The truth of the world when we were young
I have a lot of weird theories to explain a lot of the weird things I see. Most efforts to squeeze sense from the world involve pattern recognition. For instance, a bunch of colors in an arc isn't proof that God is a vandal, it's a rainbow. Gibberish is a pattern of letters out of order. Attraction is looking at someone and thinking the two of you can fit, a fractured pattern made whole.
Given the above, random is probably the scariest word in the English language.
Anyway, here's a theory I've nursed since I was little, the truth of which for me is certain and unassailable: Gas attendants are always insanely happy because they get high from the fumes. This is true for any gas station, anywhere. Swing into the slot beside the pump and an attendant will usually appear instantly, slightly glassy grin broken only by the mumbled query of what flavor of gas it will be today. While the actual pumping is going on, they will cheerfully volunteer to wash wiper, windshield and window, check tire, change oil; the list of things they are willing to do for free (if you're a cheapskate and don't want to give a tip) is nigh on endless.
Perpetual cheerfulness and eagerness to do work not required, gas attendants must be high on something for sure.
Given the above, random is probably the scariest word in the English language.
Anyway, here's a theory I've nursed since I was little, the truth of which for me is certain and unassailable: Gas attendants are always insanely happy because they get high from the fumes. This is true for any gas station, anywhere. Swing into the slot beside the pump and an attendant will usually appear instantly, slightly glassy grin broken only by the mumbled query of what flavor of gas it will be today. While the actual pumping is going on, they will cheerfully volunteer to wash wiper, windshield and window, check tire, change oil; the list of things they are willing to do for free (if you're a cheapskate and don't want to give a tip) is nigh on endless.
Perpetual cheerfulness and eagerness to do work not required, gas attendants must be high on something for sure.