this year.
i think i've fallen. it's amazing to me that no matter how lonely i feel i can work out the kinks with the help of my friends and family and move on. but i've fallen and i'm scared i'll be hurt. i guess time will only tell.
i suddenly feel the urge to figure everything out. i really want to call him and ask him how he feels but i know we would both actually hate that. i just need to talk to him when we get back home. i know what needs to happen but i hate it. and it's funny because i already miss home a ton. and i've had the urge to contact him since i woke up. even just to touch him. our hug last night was so intense i was shaking. i just wanted to jump on him and never let go. i've been thinking of migrating out west in the fall. i will get a job this summer doing something just to save money and then do something amazing. part of me wants to start school next year just so we'll be on the same track. and i've also been thinking about applying for senior corps. maybe not in boston but in san jose. i want to learn everything. and i miss talking to people. i feel like this break will not be super satiating due to the lack of youthful minds. not to be agist but really i'm just craving a sort of youthful energy. i love the friends i've made so far in boston. this past week was insane. in the best way possible. i just wish it wasn't going to be a little awkward between andrew and me. i really do adore him. i'm just a little to pre-occupied and of course the main reason: our extreme differences in life-styles. oh dear. what a world, what a world. i need to write more often.
i suddenly feel the urge to figure everything out. i really want to call him and ask him how he feels but i know we would both actually hate that. i just need to talk to him when we get back home. i know what needs to happen but i hate it. and it's funny because i already miss home a ton. and i've had the urge to contact him since i woke up. even just to touch him. our hug last night was so intense i was shaking. i just wanted to jump on him and never let go. i've been thinking of migrating out west in the fall. i will get a job this summer doing something just to save money and then do something amazing. part of me wants to start school next year just so we'll be on the same track. and i've also been thinking about applying for senior corps. maybe not in boston but in san jose. i want to learn everything. and i miss talking to people. i feel like this break will not be super satiating due to the lack of youthful minds. not to be agist but really i'm just craving a sort of youthful energy. i love the friends i've made so far in boston. this past week was insane. in the best way possible. i just wish it wasn't going to be a little awkward between andrew and me. i really do adore him. i'm just a little to pre-occupied and of course the main reason: our extreme differences in life-styles. oh dear. what a world, what a world. i need to write more often.