backdated: sometime last week.
today i woke up in bed with amber and ginevra and absolutely did not want to get out. in fact i wanted to just disappear from the face of the planet. lately i've been feeling pretty angsty. not wanting to do anything. the weather doesn't really seem to matter. i've been late to everything and missing every deadline. i have so many projects, deadlines, initiatives that i have less than a month (or far less than a month in most cases) to finish. i think it's time to call in some help. it's really my anxiety taking over me...i can't even begin to make any progress on anything until i can learn to take a deep breath. it's interesting because i have friends who are dealing with the same exact issues as i am and i find myself giving them advice but not being able to follow it myself. perhaps my life calling is something to do with helping other people deal with their anxiety issues. like being the scientist who discovers how to calm your anxiety in a few simple steps --> easily achievable, non-overwhelming ones. that's the thing: i know what to do, but taking the initial step in that process is even more stressful. i really need to start documenting the process from complete relaxation to high stress.