battered

May 10, 2005 04:24

i'm slightly drunk at the minute, and thus prone to rambling and terrible typing. oh well ( Read more... )

angst, insecurity

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Comments 8

szasam May 10 2005, 14:11:35 UTC
lets go out.

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sfdh66787 May 10 2005, 14:14:46 UTC
Aw Stacey, I wish I had something good to tell you....maybe I can give you an xrated picture of my rack in my new bathing suit heh.

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merryprankster May 10 2005, 19:47:36 UTC
*hugs hugs hugs*

You are not a victim nor are you likely to become one. There is a HUGE difference between excusing inconsiderate behavior and putting up with abuse. You have a strong head on your shoulders and I am sure would take action at the first sign of any kind of abuse.

From what I know, if this is what I think it is, the reason you are so sweet and forgiving is because the tangible signals you have received have given you little reason to act otherwise--even though they may not have any relevance with current action. So don't hate yourself for giving people, especially those who haven't done anything terrible up until that point, the benefit of the doubt. Optimism and trust are not weaknesses.

The only weakness in this sort of a situation has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the other party(ies). Shame on them.

My advice? Retail therapy with me downtown ;-)

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aphysicist May 10 2005, 22:45:39 UTC
hey, wanna hang out?

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meditatinggolem May 11 2005, 02:21:10 UTC
I will take loads of abuse and forgive, come back for more, and blame myself for the entire situation by tearing away at myself wondering what I could have done differently to avoid disaster. on the bright side, maybe you won't worry about this so much when you're sobered up. on my dark side, I've never even touched alcohol and am probably more depressed than a drunk you. I know it makes me an asshole, but I wish people wouldn't drink so much...

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siren52684 May 24 2005, 07:18:24 UTC
HOLY CRAPPING HELL I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU IN FOREVER!

and. i do this exact thing: "I will take loads of abuse and forgive, come back for more, and blame myself for the entire situation by tearing away at myself wondering what I could have done differently to avoid disaster."the exact. same. thing ( ... )

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meditatinggolem May 24 2005, 14:45:05 UTC
not so good, I guess. for the past year or so I've been compelled by some foolish impulse to change the world. I don't know how to do it, I'm pretty sure it's impossible, and it would mean giving up a lot of things that make a life complete...but nothing else seems to be "good enough" for me to pursue. I worry that it's a sign that I'm nuts. I dunno...maybe it'll pass in time, but it keeps me up at night and consumes my attention.
I suppose this is signaling my becoming even weirder than before. I'm an English Lit major, I'm sure that helps keep me normal. some things haven't changed though: I still hate driving, don't know what to do with my life, haven't had a girlfriend or booze, bug people with my complaints and go into too much detail, and develop hopelessly unrealistic crushes. I'm more depressed, though...that doesn't help.

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meditatinggolem May 24 2005, 15:01:21 UTC
also, happy early birthday.

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