Portocarrero Chronicle 2.4 - STOP! ...... Hamma Time!
Welcome to Part 6 of the Portocarrero Chronicle
WARNING: This post can take a long time to load for slow computers/internet connections, it has over 60 large images in it. Dial up may take a LONG time. Also.. might contain some nudity, cussing, gross humor, body-emissions and a wacky commentary. Enter at your own risk.
Previously on the Portocarrero Chronicle
Gen 1 - 1.0
Gen 2 - 2.0 2.1 2.2 2.3
Last time, on the Portocarrero Chronicle:
Meg became a full adult (read: MILF) and tried to eat Momo's brains when he wasn't looking.
Her weight fluctuated like Oprah's. Momo got a 'sexy Irish' makeover. Liam was the most entertaining,
AND disgusting Triplet. Jay grew up into a fine upstanding goth Zombie. (Note the Icon) Fiona got
her own guitar. The triplets became children. (before, they were just monsters) and Liam does
everything EXTREME!!!
Let's see what they're up to now!
Before we begin. Tonight's episode is brought to you by the color: GREEN
There's nothing quite like sleeping while Ossy's ghost gets bored. Because.. he shows up and starts
haunting things next to your head. Thankfully, Momo's snores muffled out the ghostly
OooOoOoooo noises Ossy was making. So he slept right through it.
Conner! What's wrong?! Did you hurt your leg?
Oh... No. He's just being a (scaredy) drama queen. Why?
Because his grand pappy Cy is in the room :\
Seriously? ... Srzly? ... Grow a pair, Conner.
I'm STILL not happy with Bry's looks... He's a hottie AND a loner.
I made him a Mod :P .. Only a day before his birthday ~.~; Waste of a make over.
Close up on the new hotness.. those cheeks though, tsk.
After a fine haunting, a ghost loves nothing more than a nice ... w-workout???
SG *cups hands around mouth* OSSY! YOU'RE MADE OF ECTOPLASM! NOT CELLULITE!
... stop being such a gym-queen...
Meg starts a new book, a romance/thriller/mystery. The edge means.. the edge of a KNIFE!
>.> Scary AND erotic..
Every so often Momo and Meg have a Sexy-Night
(Or as we call it in the business.. Business time on Wednesday Nights...)
Can you see the love there? He has his daddy's love face! <3 <3 <3
Momo *pushes meg on her back and makes sexy love face at her* Rawr!
Ok.. I was just kidding. It's just love face.
Pardon me for imbuing my Sims with x-treme mojo.
Love or Sexy Love face, the result is the same. Sweet hand holding afterglow... Siiiiigh! :)
The mystery gets knocked to the presses super fast. Meg is a Jew and she married a Gentile.
Her next novel is a romance novel close to her own heart :) It's a page turner. It becomes a Mash Hit!
Goth Zombie Jay gets an appropriately dark room. And her own TV for uninterrupted
cooking channel watching. FUCK YOU, BABY SITTERS! Outsmarted ONCE MORE!
Now.. Fiona wants to fall in love. She IS a romance sim after all.
I pulled a bunch of sims off MTS and plugged them into a house. I made a few couples, spawned some
auto-kids and left some singles. All of this in an attempt to demaximfy my neighborhood for future
breeding stock for my heirs. ... This is one of them. I always thought he was a cutey.
It took me a while to find the house since none of my sims KNEW them....
Once I found the house I caught this guy hanging out on the sidewalk. I think his name is Ian.
I pulled back to get a good look at him and send Fiona to their street... WTF! He's PREGNANT?!
Wait.. is .. is he gay?!!? ..... Oh.. No.. that's just a "Pregnant Clothes for Guys" replacement mod
I installed so future m/m or f/f couples could reproduce.. Unlike Ossy and Cy.. PHEW!
scared me for a second there, Ian!
Proof of her I NEED ROMANCE NOW wish.
This.. isn't his house. As soon as she arrived at it.. he got in a taxi and headed to the movie theater.
He's playing cat and mouse. I can already tell this is going to be annoying.
That's right Fiona! Woooork it! Strut your cute little butt ^^
She's into it, you can tell.
Nameless Woman: Don't worry Ian! I'll save you!
SG: *blink blink*... what the hell?!
Fiona makes to walk up to our pillow tummy packing target and this skank gets right in the way.
Can you say COCK BLOCK?!
(Backstory: She's one of the sims over in their house. I think its meant to be his sister? Maybe?
She must not approve because she pulls the Stop - Hammer Time move right in Fiona's
way as she tries to mack her new baby daddy >.>)
Nameless Woman: *DISAPPROVING FACE!*
Fiona *pouts, lip quivering*
... awww!! It's ok Fiona! We can fix it!
SG *pushes skank out of the way* There you go sweetie :D
Fiona: Sorry about that skank, I can't believe she tried to cock block me... but SG got rid of her ^^
Ian *Unaware* .oO{what the hell is she talking about? What skank??? SG?}
Fiona manages to convince Ian to come home with her. Because she has the fast talk skill and SG
can't focus on the 7 other people at home while she's over here.
They could be setting the house on fire! I can't have that!
WE INTERRUPT THIS BROADCAST OF
-THE YOUNG AND THE SIM-
FOR A BRIEF WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS.
Are your bubble baths slow and boring?
Drink POWERTHIRST!
And then you can be having EXTREME BUBBLE BATHS! (rubber ducky not included with purchase)
Ossy and Cy meet on the steps to the house. (This has never happened before)
Ossy: Cy! It's you! Its so nice to see you!
Cy: ... I love you Ossy.. but you're a GHOST! GROSS!! Stay away from me!
SG: ..... Ooookay. o.O I didn't see that coming.
After an Extreme Bubble Bath.. what's better than.. an EXTREME SWIM IN A TINY POOL!
Nothing. That's what. The water immersion graphics engine is so trippy.
Someone brought home this little girl over from school. Josephine something...
She's a little black version of Fiona. *sends her home* We already have one, GTFO.
This is how Jay spends her time. Sitting in her room, alone, watching cooking TV.
... what? I'm not a bad SG.... I just don't want her eating everyone's brains!... >.> yeeeah.
Look.. that's my story and I'm sticking to it!
WE NOW RETURN YOU TO OUR BROADCAST OF
-THE YOUNG AND THE SIM-
Last time, It was late. Ian came over, and then immediate complained he had to go home to do 'stuff'
So, after a good rest Fiona calls him back over.
He says its too late and screams at her. :\ Really.. really annoying.
Bry: I really hate Ghost Grandpa Ossy. Grrrr!
SG: Wow.. Bry. Harsh. You look at lot like him, and one day YOU'LL be a ghost too.
Bry: Oh wait! It's my birthday YAY!!!! I never have to see that stupid yellow bus again, WOOO!
... that's ONE way of looking at it Bry.
But you WILL have to go to work. So, it's more of the same really.
Bry: Ggnnrrrrk!!
Most painful looking birthday ever xD
SG: HAH That's what you get for dissing Ghost Ossy!
.... No. MAKE OVER TIME! STAT!
.. woah. Bry.. is .. a beefcake? He's never stepped on the work out equipment, ever.
Those sweaters he wore in high school REALLY helped hide his burly body, huh?
In a moment like this, you can totally see the family resemblance though!
SG: *puts down the scissors* much.. MUCH better. Even more MOD looking now Huh?
He looks SO much like his mom just then!
Dr. House continues to amaze us!
Why. Are. The. Trips. All. Wearing. The. Same. Green. O.O
That was NOT my doing!
Well, it's time for Fiona to try again! She puts on her best dress and heads out to track down her
designated hottie.
-MEANWHILE-
Green. Everyone... is wearing green >.< Except Bry. *pumps fist* Hoorah for solidarity!
Kevin: Mom! You stink at this game! *jams buttons*
(alternate line) Kevin: Mom! You're totally garbage at Madden 2010 football!
Liam: *Matter of fact* Yeah, Mom. Don't make us bench you!
Meg: ~Dejected~
Conner: *gets hurt for his mom and looks at her with worry*
SG: Don't be such a wuss Conner! FOCUS ON THE GAME!
Fiona finally makes it to Ian's house... Oh look! Other hotties to make me sexy dates! :D
Hello Nameless Skank who totally cock blocked my baby ... Why are you hiding in the bushes?
Afraid I'm gonna find you and push you again? You can't hide from me, up in this hot air balloon!
I can see everything! *Shoves her, cackling madly* TAKE THAT!
After Fiona heads inside... Ian takes a moment to FART ON HER CAR!
... I... Is.. is that some kind of.. dating ritual I don't know about?
Ian fails to respond to any of Meg's attempts at wooing.
I even have all kinds of woohoo mods between age sets and everything, nada.
During one of her further attempts this pops up... Really now >.>
BIRTHDAY TIME! (I'm fairly desperate at this point..)
She calls him over.. and he stands up from the table and collapses next to his food.
WHY is this so familiar to me...? OH YEAH!
NOWI remember! >.> Maybe he really IS pregnant!
But whatever, he takes too long to come over so Fiona goes ahead with her party.
Fiona: Teeheee YAY! I can finally make out with my pregnant boyfriend!
You know Fiona, I'd be making the same face if I grew up into THAT outfit o.O
This birthday was NOT Magical! QUICK, make over station!
Phew! nice save! :D She is FRAKKING GORGEOUS!
Do any of you STILL doubt why I want her as Sim Heir?
... He fell asleep AGAIN on the way over the only bedroom in the house... >.<
We finally got him to stay awake for a few minutes and she tried to interact with him.
... express need for exercise? Does she mean herself.. or him?
SG: Fiona, honey. He's fake pregnant, not fat. You do realize he's uber skinny right?
Fiona: Mmm.. You know I'm made of Win when it comes to the bedroom.
Wanna come back to my place and find out why?
He says yes and follows her out to her car.
Fiona *pats the seat beside her* Right here Shugar.. the leather is nice and warm!
Ian: *Waddles out*
SG: *breaks out laughing* Oh, Fiona. You predator.
Fiona puts on the movies while Daddy and Mommy sit ~not~ 10 feet away. Brave kid!
Fiona: I really like you, we have some crazy chemistry. Wanna be my boyfriend?
(Ian has been asleep for most of their dating history, this makes sense. He's kinda mentally absent like
Keanu. Don't you think so?)
Ian: .oO{Chemistry? Boyfriend...? what's this crazy broad talking about?} Uhh what?
Even though he's a pain in the ass to date, they really are kinda cute together ^^
We finally get him into bed! CUDDLESS!!
No, just kidding. He hops out of bed and collapses on the floor... AGAIN.
Just off screen Fiona looks terrified as she hops out of bed O.O!
SG: *facepalm*
Momo gets an opportunity to write a book. This is his title.
All he knows about is medicine and music. This made sense to me :)
Another romance novel for Meg. I'm running out of trashy titles >.<
.. Conner!! *groans* No he's not asleep. He saw g-daddy's ghost again. Goshdarnit!
This better not become a 'THING'
Here's Bry's adult sleep wear.. Notice all the body hair. I'm still trying to decide wether I like it or not.
Fiona: Being with you is so euphoric. I always feel like I'm walking in low gravity.
In the background, Conner freaks out about the mushy moment between his sister and Ian.
xD.. he's a weird kid! But don't feel so bad Conner, I think that line is pretty sickening too.
Fiona: I bet you look super hot holding some heavy barbells, baby!
She wagged her eyebrows right after I took the picture...
SG: Is that supposed to be Sexy, Fiona? the Athletic trait sure makes you have weird conversations o.O
Fiona *does her mom's sexy monster face.. almost*
Ian: *does freak out face!*
UGH!! FIONA!! Not while he can SEE YOUR FACE!!! *head-desk*
It's been so hard to get him to DATE YOU, don't fuck it up before he gives you babies!
Oh!! AND IAN IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT! This DOES NOT help! *moar head-desk*
well.. it doesn't seem to hurt too badly...
Fiona & Ian: *eat each others faces* Nom nom nom.
SG: *Rubs hands together* ..... Xxxxcellent!
The boys REFUSE to go outside while Fiona and Ian are being mushy-disgusting-cootie swappers xD
Fiona *in Ian's ear* You know.. if you bring me flowers, I'll totally make you glad you did!
.. Oh Fiona, you little slut!
-MEANWHILE, UPSTAIRS-
The boys decide to get have some togetherness.
Kevin: Dad, that book you wrote was awful. It totally flopped.
If you want to do better next time you better work on your writing skills!
Bry *looks sad, because it's true and he loves books*
Kevin leaves, because he's said his piece. Bry and Momo start talking about work.
They're BOTH doctors, you know.
Bry: Gee dad, when I told you I wanted to be a doctor, you could have told me it was going to be hard!
Momo: Well, Son. It's not hard. Most people just need a good pat on the ass *pats his butt*
and a reassuring word to get better. A lot of illnesses are mental.
Momo: I think medicine is easy. You just have to care about people's feelings. And apply a
band-aid where their heart is hurting. Maybe you should work on your bedside manner a little?
Bry: Yeah! You're right dad! It's not just about the drugs. If you give people a Placebo and help
them with their other problems, a lot of illnesses just fade away! Thanks dad, that's really helpful!
Momo: Yes son, but that doesn't mean you should slack on your medical knowledge! You don't think
practicing medicine is like those shows on TV, do you? Some people need real help and you need
to learn to discern the difference in order to give a good diagnosis.
Momo: I know being a doctor can be difficult but I know if you apply yourself you are capable of
helping people, no matter what is wrong with them.
While they are talking, the two wander out onto the deck. It's a lovely day outside.
Momo: Hey, have you tried that new drug they are testing at the hospital on any patients?
Bry: I diagnosed this patient who had an irregular heartbeat and matched the symptoms they
said the medicine would help.
Bry: But his heartbeat went insane! It was jumping all over the place! I don't know what happened!
Momo: *scratches his head* That's strange, son. Maybe your dosage was off. If you want I can take
a look at his chart and maybe I can help you figure out how much you need to give him to help with
his irregular heartbeat. We might have to try a different medicine all together.
Bry: Wow, dad! I'm so happy you're such a good doctor! Thanks, that would really help!
Momo: My pleasure son. Don't worry, you're very intelligent. I'm sure one day you're going to be
an even better doctor that me :)
That was incredibly satisfying conversation! I'm so happy these two can talk about work together!
Their relationship status really improved, just from this conversation :) Happy Sim god!
-BACK DOWNSTAIRS-
Jay was chatting up Ian.. and when Fiona came back over to claim her man, Jay pulled this face as she
walked past them back into her bedroom
SG *glares* JAY! NO SMILING! You're a ZOMBIE, remember! Back to your TV!
Not to worry, these two got things back on track!
That's the end of tonights episode!
I leave you with this shot from Fiona's and Ian's post coital, blissful sleep.
She looks so content ^^ He's a total man, on the other hand!
Don't forget, you can download Fiona AND Bryce over at the download a sim post here.
And we're gonna be having an Heir Poll sometime next week, probably after the next
update in which Jay will grow up. So keep a tally on which Sim you want to
be the Generation 3 heir!
'Til Next Time! Thanks for reading our Portocarrero Chronicle!