conclusions & spring break
in the past four years (my god, has it been that long?) i've written a shitton of things in this journal. i've documented breakups, personal drama and loss, roommates, religion, school, being overly politically correct, work, stress, personal issues...ad nauseaum. mainly, i've used it to clear my head about things that are bothering me because a paid account is so much less expensive than a therapist. but in addition to the deeper stuff, i'll mention people and events that i deem relevant to my life for however long i was thinking about them. i'll post pictures and the occasional survey. i'll bitch about school and work and life and boys, and i'll gush about all of the same topics.
and in four years, i've never felt as though i needed to really censor myself about anything. i'll leave out personal details because that's the respectful thing to do, and if i don't feel something is appropriate, i won't discuss it. the end. whatever i wrote about, i obviously felt strong enough about to write about, if only for a minute. why should i feel poorly, or embarrassed about something i wrote?
i shouldn't. and i won't.
and now that THAT'S out of the way, has anyone noticed that this school year has had so FEW angsty, emo, "wah wah wah, my life is so hard" entries in comparison to the last three years? because i have, and it's fucking awesome. college has been that time in my life where things have just "clicked" for me, and where things have started to make sense. i'm aware of what i can and cannot do about certain things and i've accepted the fact that SOMETIMES i have to just suck it up and realize that i cannot control everything the way i'd like to. my skin's gotten thicker, my opinion of myself has gotten better, and i'm about a thousand times less emo than i was last year at this time. maybe this is a good thing, it certainly feels like one. and maybe this is a bad thing, maybe i don't care ENOUGH about certain things or people. only time will tell, i suppose.
ANYWAY! it's spring break. and i was supposed to go to boston but didn't for a number of reasons, mostly involving the personal lives of jpallen and crschmidt and my not wanting to intrude. however, i don't care HOW busy they are in early may, because i'll definately be visiting then, as i will have buttloads of free time. so instead of bumming around cambridge and oogling hah-vahd and MIT and all the other cool shit in boston and spending time with a certain asshole i can't seem to get over, i'm at home.
and i'm working at rainforest. and i am ROLLING IN MONEY. i don't know how i'm doing it, but i am "ON." ever have those days at work where everything just went right for you? and you felt as though your job was so effortless and everything you did was right and awesome? yeah, that's been the last two days for me. i've had people complimenting my service left and right and being more than slightly liberal with their tipping and I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BUT IT IS AWESOME. i had people telling my to my face that they thought i was an awesome waitress, as well as telling me with tip money, telling my bosses, who would then pass the kind words along to me, and writing me really sweet notes on their reciepts. see?
i thought that was the goddamn sweetest thing in the whole world. and it totally makes up for the fact that i worked for ten hours today and am totally walking like a geriatric.
and in four years, i've never felt as though i needed to really censor myself about anything. i'll leave out personal details because that's the respectful thing to do, and if i don't feel something is appropriate, i won't discuss it. the end. whatever i wrote about, i obviously felt strong enough about to write about, if only for a minute. why should i feel poorly, or embarrassed about something i wrote?
i shouldn't. and i won't.
and now that THAT'S out of the way, has anyone noticed that this school year has had so FEW angsty, emo, "wah wah wah, my life is so hard" entries in comparison to the last three years? because i have, and it's fucking awesome. college has been that time in my life where things have just "clicked" for me, and where things have started to make sense. i'm aware of what i can and cannot do about certain things and i've accepted the fact that SOMETIMES i have to just suck it up and realize that i cannot control everything the way i'd like to. my skin's gotten thicker, my opinion of myself has gotten better, and i'm about a thousand times less emo than i was last year at this time. maybe this is a good thing, it certainly feels like one. and maybe this is a bad thing, maybe i don't care ENOUGH about certain things or people. only time will tell, i suppose.
ANYWAY! it's spring break. and i was supposed to go to boston but didn't for a number of reasons, mostly involving the personal lives of jpallen and crschmidt and my not wanting to intrude. however, i don't care HOW busy they are in early may, because i'll definately be visiting then, as i will have buttloads of free time. so instead of bumming around cambridge and oogling hah-vahd and MIT and all the other cool shit in boston and spending time with a certain asshole i can't seem to get over, i'm at home.
and i'm working at rainforest. and i am ROLLING IN MONEY. i don't know how i'm doing it, but i am "ON." ever have those days at work where everything just went right for you? and you felt as though your job was so effortless and everything you did was right and awesome? yeah, that's been the last two days for me. i've had people complimenting my service left and right and being more than slightly liberal with their tipping and I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BUT IT IS AWESOME. i had people telling my to my face that they thought i was an awesome waitress, as well as telling me with tip money, telling my bosses, who would then pass the kind words along to me, and writing me really sweet notes on their reciepts. see?
i thought that was the goddamn sweetest thing in the whole world. and it totally makes up for the fact that i worked for ten hours today and am totally walking like a geriatric.