Birthday Blues
now that it's the day after my birthday i can talk about it a little better. yesterday it seems that whenever i tried to talk about what i was feeling i started to cry. i hate crying. i hate having irrational girl emotions.
i think that i was most upset that i couldnt celebrate my 'special day' with my family and friends. funny, cause last year i was upset that i couldnt celebrate it with matthew. matty tried to make it a happy day... he bought me a watch, we went on a roadtrip to virginia city and he made me a fabulous gormet dinner - but the watch wasn't quite my style, and the roadtrip was very short since we woke up at 11am and i had to work at 5pm, and the dinner was during my 1/2 hour lunch break on a saggy picnic table next to the dumpster. i think that since every day that i've spent with matt has been great, i was expecting for my birthday to be super spectacular. i was expecting to awake to a room filled with brightly colored crepe paper and flowers, for our trip to seem like it lasted forever, and for my request of a "strawberry rubarb pie" to appear along with dinner. i know that these things are small, and that i shouldnt have gotten so upset over these little things... but i guess i was just having a bad day. afterall, my mom didnt call me to wish me a happy birthday until i was already at work for an hour. and the 80's party at work was a bust. the girls decided to have an 80's party that just happened to be on the same night as my birthday. everyone was asked to dress for the party, bring the appropriate food and music. unfortunately for me, i was the only freak to dress the part. everyone aked me why i was the only one dressed for 80's night, and i used the excuse that i was my birthday. side ponytails and leg warmers can be really embarassing sometimes. i guess i'm spoiled. and i guess that i just expect too much.
now that that's all out - is it better that i whine about little things like this, or is it better that i keep things like that inside? afterall, my worries are trivial. next time, i'll try to pretend that i'm happy and keep my disappointments to myself.
anywho, i'm in a much better mood today. i have an extended weekend coming up, and matt and i are prolly gonna watch fireworks from a mountaintop on the 4th. but right now, i've gotta get some mcat studying done, so Goodbye!
i think that i was most upset that i couldnt celebrate my 'special day' with my family and friends. funny, cause last year i was upset that i couldnt celebrate it with matthew. matty tried to make it a happy day... he bought me a watch, we went on a roadtrip to virginia city and he made me a fabulous gormet dinner - but the watch wasn't quite my style, and the roadtrip was very short since we woke up at 11am and i had to work at 5pm, and the dinner was during my 1/2 hour lunch break on a saggy picnic table next to the dumpster. i think that since every day that i've spent with matt has been great, i was expecting for my birthday to be super spectacular. i was expecting to awake to a room filled with brightly colored crepe paper and flowers, for our trip to seem like it lasted forever, and for my request of a "strawberry rubarb pie" to appear along with dinner. i know that these things are small, and that i shouldnt have gotten so upset over these little things... but i guess i was just having a bad day. afterall, my mom didnt call me to wish me a happy birthday until i was already at work for an hour. and the 80's party at work was a bust. the girls decided to have an 80's party that just happened to be on the same night as my birthday. everyone was asked to dress for the party, bring the appropriate food and music. unfortunately for me, i was the only freak to dress the part. everyone aked me why i was the only one dressed for 80's night, and i used the excuse that i was my birthday. side ponytails and leg warmers can be really embarassing sometimes. i guess i'm spoiled. and i guess that i just expect too much.
now that that's all out - is it better that i whine about little things like this, or is it better that i keep things like that inside? afterall, my worries are trivial. next time, i'll try to pretend that i'm happy and keep my disappointments to myself.
anywho, i'm in a much better mood today. i have an extended weekend coming up, and matt and i are prolly gonna watch fireworks from a mountaintop on the 4th. but right now, i've gotta get some mcat studying done, so Goodbye!