Portocarrero Chronicle 3.1 - Utter REJECTION!
Welcome to Part 8 of the Portocarrero Chronicle
WARNING: This post can take a long time to load for slow computers/internet connections, it has over 60 large images in it. Dial up may take a LONG time. Also.. might contain some nudity, cussing, gross humor, body-emissions and a wacky commentary. Enter at your own risk.
Previously on the Portocarrero Chronicle
Gen 1 - 1.0
Gen 2 - 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5
Gen 3 - 3.0
Last time, on the Portocarrero Chronicle:
Kevin showed off his Evilness by driving me crazy with portraits. Jay adopted a truly Zombie-like appearance.
Bryce moved out. Momo mastered the cooking skill and learned every recipe evar!
Fiona married Ian (with some difficulty), who kept showing strange pregnancy signs. Fiona worked out like WOAH
and developed GAMS of steel.
Let's see what they're up to now!
Let's begin this post on a stinker. Liam is a work-out-a-holic. He's constantly sweating it up and emanating
a gross green miasma everywhere he goes. But, on the same hand, he DID master the Athletic skill.
So... I guess that was worth it. And he's on the honor roll in school now. At least he's figured how to
balance his work and his passion effectively.
In our last episode Kevin started a portrait of our Heir.. Erm. *headesk*
Yes.. that's lovely Kevin. It's red-tastic. But that's not what she looks like o.O;
He immediately started a new painting. Black and Red...
I'm not holding my breath for this one being evil, either.
This is Tom Cruise. (You can DL him HERE at MTS)
This is Brad Pitt (You can DL him HERE at MTS)
They're neighbors with the Portocarreros. They're both married (hopefully to make me some pretty
pretty babies o.o that the Ports can marry down the line, though hardly anyone in my town is reproducing :\)
I'm just letting you know, in case you see them in game later and go O.O OMG IS THAT..
Yes.. it is So and So.
... Ian woke up on his wedding night, after they .. uh *coughs* consecrated...? And ran to the bathroom
to vomit his guts out. The house is 'full'.... is he pregnant.. for REALS?! o.o!!!
Wow... a REAL evil painting. Color me surprised Kevin. Seriously.
Kinda... *tilts head* looks like an evil red Shrek, doesn't it?
He then got tired of painting and ran downstairs to gloat about how evil he is. (note the Icon)
Jay is SO close to finishing the cooking skill at this point I was pulling my hair out.
But once Liam finished working out he came down to keep her company.
Jay Hey X-Liam (get it?), you're not on the treadmill... That's weird huh? Did you master Athletics already?
(note the tinge of jealousy at the end there.. she's been doing cooking longer than he's been ALIVE)
Liam *feels good about himself, nods*
Jay Oh, that's good... You're not about to start on the culinary skill are you? Th-that's mine.
Liam *Starts to worry...*
Jay If you even think about mastering cooking... I will kill you with an iron skillet.
Jay *looks at the screen with a blank emotionless zombie stare*
Liam *does not take kindly to threats, glares!*
Liam I.... I heard the Food Network was doing a High Complex Carb-Protein, Low Fiber-Fat special.
I was just hoping to get some X-treme Pre-Work-out snack recipes out of it.
Jay *doesn't believe it for a second*
Liam *sneers* Besides, you're rotting and smelly. You shouldn't be anywhere near food!
Jay *zombie heart is breaking!* :(
Jay *enraged* don't MAKE me hit you with my BIG cookbook!
They make up and head into the kitchen to eat some of Jay's delicious leftovers.
She's eating a hot dog. Granted, it's not BRAINS but with hot dogs, it's an animal-part potluck anyway.
There is a high chance there's brains in there, SOMEWHERE.
Liam then heads out on a jog... getting a 'head' start right through Fiona's window.
Cy and Ossy both reject each other... No love lost there :\ Even if Cy is happy to see Ossy.. Idjuts.
Ian folds over in what appears to be pain. Oh no wait, he's just confused. (Seems the boy is a total idiot)
Ian .oO{Wha... what is this feeling? I-i-is that... Happiness? But HOW?}
Ian *shivers* .oO{I'm married! I'm afraid of commitment! How can I be happy?!}
In the background, Momo is a Cooking Dynamo! He's just tossing them fish steaks in the air like a Pro!
... as an afterthought, I shoulda painted on a rainbow or something into this picture.
Too little, too late :D
Ah, an explanation! Ian is NOT pregnant! Ian is a vegetarian :\ That's why he was puking earlier.
See, even the stupid NO MEAT shirt doesn't help.
After his jog, Liam goes across the street to play football with his Aunt.
And then runs back across the street to the house to dive into the tiny pool.
SPLOOSH goes the tile!
Oh! Ian's birthday. He's... old. Fiona just turned into a young adult :\
He's shocked too, he had no idea he was so old compared to her CRADDLE ROBBER!
We are just as curious to see how you turned out Ian.
Sim God no likey! ... what's wrong with his neck o.o Does he have the MUMPS?!
ugh he looks ridiculous :\
and because of all his working out he has turned into a meat head apparently.
Ian A'duuurrrrrrr
His voice literally dropped to a ridiculously retarded level, husky, slow and ignorant.
Ian I be hao old nao? *counts on fingers* Wan.. Too.. Frii...
Ooookay... what to do first? *taps chin*... I know! All of the above, ending in BREAK UP!
NO MEATHEADS IN MY FAMILY! D:<
Fiona You are a GARBAGE HUSBAND!
Ian .oO{Woah! Where did this come from all of a sudden!}
-For this thought bubble Ian's thoughts have been made mature and intelligent.-
But Fiona means Bidnuz! She's just as miserable with this meat head as SG is!
Fiona *taunting* all you do is talk about yourself. Blah blah blah! You are NOT that interesting!
Ian Grrrrrrr An-greee
Ian I dun talk about me all the ta-eem!
Fiona Uh... Ian. Yes you do. You just did! Just now!
Ian That was tricky! You made me!
Fiona *scoffs* hardly.
Fiona And if I have to hear you go on about how awesome it is to be a vegetarian again, I'll sock you!
She's actually cross eyed with rage here!
Fiona UUUUUGGGH! I can't believe I fell for your bullshit!
Fiona Marrying you was a horrible mistake, its OVER! Get the F*ck Out!
Ian actually felt the whiplash from that last one xD
Fiona and Ian Break up. Relationship MINUS MINUS.
Sim God gets rid of an idiot. Great Time Moodlet + 20 mood (4 hours.)
Ian *calling cab* .. Durrr.. I think I got to move now.. send a yellow thing on wheels pleez.
As he walks out he starts bad mouthing Fiona. Imagine the expletives so I don't have to type them.
Sim God *motions at car to hurry* Quick, while he's not looking!
*Screeeeeeeeeech Ka-THUD!*
Sim God *CACKLES*
Black dye hardly sticks to blonde. It's started to wash out already, stupid semi-perm dye.
Look! Blonde roots :D
Sim God does NOT sit on her laurels! Fiona went to the Art gallery to look for a new husband.
I found this moderately attractive guy in the park, READING. Idiots don't read...
Yes.. he's reading a kid's book, what of it? >.>
I sent her to greet him but he got in a car and drove off. I lost track of him. But while I was looking for him
I ... noticed Brad, Tom and their wives were hanging out at the beach. They are everywhere I look, seriously!
That's Roxie Love in the background there! She's married to Brad :P
SG2 convinced me to let her have the ridiculously over breasted Lara Croft mesh for her pajamas :\
*mutters*
I finally tracked down where Robi French lived. But he wasn't home. So Fiona hung around, playing for tips,
(In all actuality, stalking him) until he came home. LOOK! He's home! Hooray for perseverance!
The boys take some time to socialize, playing 2 vs 2 Foosball.
Louise asked Jay to fix her TV for her (Jay is kick ass at fixing things)
But as soon as she came onto the lot she started ranting, raving, and pulling at her hair.
I don't know why, I think she's an atheist and not part of the SimGod 1 church. So I can't read her mind.
Also... no one else cared.
Once she calmed down, she wandered into her cousin Fiona's bedroom.
Jay took advantage of Louise turning her back to try to brain her with a wrench.
I did my best to dissuade her.
SG1 Bad Jay. Don't try to eat your cousin's brains. That just leads to inbreeding.
After much persuading, Jay put the wrench away.
Very much A La Montague, Momo takes a shower.
Meg walks in to use the potty and stare at her hubby's Tush.
Someone finally constructed a tub-less shower, like I used in the Montague Legacy.
I waited for this a long time. I'm tired of struggling to take compromising pictures of sims showering o.O
I sound like such a creep. Anyway!
Too many sims, not enough showers. If one more sim runs around with the "Embarrassed" moodlet I'll
asplode. So, I replaced one (of 2 existing) combo tub/shower with this shower, and added a second shower
outside on the deck where everyone works out. Its in a room by itself, with windows on every side and a glass door.
It's pretty much a greenhouse + shower. But, they're in a room so they don't get embarrassed if someone
peeks at their bits through the GIANT FLOOR TO CEILING WINDOWS.
Sim mechanics are so easy to loop hole :P
Anyway, enough showers for everyone and 1 bathtub for the neat freak. HOORAY.
Here is smelly Liam, effectively using the new peeping-tom shower room :D
I guess it's really just a big outdoors glass shower ^^
After some doing, Fiona finally hooks in Robi. He's a Young Adult like her but this is his
first kiss ever.
Sim God is in a hurry, these two get engaged right away ^^
Fiona With this ring, I thee wed.
Fiona .... for ever and ever, or until Sim God thinks you're a loser and/or gets tired of you. Amen.
Fiona then attacks his nose. *neeble!*
With a quick make over he's actually kinda cute :D Lets keep him!
Fiona then cherishes the fond memories of her second (supah-fast) wedding.
She actually seems HAPPY this time around.
Robi was working at the Spa but that won't do for a sim that wants to be rolling in the Simoleons.
He got a new career as a criminal, which requires a good athletics skill.
Fiona stepped right up to get her new husband some training. She was super into it.
Fiona *screaming* COME ON!! YOU CAN DO IT! JUST A LITTLE LONGER!!!!!
Robi *pant, wheeeze, gasp!*
And finally, the black was grown out! Here is Zombie Jay once again as a blonde.
(the tips didn't come off all the way yet) No, she didn't get a make over. This is her 'fancy outfit'.
Its a gothic lolita type getup :P figured I may as well show it to you here since my Sims
idea of dressing up is wearing street clothes :P
That's it for now, Catch you all NEXT TIME!