Influences volume 1
It is the day after our nation’s independence day and I am feeling nostalgic about my life. There have been people in and out of my life for thirty years. They do not always no what their influence has been on me. I think it is time that they know how much they have influenced the person who sits before this computer typing away.
From the moment I arrived on the 9th of June, there have been several constants in my life. My parents, though divorced, have tried to always be there to pick up the pieces when I have fallen apart. Mom coached me through life and sports. Always making sure I knew to get back up quickly and never give up. My dad taught me to dream big. He did not always help me achieve those dreams, but he did teach me to dream. My brother, as much as I hate to say, has taught me a lesson. He taught me to never let anyone’s words bother me. I was loved and still am by my immediate family even if we do not always tell each other.
My Grandmas cooking and love saw me through holidays and summers. I spent my free time from school at their houses. Sometimes we drove to Texas or Alabama and at other times they drove to us. I was always allowed the free reign to be and do whatever I wanted when I was with them. They never said no to their grandbabies and ever wish or desire was given to me, my brother, and my cousins. I learned how to cook, how to be fearless, and most of all how to just have fun. There are many moments when I smell or see certain foods I drift back to those days of pigtails and my thick glasses.
My Pawpaws will probably never know what kind of influence their different and distinct personalities had on their baby girl. My Texas Pawpaw was a scrapper. He was the tough as nails guy, who looked like he had just playing the role of a greaser in a 50’s movie. He had tattoos, the white t-shirt, jeans, and black biker boots. If you saw him you would have thought that is one bad guy. If the truth be told, he had a soft spot for all his kids and grandkids. He taught all the grandkids how to shoot craps, but it had a twist to it. He gave us the money to play against him and each other. He would let us get ahead and then take us for every little penny he gave us. I learned, as Kenny Rogers sang, how to know when to hold’em and when to just fold’em. He taught me how to just love the outdoors. Nothing was better than being in the garden picking tomatoes, playing with his bunnies he raised, or fishing the bay and watching the big boats. He left me 14 years ago and I still hurt over his loss.
I now face the loss of my other Pawpaw. My Alabama Pawpaw was the epitome of the southern man, when I was growing up. He totally expected my Granny to have the dinner on the table at the same time everyday. He worked on his cars, mowed his yard, and watched the Braves. The funny thing is that he really is not the guy I grew up believing he was. Instead, he became a man I truly admire and love with all my heart. I never really knew that he was not biologically my grandpa until I was about 10 or 11. I never put two and two together that we had two different last names. My Pawpaw married my Granny, who had a three year old son from a man she never married, and had my aunt. He always referred to my dad as his son and we were his grandbabies. In the past ten years the man that never did any house work learned to cook, clean, and pay bills when my granny became ill. I think his sweet tea surpasses my Granny’s, but don’t tell her I said that! Pawpaw taught me to appreciate old cars, working with my hands, and a love for the Atlanta Braves. In the past few years the man who I have never seen cry, tends to cry when I leave. He doesn’t know but one morning when I was sleeping in at their house, I heard him come to my door three times. Finally, the fourth time he went open the door to wake me up and my Granny stopped him. I heard him say he did not want me to sleep the day away because I did not have long to visit. He had just wanted to spend time with me and did not know how to really tell me. I got out of bed and all he said was I should not be so lazy, my Granny smiled up at me from across the room. I call and check in as much as possible.
I wish I could say more about influences but I feel like I would be typing for years. I just needed to get some of it out and release the tears that seem to be constantly flowing. The thought of losing someone else that has influenced my life without being able to physically tell them bothers me. I wish I could sit down and tell everyone, who has been in my life, how much I appreciate what they have taught me whether it is good or bad. Since my move to Connecticut, I have realized how much my family and friends really mean to me. Being not near any of you makes it difficult for me to really tell you how much your influence in my life means. If I could come home now I would totally be there! Thank about who has influenced you and take the time to tell them because as I am finding out, once again, you may not have the time to tell them.
Heather
From the moment I arrived on the 9th of June, there have been several constants in my life. My parents, though divorced, have tried to always be there to pick up the pieces when I have fallen apart. Mom coached me through life and sports. Always making sure I knew to get back up quickly and never give up. My dad taught me to dream big. He did not always help me achieve those dreams, but he did teach me to dream. My brother, as much as I hate to say, has taught me a lesson. He taught me to never let anyone’s words bother me. I was loved and still am by my immediate family even if we do not always tell each other.
My Grandmas cooking and love saw me through holidays and summers. I spent my free time from school at their houses. Sometimes we drove to Texas or Alabama and at other times they drove to us. I was always allowed the free reign to be and do whatever I wanted when I was with them. They never said no to their grandbabies and ever wish or desire was given to me, my brother, and my cousins. I learned how to cook, how to be fearless, and most of all how to just have fun. There are many moments when I smell or see certain foods I drift back to those days of pigtails and my thick glasses.
My Pawpaws will probably never know what kind of influence their different and distinct personalities had on their baby girl. My Texas Pawpaw was a scrapper. He was the tough as nails guy, who looked like he had just playing the role of a greaser in a 50’s movie. He had tattoos, the white t-shirt, jeans, and black biker boots. If you saw him you would have thought that is one bad guy. If the truth be told, he had a soft spot for all his kids and grandkids. He taught all the grandkids how to shoot craps, but it had a twist to it. He gave us the money to play against him and each other. He would let us get ahead and then take us for every little penny he gave us. I learned, as Kenny Rogers sang, how to know when to hold’em and when to just fold’em. He taught me how to just love the outdoors. Nothing was better than being in the garden picking tomatoes, playing with his bunnies he raised, or fishing the bay and watching the big boats. He left me 14 years ago and I still hurt over his loss.
I now face the loss of my other Pawpaw. My Alabama Pawpaw was the epitome of the southern man, when I was growing up. He totally expected my Granny to have the dinner on the table at the same time everyday. He worked on his cars, mowed his yard, and watched the Braves. The funny thing is that he really is not the guy I grew up believing he was. Instead, he became a man I truly admire and love with all my heart. I never really knew that he was not biologically my grandpa until I was about 10 or 11. I never put two and two together that we had two different last names. My Pawpaw married my Granny, who had a three year old son from a man she never married, and had my aunt. He always referred to my dad as his son and we were his grandbabies. In the past ten years the man that never did any house work learned to cook, clean, and pay bills when my granny became ill. I think his sweet tea surpasses my Granny’s, but don’t tell her I said that! Pawpaw taught me to appreciate old cars, working with my hands, and a love for the Atlanta Braves. In the past few years the man who I have never seen cry, tends to cry when I leave. He doesn’t know but one morning when I was sleeping in at their house, I heard him come to my door three times. Finally, the fourth time he went open the door to wake me up and my Granny stopped him. I heard him say he did not want me to sleep the day away because I did not have long to visit. He had just wanted to spend time with me and did not know how to really tell me. I got out of bed and all he said was I should not be so lazy, my Granny smiled up at me from across the room. I call and check in as much as possible.
I wish I could say more about influences but I feel like I would be typing for years. I just needed to get some of it out and release the tears that seem to be constantly flowing. The thought of losing someone else that has influenced my life without being able to physically tell them bothers me. I wish I could sit down and tell everyone, who has been in my life, how much I appreciate what they have taught me whether it is good or bad. Since my move to Connecticut, I have realized how much my family and friends really mean to me. Being not near any of you makes it difficult for me to really tell you how much your influence in my life means. If I could come home now I would totally be there! Thank about who has influenced you and take the time to tell them because as I am finding out, once again, you may not have the time to tell them.
Heather