Anthony
Well, I told Wednes that I'd write about disciplining Anthony Ray in my post so I'll do that. Well, he's o nly two and I've spanked him THREE times. Once, I told him that I would NOT let him go outside until I finished my cig (this was after dinner). I know this sounds selfish but seriously, although smoking is wrong anyway he should be taught (the sooner the better) that he has to once in awhile WAIT to get what he wants. I had no probs with goign outside but I was talking to my mom about something important. The main door was open (it was hot) and he opened (unlocked) the screen door b/c he's smart and he can do that. So he went outside (dangerous) I brought him inside and spanked his diapered bottom with a cupped hand. I felt AWFUL b/c I vowed NEVER to be a spanker like my mom but my parents agreed that I should be teaching him NOW that the world does NOT revolve around him and that he SHOULD be disciplined when he does something dangerous. Like, he could fall off the porch or run into the street or get kidnapped or bit by a dog... Another time I spanked him, he bit me hard enuf to draw blood. This was in a store. I was in line and he didn't want to be held. If I set him down a) he would run away and b)that would teach him that he could get what he wanted (set down) if he bit me. So I spanked him and this lady behind me called Child Protective Service on her cell phone. She told me to leave b/c it would "teach him a lesson". All that would teach him was that if he wanted to leave, all he had to do was bite me. He was acting up b/c he didn't WANT to be there. I wanted to teach him that he COULDN"T run away just b/c he didn't want to be somewhere. And it's not like I run to the mall every weekend, I was buying clothes for him dammit. I also spankd him the third time b/c he broke a lamp. he was mad b/c my sister was ignoring him (since he was whining and I said no about something, I can't remember what) he screamed and knocked over a lamp and shattered it. that's destructive and rude. I paid my parents back for it but still, I feel mad that he did it. But I feel like an abuser for spanking him. I can't put him in time out b/c he won't stay. If I hold him down, that would be abusive, right? I hate spanking him b/c I think that's hypocritical (no violence, WACK!) My parents think that he's spoiled b/c I almost ever discipline him, I usually clean up the mess and don't do anything but say "NO, that's not nice. Say "sorry"." I even feel bad doing that b/c I hated being forced to say sorry when I wasn't, that's promoting lying. I mean, he's NOT sorry he knocked over the lamp or bit me, he was trying to get attention or stand up for himself. I mean, he really is the sweetest kid, I just feel like... I don't know. I hardly see him b/c I'm on campus 8-4 each day and I'm terrible at being a mommy. I mean, I love Anthony b/c he's my kid and he's smart and funny adn cute but I really don't like kids in general. I'm just not good at being a mom. god, I really hate living at my parents but am I gonna have a mini "jackass" on my hands or am I a bad mom or something? Am I too mean? HELP!