, he is such a great guy. I really don't deserve him.
hmm.. what else...
talk to might today (ex fiance, not the friend). well, I typed to him anyhow.. for about an hour. He's leaving in 10 days for Afghanistan. I scared for him- although I didn't say that. I just said i was proud of him and I hope it doesn't change him cuz he's awesome. I don't know why but sometimes I just can't bring myself to say what I'm thinking... especially when it's something I feel i reeeeally need to say. I wanted to be like "I can't believe you're really going... it makes me want to cry to think i might never see you again. I'm sorry for all the shit I may have put you through in our relationship, I hope you understand my intentions were good. I loved you very much and you changed my life. Although i can't say it was all positive. Because of you I feel like I look disguisting naked- and fairly unattractive all around, I'm always scared people will turn their backs on me (not that you ever ACTUALLY did that but when you left that first time i felt very betrayed and you knew it damn it), and I never feel like I'm good enough. I'm afraid this will inevitably destroy any potential relationships with men or woman I may have. i am trying to put back the pieces you broke, and hold on tightly to the ones you made whole. You were the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. i guess what I am trying to say is... well... fuck you for hurting me worse than i thought I could ever be hurt and i will miss you terribly."
I had to type that out cuz hopefully some time in the next 10 days or so, i can come here and copy it...
Anyone who knew me while I was dating Matt knew I couldn't be happier or more miserable. It was a constant game of bring me up and kick me down. I would drive out to N PHX at 3am to talk to him for an hour while he played his game, then get home just in time to get ready for work. On the rare occasion I got him to come to my apartment, he was always afraid his best friend would be mad at him for leaving for a day, therefor kinda take it out on me.. although he very much enjoyed the clean environment and me cooking for him all the time. He also loved to utilize the privacy by having sex any free chance he got. which i didn't mind at first cuz, well, i really enjoy sex... but it got to be too much. i didn't wanna think thats all our relationship is based on. then came the day he basically said that I was fat and he wasnt so much attracted to me physically... oh but when he saw me the next day i was ok to fuck.. to this day i cant help but wonder if thats why he liked doggy style so much... after that anytime i was even so much as showing cleavage i'd feel revolting. It had to be lights off or under the covers or with as much clothing still on as possible. It's something i havent been able to shake... I'm working on it... and Jarrod makes me feel beautiful. It wasn't all bad. We had excellent communication (hense, him being able to say he though I was fat without me decking him). he was polite about things... never told me to do anything just asked and didnt get upset if i said "no" and I know he honest to god loved me.. and I loved him too. Things just werent the same after he left... and all things happen for a reason. Obviously i was meant to try and make someone else happy. That's perfectly ok with me...
I don't want anybody reading this thinking "shes a bitch to go off on him" or "she shouldnt fucking be writing personal shit like that" because I told him i'd write about him. And I said "I'm sorry if I say something you don't like or anything... for future reference i will make anything a private entry if you feel ive gone too far" and gave him my username. he can read it at any time... besides that, a lot of this is old shit...its ancient history. I can't say he's moved on from me because he hasnt dated/had sex with anyone since we brokeup in december. which I guess doesnt say much... I wanted to go out and find the first guy that would have me because I wanted to feel needed. But when i realized I was being used more than I was being wanted by the first guy I found, I said "NO MORE!" I realized then i didn't need a guy to feel complete... hell i went like, a year and a half before matt without a bf.... I mean sure it was very lonely by myself in my big ol bed, but hey, I have a dozen pillows + stuffed animals= I'd manage. I figured I keep myself out there "on the market" i guess you'd say, but i was not willing to go for the first guy who seemed interested.
I got picky i guess lol.
look where it got me. I have a boyfriend that I find sexy beyond all reason, who treats me... I'm not sure there is a word. Just seeing him smile at me.. being in his presence... makes me feel so wonderful. Granted this is a fairly new relationship and I probably shouldn't put all my eggs in that basket just yet... but I'm happy and comfortable with how it's going. Just because I can't see him every day doesnt change how i feel about him or percieve him. In short: HE FUCKIN ROCKS! lol
So.. I'm looking into a cubicle type of job with Levi. I like MCi for the simple fact of, even though i was selling something- i was still socializing... which is the best kind of job for me. I'd love to try my hand in being a server.. alas, no one will hire someone to serve people food who hasnt done much food serving before. grr. I served food at bigsurf but that didnt count.. it was mostly catering stuff... but my years of customer service skills count for nothing it seems. so "blue stuff" here i come! (blue stuff= the product)
I really need to get a car! (random bitching)
to Jarrod:
Crash and Burn Lyrics
Savage Garden
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
to David:
Cold
Crossfade
(exerpt)
I never really wanted you to see,
the screwed up side of me that i keep,
locked inside of me so deep,
it always seems to get to me,
i never really wanted you to go,
so many things you should have known,
i guess for me there's just no hope.
I never meant to be so cold.
What i really meant to say,
is i'm sorry for the way, i am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
those are my dedications for the day...
ok be prepared.. this is one of those chessy servey things...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Full Name: Cassandra Rene'e Beaty
Birthday: August 13, 1985
Birthplace: Mesa, AZ (sadly)
Current Location: Mesa, Arizona (again.. sadly)
Eye Color: Hazel... usually the color of honey... sometimes very dark
Hair Color: at the moment deep red.. who knows what next...
Height: 5'2 - short mofo
Right Handed or Left Handed: leftie
Your Heritage: uhh MUTT... scottish, french, native american are the dominants I think- also irish, german.. lord knows what else...
The Shoes You Wore Today: black sandals...
Your Weakness: love.. chocolate, accents ('specially Jarrods :-)
Your Fears: dying. eep. sorta motorbikes..I'm getting over that slowly but surely
Your Perfect Pizza: omg. usually just pepperoni and extra cheese.. occasionally mushrooms and chicken as well- with garlic sauce mmm
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: pick one. sheesh. To maintain a stable, healthy relationship, to get "a real job" to get a car, to find someone worth while to take a gander at my portfolio, to start school
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: either "heh" or "lol" probably "lol" i laugh a lot
Thoughts First Waking Up: "is it absolutely crutial i get out of this bed RIGHT NOW?"
Your Best Physical Feature: depends on who you ask. this is gonna sound lame.. i say- my nails.
Your Bedtime: depends on when everone else gets offline lol
Your Most Missed Memory: hmm "most missed memory" for some reason it sounds redundent. hmmf. I guess I'd have to say the point in my life i was most fond of was living in chandler in that nice apt with a good job.. but just memory, riding quads on my grandparents land in washington... no. the beach. i miss the beach!
Pepsi or Coke: coke (preferably cherry) (although i'd still prefer dr pepper)
MacDonalds or Burger King: Probably Mickydees.. although i have to say fastfood wise I'd go for filibertos lol
Single or Group Dates: Single usually... it's easier to get to know someone
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: *scratches head* I can't remember- i think Lipton- I prefer hot orange poeke black tea with honey and milk (i know it sounds gross)
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate- vanilla is boring (live a little!)
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappucino, unless its in the morning... then coffee
Do you Smoke: Try not to... i don't around jarrod if thats an concilation
Do you Swear: Yes but not too often.
Do you Sing: when drunk/ no one else is around/ shower/ in the car
Do you Shower Daily: for the most part yes...
Have you Been in Love: Yes. and i learned a lot.. about relationships, guys, and myself
Do you want to go to College: i never used to... but now.. SEE: "Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year" hopefully to be an RN
Do you want to get Married: I thought I did.. yeah, I'm pretty sure I still do
Do you belive in yourself: probably not as often as i should
Do you get Motion Sickness: hmm, on some boats and reading in the car
Do you think you are Attractive: *sigh* sure why not *roles eyes*
Are you a Health Freak: HAHAH... pffsh whats health?
Do you get along with your Parents: When i do talk to my dad i usually do.. my ex step dad tries but I'm still very bitter about the past, my step mom kicks ass (shes like, 23) and my mom.. well.. shes more like a sibling...
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love the smell and sound of them... but sometimes they scare me when I'm alone- one of my two favorite smells that and oatmeal cookies!
Do you play an Instrument: hmm.. violin, trumpet, piano... i try so hard with the guitar and get no where.. oh and the recorder lol
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: A few beers... not much at all
In the past month have you Smoked: *hangs head in shame* same day i'll be able to say "NO!" to this question...
In the past month have you been on Drugs: fuck no..im not stupid..
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes.. bowling with Jarrod :-D
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: almost always I could say "no" to this, but Jarrod and I went a few days ago...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes- at the coffee shop- made by Jordan- ummm cream cheese salmon roll I think it was
In the past month have you been on Stage: No... i miss it though
In the past month have you been Dumped: no.. only been dumped once in my life- thanks matt :-P
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope..havent done that in awhile- not tryin to scare everyone off!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: well, ryan and levi attempted to get me to steal bowling shoes- BOWLING SHOES! i didn't though *pats self on back*
Ever been Drunk: unless you are mormon you have- DONT EFFING LIE!
Ever been called a Tease: lol... more times than I've said "fuck"
Ever been Beaten up: umm.. just by Eli i think..
Ever Shoplifted: no although I got punished for my friends doing it! I was just an excessory!!! those bitches!
How do you want to Die: content with my life, leaving a legacy, and not afriad
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A photographer, actress or RN
What country would you most like to Visit: I've never left the country... I wanna take a trip like in "Eurotrip" go to germany, amsterdam... but i guess i should stay away from brotislava (lol to anyone who has seen that movie)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: preferably green- but also blue
Favourite Hair Color: blonde, light brown or something from a box
Short or Long Hair: usually in between... but i like it long enough to run my fingers through
Height: 5'2 and up... MUST NOT be shorter than me
Weight: totally not picky... although i guess preferably... skinny- slender
Best Clothing Style: umm does "dork" classify?
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1- POT. never again.
Number of CDs I own: I dunno.. maybe 30 actually cds and maybe 30 of whatever i managed to pirate *grin*
Number of Piercings: technically.. 8. but the only one other than my ears is my tongue
Number of Tattoos: one- soon to be two the one i have: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/skychic022/detail?.dir=a4a1&.dnm=ca70.jpg&.src=ph
the one I'm getting: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/skychic022/detail?.dir=87f4&.dnm=302c.jpg&.src=ph
although I'm getting it in the same colors as the first, and on my upper back
Number of things in my Past I Regret: ya know... I'm tempted to say 80 % of my life.. but honestly, I don't regret anything.. I'm a stronger person because of all my trials and tribulations and problems and all that.
alright so other than that... i'm going with scott tomorrow to his grandparents most likely cuz he needs my help im asssuming... maybe just my company.. who knows. so yeah... hes calling at like, 8 and here it is quarter to 5.. lol i guess i'd better go get some kind of sleep.. TTFN! ~Cass
here is what I know as of right this very second:
I have a boyfriend. He is a bit stressed and such for his own personal reasons and it seems there is not a damn thing i can do to help him. Between alone time, work and everything else, I haven't seen him much (and it may seem as though I'm complaining but I swear i'm not... i could only wish to be even remotely busy). But it does make it kinda hard to be there for someone... Although he either isn't used to/doesnt want/ doesnt need someone there for him. All I can do is give him time and whatever space he needs, and hope that that is what he'd like for me to be doing.
On a slightly different note, he is such a great guy. I really don't deserve him.
hmm.. what else...
talk to might today (ex fiance, not the friend). well, I typed to him anyhow.. for about an hour. He's leaving in 10 days for Afghanistan. I scared for him- although I didn't say that. I just said i was proud of him and I hope it doesn't change him cuz he's awesome. I don't know why but sometimes I just can't bring myself to say what I'm thinking... especially when it's something I feel i reeeeally need to say. I wanted to be like "I can't believe you're really going... it makes me want to cry to think i might never see you again. I'm sorry for all the shit I may have put you through in our relationship, I hope you understand my intentions were good. I loved you very much and you changed my life. Although i can't say it was all positive. Because of you I feel like I look disguisting naked- and fairly unattractive all around, I'm always scared people will turn their backs on me (not that you ever ACTUALLY did that but when you left that first time i felt very betrayed and you knew it damn it), and I never feel like I'm good enough. I'm afraid this will inevitably destroy any potential relationships with men or woman I may have. i am trying to put back the pieces you broke, and hold on tightly to the ones you made whole. You were the best and worst thing that ever happened to me. i guess what I am trying to say is... well... fuck you for hurting me worse than i thought I could ever be hurt and i will miss you terribly."
I had to type that out cuz hopefully some time in the next 10 days or so, i can come here and copy it...
Anyone who knew me while I was dating Matt knew I couldn't be happier or more miserable. It was a constant game of bring me up and kick me down. I would drive out to N PHX at 3am to talk to him for an hour while he played his game, then get home just in time to get ready for work. On the rare occasion I got him to come to my apartment, he was always afraid his best friend would be mad at him for leaving for a day, therefor kinda take it out on me.. although he very much enjoyed the clean environment and me cooking for him all the time. He also loved to utilize the privacy by having sex any free chance he got. which i didn't mind at first cuz, well, i really enjoy sex... but it got to be too much. i didn't wanna think thats all our relationship is based on. then came the day he basically said that I was fat and he wasnt so much attracted to me physically... oh but when he saw me the next day i was ok to fuck.. to this day i cant help but wonder if thats why he liked doggy style so much... after that anytime i was even so much as showing cleavage i'd feel revolting. It had to be lights off or under the covers or with as much clothing still on as possible. It's something i havent been able to shake... I'm working on it... and Jarrod makes me feel beautiful. It wasn't all bad. We had excellent communication (hense, him being able to say he though I was fat without me decking him). he was polite about things... never told me to do anything just asked and didnt get upset if i said "no" and I know he honest to god loved me.. and I loved him too. Things just werent the same after he left... and all things happen for a reason. Obviously i was meant to try and make someone else happy. That's perfectly ok with me...
I don't want anybody reading this thinking "shes a bitch to go off on him" or "she shouldnt fucking be writing personal shit like that" because I told him i'd write about him. And I said "I'm sorry if I say something you don't like or anything... for future reference i will make anything a private entry if you feel ive gone too far" and gave him my username. he can read it at any time... besides that, a lot of this is old shit...its ancient history. I can't say he's moved on from me because he hasnt dated/had sex with anyone since we brokeup in december. which I guess doesnt say much... I wanted to go out and find the first guy that would have me because I wanted to feel needed. But when i realized I was being used more than I was being wanted by the first guy I found, I said "NO MORE!" I realized then i didn't need a guy to feel complete... hell i went like, a year and a half before matt without a bf.... I mean sure it was very lonely by myself in my big ol bed, but hey, I have a dozen pillows + stuffed animals= I'd manage. I figured I keep myself out there "on the market" i guess you'd say, but i was not willing to go for the first guy who seemed interested.
I got picky i guess lol.
look where it got me. I have a boyfriend that I find sexy beyond all reason, who treats me... I'm not sure there is a word. Just seeing him smile at me.. being in his presence... makes me feel so wonderful. Granted this is a fairly new relationship and I probably shouldn't put all my eggs in that basket just yet... but I'm happy and comfortable with how it's going. Just because I can't see him every day doesnt change how i feel about him or percieve him. In short: HE FUCKIN ROCKS! lol
So.. I'm looking into a cubicle type of job with Levi. I like MCi for the simple fact of, even though i was selling something- i was still socializing... which is the best kind of job for me. I'd love to try my hand in being a server.. alas, no one will hire someone to serve people food who hasnt done much food serving before. grr. I served food at bigsurf but that didnt count.. it was mostly catering stuff... but my years of customer service skills count for nothing it seems. so "blue stuff" here i come! (blue stuff= the product)
I really need to get a car! (random bitching)
to Jarrod:
Crash and Burn Lyrics
Savage Garden
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
to David:
Cold
Crossfade
(exerpt)
I never really wanted you to see,
the screwed up side of me that i keep,
locked inside of me so deep,
it always seems to get to me,
i never really wanted you to go,
so many things you should have known,
i guess for me there's just no hope.
I never meant to be so cold.
What i really meant to say,
is i'm sorry for the way, i am.
I never meant to be so cold
Never meant to be so cold
those are my dedications for the day...
ok be prepared.. this is one of those chessy servey things...
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Full Name: Cassandra Rene'e Beaty
Birthday: August 13, 1985
Birthplace: Mesa, AZ (sadly)
Current Location: Mesa, Arizona (again.. sadly)
Eye Color: Hazel... usually the color of honey... sometimes very dark
Hair Color: at the moment deep red.. who knows what next...
Height: 5'2 - short mofo
Right Handed or Left Handed: leftie
Your Heritage: uhh MUTT... scottish, french, native american are the dominants I think- also irish, german.. lord knows what else...
The Shoes You Wore Today: black sandals...
Your Weakness: love.. chocolate, accents ('specially Jarrods :-)
Your Fears: dying. eep. sorta motorbikes..I'm getting over that slowly but surely
Your Perfect Pizza: omg. usually just pepperoni and extra cheese.. occasionally mushrooms and chicken as well- with garlic sauce mmm
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: pick one. sheesh. To maintain a stable, healthy relationship, to get "a real job" to get a car, to find someone worth while to take a gander at my portfolio, to start school
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: either "heh" or "lol" probably "lol" i laugh a lot
Thoughts First Waking Up: "is it absolutely crutial i get out of this bed RIGHT NOW?"
Your Best Physical Feature: depends on who you ask. this is gonna sound lame.. i say- my nails.
Your Bedtime: depends on when everone else gets offline lol
Your Most Missed Memory: hmm "most missed memory" for some reason it sounds redundent. hmmf. I guess I'd have to say the point in my life i was most fond of was living in chandler in that nice apt with a good job.. but just memory, riding quads on my grandparents land in washington... no. the beach. i miss the beach!
Pepsi or Coke: coke (preferably cherry) (although i'd still prefer dr pepper)
MacDonalds or Burger King: Probably Mickydees.. although i have to say fastfood wise I'd go for filibertos lol
Single or Group Dates: Single usually... it's easier to get to know someone
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: *scratches head* I can't remember- i think Lipton- I prefer hot orange poeke black tea with honey and milk (i know it sounds gross)
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate- vanilla is boring (live a little!)
Cappuccino or Coffee: cappucino, unless its in the morning... then coffee
Do you Smoke: Try not to... i don't around jarrod if thats an concilation
Do you Swear: Yes but not too often.
Do you Sing: when drunk/ no one else is around/ shower/ in the car
Do you Shower Daily: for the most part yes...
Have you Been in Love: Yes. and i learned a lot.. about relationships, guys, and myself
Do you want to go to College: i never used to... but now.. SEE: "Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year" hopefully to be an RN
Do you want to get Married: I thought I did.. yeah, I'm pretty sure I still do
Do you belive in yourself: probably not as often as i should
Do you get Motion Sickness: hmm, on some boats and reading in the car
Do you think you are Attractive: *sigh* sure why not *roles eyes*
Are you a Health Freak: HAHAH... pffsh whats health?
Do you get along with your Parents: When i do talk to my dad i usually do.. my ex step dad tries but I'm still very bitter about the past, my step mom kicks ass (shes like, 23) and my mom.. well.. shes more like a sibling...
Do you like Thunderstorms: I love the smell and sound of them... but sometimes they scare me when I'm alone- one of my two favorite smells that and oatmeal cookies!
Do you play an Instrument: hmm.. violin, trumpet, piano... i try so hard with the guitar and get no where.. oh and the recorder lol
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: A few beers... not much at all
In the past month have you Smoked: *hangs head in shame* same day i'll be able to say "NO!" to this question...
In the past month have you been on Drugs: fuck no..im not stupid..
In the past month have you gone on a Date: yes.. bowling with Jarrod :-D
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: almost always I could say "no" to this, but Jarrod and I went a few days ago...
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nope
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: yes- at the coffee shop- made by Jordan- ummm cream cheese salmon roll I think it was
In the past month have you been on Stage: No... i miss it though
In the past month have you been Dumped: no.. only been dumped once in my life- thanks matt :-P
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nope..havent done that in awhile- not tryin to scare everyone off!
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: well, ryan and levi attempted to get me to steal bowling shoes- BOWLING SHOES! i didn't though *pats self on back*
Ever been Drunk: unless you are mormon you have- DONT EFFING LIE!
Ever been called a Tease: lol... more times than I've said "fuck"
Ever been Beaten up: umm.. just by Eli i think..
Ever Shoplifted: no although I got punished for my friends doing it! I was just an excessory!!! those bitches!
How do you want to Die: content with my life, leaving a legacy, and not afriad
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: A photographer, actress or RN
What country would you most like to Visit: I've never left the country... I wanna take a trip like in "Eurotrip" go to germany, amsterdam... but i guess i should stay away from brotislava (lol to anyone who has seen that movie)
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: preferably green- but also blue
Favourite Hair Color: blonde, light brown or something from a box
Short or Long Hair: usually in between... but i like it long enough to run my fingers through
Height: 5'2 and up... MUST NOT be shorter than me
Weight: totally not picky... although i guess preferably... skinny- slender
Best Clothing Style: umm does "dork" classify?
Number of Drugs I have taken: 1- POT. never again.
Number of CDs I own: I dunno.. maybe 30 actually cds and maybe 30 of whatever i managed to pirate *grin*
Number of Piercings: technically.. 8. but the only one other than my ears is my tongue
Number of Tattoos: one- soon to be two the one i have: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/skychic022/detail?.dir=a4a1&.dnm=ca70.jpg&.src=ph
the one I'm getting: http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/skychic022/detail?.dir=87f4&.dnm=302c.jpg&.src=ph
although I'm getting it in the same colors as the first, and on my upper back
Number of things in my Past I Regret: ya know... I'm tempted to say 80 % of my life.. but honestly, I don't regret anything.. I'm a stronger person because of all my trials and tribulations and problems and all that.
alright so other than that... i'm going with scott tomorrow to his grandparents most likely cuz he needs my help im asssuming... maybe just my company.. who knows. so yeah... hes calling at like, 8 and here it is quarter to 5.. lol i guess i'd better go get some kind of sleep.. TTFN! ~Cass