(no subject)
Ok, How hooker-like is it if someone has literally touched and then some every square inch of you(clothed and not lol) but you have yet to actually kiss them (cuz you know how some prostitutes have the “no kissing” rule lol) lol
So I was at Rob’s last night lol
At work he asked if I wanted to have a movie night. I said sure. An OMG I got off work at 4:45 last night cuz everyone was GONE! It was SOOOOOOO Nice!…especially since time cards were already turned in so it said 6:00 so I still got that hour and 15min lol Anyway, so he picked me up around 8 and we went to Blockbuster and got Blades Of Glory and this movie The Rise I think it’s called…a vampire movie with Lucy Lu, which, by the way, Sucked ass lol Someone recommended it to him, along with a Nicholas Cage movie, and I loathe Nicholas Cage so I refused to see that one(the others in it were Julianne Moore & Jessica Biel, who I also loathe…if someone else good had been in it then maybe, but no lol). And then we found the vampire one and he found it first and told me to read the box and see if I could work with it. Is aw it was a vampire movie so I said Hell yeah lol But no…it sucked, and what’s worse, it was like, Neverending! It was insane! lol But Blades Of Glory was fun lol
So anyway…I went in to this…prepared, if you will lol Ok, like I’ve said…I’m trying on the not being superficial thing, and I thought it was working. Still was at the start of the night, as I knew when I found myself irritated that during the first movie(The Rise) he made no moves whatsoever lol The Colt texted me during the movie…my phone was in my coat pocket on the other side of the room, so I let it go until the movie was over…if FINALLY ended and I checked the message….”I’m going to Adams” OF COURSE he comes to Akron when I’ve already got plans. OMG I was SO tempted to be like, “Um, Riancheck!” lol But, Rob woulda wanted to go, too, and I don’t wanna go there, so I just told Colt I was busy lol I dunno why he was going to Adams…I texted him earlier today and asked but he never responded…I thought maybe there was some possibility that Fridays were back on, or that’s why he was going, to talk through shit and gets Fridays back…but I dunno…I think if that were the case he woulda answered me, but knowing Colt, who the fuck knows. In any case, he’s got a show at The Belt on Monday so I’ll see him then…Hopefully Tony goes as well…gotta have my faux boyfriend to keep me company while Colt’s in the dressing room and stuff cuz no one other than performers and in some cases sig others are allowed lol
Anyway…
After Blades Of Glory we decided to watch another and went through his movies, most of which I never even heard of, let alone seen. He was deciding between Ringer and Waiting. Now, if I had remember that Waiting was Ryan Reynolds, Idda been like, Hell yeah, but it wasn’t until after Ringers that I remembered that Waiting was a Ryan Reynolds movie. Ryan reminds me of Colt…Colt kinda resembles him lol But, we watched Ringers, which was good…didn’t wanna watch Johnny Knoxville lol but Kathryn Heigle was in it so it was all good, and it was cute anyway, so it’s all good. This was when he started getting touchy lol And then we were on a love seat so I was completely uncomfortable the majority of the time, and after Ringers we were chatting, half falling asleep, him still touchy at the same time, then he’s like, “Ok, we’re gonna be sore as Hell in the morning if we stay here, we should go lay down.” I was all for comfort so I was all for the bed lol I got like next to no sleep, well, both of us really, but I think he slept more than I did. Plus his 2 Pomeranians kept coming in attacking…in cute nice puppy ways, not the evil Hell Dog way lol I’ll spare the details, but no there was no more then touching…I probably shoulda done something, but I was tired as hell and just laid there half asleep lol Plus, the physical thing started to get in the way of me doing anything too. I was really surprised he didn’t attempt to kiss me…well, I think once or twice he was about to but I turned away, yet I let his hand roam wherever they wanted lol But let me tell you those are some magical hands right there lol We didn’t eve leave the bed until like 4 or something…and I got up because I started to feel like shit…seriously, I suddenly got the headache from hell, a killer stomach ache and I was half dizzy. He had actually fallen asleep I was hotter than hell feeling like shit so I got up and went to sit on the couch to get some space. I think that’s another reason I didn’t actively participate lol He kept pulling me to him saying “This feels so good” and “You should stay over more often” I’m like….No I need space, this is NOT a regular thing! lol So basically I felt he was getting clingy to me and I wasn’t having any of that shit lol And this morning he was getting on my nerves lol He kept like half sleeping then waking and saying something random then going back to sleep lol And at one point he was like, “Do it all over again tonight” and laughed, then fell back asleep lol I just thought to myself, not so much lol A: this was when I started feeling crappy but it hadn’t completely hit yet…but boy was I actually glad when it did lol; B: this is NOT about to be an ongoing thing…otherwise I’ll never get the fuck out of this house lol; and C: I felt gross in the clothes I wore last night and slept in and basically I just really needed to shower lol And so did he lmao…plus brush teeth…one of the times I thought he was about to kiss me was this morning and prior to that we were laying face to face and he was breathing on me and it wasn’t pleasant lol I’m very sensitive to bad breathe and bo smells, and I was grossing myself out, too lol I couldn’t take it. And when I told him I felt like shit, had a headache and a stomach ach he just looked everywhere for aspirin but he didn’t have any so he said he was gonna go run to get cigarettes and would pick me up some aspirin, and also mentioned that there were some awesome french bread pizzas in the freezer….Ok, I just said I one hell of a stomach ache…do you REALLY THINK I want to eat PIZZA!?! lol Now, if he had offered chicken soup, then maybe lol…but not even cuz I really needed to go home and get clean clothes on and get clean altogether lol He really thought I was gonna stay there for round 2 even when I felt like shit…lol Granted, I came home, like 3 or 4 Advil, I forget lol, and felt perfect within the hour…but then I ran to CVS to get chicken soup, saltines, and sprite just incase lol But yeah, he has to work in the morning and wanted to do the movie thing on Friday because of that…and then he still wanted me to stay there over night again. No…I can only hand one overnight at a time…I can’t do 2 in a row…I start to feel crowded and shit, needing my space, my bed, and all my personal things, not someone else’s. Plus, his bathroom doesn’t have a door, which really bothered me, so I was also like, I dunno how much more I can use this doorless bathroom….When we were watching it I held it until after a movie and he went out to take the dogs out, or went into his room for something…cuz you can basically see the bathroom from the couch, and yeah, call me crazy but I’m not all about that lol
So, now it’s the physical barrier and my superficialness, and now the him getting clingy thing that’s keeping me distant. It’s like last time I stayed over there all over again…except things went a lot further last night then a couple weeks ago(but at least a couple weeks ago I was flat ass drunk so I played minor memory loss on that night…which wasn’t entirely false, but I didn’t blatantly forget anything, there was just some hazy stuff lol)…this time, not so much…I only had 2 ½ Smirnoff’s, and 2 Smirnoff’s does not a drunk Samantha make, not even close lol I don’t wanna go to work on Monday. I gotta remember not to mention The Belt…cuz last week when Colt told me he was going, Rob asked if I was doing anything and I told him, and then Colt changed the plans and dind’t go, and at like 11-something Rob called and asked if I was still there cuz he wanted to come buy me and my friends a drink. Ok, no lol And this will not happen again Monday night cuz I’m not about that. I don’t really care for meshing friends in the first place, because of past prior fiascos in doing that lol But in this case I really don’t want to lol Oy. Basically I’m just really confused lol But I think I decided I don’t wanna do the sleepover thing again cuz then I just feel like…I dunno…I’m using him for the magical hands…cuz let me tell you…yeah lol when he’s all getting clingy and wanting more.
Ugh…if I had just ignored him from the beginning then I wouldn’t have this dilemma right now. Of course, he made it really damn hard t ignore him cuz he always come up and “bothers” me at the end of the day when I’m the only one left.
Which reminds me, we have a new teacher starting on Monday and she’s gonna be a closer, too, so I think my hours should be changing here eventually. Our licensing also just went up, so we’ll have to see, cuz we’ll have more kids eventually so they’ll eventually need to be more than 1 to stay til 6, so I dunno, Here’s hoping. DeAnna said she’s trying to accommodate everyone’s hours requests but until all the teachers are hired we’ll have to wait and see. And my years worth of lesson plans are ALMOST done! I’m excited. On the majority of them I just need to add songs and books, which I have to look for(songs) and I guess go to the library for books, but that ain’t gonna happen…I don’t even know where it’s at lmao There a few I still need a couple other things on beside books & songs, and there’s a couple that are almost blank, but for the most part they’re done…and I have November finished(except songs and books) and Dec is only like half done cuz I can’t figure out how I wanna set up themes lol But I think all I have left is Hanukkah/Kwanzaa week, cuz I can’t fure out what to do cuz I know virtually nothing about them…well, at least I got draddle, star of david, and menorah stuff for Hanukkah, but I dunno wtf to do for Kwanzaa days lol I should be getting my room in a couple weeks, so now I just have to worry about decorating. As soon as I get my big dry erase calendar I accidentally left in my mom’s car last weekend, which I should get back next weekend, I’ll get that up as well as my shapes and colors all around my circle time area…and I gotta get a circle time routine set up. And when we get preschoolers enrolled hopefully DeAnna remember to give me their names and shit so I can get that stuff up on the wall. I also have to go back through my lesson plans and make a list of stuff I need to check with DeAnna to make sure we have/will have eventually…that would help lol Our sensory tables finally came in yesterday which is Fabulous! I was getting nervous. Oh, and I need my fucking internet to fucking WORK for more than 10min a day so I can go find clip art graphics for name tags and birthday tags and stuff. I hate Time Warner(at least here…my internet was perfect when I lived in College Towers. It’s REDICULOUS how much trouble I’m having here! >:o ugh)
Anyway, that’s it…Imma shut up now!
T.T.F.N. :-*
So I was at Rob’s last night lol
At work he asked if I wanted to have a movie night. I said sure. An OMG I got off work at 4:45 last night cuz everyone was GONE! It was SOOOOOOO Nice!…especially since time cards were already turned in so it said 6:00 so I still got that hour and 15min lol Anyway, so he picked me up around 8 and we went to Blockbuster and got Blades Of Glory and this movie The Rise I think it’s called…a vampire movie with Lucy Lu, which, by the way, Sucked ass lol Someone recommended it to him, along with a Nicholas Cage movie, and I loathe Nicholas Cage so I refused to see that one(the others in it were Julianne Moore & Jessica Biel, who I also loathe…if someone else good had been in it then maybe, but no lol). And then we found the vampire one and he found it first and told me to read the box and see if I could work with it. Is aw it was a vampire movie so I said Hell yeah lol But no…it sucked, and what’s worse, it was like, Neverending! It was insane! lol But Blades Of Glory was fun lol
So anyway…I went in to this…prepared, if you will lol Ok, like I’ve said…I’m trying on the not being superficial thing, and I thought it was working. Still was at the start of the night, as I knew when I found myself irritated that during the first movie(The Rise) he made no moves whatsoever lol The Colt texted me during the movie…my phone was in my coat pocket on the other side of the room, so I let it go until the movie was over…if FINALLY ended and I checked the message….”I’m going to Adams” OF COURSE he comes to Akron when I’ve already got plans. OMG I was SO tempted to be like, “Um, Riancheck!” lol But, Rob woulda wanted to go, too, and I don’t wanna go there, so I just told Colt I was busy lol I dunno why he was going to Adams…I texted him earlier today and asked but he never responded…I thought maybe there was some possibility that Fridays were back on, or that’s why he was going, to talk through shit and gets Fridays back…but I dunno…I think if that were the case he woulda answered me, but knowing Colt, who the fuck knows. In any case, he’s got a show at The Belt on Monday so I’ll see him then…Hopefully Tony goes as well…gotta have my faux boyfriend to keep me company while Colt’s in the dressing room and stuff cuz no one other than performers and in some cases sig others are allowed lol
Anyway…
After Blades Of Glory we decided to watch another and went through his movies, most of which I never even heard of, let alone seen. He was deciding between Ringer and Waiting. Now, if I had remember that Waiting was Ryan Reynolds, Idda been like, Hell yeah, but it wasn’t until after Ringers that I remembered that Waiting was a Ryan Reynolds movie. Ryan reminds me of Colt…Colt kinda resembles him lol But, we watched Ringers, which was good…didn’t wanna watch Johnny Knoxville lol but Kathryn Heigle was in it so it was all good, and it was cute anyway, so it’s all good. This was when he started getting touchy lol And then we were on a love seat so I was completely uncomfortable the majority of the time, and after Ringers we were chatting, half falling asleep, him still touchy at the same time, then he’s like, “Ok, we’re gonna be sore as Hell in the morning if we stay here, we should go lay down.” I was all for comfort so I was all for the bed lol I got like next to no sleep, well, both of us really, but I think he slept more than I did. Plus his 2 Pomeranians kept coming in attacking…in cute nice puppy ways, not the evil Hell Dog way lol I’ll spare the details, but no there was no more then touching…I probably shoulda done something, but I was tired as hell and just laid there half asleep lol Plus, the physical thing started to get in the way of me doing anything too. I was really surprised he didn’t attempt to kiss me…well, I think once or twice he was about to but I turned away, yet I let his hand roam wherever they wanted lol But let me tell you those are some magical hands right there lol We didn’t eve leave the bed until like 4 or something…and I got up because I started to feel like shit…seriously, I suddenly got the headache from hell, a killer stomach ache and I was half dizzy. He had actually fallen asleep I was hotter than hell feeling like shit so I got up and went to sit on the couch to get some space. I think that’s another reason I didn’t actively participate lol He kept pulling me to him saying “This feels so good” and “You should stay over more often” I’m like….No I need space, this is NOT a regular thing! lol So basically I felt he was getting clingy to me and I wasn’t having any of that shit lol And this morning he was getting on my nerves lol He kept like half sleeping then waking and saying something random then going back to sleep lol And at one point he was like, “Do it all over again tonight” and laughed, then fell back asleep lol I just thought to myself, not so much lol A: this was when I started feeling crappy but it hadn’t completely hit yet…but boy was I actually glad when it did lol; B: this is NOT about to be an ongoing thing…otherwise I’ll never get the fuck out of this house lol; and C: I felt gross in the clothes I wore last night and slept in and basically I just really needed to shower lol And so did he lmao…plus brush teeth…one of the times I thought he was about to kiss me was this morning and prior to that we were laying face to face and he was breathing on me and it wasn’t pleasant lol I’m very sensitive to bad breathe and bo smells, and I was grossing myself out, too lol I couldn’t take it. And when I told him I felt like shit, had a headache and a stomach ach he just looked everywhere for aspirin but he didn’t have any so he said he was gonna go run to get cigarettes and would pick me up some aspirin, and also mentioned that there were some awesome french bread pizzas in the freezer….Ok, I just said I one hell of a stomach ache…do you REALLY THINK I want to eat PIZZA!?! lol Now, if he had offered chicken soup, then maybe lol…but not even cuz I really needed to go home and get clean clothes on and get clean altogether lol He really thought I was gonna stay there for round 2 even when I felt like shit…lol Granted, I came home, like 3 or 4 Advil, I forget lol, and felt perfect within the hour…but then I ran to CVS to get chicken soup, saltines, and sprite just incase lol But yeah, he has to work in the morning and wanted to do the movie thing on Friday because of that…and then he still wanted me to stay there over night again. No…I can only hand one overnight at a time…I can’t do 2 in a row…I start to feel crowded and shit, needing my space, my bed, and all my personal things, not someone else’s. Plus, his bathroom doesn’t have a door, which really bothered me, so I was also like, I dunno how much more I can use this doorless bathroom….When we were watching it I held it until after a movie and he went out to take the dogs out, or went into his room for something…cuz you can basically see the bathroom from the couch, and yeah, call me crazy but I’m not all about that lol
So, now it’s the physical barrier and my superficialness, and now the him getting clingy thing that’s keeping me distant. It’s like last time I stayed over there all over again…except things went a lot further last night then a couple weeks ago(but at least a couple weeks ago I was flat ass drunk so I played minor memory loss on that night…which wasn’t entirely false, but I didn’t blatantly forget anything, there was just some hazy stuff lol)…this time, not so much…I only had 2 ½ Smirnoff’s, and 2 Smirnoff’s does not a drunk Samantha make, not even close lol I don’t wanna go to work on Monday. I gotta remember not to mention The Belt…cuz last week when Colt told me he was going, Rob asked if I was doing anything and I told him, and then Colt changed the plans and dind’t go, and at like 11-something Rob called and asked if I was still there cuz he wanted to come buy me and my friends a drink. Ok, no lol And this will not happen again Monday night cuz I’m not about that. I don’t really care for meshing friends in the first place, because of past prior fiascos in doing that lol But in this case I really don’t want to lol Oy. Basically I’m just really confused lol But I think I decided I don’t wanna do the sleepover thing again cuz then I just feel like…I dunno…I’m using him for the magical hands…cuz let me tell you…yeah lol when he’s all getting clingy and wanting more.
Ugh…if I had just ignored him from the beginning then I wouldn’t have this dilemma right now. Of course, he made it really damn hard t ignore him cuz he always come up and “bothers” me at the end of the day when I’m the only one left.
Which reminds me, we have a new teacher starting on Monday and she’s gonna be a closer, too, so I think my hours should be changing here eventually. Our licensing also just went up, so we’ll have to see, cuz we’ll have more kids eventually so they’ll eventually need to be more than 1 to stay til 6, so I dunno, Here’s hoping. DeAnna said she’s trying to accommodate everyone’s hours requests but until all the teachers are hired we’ll have to wait and see. And my years worth of lesson plans are ALMOST done! I’m excited. On the majority of them I just need to add songs and books, which I have to look for(songs) and I guess go to the library for books, but that ain’t gonna happen…I don’t even know where it’s at lmao There a few I still need a couple other things on beside books & songs, and there’s a couple that are almost blank, but for the most part they’re done…and I have November finished(except songs and books) and Dec is only like half done cuz I can’t figure out how I wanna set up themes lol But I think all I have left is Hanukkah/Kwanzaa week, cuz I can’t fure out what to do cuz I know virtually nothing about them…well, at least I got draddle, star of david, and menorah stuff for Hanukkah, but I dunno wtf to do for Kwanzaa days lol I should be getting my room in a couple weeks, so now I just have to worry about decorating. As soon as I get my big dry erase calendar I accidentally left in my mom’s car last weekend, which I should get back next weekend, I’ll get that up as well as my shapes and colors all around my circle time area…and I gotta get a circle time routine set up. And when we get preschoolers enrolled hopefully DeAnna remember to give me their names and shit so I can get that stuff up on the wall. I also have to go back through my lesson plans and make a list of stuff I need to check with DeAnna to make sure we have/will have eventually…that would help lol Our sensory tables finally came in yesterday which is Fabulous! I was getting nervous. Oh, and I need my fucking internet to fucking WORK for more than 10min a day so I can go find clip art graphics for name tags and birthday tags and stuff. I hate Time Warner(at least here…my internet was perfect when I lived in College Towers. It’s REDICULOUS how much trouble I’m having here! >:o ugh)
Anyway, that’s it…Imma shut up now!
T.T.F.N. :-*